"What do you say...what do you do
When it all comes down?
'Cause I don't wanna come back down from this cloud...
It's taken me all this time to find out what I need...
I don't wanna come back down from this cloud
It's taken me all this, all this, time."
~I Don't Wanna Come Back Down from This Cloud by Bush
Jacob reached into the ice chest a found the bottle of beer at the bottom. Colder was better, even if it was a little chilly on this fall afternoon. He popped the lid off with ease, using just his hand and the metal table that had been on the back porch for as long as he could remember. He didn't need a bottle opener.
"Jake, throw me one, bro!" shouted Paul. He sat around a small fire in a lounge chair. Rachel was on his lap with one arm around her waist. His free hand caught the beer with ease.
The fish fry had begun, and Nessie hadn't made it back with Charlie. Billy had extra supplies, so they began without the two of them. Jacob couldn't sit still. He drank his beer as if it were water.
"You need to sit for a minute!" Quil called out to Jacob. "Your pacing is making me nervous. She'll be back. The Chief's with her; if you ask me, she's pretty safe."
There were always two parties at the Billy's fish fry. The front yard was where all the cooking took place and where Billy manned his post. He greeted everyone who came and made sure they had what they needed. His coolers were filled with everything you could think of to drink, except for alcohol.
Since he'd been sober now for a few years, he made sure he had his part of the party alcohol-free. He and Charlie needed that. Charlie was Billy's AA sponsor after all. Billy wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for Charlie's help.
The younger crowd from the rez would set up at the back of the house. They filled their coolers with beer, beer, and more beer. Billy knew they needed their fun, but he didn't want it around him, so he always sent them to the back. The young ones would eventually mingle with the older ones once the food was ready. Billy was known around the rez for his fish, and everyone came out in full force.
"I hear you're looking for a new job?" Embry asked, directing his question towards Quil.
"Yeah, I am. I think I've got one, too. Dowling's garage is calling me soon to let me know," Quil answered. Claire sat beside him and had become a constant companion of his. She held her bottle of water in one hand and his hand in the other.
"When did this happen?" Jacob asked, having not heard Quil's recent change in career plans.
"Since you went and got your ass fired for breaking in the break room, if you know what I mean," Quil joked, elbowing Embry as he spoke.
"He's gotta find a new job before Sam does the same thing to him for hooking up with Claire," Embry called out to Jacob.
"Hooking up? What am I? A one night stand? I like to think that Quil and I are in a relationship, Embry Call. At least Quil has a girlfriend. You just have your hand," Claire shot back, obviously perturbed at his remark about her "hooking up" with Quil.
The guys stifled their laughter as much as possible, laughing at Embry for getting yelled at by Claire. She was a pistol, and they all knew it. She was the type of girl whom Quil needed.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Jacob said, taking a swig of his beer while tapping his nervous fingers on the porch railing he leaned against.
"Well, I would have, but you managed to disappear last night when I planned on telling you." Quil winked, knowing the can of worms he just opened.
"Yeah, bro. Where were you? I seem to remember Nessie never made it to the beach either?" Paul chimed in. Jacob noted the huge smirk that Paul had on his face. They all knew where Nessie and he had gone, and they were going to give him hell for it.
"It's none of your business, and I suggest that you keep your mouths shut when Ness gets back, if you know what's good for you," he warned. He knew the berating would begin for him taking off with Nessie last night. He just hoped they wouldn't do it in front of her.
"all right, Jake. I just might have to take a few jabs at Nessie when she gets back. I'd like to see how many shades of pink she can turn," Quil said, trying to push Jacob's buttons. It worked.
Jacob slowly set down his beer, and walked over to his smart-ass friend. Quil braced himself for Jacob's wrath. No one threatened to mess with his girl, even if it were his best friend making the comments. He took Quil by the collar and was about to take him to the open part of the yard to beat his ass when he heard the voice of someone he hadn't heard in a long time.
"I see the two of you still haven't given up on beating up each other," she said.
Everyone around the fire hushed themselves at the same time, amazed at her nerve to show up here today.
"Reyan?" Paul said first. "Holy shit!" he said. "This isn't going to be good," he mumbled under his breath.
Jacob lowered the arm he was about to pummel Quil with and looked at the black-haired girl who dared to join the party.
"Hey, guys...hey, Jake," she said coyly. "I just happened to be back in town and thought I'd come by and say hi to everyone."
"You didn't care enough to say goodbye to any of us the last time you left, so why would we care if you say hello now?" Jared chimed in.
Claire watched the entire group of men glare at this girl who had apparently shown up unannounced. There was obviously no love lost between the guys and this girl.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, directing her comment toward Jacob.
"Not really. Don't think I have to," he said coldly. He released Quil with a push and turned his back to the long-legged Reyan. He walked back to the porch to find his beer. He really didn't need any old girlfriends making appearances today, especially her.
She followed, trying to talk to him. "I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but you could at least offer me a beer," she said.
Jacob kicked open the lid of the cooler with his foot.
"Here. Grab one." She reached down and took a bottle realizing this would be the most courtesy she would get from him.
"My mom insisted that I come with her today. I don't want to start anything. I figured I could at least apologize for leaving the way I did," she said, trying to make amends.
"A phone call last year would have been nice," Quil bellowed to the direction of the porch. Jacob shot him a shut-the-hell-up look. It didn't take Quil long to realize that he better shut his trap.
"Look, Reyan, I don't really care about it. It was a long time ago, and I'm over it. Honestly, I'm fine. Just don't expect me to be nice to you. I may be over you, but I am not going to be calling you a friend any time soon, okay?"
Reyan had been Jacob's girlfriend before Nessie. They had grown up together and had naturally started seeing one another after graduation. She was the beauty and he was the brawn. Everyone thought they were the perfect La Push couple, but looks were deceiving. They didn't have that much in common and always fought. The one thing they did have was sexual chemistry. They were a horrible couple, but the sex was good—it was the only reason they stayed together for as long as they did.
Her leaving the rez abruptly, without even saying goodbye, made Jacob realize he didn't really love her. She satisfied a need for a while, but even then, he knew he needed more out of a relationship.
Reyan bent down to get a beer, making a few of the guys stare at her as she did. She knew what her tight jeans did to the opposite sex, and she seemed to bask in the attention.
Jacob looked away from her, wishing she had not come. He no longer had feelings for her, and her presence here today would only cause trouble. He had Nessie to worry about. He didn't need an ex girlfriend here at his house dredging up memories that he really didn't want to think about.
"You look good," Reyan said as she got uncomfortably close to Jacob by the porch railing. She touched his forearm and let her fingers linger there a little too long for his liking. He pulled his arm away looking away from the girl who obviously was trying to come on to him. He hoped she realized that her old tricks weren't going to work on him anymore.
He heard Paul clear his throat.
"Jake," Paul called out, getting his attention. Jacob glanced Paul's way and saw Nessie approaching. He jerked his body away from Reyan's unwelcomed closeness, but the look he got from Nessie led him to believe she saw everything.
Jacob left Reyan's side without any acknowledgment of her and made his way to Nessie.
"Hey, babe," he said when he got close to her.
"Hey," she responded, still eying the girl by the porch. Nessie got a look from Reyan that would strike her dead if the old saying "if looks could kill" were true, but Nessie shot a similar look back to the girl who dared to touch her boyfriend. She imagined the girl falling over on the ground convulsing a bit before she succumbed to the slow and painful death Nessie's look inflicted.
"Who's that?" she asked Jacob.
"Reyan. She's an old...girlfriend. She's uninvited, Ness. I tried to ignore-" Nessie cut him off before he could finish.
"I trust you," she whispered. "I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She placed her hand on his chest. "But I can still hate her, can't I?" she asked, making Jacob smile.
"Of course. You can join me in hating her," he said, taking her hand in his. They both walked towards the back porch.
"Can we go inside? I really need to talk to you," Nessie requested.
"Sure, sure. We can go to my room...more privacy there," he said, pulling her up the porch steps, not realizing they were within earshot of Reyan.
"Bedroom, huh? He always was insatiable. I should know," Reyan added, trying to make Nessie a little jealous of her past with Jacob.
Jacob squeezed Nessie's hand and said, "Just ignore her."
But Nessie couldn't. Whomever this girl was, she wasn't going to allow her to show up and make flippant comments about her Jacob. Besides that, Nessie had just found out about the skeletons in her family's closet and really wasn't in the mood to put up with some girls' ludicrous jealousy.
"Yeah, I know he is...lucky for him, I like to fuck," Nessie said to Reyan as if she were talking about the weather.
The entire pack burst into laughter and watched Reyan's face respond to being put in her place by sweet Ness.
Jacob pulled her through the back door into the laundry room and hurriedly shut the door.
"Did you just say the F word?" he asked, not believing what he had just heard.
Nessie covered her mouth and acted a little embarrassed.
"Oh, my God! I think I just did. What just came over me?" she asked, surprised at herself.
Jacob pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.
"Possessive Ness. I like it," he said proudly, too turned on by her to think straight.
"You know I'm not usually like that, but she made me so mad. I can't have her talking about you like that...you're mine, not hers. She needs to know that," Nessie explained.
"Baby, you don't have to justify yourself. I personally thought it was great, and the guys won't forget it, either. They don't like Reyan that much." The guys had remembered how her leaving affected their buddy and pretty much had added her name to their list of people to hate.
Nessie molded into his body and suddenly felt his warmth, which comforted the weariness that had enveloped her. Learning about her family's past had completely drained her body of any energy, and she felt exhausted. Realizing that her life was almost cut short at it earliest stage sent her body into a mild shock, and knowing about her father's initial reaction to her mom's pregnancy only made her feel worse.
The only thing keeping her from falling to pieces was the man holding her in his arms at that moment. She gripped his shirt with her fingers not wanting to let him go, and she quietly began to let out how she felt on the inside. She didn't sob or cry uncontrollably, but the tears flowed without ceasing. Jacob's shirt became damp, and she felt his large hand caress her hair.
Jacob tightened his embrace, feeling her tears. He hated to see her cry or watch her hurting. What he wouldn't give to punch whomever made her feel this way. Truth be told, he would love to punch Edward squarely in the jaw. He knew that her father had caused this to happen.
"Come on. Let's go to my room," he said. There was no hidden agenda in his statement. He didn't feel the need to get her in his bed again for any other reason than just to hold her. He lifted her up his body and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, and he took her to his room. This time he wouldn't be making love to her; he would just keep her close to him, wanting to take care of her.
And she knew that he would.
~o~O~o~
"Wow," was all Jacob could say. Words were not forming after hearing her story. He laid on his bed with her at his side; their legs intertwined. He ran his hand up and down the arm that laid on his chest. Her head rested where she could hear his heart beating. The soothing, rhythmic sound grounded her. She knew that as long as he held her, she would be okay.
She closed her eyes and realized that she had stopped crying. She didn't know when that had happened. Nessie told Jacob everything she had learned from Charlie. She mentioned how her father acted and how it affected her mother.
Nessie didn't resent her mother as much as she had before her talk with Charlie. She now knew her mom's drinking was caused by so many more factors than what Nessie had always believed. She just thought her mom didn't care enough about her to stop. Nessie now realized that Bella drank to ease the pain caused by losing a father and trying to fit into a world that was foreign to her. How out of place her mother must have been being forced into the Cullen lifestyle. They didn't exactly blend in well with the common people.
Her mom's only escape was drinking. Bella had no one to depend on who could understand her situation and what she had endured at the hand of the man who said he loved her. Her only support group had been completely shut out. The gin and tonics became a welcomed friend to Bella, but Nessie remembered that her mother wasn't always drunk. It must have started slowly.
Knowing that alcoholism ran in the family made her accept her mother's fate a little better; however, it didn't make her hate what her mother had become any less. It no longer surprised her that Bella had succumbed to the alcohol's power.
"I think you need to talk to your dad. Get it all out in the open and get help for your mom. I can't understand how he could allow her get so bad," Jacob said.
"I will. I just haven't figured out how I'm going to do it. It's not easy talking to a man that only has a one-track mind. He only cares for things to be his way. I just hope that his love for my mother will trump his need to keep her home and hidden away from the glaring public. He worries too much about what people think." She felt Jacob's hand rest on her hip. His touch there sent a tiny spark on her skin, which caused her heart rate to increase. She pulled herself closer to him, making sure there wasn't any space between them.
"I am sure, um, you'll be able to talk, ah, some sense into him," Jacob struggled to talk. He felt her body move closer to his and his mind turned off. He realized he began thinking with the lower half of his body and cursed at himself for not being stronger. She needed him to hold her and comfort her, not constantly thinking about getting her naked. His hand started to knead her sweater at the smooth curve of her hip.
Nessie couldn't help the way that she felt when she was around Jacob. Not but a few moments ago, she was telling him about her heartache and her family problems. Now all she could think about were his hands being on her, but then her insecurity took over and made her mind wander to the beautiful girl that Jacob had once called his girlfriend.
"She's beautiful," whispered Nessie.
"Who?" Jacob asked. His mind had long forgotten Reyan, and being with Nessie was all he cared about.
"Reyan. Is she Quileute?"
"She is. I wouldn't call her beautiful. Next to you, she's downright ugly," he replied. His hand rounded to her rear end, cupping it. His breathing increased from just touching her. The way she felt under his hand did this to him every time.
There was a pull they shared that he couldn't explain. The gentle tug he experienced when he was with her now felt like a giant push towards her body. He craved her and desired her unlike any other he had been with. Her insecurity was a mystery to him. How could she not see how desirable she was to him? Hell, the looks she got from the male population didn't go unnoticed by him. He usually glared at anyone who dared to look her way for more than two seconds.
"Does it bother you that I'm not...a Quileute?" She never worried about that fact before today. Seeing the gorgeous Quileute girl that Jacob had been with started sending a few doubts in her mind about where she fit into his world.
Dark eyes. Those were the only thing she and Reyan had in common; almost everything else about her was a complete opposite from Nessie. The difference in their hair, skin, and shape caused her to feel less than desirable to Jacob, a trait she wished would go away. Nessie was tall but not model-tall like Reyan. Her skin almost matched Jacob's, which was a sure sign of their shared heritage. No matter how long Nessie stayed in the sun, her skin would never tan. It would actually burn to a crisp without protection. Nessie did have her beat in the curves department, but Reyan had that annoying perfection thing going on that made Nessie wonder why Jacob could ever love someone so different.
"Are you seriously worried about her?" he asked, taking his body and rolling on top of her. Her legs naturally opened, welcoming him between them. She grasped his hair and found his smoldering eyes on hers. "I don't care that you're not Quileute. Do you care that I am?" he asked turning the tables on her.
"No."
"Then I don't know what you're worried about. Do you not remember what I told you the first day we met?"
Of course she did. She would never forget and would always remember the way he took care of her in her time of need and then professed to her that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
"I do. I forget that sometimes," she confessed.
"Don't forget it. You are more than just beautiful. Do you not know what you do to me?" he spoke softly but forcefully. His head bent down to her ear, nipping at it. Tingles were all she felt when he did.
"Touch me, Ness. I want you to feel me," he demanded.
"I am touching you," she said innocently, not knowing what he meant.
"No, touch me. I want to show you what you do to me." He watched how her eyes suddenly realized where he wanted to feel her touch. Without hesitation, her hands unclasped from his hair and ghosted down his back. Once she reached his hips, she stopped waiting for his instructions and unsure of what to do next.
"Unbutton my jeans. I need you to feel me." She quickly sucked in some air because she really did forget to breathe when he spoke to her this way. She didn't mind being told what to do by him. The way he almost growled the orders made her arousal heighten even more.
Her fingers did as he had instructed, and she took the initiative to undo the remaining buttons. She paused again, waiting. What started out as a simple request had turned into a little game.
"Now feel me. Take me in your hand."
She pushed her hands below the waistband of his boxers and found him hard and ready for her. He felt so smooth and warm. She remembered how this part of him felt inside her, and she let out a slight whimper, becoming overwhelmed with the images of last night and the way he had made her feel.
He had to take a deep breath because her touch made him lose focus of what he was doing. He wanted to succumb to the softness of her fingers on his body. He almost forgot the reason behind him commanding her to touch him.
"Do you feel how hard I am?" he whispered, and he heard her cry out a soft yes.
"The way you look at me causes this to happen. You merely grazing my skin with your fingers does this to me. Anticipating your scent, your touch, your taste makes me hard. It makes me want you all the time...now, move your hand over me."
He groaned when she did as he asked. A primal part of him had taken over. He needed her to know that he loved her and wanted no one else. He didn't know any other way than to show her. Words would be insufficient. They would be empty and meaningless. But letting her see and feel how he felt about her made sense to him.
"No one else can cause me to feel this way. From the first day I saw you, it was over for me. Don't ever think anyone could ever compare to the way I feel about you." He hoped showing her how he loved her would make her forget about Reyan all together.
Without speaking, Jacob lifted himself slightly from her body, but she continued to slowly stoke him up and down. He found the button of her jeans and proceeded to undo it, almost popping it off in the process.
"How do I make you feel?" he whispered in her ear. Her hips arched upwards and greeted his hand as it slipped down under the denim. How could she even put into words how he made her feel? She loved him more than she knew was possible.
In the tight space between her lacy panties and her jeans, he maneuvered his hand enough to find its destination. She hummed a moan, and he let her cry be her answer for him. His hand found the spot it had been searching for and felt how her arousal had already dampened her panties. She couldn't fathom how he could affect her in this way, and she didn't try to figure it out. She loved how she automatically reacted to him. Her body was his, and she would let him do whatever he wanted to her.
"Mmm. You're already so wet for me," his low voice growled. Nessie shivered, realizing he had never spoken to her in this way. She liked it.
"Yes," she whispered, already writhing under his fingers. Her pace with him had increased from the excitement shooting through her body from his touch. His gentle hand moved the lace to the side and started caressing her. His eyes moved to hers when he heard her cry out. He knew that it wasn't a cry of pleasure. His hand stopped moving over her. He suddenly remembered something she had told him this morning.
"We need to stop, Ness." He wasn't going to continue, remembering their conversation. He needed to give her body time to recover from being with him last night. He didn't like that he had caused her this pain, and he certainly wasn't going to bring about any more.
Thrown off by his new request, she proclaimed, "Why? I don't want to stop. I'll be fine."
She didn't want to quit because the way he throbbed in her hand turned her on. She even began moving her hips, matching her strokes and had received a little pleasure from doing so. Her reaction to his touch was mixed. Yes, it hurt, but it wouldn't keep her from bringing him gratification. She knew the pain would subside and the pleasure would take over.
"We need to." He rubbed his thumb over her cheek. "We can't. Your body's not ready yet."
"Then let me help you," she begged, trying to move her hand up and down his length. He placed his hand on hers, making her stop. She became frustrated at him for not letting her touch him and help him find release that he obviously needed.
"I want to wait for you. Don't worry about me." At least that's what he told himself anyway. His statement would be easier said than done. He ran his nose along her jaw line and grasped the sides of her face in his hands. His thumb rubbed her cheek again. She closed her eyes, soaking in his gentle touches. He made her mad sometimes, but she had come to discover that most of the time he had her best interest at heart.
He settled himself between her legs. She felt the hardness pressing against her. Damn soreness! she thought as she felt the pain she had tried to ignore for most of the day. She bit her lip unknowingly and found his gaze upon her.
"You are so sexy when you bite your lip," he said. His tongue licked his lips, and her heart nearly leapt out of her chest.
"You are just sexy. Period." She lifted the corner of her mouth to a smirk.
Her arms wrapped around his back and she placed her lips between her teeth again, wishing it were his lips she was biting. Watching her play with her mouth made him unable to control himself. He needed to stop anything that might make him do something that would escalate this situation again, but she was irresistible. His lips were on hers, nipping and sucking.
She returned the passionate kiss pulling his head closer to hers. He tasted so good, and her tongue reveled in his sweet flavor.
They came up for air when they heard laughter from the party outside of his window.
"We better get out there before they start wondering about us," she said.
"Fuck," he groaned in displeasure, knowing she was right.
"You know, I grew up learning that that word was the worst word you could ever say."
His eyebrows rose at her comment.
"But the way you say makes me think it's the sexiest word in the world," she said smiling.
"Well, you saying itearlier made me want to take you inside and actually fuck you right there in the laundry room," he added.
"I want to try that soon."
"You mean making love in the laundry room?"
"No, Jacob...you...fucking me."
He involuntarily choked up a cough and knew he was the luckiest guy in the world.
~o~O~o~
"Okay, smile," Claire said, pointing the camera at Nessie and Jacob. "Say cheese!"
Nessie, who was sitting in Jacob's lap, had her arms wrapped around his neck. She titled her head towards his and looked at him. He was smiling at Claire, and Nessie heard the click of the camera.
"Wait! I wasn't looking at you," Nessie exclaimed to Claire.
Claire looked at the camera, studying the picture she just took.
"Nope. This one is perfect. I like that you aren't looking at the camera. It really captures the stupid look you give Jacob all the time," she teased. "I'll get it developed for you. I need to take one of Jacob without his shirt on for you, too. I'll make that one poster-size, and you can hang it over your bed."
"I don't see anything wrong with that," Ness responded.
"I'm not taking my shirt off for anyone but you, babe. The camera thing, well, we'll discuss that later," he said in his sexy voice only where she could hear. He bent his head and pushed her sweater down a bit and placed a kiss her on her bare shoulder. Chills traveled down her arm.
Claire snuck off in search of Quil in the dimming light of dusk. Nessie watched Claire's face when she spotted him. Nessie couldn't be happier for her friend and hoped soon that they would get to catch up with each other. There had been so many new changes in her life that she wanted to share with her best girl friend.
She sipped her Coke and listened to Seth play his guitar for everyone around the campfire. She nuzzled close to Jacob who had his hand lazily laying in her lap. Nessie observed her new group of friends. It hadn't been that long ago that she had met all of them, and now this group of people felt like old friends to her. She knew this was where she belonged.
"Holy shit! Anyone know who drives a sweet Mercedes?" Embry called out as he strode in from the front yard, chewing on his umpteenth helping of fish.
All eyes turned to Nessie, who realized that it probably was someone she knew. "Is it black with darkly tinted windows?" she asked Embry.
"Yep. I'm pretty sure the man and woman getting out belong to you, too. They're talking to Billy right now."
"Who's here?" Jacob asked Nessie. She stood up quickly starting to worry about what they were doing here.
"My Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. I am not sure why either," she said making her way to the front. Jacob followed closely behind her.
"Jaz?" Nessie called out when the two of her relatives came into view. She noted a look of concern on their faces. "Alice, what's wrong?"
Her uncle shook Billy's hand and excused himself. "I'm sorry to interrupt your party, Nessie, but your father said we could probably find you here."
"Dad sent you?" The reasons why her father would send Alice and Jasper out to La Push to get her confused her. It even frightened her.
"You didn't answer your phone or texts, so we had no other choice," Jasper said apologetically.
Nessie looked between Alice and Jasper curious as to what would bring them here.
"Something's wrong...just tell me," she begged Jasper.
"It's your mom..."
And Nessie's heart sank.