Chapter twenty one :D
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
It's easy to break someone's heart but a heart isn't as easy to mend. It takes months to build a building because you have to make sure it's safe and secure and then you cover it with something that makes it look like more than a collection of metal and stone. And then what? We can get a demolition crew in and it takes them nothing less than a push of a button and all the mainframe and infrastructure crumbles. All that time and money is gone in seconds. And then you have the cleanup. Someone has to come in and clean it all up; making sure it's ready for the next building to take its place. Love can be a lot like building. You need a foundation to make sure it's steady. Then you add the bricks or the metal beams to make it secure.
And then you add the roof to make sure it's covered. After that you make it something nice, you make it something beautiful that people want to look at and something you can feel good about. And your buildings change with age. When you're a kid they're lego but as you grow you realise how much harder it is than simply sticking a few bricks with nodules in together. Your love was the demolition button that sent our house of security to the ground and shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. I'm still working on the clean up and I wonder how that feels to you because I know I haven't let you see how bare I am, Sophie. It's like standing on a plug socket but ten times worse and straight through my heart. I still hurt but I'll never admit it because to admit it is to make it a reality and my reality is no longer you. I want to move on and settle down with someone I know won't break me like this again. I see the look in your eyes when you watch me and it's the same as it was back then. You've really grown up.
If possible you've got more mature and filled out in all the right places. I know that little kid still lives in you though. I see it when you look at Jack as well as your pure love for him. It didn't matter that he wasn't all blood relation because your heart is so big and full of love. Perhaps that was the issue. Five years, Sophie and you still look at me like you love me. Five years and I don't want to look at you at all but god damn, it's hard.
The room was an absolute state. Sophie's trousers and shirt were thrown into a pile on the dresser, having knocked over several perfume bottles and nearly toppling the lamp. Sian's jeans were hanging out from the bottom of the covers at the bottom of the bed while her leather jacket was strewn over Sophie's laptop along with her shirt. A bra was dangling over the leather headboard of the double bed (a nice change Sian had noted) while the rest of the underwear was either under the bed or still caught up in the duvet. The curtains hadn't got around to being closed but even in their open state they weren't letting in much light as snow had once again begun to fall, the sky becoming a grey shade of white. The door had nearly not been closed but Sian pushing Sophie's body back against it with some force had closed it pretty well the previous night.
A pillow lay in the middle of the floor, thrown unceremoniously by one of the current occupants of the bed. The number of the CD that had been left on from hours and hours ago from stuck and flashing on 17but they were all very minute details. The sound of chatter from downstairs may have been woke Sian or maybe it was the sound of gentle breathing in front of her or perhaps even the feel of brown hair tickling her nose. With a shaky breath she allowed her eyes to open and found herself staring at a rather naked and sleeping Sophie. She felt her stomach do about a thousand flips and the overriding desire to yell suddenly overwhelmed her. There was a quiet moaning sound as the distress of her ex seemed to wake the brunette.
"Sian," Her voice was husky and quiet due to the sleep she had only just woken from. The blonde stiffened. The feel of Sophie's skin was so smooth and soft beneath her fingertip that currently rested on the brunette's hip. When Sian had moved so she was spooning the brunette she had no idea and exactly the point they had fallen into bed was a complete phantom in Sian's memory. What troubled her even more was how she had succumbed to it. Her throat felt dry and her head was spinning. Her body tensed even more when the creaking of springs sounded around them and Sophie's hand came to rest over hers. It was far too close. Far too intimate and touchy feely. "Sian," The girl's voice came again more clearly but Sian was rooted to the spot.
"What am I doing?" Sian breathed gently as her hands found the bottom of Sophie's shirt and tugged it over her head. Once the item was off it was thrown aside and the blonde's lips found their way back to the younger girl's neck.
"Me," The brunette replied with a small chuckle that soon turned into a quiet moan as Sian's mouth became more impatient on her flesh. The blonde couldn't help but chuckled but was soon silenced as Sophie's mouth found hers and insistent fingers grasped the lapels of her jacket, impatiently shoving it off her shoulders. It didn't take long until Sophie stood in only her underwear and Sian was leant back on the dresser to look at her, smirk on her lips as she admired the brunette. Yep, more curves. Sophie didn't let her admire her body for long however as she crossed the room and laced her fingers in the back of the blonde's hair and pulled her into another kiss, quickly shedding her of her shirt. It didn't take the pair long to find their way into the bed but not before Sian had pushed Sophie up against the wardrobe and in turn, Sophie had pressed her in a firm kiss against the cold window.
"Stop," Sophie snapped as she watched the blonde throw back the cover and stand up. The woman was drawing Sophie's eyes to her with her gorgeous naked form and blonde messy hair tumbling down her back but she suddenly felt indisputably angry. Sian didn't listen and desperately tried to search for her underwear around the bed. Sophie sat up quickly and pulled the duvet up to cover her. "Sian, get back into bed!" She said quietly in a voice that was almost pleading. However the blonde looked like she was having none of it.
"If you leave me now..." Sophie began but was cut off as the blonde turned and set those gorgeous blue eyes on her. She was crying, tears speckling those beautiful orbs of hers. She looked so vulnerable and not just because she was naked but the look of despair of her face made a knot rise in Sophie's chest. Slowly, the brunette knelt up, keeping the duvet over her body with one hand while she quickly shuffled forward on her knees toward the blonde who was stood at the end of the bed, hands over her face. When Sophie reached her, she leant her free hand up and prised Sian's away from her face.
"Babe," Sophie whispered quietly. The blonde sniffed, clearly overwhelmed.
"Don't call me that," Sian breathed before letting out a single sob.
"Come back to bed, Sian," The younger girl said quietly. Sian shook her head and pulled her hand away, the touch of the brunette suddenly making her feel very claustrophobic. A pain was rising in her chest making it hard to breathe.
It's easier to burn than to build and god damn is it easier to hurt than to heal.
Thanks for reading (: Reviews loved.