A/N Some may say I'm teasing them here. I'm really not, I needed to get some things in, and this seemed like a good place, with dinner coming up. Please let me know how you like the story and I don't own these characters, They're a monkey (evil, from the Laboratories of one, AFF) on my back.

Chapter 21 Leonard's Insecurity.

Leonard had finished his report. He was grateful that the work on the paper took his mind away from the conversations with Penny. They should like it. I've outlined a way for them to change the strength and length of the pulses while the experiment is running. That will let them measure some rather minute reactions. He was finishing up adding a few names from Caltech when he saw the name S Hawking on the addressee list. He clicked on the name, and was stunned when it turned out that it was going to Cambridge. So it was going to THE S Hawking, cool

He heard his phone's message tone, and when he looked saw:

Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes, come on over. xoxoxoxo

He hit send and closed his computer, heading over to Penny's. Walking in, he saw Penny pouring two glasses of wine, salads on the table. He walked over to Penny wrapped his arms around her and kissed that spot on her neck. He felt her shudder and heard her say, "Stop that, unless you want burned bread and overcooked spaghetti."

Leonard smiled and released her. She turned and kissed him quickly.

They sat and started eating their salads. After a few minutes, they heard a tone and Penny got up and checked on the bread, pulled it out and brought it to the table. Then went back and brought the sauce and noodles.

They ate in silence for a while, until Penny said, "Leonard, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," said Leonard. "But, I reserve the right to call my lawyer."

Penny smiled, but said, "Seriously, I have to ask you something about how you felt, can I?"

Leonard looked at her, "What's bringing this on?"

"I'm trying to understand those things you asked about, and I thought maybe you explaining your feelings would help me figure it out."

He nodded.

"When you got jealous over Cole, what made you feel that way?" Penny asked.

Leonard look thoughtful for a minute, "I guess it all goes back to how all those guys hit on you. You'd sit there and smile, looking happy about it, while I was standing next to you. I was always afraid that you were going to run off to someone who was better looking, taller, stronger or knew things about music and famous people. Then, you had that project to work on together, and you started texting him. I don't think that was the problem, it was you not telling me about it. I didn't want to tell you that you couldn't work with him or text him, but your not telling me right away, I had to kinda pull it out of you, made me nervous."

Penny nodded, remembering her feelings when she found out Leonard hadn't told her how Alex had asked him out.

"Before that, there was always this thought in the back of my mind, where you were with me, just as a 'well, I don't have any other options, FOR NOW' type thing."

"Oh my god," Penny gasped. "Why would you feel that way? I would never do that."

Leonard looked sad, "You wouldn't clarify what we were, or where we were as a couple. You wouldn't tell me you loved me, so I just didn't know where we really stood. Since you wouldn't tell me or clarify, I was almost always afraid of you leaving me. And I guess all that is where that feeling came from."

Penny hung her head, knowing her actions had caused those feelings, "Thank you sweetie, that helps. There are similar things recently, from my point of view, and I understand why you felt that way. And, I now see why your actions were what they were. I want you to know I'm sorry for causing those bad feelings, which made you do what you did."

"Don't worry about it now," Leonard said. "We have, and are, working though it now. You want to help with the dishes?"

Penny nodded and started clearing the dishes off the table. Leonard washed the dishes and Penny dried and put them away. Leonard was waiting for her to finish. After putting away the last dish, Penny came over to Leonard and gave him a big hug. After a minute, Leonard pulled back and kissed Penny saying, "Thanks for dinner, honey."

"My pleasure," said Penny. "Can I ask a favor of you?"

"Of course you can, what do you need," said Leonard.

"Can I be by myself tonight?" Penny asked plaintively.

"Of course, but why?" Leonard asked.

"I've still got a lot to think about," Penny said. "If you're here, I'll be too distracted. I just want to be sure I have good explanations for you on Tuesday, OK?"

"Sure, sure," Leonard said. "We can do this. I'm just thankful that you're so willing to talk about this. I was afraid that you would shut down."

"I'm still not all that comfortable or happy with talking this much," Penny confessed. "But, with everything you done for me over the last six years, I think it's the least I can do."

"OK, then," Leonard chirped as he got up from the couch, "Walk me to the door, kiss me goodnight and I'll see you sometime late tomorrow."

"We're not talking about this until Tuesday, remember."

"Well I know," smiled Leonard, "I still at least want to see you tomorrow night, after you get off work."

"But it will be so late and you have to work the next morning," Penny begged.

"I don't care, if I don't do it then, I won't see you at all tomorrow. Although I guess I could stop by in the morning."

Penny smiled, "Of course." She gave him a quick kiss and pulled him toward the door. At the door, she turned into his arms, starting a passionate kiss."

The broke and Leonard said, "Good night sweetie, I love you."

Penny kissed him again, "I love you, too. Good night, and we'll see you tomorrow." Leonard was the one that now kissed Penny, broke the kiss and opened the door. He walked over to his apartment, turned and waved to Penny, closing his door.

Penny waved back to Leonard, closing her door. She walked to her kitchen and poured a glass of wine and sat at her table, looking over the city, watching the sun set and the sky darken, and the lights of Pasadena coming on. The entire time thinking about her actions and thoughts for almost the last year. She also planned out her talk to Bernadette. Penny smiled, thinking that Bernadette might have a surprise or two in store. It was after midnight by the time Penny headed off to bed.

After closing his door, Leonard went to his computer and looked at the report he sent out. something was bothering him. He now realized that he didn't know anyone on the list, personally, except he had met Hawking when he visited Caltech. Howard has introduced them. All his other reports had gone to groups that had, at least, one member that he knew. He began wondering if Hawking had given his name to the group.

He turned on his PS3 and played some Grand Theft Auto, he was trying to keep his mind off of the talks with Penny. Sheldon was still out with Amy, he hadn't seen him since the stairs that morning. They must have gone somewhere besides the train store. He shut the game off and walked to his room. He got ready for bed and laid down and started reading. The problem was he kept thinking of what was coming from Penny. He had been reading for about an hour when he heard the voices of Amy and Sheldon. 9:30 PM, wow, Sheldon's getting adventurous. He planned on reading for another hour, but around 10, he realized his eyes were closing. He turned off the lamp, rolled over and was asleep almost instantly.

Penny slowly awoke, stretched and pull her covers tight around her. She loved mornings when she was working the dinner shift, as she could sleep in as late as noon. Except for not having Leonard in the bed with her, this was the best way to wake up, slowly.

She looked at her clock and saw it was just after ten. Leonard had snuck in and gave her a goodbye kiss just after eight. He had also been a dear and turned her coffee maker on. She still didn't have one that had a timer on it, but Leonard would always turn it on for her, if he stopped by in the morning. This way, she wouldn't have to wait for her coffee.

She finally got out of the bed, put her robe on and walked into the kitchen. She poured a cup of coffee, thanking Leonard in her mind for it being ready, and sat down at her table, again looking over the city. At least this morning, everything was much clearer in her mind. The talk with Bernadette was to clear up those other things.

She had three cups of coffee, again thinking over her plan to talk to Bernie, and how to build that into something for Leonard. She finally got up, shut the coffee off and walked into her bedroom to get her shower and get ready for work. She really didn't want to put her uniform on this early, but she needed to be ready for work. She was sure her talk with Bernadette would run over four, when she was supposed to start work.

She left the apartment, and drove to her restaurant. Her boss was surprised to see her, so she explained she needed talk to a friend about a problem, and wanted to get done before her shift. He thought it was the friend who had the problem, so he told her to take her time and if she didn't get done right when she was supposed to work, to let him know.

Penny waved as Bernadette walked into the restaurant. Bernadette came over, gave Penny a hug and sat down, concern on her face, "What's going on Penny?"