[Eric Cartman. His house. his room]

He was done.

He had finally come up with a plan.

A plan that would ensure his vengeance and put Kyle where he belonged, in hell.

It was only a matter of time now. However, he needed Wendy's help. There were certain things he wouldn't be able to do without her help. That was why he had decided to help her out with clearing her name with Victoria, he needed her loyalty, or at least he needed her to owe him.

Still, he hadn't anticipated the weird feelings... first He had tried to ignore them, and failing that he had tried to understand what they were. But he hadn't come up with a good answer.

Having wet dreams about her didn't help thing either.

He couldn't be attracted to her, he just couldn't. He didn't understand any of it. He hated it, he hated her. But for the first time ever in his life, his hate wasn't enough to drown out all other thoughts.

He lifted himself off his bed and went to the kitchen; he grabbed a packet of noodles and began cooking. As he waited for it to cook his phone rang in his pocket. Cartman frowned and gritted his teeth.

"Jesus Christ, I just can't have an hour to myself" He muttered pulling the phone from his pocket.

On his Iphone Stan's name appeared as the caller. Cartman cursed. If he had called to moan about Wendy again...

"What?" He barked.

"Hay dude" Came Stan's voice, sounding horse with sadness. "Listen, Jimmy's parents are out of town so he's having a get together at his place. Kenny's making me go. You in?"

Cartman thought for a moment. On one hand he wasn't really in the mood for dealing with so-called "people" tonight, but on the other hand the thought of drowning these weird feelings with booze was very inviting.

"Meh, probably not" Cartman told him.

"Come on dude. I still feel like shit and I need all three of you around" Stan replied.

"How flattering" Cartman snorted.

After a few seconds of consideration he spoke again.

"Screw it, why not. But I don't want to hear about mega-bitch. Got it?"

Stan laughed "Understood big man"

"What time?"

"Six, come meet me and Kenny at mine at 5:30" Stan answered, his voice picking up a in mood a little as he told him.

"K, I'll see you then"

"Cool dude, see you" Stan said happily and hung up.

Despite himself, Stan's tone put a smile on Cartman's face. Not that he would ever let anyone see it.

Cartman eat his noodles and then proceeded into the living room. His mother was sat on the sofa with a blanket over her, reading her book. With time to kill Cartman sat next to her and turned the wide screen on via the remote.

"Hello muffin, nice nap?" She asked turning her attention to him.

"Yeah"

"That's nice dear"

"Kinda" He muttered.

"Why kind of?"

Cartman shifted uncomfortably in on the couch.

"Its...hard to explain" He said dully.

Sensing something of interest, she closed her book and smiled at him.

"Try me"

Cartman sighed. Well if anyone would know it would probably be her.

"Well...it's like this, there's this someone…a girl, and I really really hate her. Always have" He explained.

His mother frowned, blinked, and nodded.

"Ok….go on"

Cartman continued.

"But lately I've been seeing her...differently and it's starting to bug me, I can't explain it"

His mother tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment.

"Differently in what way muffin?"

Cartman shrugged "I don't know….physically I guess. Noticing she's hot and stuff"

Cartman immediately felt awkward and embarrassed telling her this stuff, but it she was the only one he could trust to keep it to herself.

"Would you say you still hate her?" She asked.

"Utterly" He spat.

And he meant it.

"But every time I see her I get...weird thoughts, butterflies, shooting pains in the belly, and ….other stuff happens…."

Cartman coughed in disgust after adding the last part.

A bright smile spread across his mum's face and she giggled softly.

"The hell's so funny" Cartman demanded, offended.

"Oh pumkin, its sounds like you have a little Love/Hate relationship going" She said.

"What? love/hate? What the hell does that even mean?"

"It's when you become physically or sexually attracted to someone you emotionally hate or dislike, and over time you grow to love them because you love hating them so much...does that make sense to you?".

"No it doesn't, sexually attracted? love? AH! I'd sooner stick my dick into a shark tank for a blow job" Cartman snorted angrily.

"Well that's what it seems like to me" His mother shrugged.

Cartman shook his head and looked away. He actually wasn't angry at her, he was angry at himself. There was no point in denying it anymore. He wanted Wendy Testaburger.

He knew he always did, but he had simply never accepted it. Yeah sure, he found her sexually attractive. But she was his enemy; he hated her with a burning passion. And it wasn't as if she would ever let him do anything with her. Thereby rendering her and her body utterly useless to him. Just a rival to be crushed.

So why did these urges towards her stay with him?

Cartman had often heard that people felt better when admitting something to themselves, Cartman however did not. In fact he felt more hatred. He hated Wendy for making him attracted her; he hated himself for letting himself be attracted to her. But most of all he hated Kyle; it had been him who had forced them to work together. This was all Kyle's fault.

Cartman turned back to his mother.

"Ok then miss know-it-all, how do I purge these fucked up feelings?"

"Eric! What have I said about your swearing" His mum snapped.

"Whatever mum, just tell me"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly.

"That's up to you honey. Either do something about it or stay away from her. Who is she anyway?"

"None of your business!" He hissed.

His mother stared at him for a moment before grinning knowingly.

"It's Mrs Testaburger's daughter isn't it?"

Cartman sprung from the couch like a frog from a frying pan.

"How the fuck did you know that?" He exclaimed.

Strangely, his mum didn't react to his swearing this time, she remained perfectly calm.

"I'm your Mother, I can read you like a book, and when you were arguing with her in the mall this morning, me and Mrs Testaburger concluded that the two of you had serious sexual tension" She said smirking "And both of us think she likes you too"

"Mum are you hearing yourself? This is Testaburger for god's sake. The same one that has put me in the fucking hospital four dawned times!"

"Maybe she feels the same way you do sweetie? Love/hate can be sneaky" She teased.

Cartman spun on his heels. Screw this weird crap.

After changing into his going-out clothes he grabbed his coat and headed for the front door.

"I'm going out" He muttered.

"Will Wendy be there?"

"Your sooooooo lucky you're my mother"

His mother threw back her head and roared with laughter. Cartman clenched his fists as he stormed out of the house. Mothers always had to be motherfucking comedians.

[Wendy Testaburger. her house. same time]

"Mum! Would you stop already" Wendy murmured trying her hardest to hide an embarrassed smile.

Her mother and father chuckled and giggled between themselves.

"Ahhh, my little girl has a crush on her worst enemy, so cute" Her mum giggled.

"I really really do not!" Wendy exhaled, frustrated.

Her father suddenly frowned.

"Wait, isn't that the same Eric Cartman you put in the hospital every few months?" He asked.

"Yes it is, you should have seen them go at each other at the mall. It was a sight" Her mother mused with the upmost amusement.

"Ok, whatever!" Wendy scoffed and turned away toward her bedroom.

On her way out of the living room she passed William who was trying in vain to fit a triangle into a square slot on a shapes puzzle. His light blue eyes looked up at her for a moment before turning his attention back onto his puzzle. She couldn't help but envy his simple existence.

Shutting her bedroom door behind her, she leant back against it and sighed. Life was so complicated. Why the hell would she even want to be attracted to Cartman? The boy was a complete psycho. But then again, that was probably what made him appealing to her. After all those years with Stan, someone who was always respectful and always asking for permission, always so safe, the thought of going out with someone insensitive, uncaring, greedy and lustful could actually be kind of thrilling.

She pushed herself off the door and fell face first onto her bed. None of it mattered anyway, she would never even consider going out with him anyway. He was always trying to hurt her or undermine her. And at any rate, did she really even want to go out with him? Curiosity was one thing, but to try and start a new relationship with someone who hated her and everything she stood for was another thing entirely.

A soft knock drew her eyes to the door.

"Yeah" she called, hoping it wasn't her mother.

The door opened and Bebe walked in with an apologetic smile.

"I see your mum and dad have found out about your latest suitor" She said with amusement.

"Don't you start too" Wendy grumbled.

"Well don't worry I'm here to convince you to come with me to Jimmy's house party, his folks are out of town" She explained.

Wendy rolled over on her bed and bit her lip thoughtfully.

"I don't know, I'm really not in the mood after the last few days. Plus I haven't got anything ready to wear"

"It's nothing fancy, just throw on a skirt and a top and your ready to go, I'm going like this so it's no big deal" Bebe assured her.

Wendy thought for a moment. On one hand she did want to drink, but on the other...

"Well Stan be there?" She asked quietly.

Bebe sat on the side of her bed and sighed.

"Well...yeah but….."

"No. Not going"

"Wait a minute. You don't need to worry about him. I've got someone on the inside that will keep him away and out of sight"

"I don't want too Bebe" Wendy muttered sadly.

"He won't want to talk to you anyway. He'll be there to forget about it all. You should do the same"

"Exactly! I'll just hurt him more by being there. I've done enough to him"

There was a silence. Bebe suddenly leaned towards her and smirked mischievously.

"Cartman might be there" she whispered.

Wendy frowned at her.

"You're giving me more reason not to go…."

Bebe ignored her statement and whispered.

"And I can make it for you to have him all to yourself" She told her huskily and winked.

Wendy laughed bitterly.

"Why in the hell would I want that?"

"Because….you know why" Bebe said, still grinning and crossing her arms.

"If you have something to say just say it" Wendy snapped, she was tired of Bebe's subtle hinting.

"Ok fine, I'll just say what we've both know for the last five years. I really believe that 50% of everything that has gone down between the two of you is because deep deep down your both turned on by fucking with the other's life"

Wendy's jaw dropped.

Bebe went on.

"Think about it Testaburger. If you really wanted to, you could have just ignored him all these years. He loves arguing with you. I'm 99% sure he gets aroused just by pissing you off and I think every time you retaliate, every time you give him a fight, he fucking loves it. And the louder you shout at him, the harder you hit him, the more turned on he gets. But you've always known that, you can deny it but you have always known that and you've at least half the time given him what he wants from you"

Wendy was utterly speechless. She opened her mouth to deny everything and call it horse shit. But Bebe's words had stunned into silence, and Wendy knew that was only possible if at least some of it was true.

"I…" She began, about to try and reason why that wasn't true. But she knew that would be hopeless. "Yeah so what? It's not like that's hard to figure out. It's not like he doesn't actually hate me. He really does!"

Bebe rolled her eyes.

"Of course he does, never doubted it. And that's why I think he wants you bad. He loves what he hates. Hell, one of his best friend's is his worst enemy for crying out loud"

"So what? He's never going to have me. I want nothing from him"

"Oh really?"

"Yes"

"Then way give him what he wants? Why not ignore him like I mostly do? Why give him the conflict he craves for?"

Wendy just sat there, desperately thinking of something to say. The panic she was feeling felt very real. She didn't want Bebe to go on with this. But she did.

"I'll tell you why. Because you love it too. You love the fact he's so obsessed with you. He gives you attention day in day out. Hell, you once even complained to Stan that you felt like Cartman gives you more attention that he did. And you like that attention don't you?"

"No" Wendy snapped, though it came out a bit childishly.

"Liar. I've seen you get jealous over him giving real attention to other girls"

"Ok Stevens that is total bullshit!"

Wendy felt butterflies as a victorious smirk crept up Bebe's face.

"Really? Then what was all of that shit a month ago when Jessie and Cartman slept together?"

"Jessie is…was, at the time, my friend. I was trying to protect her from him"

"Or was it because he was giving her real attention while ignoring you? He can flirt pretty well. If I recall it drove you crazy"

"He was obviously manipulating her and she was too blond and slutty to see it, that's what pissed me off. And he was ignoring me because of that huge fight we had in the Computer lab"

"So the whole dressing up and making yourself look sexy as hell was for just for Stan's benefit? Who you were mad at may I add for not spending much time with you that month"

"I just wanted to get his attention again!" Wendy shouted, her anger finally getting the better of her.

Bebe leaned back and her grin disappeared, shocked into seriousness by her best friend's outburst. She opened her mouth.

"Sor…." Bebe began, but stopped as her eyes widened at the realisation of Wendy's words.

"Stan's attention?...or Cartman's"

Wendy fell back on her bed. Feelings of sadness, loneliness, and confusion. After 20 seconds of painful thought, Wendy answered.

"Both" She whispered.

She had finally admitted it, after all these years. Not just to her best friend, but to herself. She wanted Cartman's attention. She felt an overwhelming sense of despair engulf her, and moisture began to form in her eyes.

"Your right….about everything" She whimpered, now feeling the extremely strong urge to vent "Every time I felt I was losing Stan to his friendship with Kyle, or if my brother becomes too much for me to handle, or even if school starts to kick my ass I…at least have Cartman to distract me. At the very least I have one man in my life who does notice every little thing I did. Wither it be a rally for a cause, a charity event, or if I just want to feel attractive. Cartman…..Eric…always notices, always has a smartass comment or a criticism or an insult to say about it. But he notices me, and I suppose deep down I know that's because he's actually looking at me. On bad days, Stan doesn't…didn't give me that. But that fatass always does, even if it's just because he hates me so much"

Tears ran down the side of her face and into her hair. Bebe didn't say anything, but lifted her hand and placed hit on Wendy's. Wendy continued to vent the deeply represent thoughts.

"When me and Stan fell out over Kyle a month back, I…I needed Cartman, like all the other times, to be a distraction. You probably noticed that I even went out of my way to piss him off. But after that more brutal then usual fight we had in the computer lab, he just ignored me"

She clenched her fists.

"Too busy getting that bitch Jesse into bed I guess. I just wanted his attention again, so I could argue with him, fight with him, just take out all my anger and frustration with Stan out on him. I was surprised how much seeing him with Jesse bothered me. It was confusing and weird"

Bebe said "You succeeded. He did start arguing with you again"

"Only after he was done with that slut" She muttered bitterly.

Wendy could feel those feelings of jealousy and anger at Jesse return. She needed to control herself, she needed control.

"But I was just happy he was noticing me again. It got to me how good if felt yelling at him again. When me and Stan settled things, I couldn't even figure out which made me happier. Being back on track with Stan or…..arguing with Eric. I made me feel like I was…..cheating again"

Wendy collapsed into a series of sobs. She curled up into a ball, hugging her knees while resting on her side. Bebe placed herself in front of her and enveloped her best friend in her arms. Whispering how her feelings towards Cartman was all perfectly natural and how it was all going to be ok.

Wendy lay there for a few moments, getting her breath back. She then sat up again, Bebe did the same.

"Feel better with all of that shit said out loud?"

"Yeah…thanks"

"Wasn't saying it all to be a bitch"

"I know. I needed that, to vent"

Wendy took a deep breath. She felt better, like a huge Wight had been lifted.

"So" Bebe began "You coming with me to Jimmy's?"

"Oh Christ, really Stevens?"

"Hell yeah Testaburger. You've got to hold your head up high. And talk to Cartman"

"I'm never telling him! He can never know!" Wendy exclaimed, panicked again.

"We're not telling him anything. But, after all this shit with Stan and Craig, you need three things to help you get over it and heal"

Wendy raised an eyebrow "Which are?"

"First. Your best friend…"

Bebe flicked her her arcoss her face and made a glamourus pose

"Check" She chirped playfully, Wendy grinned at her.

"Second, booze. Lots and lots of booze"

Wendy laughed lightly, it sounded good to her.

"And the third?" She asked.

Bebe's smile widened.

"Most importantly…you need a fat psychopath to distract you. Luckily, we've established that you know a guy for that"

Wendy stared at her. After ten seconds she let out a long sigh before nodding slowly, defeated.

"Ok…ok, I'll go, but not for Cartman. Just for a good time" She stated firmly.

Bebe victorious smile reappeared.

"Oh of course not"

Wendy got up and proceeded to dress herself.

"Oh and try to hurry dressing, Butters is waiting for us outside" Bebe murmured.

Wendy shook her head in mild disgust.

"You mean he's been waiting for you since you got here? That poor boy!"

"Oh don't be a drama queen"

"Always have to drag him around"

Bebe smiled mischievously.

"I know, I'm like a little girl with a new toy"

"Won't people see you with him?"

Bebe shook her head.

"We won't be that obvious"

Wendy finished dressing and looked herself in the mirror.

"Ok I'm good" she said "let's go"

"Hold on" Bebe took out her phone and began typing with skilful speed.

"Have to inform my contact"

[Kenny Mccormick. Stan's house. Same time]

Kenny watched Stan open the front door. A second later, Cartman emerged and nodded to him.

"Sup Kenny"

"Hay dude" Kenny replied.

Stan looked at them both and grinned. Happy two out of three of his lifelong friends were gathered. Tonight meant a lot to Stan. With everything that had gone down with Wendy, all Stan had wanted to do was be with Kenny, Kyle and Cartman.

All four of them were….irraplacable to the other. Though he would never likely admit it, even Cartman would seek their company if something had him angry or down. For Kenny, he didn't view Kyle Stan, and Cartman as just friends….they were his brothers. Hell he felt closer to them then he did with most of his family. At least the boys had always been present.

"I'll be one sec, need to go gel my hair" Stan said, and ran upstairs.

Cartman shook his head and scoffed.

"Seriously! who gels their hair?"

Kenny grinned at him.

"You used too" He pointed out.

"Yeah but I can do no wrong" Cartman retorted, grinning back.

Kenny chuckled and shook his head. Some things would just never change.

Suddenly his Iphone beeped, a text message. He grabbed it and opened the message. His eyes widened.

"Ahhhh shit" Kenny cursed.

"What?" Cartman asked.

"Bebe's just texted me saying that Wendy's coming too"

He spat her name out. She had hurt one of his brothers, the most sensitive one, Stan. Kenny rarely forgave such an act. Hell Kenny even didn't like it when she beat Cartman to the ground, and Cartman deserved it most of the time. None the less, Cartman was a brother.

Cartman turned to him in alarm.

"Oh god damn it, she just can't leave me alone!" Cartman yelled angrily.

Kenny tilted his head and frowned at him.

"You? But isn't Stan more of a concern?"

Cartman stepped back, looking uneasy.

"Umm yeah that's what I meant" he said quickly.

Kenny shrugged at his friend and began writing a reply text. Under his breathe Cartman muttered something about hating everything.

Kenny grinned at him.

There was always an asshole in any band of brothers.

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