A/N: Another chapter with Ciel0307! Be sure to check out Ciel0307's stuff. Hope you enjoy this chapter. : )

Chapter 21

(Alexa POV)

I smashed my fist into the steering wheel. Bishop was screwing with my mind again, and it was working! No, I wouldn't let him. Not again! I shook my head as that goddamn emotional knot stalked its way up into my throat. First tightening in my stomach then stretching throughout my entire body, that feeling of claustrophobia kicked in. Those betraying streams rolled down my cheeks as I sped away from that building. There, I faced my fears. It was thrown in my face like a water balloon. I couldn't do this, I couldn't-

"Fuck…" I gasped as I swung the truck to the side of the road. When I kicked my door open, a car missed it by inches. That didn't bother me. I fell to my knees on the side of the road, rocking in my state of emotional collapse. "It's just the side effects. I can fight this."

My mind wandered through thoughts that would help me calm down, birthdays, TMNT movie premieres, family, anything positive to get a grip on myself. I couldn't focus! Everything was becoming a swirl of unidentifiable panic.

'You have one minute to return to the vehicle'

I whimpered. "I can't get back in there."

'One objective incomplete. One life taken.'

That phrase sent a cold feeling through my body. 'One life taken'. I don't know how I was doing it, but I found my way to my feet. There was no way that I was going to let anyone get hurt. Being able to breath or not, I was not going to let anyone die! I forced the attack back and climbed back into the truck and sped off. My heart was racing and I tried to get ahead of Bishop's plan. What did he want? What was he planning?

'Turn left in the next 2 miles. There you will set up camp and wait.'

I hit the radio with a shout. "Shut up!"

Pressing my foot further on the pedal, the truck's engine roared. It wasn't long before I was in the middle of nowhere. After calming myself down, I set up a small camp with the supplies that was left in the bed of the truck. After the sleeping bags were set up, I grabbed a bundle of branches and got ready to get a fire going. Once that was ready, I grabbed one of the sleeping bag and laid on top of it. I tried to get my eyes to shut, but my nerves were in a bundle. Donnie really needs to make this antidote. I don't know how much longer I can push off these side effects. Staying on my side, I ran my hand over the grass around me, just something to do while I waited for further instructions. What else was there that I could do?

"Mom!" Kiyomi shouted and I scrambled to my feet to embrace her.

"Kiyomi! Where are the others? Are you by yourself?" I rambled.

"I don't know, but Uncle Raph is with me." She said as she pointed behind her as Raph jogged up.

"What ya doing 'ere?" Raph asked me.

I shrugged. "When you find out, let me know."

Raph crossed his arms and walked around. "We were sent 'ere ta rescue Leo or Donnie, but it was a side trip ta da middle of nowhere!"

I frowned. "We'll figure this out."

"Ya two get some sleep." Raph ordered as Kiyo and I pulled two bags together and laid down.I stroked her hair as she settled down.

"You think the others will show up?" I could hear the annoyance in her voice.

"I think so." I answered.

She sighed and closed her eyes, she was asleep moments later. I'm glad she could do that. My eyes went to the stars and I made shapes with the crystal speckles until the others did, indeed, show up. I didn't get up and greet them though. I don't want to hear all of their questions. When I was younger, I was the master at pretending I was sleeping. So, I put my old skills to the test as the others surrounded around the firepit, which was now ignited. The muffled voices told me that they were all talking about their experiences. I found the crackling flames and hushed voices soothing, that soon I was sleeping too.

My eyes opened to my house's yard, the air was crisp as I walked barefoot. My arms were crossed as I stumbled across the yard. Really I had no idea where I was going, but I kept going where I was until I entered the wooded area around my home. Chris walked out of the woods. I jumped and he flashed me that goofy smile, I always looked forward to seeing everyday. A smile pulled at my lips as I slowly approached him, but suddenly he frowned. His brows pulled together.

"You left." He said as he backed up.

I shook my head. "No, I didn't want to. I didn't."

"Don't lie!" He yelled, making me jump.

"No, Chris, please." I begged.

"I can't believe you." He backed up as someone grabbed him into the woods.

I chased towards the direction he was grabbed and found him in the woods unconscious. As I ran towards him, he disappeared! Spinning around, I looking around calling out his name but he didn't answer. Why does everyone leave me?

"Get her up!" I heard someone yell as I shot up off the ground, pulling my knees to my chest. I felt myself being pulled to my feet and I pulled away.

"Are you okay?" Aurora asked.

I nodded stiffly. Walking away from the group that formed around me, I tried to push the feeling away. I was fine. The dream though was true. With Chris. Though we didn't really get to talk when he arrived. I shouldn't ignore him, but that's what I did. It's been so long since I've spoken to him. Now he's being pulled into this shit hole...because of me...I started to move towards the woods, but I was stopped. I struggled to keep myself from being dragged into another panic attack. It took over, but this time I could keep myself from screaming. Instead, I just stared. I felt as if my whole body was shaking as shallow breaths came from me. Keep it together. Keep. It. Together. One breath after the other. Okay, now go back to the others. Slowly, my steps started to go where I wanted. I stopped as a thought came to mind. If I go back, I'll have to sit and listen to everyone ask if I was alright, that we'd find the others, and that everything was going to go back to normal. How can they? I pushed the questions aside and left. As I turned around to head back towards camp, I ran into Chris.

I'm surprised he was able to sneak up on me with the training the guys have given me.

"Hey." I tried to play it off that I was fine. "What are you doing away from the group?"

"Coming to find you obviously, I mean you just ran off after one of your panic attacks back there."

"Yeah, I guess you need some catching up, huh?"

"You think? I thought I've been doing pretty good till now."

"Considering what's been happening, yeah you are. So where do you want to start?"

"How about the beginning?"

I sighed and walked away from the crowded campsite. "How long do you want to stand out here?"

"As long as it takes till i get some answers," a slight frown appears on his face.

"Before I start telling everything, I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave everything and everyone that I knew and cared about. Just know that. If you felt as if I abandoned you, I'm sorry." If that dream, or nightmare, was true then I want to make sure he knows.

"See, now that's where I get lost," he starts pacing, waving his finger about, "because you even said that back then. And then I was naive enough to believe you. But apparently you did want to go, because you, well, did. And on top of it you stayed. And now you have a family of your own here, and I'm stuck by myself in a trashy apartment. With a douchey college student for a roommate!"

I just stared at him for a moment. How could I fix this? "Chris, I didn't leave. I was forcefully taken from my home, held captive by a crazy scientist, and experimented on. That family of mine was the product of those experiments. I couldn't leave here because there was no way to get back for a long time." My voice rose. "By the time I got back to my home and things settled, I didn't think that people were worried about me. I thought they moved on. So, yeah, I took what I had. I had kids to raise and lucky enough, for me, someone who wanted to be in their lives. You know as well as I do that I didn't have that, and I wasn't going to keep them from that!"

His voice lowered to a whisper as if he were on the verge of tears, "But, Alexa, I wanted to be in your life… You knew that."

A tear ran down my face. "...I know. I guess I did leave then, huh?" I shook my head. "Here I am dragging you into shit that can get you killed. How great am I?" I couldn't look him in the eyes, there would be too much hurt and betrayal in them.

"Alexa please, I've been through worse. This shits nothing. Let's not forget that while you were gone I did spend a couple years in the military."

"Well, I hope they trained you well in the subject of mind control 'cause that's what you're being pulled into. Bishop just got lucky with me. The depression shit and everything." I lowered my eyes. "He knows where to hit me too. I guess, I make it obvious." I shrug. "That's besides the point, I don't want you to have to go through that."

"Actually they did. And as for staying, it sure as hell beats the shithole I've been living in"

Damn, what did I leave him to? I'll have to ask about that another time. I shrugged as I answered. "Your choice."

"No, Alexa. It's your choice. Do you want me in your life again, or not. That's all I need to know."

"Yes, but not in the way that we were," My heart broke, "but Chris, I can't do this by myself." I put my hand on his arm. "We're getting picked up one by one, and I have no idea if we're getting anyone back. Yasuo said Bishop's changed, but I don't believe it. I can't believe." I shook my head. "If this is the Bishop I know, then Leo and Donnie aren't with us anymore. He wouldn't waste time holding them captive, again. Now we don't have anyone for the cure and this new guy is sneaking his way to our weak points." I let my hand fall. "I don't know how we're going to make it out of this one."

Just as Chris was about to answer me, everyone at camp were on their feet. Chris and I walked over, but Chris walked to the other side of the group. Fuck, I'm gonna lose him! My fists were in tight balls as I stepped towards the front of the group to see who had come here. Great...it was Bishop.

"Ya 'ave some guts showin' up 'ere, Bishop." Raph threatened.

"This is for your benefit, trust me." Bishop said calmly.

"Trust you." I scoffed, I was not in the mood for this shit. "Stop stalling, what do you want?"

Bishop put his hand up and motioned his goons who were hiding in the darkness around us. "I'm here to help. You all have the necessary materials for the antidote." His hand waved behind him. "I have someone to make it."

Donnie and Leo were escorted forward and Aurora took a step forward, but Sam held her back. I was as still as a statue as I looked at Leo. He looked right at me, but his gaze was unreadable.

"What do you want?" Yasuo demanded.

"I want to stop this madman from destroying the world." Bishop answered. "I have a lab hidden in the area, we could make the antidote, track Kellan's progress on his plan, and it'll be a safe haven. The rest of your family could stay there undetectable."

"The kids are staying where they are." Leo snapped. "Don't change the plan." His voice sounded dark.

Bishop sighed and nodded.

"Leo and I had plenty of time to interrogate him. He's not lying." Donnie told us, and Aurora raced into Donnie's arms, quietly crying.

"Yer not 'urt?" I heard Raph ask quietly. "But the videos."

"They were fake, used to get you to do what Bishop wanted." Leo answered.

Kiyomi was the first to run to Leo as the others followed, even Emi joined in on the embrace. I stayed though and watched Bishop, he still scared me. What he could do, scares me. But if Bishop is how he was then Leo and Donnie would be dead, right? My gaze went towards Leo as he started to walk towards me. His lips caught mine as he pulled me closer to him. After a moment we pulled back and Chris entered my mind. 'Alexa, I wanted to be in your life… You knew that.' I closed my eyes in attempt to slow down my racing mind.

"We show get to the lab." I said, before cleaning up camp and leaving for the lab.