Chapter Nineteen
(Hey, y'all!
Two Fun Facts:
Steve Buscemi, an actor who is very well known for playing Randall Boggs from Monsters Inc and Rockhound from Armageddon, turns fifty-six on the thirteenth of December! Happy Birthday, Steve!
Wayne Allwine, who was one of the Mickey Mouse voice actors, was married to Russi Taylor, who played Minnie Mouse.
Anyway, the chapter in this story is going to have two songs being performed by the characters. Here are the links:
watch?v=mPVpMxVn6mk : You Can't Win (It's going to be cut down a little bit.)
watch?v=wg66kwRnOpw : If I Only Had A Brain
So here is the nineteenth chapter and enjoy the story and life as it goes!
Believe me, this is going to be a really interesting chapter ;)!
-imaginarytoon1
PS: Pray for the families from Newtown, Connecticut because last year, on December 14th, 2012, their children and a few teachers were killed in the Sandy Hook Shooting. Pray for the families and friends of the victims who died in the shooting.
PPS: The crows from Dumbo make their guest appearances in this chapter. If you don't know who they are, my suggestion is go on Disney Wiki. ;-))
Beatrice:
If I had a watch on my right wrist, then I would know how much time that I spent on walking, nearly tripping on the ruby gladiator sandals, watch a black toon bird fly around the sky, and listen to Toto munch on the apples and oranges and slurp on the water bottles that were in the bag that I was carrying him in. I am still walking down the long yellow brick road and I feel like I've been walking for hours…or maybe something longer than hours…days…and months.
As I walked, the environment begins to change a little bit. I was no longer in an all-cartoon environment. I was now in an environment with a few objects that are from the world of reality. The yellow brick road remains as a cartoon road but in one area that I'm about to pass by isn't something that I would see on a cartoon.
"Where are we now, Beatrice?" Toto asked me with his mouthful of orange slices (I know because I can smell the oranges.).
"We're about to pass by a cornfield with a fence." I replied. "And don't eat all of the oranges or apples or drink all of the waters. I need to have some fruits and water for sustenance."
"Well, take a couple of ears of corn if you would like. Take as many as you would like."
"I can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"Because somebody probably owns the cornfield and I'm sure that it's not right to steal the owner's corn. It's wrong and I'll feel like a criminal after taking a couple of ears."
"Do whatever keeps your boat afloat."
As soon as I was about to take another step with my right foot, I nearly tripped again.
"I swear if I trip again, I'm going to scream." I said to myself.
I was about a few feet away when I realized that I was walking to a crossroads that would led me three different directions. One more cornfield was present on the left side, the road in the middle led to a faraway place and the other road led to a trail THAT LED TO WHO-KNOWS-WHERE.
I stopped in between the crossroads and I began to think over on which road to follow and face the inevitable.
"Okay, which way do we have to go?" I asked myself out loud.
"Pardon me, that way is a very nice way." A high squeaky voice said to me.
I whirled around in confusion. I didn't see anybody…other than a two-headed scarecrow with his left arm pointing at one direction. Wait a minute, a two-headed scarecrow?
"Who said that?" I asked.
I thought I heard someone laughing in the cornfield after I asked to see if anyone said anything.
"Why don't you ask that weird-looking scarecrow?" Toto asked me while munching on an apple.
"Don't be silly, Toto." I replied. "Scarecrows don't talk. This scarecrow is the most unusual scarecrow that I've ever seen."
"It's pleasant down that way, too." A sort of deep and goofy voice said.
I looked up and the two-headed scarecrow was pointing at the other direction. I heard the faint laughing again.
"That's funny." I said. "Wasn't he…or weren't they just pointing the other way?"
"Of course, people can go both ways." The two-headed scarecrow said and he...or they crossed their arms, pointing at opposite directions (Thank goodness that there was one arm on each side. A four-handed scarecrow would be too creepy.).
AH HA! GOTCHA! I thought.
I was stunned. I never thought that I would see a two-headed scarecrow and I didn't think that some things that are inanimate can move around and talk in Oz.
I walked towards the scarecrow and I got a better look at…them. The upper body outfits were split in half (one half was a black outfit that I can't identify while it's stuffed with straw and the other half looked like a burlap sack from a dumpster and many scraps of trash, newspaper articles, and some things that look like something from some books) and the two heads looked stuffed animal versions of Psycho (whose spiky hair is made out of scraps of newspapers and shredded soda cans) and Stupid (whose tuft of 'hair' was made out of straw) made out of burlap sacks with smudges of black material (either charcoal or soot) where their noses are supposed to be. On the head of 'Stupid' was an old black pointed hat with a flat trim and on the head of 'Psycho' was a crumbled up old popcorn bucket. The lower half of the scarecrow was brown pants with patches on where the knees are supposed to be with straw and scraps of trash were leaking out of the tiny tears. The shoes that the two-headed scarecrow was wearing were black and they were pretty torn. They each have their own strand of rope around their necks and a long braided strand of twine rope was wrapped around their waist.
To kind of make this description short, I'm just going to say that it's basically a scarecrow with two heads sharing one body.
Anyway, when I got close to the fence, I said to the Two-Headed Scarecrow,
"I heard you talk and I saw you move your arms. Now I know that you can talk and you can move…Well, you did say something…didn't you?"
Both heads exchange glances with each other and then, they looked at me. With a neutral look on his face, the head of 'Stupid' shook his head no. The head of Psycho grinned a really big grin and nodded. The heads exchange glances again and they did the opposite of what they did before exchanging glances (The head of 'Stupid' grinned and nodded and the head of 'Psycho' had a neutral look on his face and shook his head no.). Then, at the same time, the scarecrow heads had neutral looks on their faces and shook their heads no and finally, they grinned really big grins and nodded. After that, the head of 'Psycho' tipped his head to his left side in curiosity, waiting for me to make a reaction.
I frowned a little bit.
"Are y'all doing that on purpose or can't you two…make up your minds?" I asked.
"Duh, that's the trouble, miss." The 'Stupid' head said (He talks just like Stupid.).
"We can't make up our minds." The 'Psycho' head said (He talks just like Psycho.).
"We don't have brains."
My frown melted in to a look of curiosity and confusion.
"If you don't have brains, then how can you talk?" I asked.
My question caught the Two-Headed Scarecrow completely off-guard. The heads exchanged looks with each other in confusion and then, the head of 'Stupid' replied,
"I don't know."
"But some people without brains…" The head of 'Psycho' began.
"…can do an awful lot of talking." The heads finished in unison.
Just as I was about to say something, a high-pitched voice with a thick Southern accent interrupted me.
"Well, looky here, looky here!" It shouted.
"Who was that?" I asked the Two-Headed Scarecrow.
"What's cookin' 'round here? Who's she? Why is she talkin' to him?!" Another voice with a thick Southern accent shouted.
"Uh oh." The heads said in unison.
Then, a toon crow with a cigar and four more toon crows walked out from behind the corn, flew up for a few brief seconds, and perched on the fence.
They were the crows from Dumbo. The first and short crow wore glasses, a red shirt, and a blue sailor hat. The second crow with a burning cigar wore spats on his feet and for clothing, he wore a red-striped shirt and a denim jacket and brown bowler hat rested on the top of his head. The third crow, who was the most corpulent of his group, wore a red vest and a blue hat. The fourth crow wore a gray vest and a gray hat. He also wore glasses but they weren't as round or as big as the short crow's. Finally, the fifth crow wore a red and teal striped shirt and wore a yellow hat that had its top cut off. Almost like the Toon Patrol, the crows had an usual taste in clothing.
Anyway, the crow with the cigar looked at the Two-Headed Scarecrow.
"Well, what are you staring at, Garbage Guts?"
'Garbage Guts'? I thought. Now what kind of a name is that?
"Is today the day?" The head of 'Psycho' asked.
"What do you mean?" The crow in the gray vest asked.
"Is today the day that you're going to get us down and let us walk around in our field?" The head of 'Stupid' asked.
"LET YOU DOWN?!" The crow with the cigar exclaimed.
The other four crows laughed.
"What is going on in that hayloft and garbage bag that y'all call 'heads'?!" The crow with the cigar asked.
"How many times have we told y'all that you CAN'T GET DOWN?" The crow with the yellow hat asked.
Toto peeked out of the bag with an orange peel hanging out of his mouth.
"What am I missing?" He asked.
"A two-headed scarecrow just made a bunch of crows insane by asking if he can get off of the pole." I replied. "You might want to check this out."
"We told y'all yesterday…" The crow in the gray vest began.
"…and the day before that…" The corpulent crow said.
"…and the day BEFORE THAT…" The crow with the cigar said.
"…that y'all CAN'T GET DOWN!" Every crow exclaimed in unison.
"And you can't walk!" The short crow exclaimed.
"This is terrible." I said to Toto.
"Whatever. I'm going back in the bag." He said and he disappeared to the bottom of the bag, helping himself to the fruits and water.
The head of 'Psycho' sighed sadly.
"You're right, guys. You're right and we're wrong." He said.
"And dumb, AS USUAL!" The crows exclaimed in unison.
"But what we read this morning-" The head of 'Stupid' began.
"READIN'?!" The crows interrupted.
"Man, how many times have we told y'all that readin' is a WASTE OF TIME?!" The crow with the yellow hat exclaimed.
Then, 'Stupid's' hand reached over to 'Psycho's' side and pulls out two scraps of paper from one of the leaking tears of his sleeve. 'Psycho' takes the second scrap of paper and holds it up to his eyes.
"Helen Keller says, 'Life is either a daring adventure or nothing'." 'Stupid' said.
"And Ralph W. Emerson says, 'Knowing is knowing that we cannot know'." 'Psycho' said.
The crows began to laugh and I shook my head.
"Who are YOU GOING TO BELIEVE?! A SCRAP OF PAPER OR YOUR FRIENDS, THE CROWS OF THIS HERE FIELD?!" The crow with the cigar exclaimed.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Brothers, it seems that Garbage Guts here has forgotten about the Rules of The Crows." The corpulent crow said.
"For shame." The crow with the yellow hat said.
The other crows began to clamor around, making the Two-Headed Scarecrow's heads spin.
"No, guys! We didn't forget!" 'Psycho' exclaimed.
"If you say that you didn't, then go ahead and recite them!" The crow with the gray vest said.
The heads exchanged frightened glances with each other.
"We shall respect all crows!" 'Stupid' exclaimed.
Pause.
"And?" The crow with the cigar asked.
"We shall not be near a book, magazine, newspaper, or any literature of any kind!" 'Psycho' exclaimed.
"Uh huh. Keep going." The short crow said.
"We are made to scare travelers and give them the wrong directions!" 'Stupid' exclaimed.
My eyes widened at that one.
"Go on, go on." The crow in the gray vest said.
"WE CAN NEVER EVER GET OFF OF THIS POLE!" 'Stupid' and 'Psycho' exclaimed in unison.
"YOU GOT IT!" The crows exclaimed in unison. "RECITE THE CROW ANTHEM!"
'Stupid' and 'Psycho' exchange shocked glances with each other.
"We have to sing that song AGAIN?" They said in unison.
Then, I heard music beginning to play.
"ELUCIDATE!" The crow with the yellow hat exclaimed.
"REITORATE!" The crow with the cigar exclaimed.
As 'Psycho' begins to sing, the crows began to dance on the brick road.
"You can't win,
You can't break even,
And you can't get out of the game
People keep sayin',
'Things are gonna change',
But they look just like you're stayin' the same."
"You get in way over your head.
And you only got yourself to blame.
You can't win, child." 'Stupid' sang.
"Can't win, child!" The crows echoed.
"You can't break even.
And you can't get out of the game!" 'Psycho' and 'Stupid' sang in unison.
As the crows danced, Toto popped his head from the bag and asked me why everyone is suddenly singing. I shrugged my shoulders.
"You can't win!
The world keeps movin',
And you're standin' far behind.
People keep sayin',
'Things'll get better'…" 'Psycho' and 'Stupid' sang in unison.
"JUST TO EASE YOUR STATE OF MIND!" The crows sang in unison.
"So you lean back and smoke that smoke!" The crow with the cigar sang.
"And you drink your glass of wine!" The crow in the gray vest sang.
"Say you can't win, child!
You can't break even!
And you can't get out of the game!" 'Psycho' and 'Stupid' sang in unison.
Then, as an interlude was playing, the crows stopped dancing and they looked at the Two-Headed Scarecrow. They began to throw insults at him, saying things like he's dumb and they're right. Well, the crows said some stuff like that and 'Psycho' and 'Stupid' gave them sad looks and they looked at me, as if they were saying 'What are we going to do' and 'How long is this going to last'.
"You can't win, child." 'Psycho' sang.
"No! You can't win!" The crows sang in unison.
"You can't win, child." 'Stupid' sang.
"No! You can't win!" The crows sang in unison.
"You can't win, child." 'Psycho' sang.
"No! You can't win!"
"You can't win, child." 'Psycho' and 'Stupid' sang in unison.
"No! You can't win!"
"You can't win, child!
You can't break even!
And you can't get out of the game!
You can't get out of the game!" 'Psycho', 'Stupid', and the crows sang in unison as the music sounded like it was about to end.
'Psycho' takes a small deep breath and sings out,
"YOU CAAAAAN'T GET OOOOOOOOOOUT…Whoo!"
He immediately begins panting as the crows began to perch on to the fence.
"OOOOOOF THE GAAA-AAA-AME!" 'Stupid' finished.
The music ceases and the crows began to laugh. A few of them were laughing so hard that they nearly fell down.
"I'll help you get down!" I exclaimed.
The crows and the Two-Headed Scarecrow looked at me with surprise.
"You will?!" The Two-Headed Scarecrow exclaimed with a smile.
"YOU ARE?!" The crows exclaimed at me.
"'Heck' to the 'yeah', I'll help them get down!" I replied.
"But they CAN'T WALK!" The crow with the cigar exclaimed.
I looked at him.
"They have legs and they need to walk! Now, shoo! Get out of here and don't come back!" I exclaimed.
I ran to the fence and immediately, four of the crows flew away, flapping their wings with all of their might. The only crow that remained was the one with a cigar in his mouth.
"You don't scare me, missy." He said.
Then, Toto popped out from the bag and said, "Boo!"
Immediately, the crow flew away with the others and they were never seen again in less than thirty seconds.
I looked at the Two-Headed Scarecrow.
"It's all right. They won't bother you anymore." I said with sympathy. "Don't believe anything that the crows said to you. They're wrong and I believe that you can walk."
"Do you really think so?" 'Stupid' asked.
"Yes. Here, let me help you get down." I said.
I put my bag down on the ground and I climbed over to the fence. I walked towards the two-headed scarecrow and 'Psycho' said,
"That's very kind of you."
He patted me on the head.
I looked at the back of the pole and I couldn't find any other strands of rope that would've tied the Two-Headed Scarecrow in place.
"I can't see how I can get you down because I don't think that you're tied up to the pole but you're stuck on to it." I said.
"Well, we're not bright about things but if there was a nail back there, maybe we'll slip off and we'll be free to go." 'Stupid' said.
That's when I spotted the giant nail on the back of the pole. I bent it down and as 'Stupid' said and to my surprise, the Two-Headed Scarecrow slipped off and lands on his knees. Some pieces of trash and hay spilled out as they tried to get up.
"Does that hurt?" I asked.
The Two-Headed Scarecrow grabbed the trash and hay and as 'Psycho' explained, he and 'Stupid' stuff the trash and hay into their chest.
"No, we just keep picking it up and putting it back in us again."
"IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE FREE!" 'Stupid' and 'Psycho' exclaimed happily in unison.
They got back on their feet, did a ballerina spin, and they tripped over a broken part of the fence and fell back down on the ground. I screamed in surprise.
"Did we scare you?" 'Stupid' asked.
"No," I replied, "I thought that you just hurt yourselves."
"But we didn't scare you?" 'Psycho' asked with a confused look on his face.
"No, of course, you didn't."
'Stupid' sighed sadly.
"Didn't think so. If only we had ourselves a brain, we would've figured that we could walk and scared those crows away." He said.
"Hey, everybody has a brain." I said.
"Not us, miss." 'Psycho' said.
"I just have straw." 'Stupid' said and lifted his hat to make it obvious.
"For me, it's garbage."
'Psycho' takes off his popcorn carton hat off of his head in the middle of his head was a hole full of trash. He puts the hat back on his head.
"You saw what happened when those crows came." 'Psycho' began. "Before you scared them away, they would always come here and make fun of us and laugh because we're two heads…"
"…that share the same body. We're failures because we don't have ourselves our own brain." 'Stupid' finished with a sad look on his face.
"Obviously, you are a two-headed scarecrow." I said. "And the natural role for scarecrows is to keep the crows from getting into the gardens. But since you think that you need a brain to help make your job easy, what else would are you planning to do if you did get yourselves your own brain?"
'Psycho' and 'Stupid' looked at me with mild surprise.
"If we had a brain, we could…uh…" 'Stupid' began.
Then, music began to play.
Why is there music playing at random times? I thought.
"Well, I could wile away the hours,
Conferrin' with the flowers,
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain." 'Psycho' sang.
The Two-Headed Scarecrow attempted to get up but rolls down on the ground. As 'Stupid' began to sing, I help him and 'Psycho' try to stand up.
"I'd unravel any riddle,
For any individ'le,
In trouble or in pain."
The Two-Headed Scarecrow slipped but I caught them just before they hit the ground.
"With the thoughts you'll be thinkin',
Y'all could be another Lincoln,
If y'all only a had a brain." I sang.
Why did I just sing?
The Two-Headed Scarecrow stands perfectly still for a second…
"Oh, we'llllll tell you why!
The ocean's near the shore!
We could even think the things that we never 'thunk' before." 'Stupid' sang.
…then, they sit down on the ground.
"And then, we'll sit…" 'Psycho' sang.
"AND THINK SOME MORE!" He and 'Stupid' sang in unison.
As the Two-Headed Scarecrow slowly got up, they continue to sing.
"We wouldn't just be 'nothins',
With our head full of stuffin',
Our heart all full of pain."
The Two-Headed Scarecrow dances around and kicked their legs as they danced.
We would dance and be merry.
Life would be a ding-a-derry.
If we only had a brain!"
The Two-Headed Scarecrow does a couple of wobbly ballerina spins and falls down on the ground. The music ends after they fell down.
I ran back to the fence and grabbed my bag with Toto in it. I quickly ran back to the Two-Headed Scarecrow and sat down next to them.
"Wonderful!" I said. "If scarecrows back in Houston can dance like y'all, every single crow would be scared to fly around the fields."
"Would they?" 'Psycho' asked.
I nodded.
"Where's this 'Houston'?" 'Stupid' asked.
"It's where I live." I replied. "In fact, I want to get back home so badly that Toto and I are going to the Emerald City and get the Wizard of Oz to help us."
The four eyes of the Two-Headed Scarecrow widened in surprise.
"You're going to see a WIZARD?!" 'Psycho' and 'Stupid' exclaimed.
"Uh huh." I replied.
They exchange glances of excitement with each other.
"Do you think that if we went with you, this wizard will give us a brain?" 'Stupid' asked.
"I can't say." I replied. "But even if he didn't, you'd be no worse than you are now."
Both heads nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, that's true." 'Stupid' said.
Then, I glanced around the area and I looked back at the Two-Headed Scarecrow.
"Maybe you shouldn't." I said. "Because I got a witch mad at me and I don't want y'all to get in trouble."
Both heads wrinkled their noses.
"Witch?" 'Stupid' asked.
"We're not afraid of a witch!" 'Psycho' exclaimed.
"We're not afraid of anything!" He and 'Stupid' exclaimed in unison.
Then, their eyes widened and they glanced around the area in fear.
'Stupid' gave me a hand signal that told me that they have a secret to tell me.
"Except for a lighted match." He said.
"I don't blame you at all." I said.
"But we'd still face a full box of them for the chance of getting a brain."
My eyes widened in surprise.
"Who's Toto, by the way?" 'Psycho' asked.
Then, Toto burped in my bag.
"The little dog in this bag is Toto." I replied.
"What is your name?" 'Psycho' asked.
"Beatrice."
"Look, Beatrice," 'Stupid' began, "we wouldn't be any trouble because we can't eat."
"Uh huh." I said.
"And we can't manage things because WE CAN'T THINK." 'Psycho' said.
There's a brief pause.
"Won't you take us with you to the Emerald City?" Both heads asked in unison.
After I brief second, I said,
"Sure, sure, I will."
Immediately, the Two-Headed Scarecrow jumped up with joy and exclaimed, "Hooray! WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD!"
Then, they fell on my left shoulder and I had to hold them up a little bit.
"You're kind of having a little rough start." I said.
"We'll try to improve." 'Stupid' said.
After a couple of adjustments, I asked, "To Oz?"
'Psycho' and 'Stupid' replied, "To Oz!"
Then, music begins to play again and the Two-Headed Scarecrow and I began to sing.
"We're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
We'll find he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was!"
The Two-Headed Scarecrow and I walked down the road that led to a trail that was straight ahead of us.
"If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was,
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does!
We're off the see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"
As the music fades to its conclusion, the Two-Headed Scarecrow, Toto, and I disappeared around the corner.