Unforgivable Nights, Unforgettable Mistakes

Chapter 21: Unforgivable Mistakes

Late that night, Emily walked into the BAU...it had been the worst day of her life, and she still couldn't get her head around everything she had learned that day. That morning, everything had changed for her in a matter of seconds. She had woken up with a broken heart, but ready to put everything that happened the night before behind her. She woke her baby girl up and got her showered and ready for breakfast; she knew Bay loved quality time with her and from now on, she made a promise to herself that she would try to spend as much time as possible with her daughter. So, after her shower, they both settled on the sofa to have breakfast, and she was ready to have a perfect day. She assumed she would go to work and try to get out early and come back, and then ask Dr. Bergman if he would allow her to take Bay out for dinner then to the movie theater. Emily wanted to focus her entire time on her daughter only. Unfortunately, her day changed completely that morning, when Dr. Bergman told her the treatment Bay had been receiving wasn't working the way they had wanted, therefore, Bay was getting worse daily, and there weren't many other options. She knew things weren't working the way she wished; even she could see it on her daughter. Bay had lost a great amount of hair and weight, and she was getting weaker every day.

All of a sudden, everything else stopped mattering and making sense for Emily; she had no idea things were this bad, and now she felt she had her back against the wall and she was forced to immediately make a decision. The worst decision a parent would ever have to make...she had run out of time, there was no more hiding, there was no more burying things deeper and deeper, Dave already knew and she should have known that it was just a matter of time before she had to tell Aaron the truth. She just didn't expect it to be less than 24 hours after she and Aaron had gotten into a major fight.

Emily had spent most of the morning at the hospital taking tests and talking with different pediatric oncologists about what was best for Bay next; unfortunately, they all agreed that Bay was getting worse and the only way to save her was by doing a bone marrow transplant. Now, of course, that would be a very delicate procedure and slightly painful for little Bay, but there was no other choice, and they were running out of time. They needed to act and they needed to act fast...the longer they waited, the worse Bay would get. So, they rushed to test Emily to see if she was a compatible donor for the bone marrow.

The test results turned out to be Emily's worst nightmare...she wasn't a matching donor for Bay; it broke her heart and it also terrified her. Emily had really prayed and hoped she could save her baby girl, but now, she was being punished for her mistakes and her own lies and secrecy, now, she was forced to let everything out, and it wasn't going to be easy or her, and she knew it wasn't going to be easy for Aaron. She had pictured a million ways to tell Aaron Hotchner that Bay was his daughter, but telling him that their daughter was about to die and Bay needed him, definitely wasn't on her list of scenarios. Emily had run out of time, she had to tell him, they needed a viable donor for Bay and they needed him now.

She had spent all morning trying to find ways to tell him, but she couldn't come up with something rational enough. Dr. Bergman told her every second they waited was a second missed to save Bay, so she realized that this was it, time was over, she needed to tell him and tell him now, so she got in her car and drove aimlessly and arrived at Quantico...she knew he was there, he always was...it was now or never.

She walked into the BAU and looked around; there was nobody around, but she saw Aaron at his desk working on some kind of paperwork. He looked deeply concentrated, she kept walking until she was standing in front of him. Aaron was working on a case file when he became aware of a presence before him.

"Emily, what are you doing here...are you alright?" He asked, immediately getting up. Emily, however, didn't respond...she didn't even know how to start.

"Dave told me there was something going with your daughter, and you had to take the day off, is everything okay?" He asked concerned, getting closer to her. He could see the tears that were threatening to fall down her face.

"I...I...can...I talk to you, please...in my office?" Emily asked nervously.

"Sure, are you okay?" Emily just walked to her office as he followed her; however, she was surprised by what was inside. She thought she had walked into a flower shop for a second, Every single corner of the office was covered in flowers of all shapes and sizes.

"What is going on in here!" She asked, speechless.

"Emily, I know we haven't had a chance to talk about what happened yesterday, but just hear me out, please..." She couldn't respond, her mind was so wrapped around everything...she had trouble thinking.

"Beth and I broke up a long time ago, and she doesn't seem to get the picture. I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday, I swear to you that I never lied to you, I really do love you, Emily, more than I ever loved anyone...just give me chance, please...don't end things with us, let me show you how I feel about you. Please, just give me a chance, I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. We've already waited enough time...please, baby, let me show you how much I really love you." He got on his knees in front of her.

"Aaron, please." She said, shaking her head as tears rolled down her face.

"Please, Emily, just give me a chance...I love you, I know that you're it for me." He begged.

"I need to talk to you about something." She said, looking at him scared.

"Just tell me you'll give me a chance, please, Em. I love you more than I ever loved anyone."

"Aaron, stop, please, just stop! I need to talk to you first. This is important." She cried. He got up from the floor and looked at her.

"What's going on? Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I'm here for you, no matter what."

Emily shook her head...she didn't know how to do this, she simply didn't have the words to start.

"It's about Bay..."

"Your daughter, what about her, is she okay?" He asked, concerned immediately.

"Yes and no."

"What do you mean, what's going on with Bay?" He showed real concern for the girl.

"The chemotherapy hasn't worked the way they had hoped it would, the cancer just keeps on going." Emily said, tears rolling down her face.

"Okay, so, what can they do, transfer her to another hospital...a better one? I'm sure there are many other choices of hospitals out there. We can talk to other doctors, I'm sure I know some very good doctors, I can contact them."

"She's already at the best hospital there is, Aaron. That's one of the reasons why we came back here."

"Okay, then what do you need, what can I do for you?"

"They're going to do another treatment on her, a more complicated one." She knew she was going around in circles, but she couldn't stop herself.

"So, what do you need...money? I can help you with that. I'll give you anything you want."

"No, Aaron, I don't need money, this isn't about money."

"Then, what is it, Em...just talk to me, please." Emily exhaled, she had to do this, it was now or never.

"They're doing a bone marrow transplant for her...it's an emergency procedure...they need to act soon. Unfortunately, I'm not a viable donor for her...who would have thought, right? I mean, I'm her mother. I should be able to save my daughter's life, but I'm not a matching donor." She said, sobbing with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Okay, what about Bay's father...can he be a donor? I mean, I know you two had your differences, but it's his daughter, right? he should be here for her." Emily closed her eyes...she had to tell him.

"That's why I'm here." She said, wiping her eyes and looking at him.

"Do you want me to talk to your ex?" He asked, confused.

"Max isn't Bay's father, Aaron." She said, before she once again lost her courage.

"Okay, I'm confused now, if he's not the father, then who's her father?" Aaron had no idea what was going on.

"I found out I was pregnant with Bay a couple months after I moved to London, and the only person I was with before Max...it was you." Words poured out of her mouth before she could stop them, all the while watching as his facial expressions changed.

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?" What the hell was going on, he didn't understand what she was saying.

"Bay is your daughter." She said in a shaky voice.

There was a long silence where neither of them knew what to say...it was one of those moments where if a pin had dropped, it would have been perfectly audible, a moment where she felt she wanted to die, she couldn't breath, or think anymore; there was an uncomfortable silence, where he just stood there staring at her like she had just slapped him on the face, or said something horrible to him.

"What did you just say?" He asked, astonished.

"Bay is your...she is your daughter, Aaron." She said again, in a scared voice.

"She is my daughter? She is my daughter!? He asked, raising his voice.

"Aaron..." She started, but all of a sudden Aaron broke that silence.

"She is my daughter...and you're just telling me now! I mean...are you serious?

"Aaron, I'm trying to explain." But, unfortunately, things got elevated pretty quickly.

"You mean to tell me that for the past four years you have lied to me? That you have hidden my daughter from me? How could you do this, Emily, how could you do something so low?" He screamed at her.

"I didn't lie to you, I...just..."

"You just what! You hide that kid away from me...what the hell is wrong with you! I mean, you come out of the blue and tell me I have a daughter, a daughter I didn't know anything about." He said angrily, hovering over her.

"Please calm down."

"Calm down? That's your answer to me? You just told me I have a child that you never told me about, and you want me to calm down." He asked harshly.

"Who the hell do you think you are to do this?" He snapped at her, loosing all sense of decorum.

"I didn't know she was yours..." She explained meekly.

"You didn't know she was mine? For God's sake, Emily, how stupid do you have to be to know when a female has sex with two different people and then she gets pregnant, there is a possibility that both of those men could be the father!" She knew he had all the right to be mad, she just never expected him to react this way.

"Look, there is a lot to explain, and I know you're angry, but Bay really needs you right now, she is getting worse and without a bone marrow donor, she can die." She explained as tears rolled down her eyes.

"Oh, and that is my fault?" My daughter is lying in a hospital bed dying, and you sat there and let her get worse and not once did you have the decency to tell me she was my child!?" He said, screaming at her.

"I couldn't tell you." She cried.

"You couldn't tell me? You hid my child away from me for the past four years...when were you planning to tell me...on the day of her funeral?"

"Don't say that, stop, please." She begged as she cried and heavy tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Are you even sure she is mine?" He asked furiously.

"Excuse me?" Emily said, very offended.

"I mean, you lie to me about her existence, you lie to your husband about him being the father. for all I know, there could be another man, maybe you should find out how many men you did sleep with before you come and try to foster me with a child." He said harshly.

"That's not fair, Aaron." She cried out, hurt.

"I can't be around you right now, actually I can't be around you at all, I simply can't." He said angrily, slamming the office door and leaving Emily alone in the office, crumpled into a heap, sobbing.

She stayed there for what seemed like forever. Aaron had filled the room with flowers for her, she stood there looking at all the flowers. Once again, he had told her that he loved her and he wanted a chance with her; unfortunately, those feelings had changed in a matter of minutes as soon as she dropped the "you have a daughter bomb", and in that minute, Emily could see the anger and the hatred building up in his eyes toward her...this was it, Aaron Hotchner hated her more than anything in this world. She took her time to compose herself, then she headed out of the office.

As heartbroken as she was and as hurt as she felt, she needed to act soon...Bay's days where numbered, and there was no time to sit around crying and feeling sorry for herself, after all, this was her fault and only her fault, Aaron had walked out on her the minute she told him he had a daughter, as she thought he would, and the worst part was, he had insinuated Bay wasn't even his. That was what hurt her the most...she knew he was mad and he had every right to be, but after she told him Bay could die and she really needed him, he still walked away and left her. He didn't care about his daughter, he didn't give a damn that the little girl was lying in a hospital bed struggling for her life, he just didn't care...he didn't want anything to do with her or his daughter, and that really broke her heart.

She got in her car crying because she needed to get back to the hospital to be with her daughter, and if he didn't want to be there for her, then that was fine with Emily. Emily would just find someone that would be a viable donor for Bay...she would contact her mother, Emily knew her mother could help, she would pull some strings and maybe help her find a donor, or maybe even put herself on the waiting list. Yes, it sounded wrong, but she didn't care, she was going to save her daughter's life, no matter what she had to do, and she knew her mother had contacts and knew people. Everything would be fine, she just had to calm down, everything would be okay; she pulled out her phone and dialed the number without thinking about it twice.

"Hello..." The sleepy voice answered.

"Mom?" Emily said, holding back her tears.

"Emily, what's going on? Are you okay?" The ambassador sat up in bed, turning on the night lamp. Emily choked on her own tears, unable to utter a word she was sobbing so hard.

"What's going on, sweetheart? Emily, talk to me!"

"It's Bay, " That was all she was able to say.

"Oh Lord, is she okay? Please tell me what's going on!"

"She is not, mom, we need a donor, or she is going to die! My baby girl is going to die. I can't...I just can''t." She sobbed on the phone.

"Emily, calm down, please, I'm on my way to the hospital, everything will be fine, sweetie, I promise you, just hold on, I'll be right there." Elizabeth hung up the phone and rushed to get dressed.

Emily closed her phone and wiped her eyes; she needed to get back to the hospital to Bay, she knew her mother would meet her there, and they would find a solution together. Emily knew it, she might have had a rough relationship with her mother as a child and as a teenager, but she knew her mother would not let Bay die. Elizabeth Prentiss would pull whatever strings she had to and would make sure nothing bad happened to Bay. She drove to the hospital and parked in the lot; now, all she wanted to do was be with her daughter. Tiredly, Emily made her way to her daughter's room; however, she was met with a huge surprise when she got there. None other than Aaron Hotchner was in the room with Bay, and Emily's mouth dropped open.

"Mommy..." Bay cried when she saw her mother. Emily stood there speechless without knowing what to say. She looked at Bay and then at Aaron, totally in shock.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, astonished. But, before Aaron could respond Bay spoke...

"Mommy look, this is my friend I told you about...Michael." Aaron just closed his eyes... he knew this moment would come, right now he didn't feel like he needed to explain himself,.

"What!?" She asked, with her mouth agape.

"My friend, Michael, remember? You said you wanted to meet him." Bay said happily.

Aaron looked at her angrily; in fact, they were both looking at each other angrily like a pair of porcupines ready to attack.

"Michael?" She smirked angrily.

"That's my middle name, not that I have to give you any explanations." He said harshly.

Of course, she should have seen this, she should have guessed something, with all the presents and weird visits. The flowers, it all made sense now; this was so like him, why didn't she see it before. He was the mystery friend that had been sneaking around and visiting Bay and giving her presents behind her back. She could feel the anger running through her veins...all this time, she had been trying to protect Bay from him, making sure he didn't see her until her secret was out, and it turned out he already knew Bay, and he had already spent time with her. He had done it behind her back, she just couldn't believe this!

"Are you serious!? You came and visited my daughter behind my back, and you don't think I deserve an explanation, what the hell is wrong with you?" She snapped.

"What's wrong with me?" He snapped back angrily.

"She's my..." He screamed, but she stopped him before he could get any other words out.

"Aaron, please, not in front of her." She begged, crying.

"Why, are you planning to lie to her, too, forever?" He asked boldly.

"What's going on, mommy?" Bag asked, scared because her mommy and Michael were fighting loudly.

"Nothing, baby, mommy needs to talk to your friend, Michael." She said angrily, emphasis on "Michael".

They both stepped out of the room closing the door and making sure Bay's ears were shielded from the conversation they were about to have.

"Michael? Really? Are you out of your fucking mind...how could you do this?" She asked angrily.

"How could I do what, come and visit my daughter? The daughter you kept away from me on purpose?" He responded with fire in his eyes.

"I didn't keep her away from you on purpose." Emily responded in a pleading voice.

"You didn't? Then, explain to me why is it that you never told me about her existence until now?" Aaron was so mad he was shaking.

"If Bay wasn't this sick, you would have never told me about her, I know you wouldn't." Emily shook her head, denying that she would have kept Bay's existence from him.

"You kept my child away from me, why Emily, just tell me why?" This conversation was just going around in circles, and they weren't getting anywhere.

"I tried to explain." She said tiredly, one more time.

"There is nothing to explain, Emily... you are a liar, an impostor, and a whore...that's enough explanation for me, and..." But, before he could finish his insults, she slapped him hard across the face, leaving a very red handprint.

"Do not talk to me like that!...especially not in front of my daughter!" She hissed, with fire in her eyes.

"SHE'S MY DAUGHTER, TOO, AND YOU KEPT HER AWAY FROM ME!" He was seething.

"I made a mistake, Aaron, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but right now, she needs help and screaming at each other isn't going to get her that help." She said furiously.

"Well, your mistakes could have cost her life, if anything happens to her it's your fault; you'd better pray that we're still in time to save her, because I swear, Emily, if something happens to her, you have no idea what I'm capable of doing." He said, with fire in his eyes.

"Do not dare to threaten my daughter, Agent Hotchner! Because I can guarantee that if you come anywhere near her, you will regret it!" Elizabeth Prentiss said, looking at him with poison in her eyes.

"Ambassador Prentiss." He said, lowering his tone.

"I think it's better if you leave, Agent Hotchner." She ordered, walking closer to them.

"Ambassador, I think we all need to calm down." Aaron suggested.

"Let me repeat myself, Agent Hotchner, YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW!" She said, in a very harsh tone that left room for discussion.

Aaron turned to look at Emily with hatred in his eyes.

"You and I are over, I would do anything for her, anything it takes to save her, but you and I are over, you are dead to me!" He said through piercing eyes.

"I will give you five seconds to leave before I call security." The ambassador said, stepping between him and Emily.

With that, he had no choice but to leave. Emily stood there with tears rolling down her face when her mother turned to her; she was sure her mother was going to yell at her for everything she had done, for the lies, for hiding Bay's father's identity, and she was ready to hear it all...how she was a disappointment and a failure of daughter, instead her mother turned to her with a warm and kind smile and said...

"Everything is going to be okay, no matter what, I'm here, Emily." Emily nodded, unable to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks as her mother pulled her into her arms.