"The world is catching up to you
But you're running away to chase a dream
It's time for us to make a move
Cause we are asking one another to change
And baby I'm not ready but
I'll try"
-Asher Book
Flashback
"What's wrong?" Madison asked, when Chase broke their kiss distractedly.
"I don't think we can do this anymore Madison." He admitted. He had been feeling guilty for a while, but hadn't had the heart to tell Madison. Even though he was with Molly, he had grown to care for Madison too. Not just because they had been having this affair, but because they understood each other.
"Why not?" she asked, as if not meeting up in secret behind Molly and Brooks' backs would shatter her whole world. He knew it was stupid, but Chase liked the way that Madison clung to him. She was solid and consistent, where Molly was fluid and carefree. She appreciated him, and the time they spent together, where Molly seemed to never be able to make time for him.
"You know why not Madison; this was just a fling. You have a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend and this has to stop." Madison was crying now, and it took all of Chase's strength to not roll his eyes. Molly and Chase could yell at each other until the sun came up and she never looked like she might even be close to crying; he wasn't used to dealing with such a sensitive girl like Madison, usually he was the one close to crying. "Please don't cry, it's just-"
"No, I get it. You love Molly. I've always known it, I just thought that maybe-"
"No, no, that's not it. I mean I do love her, but I care about you too."
"You do?" she asked, "You're not just saying that to get me to stop crying are you?"
"No. I could never hurt you Madison, that's why this has to stop. Because in the end you'll be the one hurt the most and I feel too strongly about you to let that happen." He said as he wiped away a tear from her cheek. He felt disgusting saying these things to her. Not because he didn't mean them, but because they didn't have as much meaning as they would if he was with her properly. At his words she really started crying harder, and he didn't know whether or not that was healthy.
"Do you love me Chase?" she asked. He couldn't answer that. This was supposed to be him breaking things off with her, not confessing his love for her.
"Madison-"
"No, don't feed me any bullshit or try to talk around my question. I'm not Molly, and I won't fall for it. Do you love me? Just answer yes or no. If the answer is no we're done; none of this ever happened. If the answer is yes…"
"What? What if the answer is yes? It won't change anything!"
"It will for me. Just please answer." Chase took a deep breath, wondering whether or not he should tell the truth. He could do the right thing and say no; go down the path his life should. He would graduate, play Pro Quidditch, propose to Molly, and pretend none of this had ever happened. He could do that easily, but it would be a lie. He thought back to how thi whole thing has all started. At first Madison hadn't liked him at all. She barely spoke when he was around, and made little to no eye contact with him when he was with moll. He thought it was sweet, and when he brought it up to Molly she would just laugh it off. Soon enough Madison had warmed up to him, and he realized that she really was a sweet girl and it wasn't just a shy act or a tease. It was a huge difference from his girlfriend, who was not shy at all and could be very vulgar when she wanted. He liked that Madison helped keep Molly in control, and monitored her crazy behavior and over the top use of vocabulary.
He hadn't noticed Madison as more than his girlfriend's friend until she began acting as the middleman in their fights. He would fight with Molly, Molly would tell Madison, Madison would come to him, and they'd talk for hours and hours until he decided to forgive Molly or until Madison thought Molly wouldn't be mad anymore. They had formed a comfortable friendship, and soon she came to him about other things that didn't have to do with Molly. It wasn't until she came to him crying because she didn't know how to break up with Brooks that they even touched. Incidentally, that was also the first time they had sex as well, but was certainly not the last. They never talked about it, or put a label on what was going on, but they never stopped either. Sometimes he would intentionally find things to fight with Molly about so that he'd have an excuse to talk to Madison. It was sick, but he began falling for her in no time, and that scared him.
He had noticed last night that something was off with her, and that's why he had decided to end things once and for all today. The plan was to meet and end things quickly, but she had pretty much pounced on him like she had never wanted anything more in the world. He had wanted it too, but for some reason on this day, unlike any of the others, he started to think about Molly and that's what had made him stop. It was a horrible situation to be in, but it wasn't fair to lie to Madison in this moment with her being so vulnerable with him.
"I wish I didn't have to say it to you like this, because you deserve better than to be sneaking around with me in the first place, but I do love you Madison. That's the truth." She let out a huge smile, and that made him feel better for having to end things. At least no matter what, she could always have that moment.
"I love you too Chase, which is why I need to tell you something."
"Go on, but we have to hurry so we can get to the Great Hall before the others get suspicious-"
"Chase, I'm pregnant."
Those three words, in that order, had played over and over again for the last three months. He did not know what to say then and he definitely did not know what to say now. He wouldn't have believed it, but there were a few very clear signs that he had heard her say that. For one, he received a mix of sympathetic and disgusted looks when he walked down the halls of the school. Sign number two was that, on the off chance that he crossed paths with a Weasley or Potter, he felt like he was facing the end of his life. They must have been ordered to not attack him, because no one made a move to kill, but their stares cut deeper than any dagger could. Three, things with Molly had gone back to the way they were before he asked her out. He was nervous around her, and she acted as if he was invisible. It wasn't until he wasn't walking by her side that he realized how much he had liked it there. She had begun straightening her hair again and wearing her make-up. He thought that since those were all the things he had requested she not do when they were together , it would be easier to see her, but it really made him hurt even more. She was still hands down, the most beautiful girl in school, and she used to be his. The fourth, and most clear reason that he knew this was all real, was the little bump that had formed around Madison's lower abdomen. There was a baby in there; his baby.
Chase could admit to being a coward. He had been a coward for three years before being able to ask Molly out; he had been a coward when it came to her family members, especially James who was way younger than him; he had been a coward when he couldn't confront Carson about his flirting with Molly; he had been a coward for cheating on Molly in the first place; he had been a coward for trying to blame it on her; and now, he was a coward for not so much as thinking about Madison. He hadn't said anything after she told him the news, he had just walked to the Great Hall and she had followed. He hadn't said much when it all blew up in their faces, except for when he had yelled at Molly like an embicile. He had basically handled the situation with the tact and maturity of a 12 year old boy. Actually younger, because his brother Chance was 12 and he would have handled this a thousand times better than Chase had.
"Finnegan!" he heard, waking him up from his stupid thoughts. "Outside, now!" Chase had no clue what was going on, but the fact that Roxy had even acknowledged him gave him a glimmer of hope that maybe things could be ok. He didn't expect Molly to forgive him, but he would like the chance to apologize.
"Roxy! I've never been so happy to see you."
"Save it." She said, putting a hand to his chest and shoving him so that he was standing about 5 feet away from her. "What is wrong with you?"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Don't play dumb Chase, what reason do I have to be talking to you? You're a real schmuck, you know that?"
"I'm sorry-"
"No! Don't apologize to me, and stop trying to apologize to Molly. She doesn't want to hear it and if I have to burn another one of your letters I will set them on fire in your bed."
"You've been burning them? So she hasn't gotten a single letter from me?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but she's read them and instructed me to burn them all. That's not what I wanted to talk to you about though. You do realize that Madison is pregnant don't you?" she asked, looking pissed. He had never imagined she'd have wanted to talk to him about Madison, of all things.
"Yes, it's crossed my mind."
"Cro- It's crossed your mind?" she asked, with her face losing its usual coolness and turning to anger. "So you mean to tell me you've spent every day for the last two months writing Molly four times a day, but you haven't spoken with the girl that is carrying your baby? She's become the school's number one subject becaue of you an her situation has only croosed your mind? What is wrong with you?"
"I-I don't know, I-"
"Chase, you've gotten yourself into some deep shit, but you're not even trying to come up with a solution. Man up and talk to Madison because she is miserable. She is miserable, and lonely, and doesn't even have the guy that knocked her up to talk to, and Merlin knows what all that stress will do to that baby. Your baby; that you helped make and are taking zero responsibility for. Like it or not you're a dad now Chase and you need to step up and accept what's happened. She didn't get pregnant on her own so don't let her go through this alone. I know you messed up but through all this crap, and despite how shitty you've acted, you can still do something right. If she wants you to still, which I'm sure she does, you can be there for her. Take that advice and do what you want with it, I'm done with this." She said, her face returning to the mask of ease and perfection.
"Thank you." He said, again feeling like a coward for being scolded by a girl younger than him.
"Don't thank me, get your shit together." She said as she began to walk away, "Oh! And if anyone finds out we talked… well, actually go ahead and let me find out that someone knew this conversation happened if you want. It's your ass, not mine."
This time she walked away for good, leaving him standing there in the middle of the corridor. Firstly, Roxanne was one of the most intimidating and terrifying young women he had ever encountered, but she had made some good points. If he had lost all his friends, he could only imagine how bad it was for Madison. People were probably saying terrible things about her, and he'd just been strolling around the halls like a tool, completely unscathed. Roxy also had another good point, in that there was the possibility that Madison didn't want to talk to him. He would understand if that was the case, but he would try his hardest to fix things. He should tell his parents, and do the right thing by Madison without his mum having to tell him so. In less than a few weeks, he'd be out of Hogwarts forever, so he might as well start acting like and adult now. He would focus on Madison and her- their baby now, then try to fix things with Molly after everything cooled down. That might work.
He walked back into the Common Room, which had now filled with Molly and her family. Roxy continued talking as if they had never spoken and he ignored the stares from Lex and some of the other guys. He wondered what happened when Madison had to walk by them alone, but the thought made him feel terrible because it was his fault she was all alone. He wasn't allowed in the girls' dorms, and wasn't on good terms with any of them, so he had to go for option 2. He walked to the opposite side of the room where he saw Carly Davies sitting with her sister, Zack Longbottom and Dominique.
"Do any of you know where Madison is?" he asked. Dom simply scoffed and walked over to her family, but the other three looked amused.
"In her room. She's probably in there drowning in the sorrow of being a teen mother." One of the Davies twins said, "Why do you want to know? I thought you were in the running for the world's youngest dead beat dad."
"I need to talk to her."
"Isn't "talking to her" what got the two of you in this predicament in the first place? I heard that you and Molly used to fight, then you and Madison would "talk." That doesn't seem like the best idea right now."
"Give it a rest Carly, I need to see her."
"Touchy touchy." She said, not reciprocating his enthusiasm in the slightest. "But, you get points for getting my name right, so hold on."
A few minutes later, Carly came back practically dragging a disheveled, puffy eyed Madison. He hadn't looked her in the eye in weeks, but he had never remembered them holding such grief. She looked like she was about to walk into a lion's den, but Carly rolled her eyes and guided her in front of Chase.
"See? I wasn't kidding Baby Mama, someone really did want to see you."
"Madison?" he asked, making her look down at the floor embarrassed. "Can we talk?" A gust of life sprung to her eyes; this was probably the first decent human interaction she'd had since he tried to end things with her.
"Ew." One of the twins squeaked, "Take it outside." Chase took hold of Madison's hand and began guiding her out of the Common Room. Unfortunately they had to pass back by the Weasley section, but he was surprised when he was greeted with complete silence from the crew. Not one of them had made a sound or heckled the pair.
"Hey-"
"Hey?" she asked, pissed, "You all of a sudden want to talk to me now and all you say is hey? i've been through hell and-"
"I'm sorry! I'm really, truly sorry from the bottom of my heart." She let out a shaky breath and waved off his apology. She looked really exhausted and now he had probably interrupted her from sleeping. He just kept ruining things.
"What do you want to talk about Chase? I'm really tired."
"I don't want to beat around the bush, so I just want to ask if you want me to be in your life? You and the baby, that is." Her eyes went wide with surprise, but it passed as quickly as it came.
"Chase, you don't have to do that if you don't want. This is a big deal and if you're not ready-"
"I'm not ready for this, but I don't have much of a choice. I want to do this for you, not because it's the right thing but because I care about you and this is a responsibility we both share. You shouldn't be alone." She began to cry and he wondered what he had said wrong.
"I know you love Molly, not me, but-"
"That doesn't matter right now. From here on out I'm going to be here for you and the baby."
"Are you sure? Because I get it if you want nothing to do with this." She was giving him an out. Here she was, pregnant at 17, and she was giving him an out. This is one of those cowardly moments. He could be a coward and take the out, or, he could start a new chapter and make up for all the mistakes he'd made in his life. He couldn't erase the past, but he could start brightening up his future.
"No, I want to do this." He said, with more confidence than he'd ever possessed in his life, "We can do this."
A/N: I figured Chase should do at least one thing right in his life. Thanks for all the reviews and things. Also it's been cool getting to know some of you! This sounds like the story is ending or something but I'm nowhere near done, I just want to express how much I appreciate the reviews! lol Ok? ok!
-Jazz