A/N: Starting from when Nessie was bitten and ending with Chiyo biting her. All what Nessie was feeling. RRRREEEVVVIIIEEEWWW!
Nessie's POV
The pain was bewildering. I couldn't understand anything, couldn't make sense of what was happening.
My body tried to reject the pain, and I was sucked again and again into a blackness that cut out whole minutes of the agony, making it that much harder to keep up with reality.
I tried desperately to separate them to no avail.
Non-reality was black, and it didn't hurt so much.
Reality was red, and it felt like I was being sawed in half, but by a buss, punched by a prize fighter, trampled by bulls, and submerged in acid, all at the same time.
Reality was feeling my body twist and flip when I couldn't possibly move because of the pain radiating through me.
Reality was knowing there was something so much more important that all this torture, and not being able to remember what it was.
Reality had come on so fast.
One moment, everything was as it should have been. Surrounded by people I loved. Smiles. Somehow, unlikely as it was, it seemed like I was getting everything I wanted.
And then one tiny, inconsequential thing had gone wrong.
I'd turned my back against the vampire waiting for his opportunity to strike and kill me. I knew the stupidity behind it but I still moved, pivoting to help Jacob…
Ripping. Breaking. Agony.
The darkness had taken over, but was washed away to a wave of torture. I couldn't breath. It was hot in my throat. My legs fell like empty rubber hoses for a moment, and they felt like nothing at all. I crashed to the floor. I couldn't feel my legs…my arms…I couldn't feel me.
The blackness rushed over my eyes like a thick blindfold, firm and fast. Covering not just my eyes but also my self with a crushing weight. It was exhausting to push against it. I knew it would be so much easier to give in. To let the blackness push me down, down, down to a place where there was no pain and no weariness; no worries and no fear.
If it had only been for myself, I wouldn't have been able to struggle very long. But this wasn't just about me.
"Nessie? Sweetheart, can you hear me? Nessie, please baby!" Jacob whaled in agony. His voice was clear through the foggy black nothingness.
Jacob. Jacob. My whole existence revolved around him. We were twisted into a single strand. You cut one; you cut the other. If he were gone, I couldn't go on with life. If I were gone, he couldn't live without me either.
So I kept pushing against the black almost upon reflex. I wasn't trying to lift it; just resist it. Not allowing it to crush me completely. I wasn't Atlas, and the blackness felt like a planet; I couldn't shoulder it. All I could do was not be entirely obliterated.
But I knew my own strength. I knew I could endure this. I knew Jacob would be doing everything he could. He would not give up. Neither would I.
I held the blackness of nonexistence at bay by inches. But I was slipping. I need something to hold on to.
I felt warm arms around me, stroking my cheek, holding me upright. As soon as I pushed hard enough on the blackness, it cracked and I came to; hurling blood and coughing on air.
Jacob held me up as I spewed blood all over him. He didn't seem to mind though.
I drifted in and out of consciousness. I struggled harder and harder. All I could hear were voices after a long minute. I paid close attention to the voices though.
Jacob was yelling at…Lonni. In my mind, I sighed. Typical.
"Don't fight." I manage to whisper miserably but coughed on the words. Jacob looked down at me. I tried remembering the look of his face but I couldn't find the right image. I had a million stored away in my mind.
Should I hold on to the image of Jacob in which he's smiling or laughing? The ones were he's shy and innocent looking? Or what about the pictures of my love while he's content to just hold me and be romantic? I couldn't chose.
"We're not." Jacob's velvet voice cooed to me and the perfect picture came to mind.
I envisioned Jacob the night I'd fallen asleep on him while at Isle Esme. It was just after my feelings for him had changed. We'd gone out to the beach for a swim and wound up staying outside until well after twilight fell. We laid down on a blanket on the beach and intertwined out bodies instinctually for the weather had grown cold. The electric current kept me up long past my typical sleep time.
So, every time I drifted out of consciousness and the blackness threatened me once more I though of my Jacob. My Jacob, sleeping in my arms.
But my image of Jacob shattered as his arms were no longer wrapped around me. The arms holding me were cold and hard and I could hear my parents voices next to my ears.
I heard other voices all around me; all yelling and howling. I heard a whistle and Rosalie's voice yell harshly at my family. I chuckled then coughed. Everything fell silent.
Jacob's head suddenly fell to my chest and the need to fight against the blackness overpowered my body. I was so exhausted but I fought harder and harder until I was able to reach out and ruffle Jake's hair weakly.
I felt my heart beats slow and grow shallower in my chest and my breathing was so labored already I couldn't imagine it getting worse. But it did.
I was hearing voices but was unable to understand the things they were saying. I was seeing faces but spots everywhere else I looked.
I saw my family…Jacob…Lonni…and a small girl standing at the edge of the clearing. Her face grew closer to mine and she whispered to me. It took me far too long to comprehend her words but when I did I knew what was happening.
"Hi, Chiyo. I'm Renesmee." I whispered in return and prepared myself for the agony to end. Chiyo leaned her head close to mine and her lips touched my neck.
The warmth beside Jacob's arms around me became more and more real, warmer and warmer. Hotter. The heat was so real it was hard to believe that I was imagining it.
Hotter
Uncomfortable now. Too hot. Much, much too hot.
Like grabbing the wrong end of a curling iron- my automatic response was to drop the scorching thing in my arms. But there was nothing in my arms. My arms weren't curled to my chest. My arms were dead things laying somewhere beside me. The heat was inside me.
The burning grew- rose and peaked, rose again until it surpassed anything I'd ever felt.
I felt the pulse behind the fire raging now in my chest and I realized that I'd found the cause of the heat again, just in time to wish I never had. To wish that I'd embraced the blackness while I'd still had the chance. I wanted to raise my arms and claw my throat open- anything to get rid of this torture. But I couldn't feel my arms, I couldn't move one vanished finger.
The fire blazed hotter and I wanted to scream. To beg for someone to kill me now, before I lived one more second in this pain. But I couldn't move my lips. The weight was still there, pressing down on me.
I realized it wasn't the darkness holding me down; it was my body. So heavy. Burying me in the flames that were chewing their way out from throat now, spreading with impossible pain through my shoulders and head, scalding their way up my head and licking my face.
Suddenly, all I wanted was to die. To have never been born. The whole of my existence did not outweigh this pain. Wasn't worth living through it for one more heartbeat.
Let me die, let me die, let me die!
And, for a never-ending space, that was all there was. Just the fiery torture, and my soundless shrieks, pleading for death to come. Nothing else, not even time. So that made it infinite, with no beginning and no end. One infinite moment of pain.
The only change came when suddenly, impossibly, my pain was doubled. The lower half of my body, deadened, was suddenly on fire, too. Some broken connection had been healed- knitted together by the scorching fingers of the flame.
The endless burn raged on.