A new year had begun and Colleen was preparing for her return to school in just a couple of weeks. She had been having a wonderful time with her family but also spent much of her winter break missing Andrew. He had been visiting his family in Boston since just after Thanksgiving. It wasn't exactly the best timing in terms of he and Colleen's relationship seeing as how they barely had time together since the epidemic. However, he had taken the time to write to her letting her know how his trip was going and that he wished her a happy holiday and good luck upon her return to school. It wasn't much or anything intimate but the gesture that he was thinking about her was enough for Colleen for the time being.

Andrew may not have had much to share other than well wishes but Colleen had A LOT to fill Andrew in on. So she decided to sit down and write a letter in return. The Sully situation had finally been resolved. There had been a peace deal made between the army and the leader of the dog soldiers and Sully's freedom was written into the terms. He finally got home for Christmas. Since the agreement, the town finally was back to normal. The army had left and there was no longer fear of raids on the town. It was the best feeling for the Sully family to finally have no more secrets. They were finally able to go about their lives as normal, no more sneaking around or lies and their friends and the rest of the town accepted them again with open arms.

Colleen thought for a moment about how she should sign the letter. "Sincerely" or "regards" seemed too formal. She finally decided on "affectionately, Colleen". She thought it more appropriate for what their relationship had become and the potential that was always there. After Thanksgiving, they seemed to be on a good path. However, their relationship always seemed to have set backs every time they moved just a bit forward. They just never had enough time together and then would spend months apart only to reunite awkwardly. Neither one ever sure of how that time apart had effected the other one's feelings. They would always proceed with caution only to have brief moments of intimacy right before being separated again. Colleen sighed and stared at the word "affectionately" one last time. It WAS appropriate. No matter where their relationship would end up in the future, Colleen knew that they both truly cared for one another, even if it was only ever going to be just as friends. With a smile, Colleen folded up her letter and sealed it.

A few weeks into her semester Colleen was settled back into her life in Denver. One afternoon while headed out to class, she was abruptly stopped by the woman that runs her boarding house. Colleen had received a telegram that was marked as URGENT.

It read:

COLLEEN, EMERGENCY WITH DR. MIKE. TAKE NEXT TRAIN HOME.

Colleen froze up for a moment. "That's it?" She thought. She needed more information but clearly would not be getting any. She headed back to her room and quickly got some of her belongings together. Her classes would have to wait. They weren't what was important. Nothing but getting home to her family was important now.

Andrew stepped out of one of the hotel rooms where he had left Michaela to recover and finally took a deep breath. He placed his head in both his hands and rubbed his brow as he tried to comprehend everything that had just happened. It was all so fast that he had been running on instinct and adrenaline.

Hank had burst into Andrew's clinic carrying Michaela, Cloud Dancing following behind to help. She had been shot in her left shoulder while at the clinic and the two men had been the ones to find her and rush her to the Chateau. Andrew got to work right off, quickly assessing the wound. The bullet was still inside and Michaela was losing a lot of blood. Andrew immediately started grabbing instruments and medicines that he would need for surgery. He needed to get the bullet out and sew up the subclavian artery that he had suspected been damaged. He had to step back more than once and compose himself before proceeding. He had never done the procedure before and had certainly not experienced the intensity of such an emergency situation and even worse was that his mentor, the person who he would have turned to for help, was the one on the surgical table. Andrew's heart raced the entire time but he made it through the surgery and Michaela had as well. She was still in pretty bad shape though and Andrew couldn't say for certain whether or not she would survive.

Colleen had headed straight to the hotel once arriving back in Colorado Springs. When she got off the train, Horace had informed her that Michaela had been shot and was being taken to Andrew's clinic. She could hardly believe what was going on. It was all so surreal.

"Thank goodness you're here!" Miss Dorothy exclaimed as Colleen walked up onto the front porch of the Chateau. Dorothy had been waiting the entire time since Michaela had been in. She was caring for Katie and sitting with the rest of the family to comfort and support them in whatever they may have needed.

Colleen wore a blank stare. She didn't know what to say, she was still in shock. Dorothy noticed Colleen's behavior.

"Sully just got here not that long ago. He was out on a survey when it happened. He's with your Ma now so perhaps you should wait a bit before going up. Collect yourself maybe? Talk to someone? Andrew would be able to tell you best how she's doing"

Colleen just nodded but her facial expression changed. Yes, she thought. Andrew was exactly the person she needed at that moment. He was exactly the person that could bring some clarity to the nightmare.

Dorothy just smiled sympathetically. "He should be over in his clinic" she told Colleen.

Colleen opened the door to Andrew's clinic and stepped in. Andrew was cleaning up the clinic . He had never performed a surgery of any sort in there and it was a disaster. When Colleen saw the scene she just froze, knowing that the blood was Michaela's and there was a lot of it. Andrew had heard the door quietly open but barely turned around.

"I'm sorry but the clinic isn't..." He started but trailed off when he noticed it was Colleen. He too froze as they made eye contact. Then after a moment, regained some clarity. "Colleen, you shouldn't be in here... you shouldn't have to see this..." and he quickly ushered Colleen out of the clinic and into a private office where they could talk.

Colleen couldn't unsee the mess though and started to breath heavily and her eyes filled with tears.

As they entered the office, Colleen was visibly shaking and Andrew immediately took her in his arms and held her tightly as he shut the door behind them. Colleen wrapped her arms around his waist and burried her face in his chest. Tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"Do you even know everything that happened yet?" Andrew finally asked her.

"No... not ... just that she was..." Colleen stuttered through her stilted breathing.

Andrew knew he had to be strong and calm for Colleen's sake. He stepped away from their embrace and spoke to Colleen in a very professional manner. "She was shot. In the left shoulder. The bullet was lodged inside. I had to remove it as well as stitch up the subclavian artery."

Colleen focused her eyes directly on Andrew as she took in what he was saying. He seemed so collected that Colleen began to calm herself. She simply just nodded as her breathing slowed and the shaking ceased.

Andrew took a deep breath before continuing, "She survived the surgery and is still asleep upstairs. Rest is good for her just now. There's still a chance that..."

"She won't survive" Colleen stated, finishing his sentence.

Andrew looked away from her for a moment. It pained him to have to relay the truth behind Michaela's condition. He nodded. "Yes. There's a chance the stitches won't hold on the artery and she could bleed out."

Colleen swallowed hard at the thought of losing Michaela. She'd already lost her real ma, she didn't know what she'd do if she lost Dr. Mike too. "What can I do to help her get better?" She managed to ask.

Andrew smiled briefly at Colleen's perseverance. He was always in awe of her ability to keep moving forward and helping others, despite her personal emotions. "Well like I said... rest. She needs to get as much rest as possible and keep her shoulder free of any movement."

Andrew watched Colleen for a reaction. She simply stared off blankly only slightly nodding her head subconsciously.

"Do you want me to take you up to see her? Are you ready?" Andrew asked cautiously.

Colleen shook her head no. "Not yet" She said timidly and then leaned back into Andrew, wrapping her arms around him once again. She needed the comfort and safety that Andrew had come to represent for her for just a bit longer before she had to face reality.

"Take as much time as you need" Andrew told her as he dropped the professional demeanor, squeezed her tightly and prepared to hold her for as long as was necessary.

A few days after the incident, Michaela was able to go home. By then, the man who shot her had been caught and was sent to Denver to stand trial. He had lost his wife during an operation and was so grief stricken he took out his anger on the doctor who performed her operation and then went on to shoot other doctors in the territory. Michaela was fortunate to survive his rampage. She rested for a couple of weeks before Andrew cleared her to go back to work. She tried to go back to the clinic and resume a normal day but it wasn't so easy. She was having severe anxiety when alone in the clinic and decided that she wasn't ready. She was terrified about going back to the clinic but wouldn't admit just how afraid she was. Over the next couple of days she continued to make excuses about going back to work until finally Sully insisted that Andrew come check on her.

"The incision has completely healed. As far as I can see, you're perfectly healthy." Andrew told Michaela following his exam.

"She's been real tired" Sully told Andrew, hoping for some answers

"Well that's to be expected after a two week convalescence. As you know, your strength will return. But if you want to, I see no reason why you can't return to work now." Andrew said to Michaela positively.

"That's a relief" Michaela said, forcing a smile.

Sully was not fooled by Michaela's relief though. He could tell that there were still levels of fear in his wife that went very deep. Colleen and Matthew saw it too as they stood nearby, watching. They all walked Andrew out to his surrey, leaving Michaela behind to rest.

"I want to thank you for coming out here and checking in on her" Sully told Andrew as they stepped off of the front porch.

"My pleasure" Andrew replied. "I only hope Michaela's reassured by it"

"Sometimes healing the body is just the beginning" Sully told him.

"She's been having nightmares" Colleen added.

"Well nightmares are not uncommon following such a trauma" Andrew said trying to stay positive for the family, hoping that Michaela's situation wasn't as bad as what he knew it could become. "They should dissipate over time"

"But they seem to be getting worse" Colleen told him.

Andrew sighed. The situation was getting out of control.

"Ive been reading about soldiers in the war, have nightmares so bad sometimes they can't even set foot in places that remind them of the battlefield." Matthew added to the conversation. Making a clear comparison to what was going on with Michaela.

"I've seen the same things back in the mining camps after a cave in. Men would rather kill themselves than go back in" Sully said.

"Michaela's purposely avoiding going back to the clinic" Andrew stated, confirming what the rest of the family already knew.

The group fell silent. They all knew Michaela was scared. She wouldn't talk about it though and the problem was only going to get worse. None of them was positive about how to approach her though.

Sully and Matthew gave sullen smiles and excused themselves back into the house, leaving Colleen and Andrew alone.

They stood a moment, still in silence. Andrew looked down at Colleen who was deep in thought.

"How are YOU doing with all of this?" He asked her

"Me?" Colleen asked a bit surprised. "I'm fine. It's just... I still can't believe this happened. And to see Ma so scared? It's just not like her. She's the strongest woman I've ever known. I've never seen her afraid of anything. I guess... we all aren't sure how to make this better"

"Well these things take time" Andrew told her as he took her hand.

Colleen looked up at Andrew and smiled with gratitude, wanting to be hopeful that with time, Michaela's fears would resolve.

"Have you been over to the clinic since?" Andrew asked

"Briefly" Colleen told him "I went there to clean up the... well I cleaned up after what happened"

"You cleaned that up?!" Andrew asked shocked "You shouldn't have had to do that..."

"Well someone had to do it" Colleen said "It was fine... I just didn't want Ma to have to go back there and see the blood on the floor"

Andrew nodded with understanding of why Colleen had gone there to clean. He sympathized with her though. It must have been hard for her to do so.

"I probably should go back though and check up on her patients. Make sure everything is in order" Colleen continued but she seemed unsure. Almost afraid herself.

"If you'd like, we could head over to Michaela's clinic together. That way you wouldn't have to go there alone?" Andrew offered.

"I think that'd be a good idea" Colleen said a bit relieved.

They stared into each others eyes affectionately. Colleen, loving that he always felt a need to take care of her and Andrew admiring her ability to remain strong when faced with tragedy.

"Thank you" She said sweetly. "Not just for making sure Dr. Mike is ok but for... always helping me out too"

"Of course" Andrew said grinning "That's what friends are for right?"

"yeah... " Colleen said softly, a bit taken back by Andrew's use of the word 'friends'. It probably meant nothing but she couldn't help but dwell on it.

After settling in on a time to meet the following day, Andrew climbed up into his carriage and headed out.

Colleen arrived in town the next morning and made her way towards the clinic. She stepped up onto the front porch and sat down on the bench. She waited patiently for Andrew, thinking about what he had said the day before. "That's what friends are for". Is that what he thought of their relationship? Friends? She had signed her last letter to him "affectionately" and was now wondering if that was a mistake. Perhaps he didn't share the same feelings that she had. Or perhaps he hadn't truly forgiven her for everything that had happened over the previous summer.

"Good morning!" Said a cheerful voice, interrupting Colleen's thoughts. She looked up to see Andrew with a wide and genuine smile across his face. It was infectious. Colleen replied with a sweet smile of her own and any doubts she was having a moment ago drifted away from her thoughts. For now.

"After you" Andrew said gesturing towards the door. They entered together.

When Colleen stepped inside, she paused for a moment. The clinic had always been a safe place for her. A place where she lived as a child, a place where she discovered she wanted to be a doctor, a place where she had watched and studied Michaela. Now she stood in the very spot where Michaela had been shot and those feelings of home had been unraveled.

"You OK?" Andrew asked

"yes. I just have to keep busy today, that's all." Colleen said positively. And she really was trying her best to stay that way. "Eventually everything will feel normal again"

"Well that's what I'm here for" He told her happily. "To keep you busy and distracted"

They spent the morning going over patient files and making sure everything was in order for Michaela's eventual return. Andrew's presence was definitely a distraction for Colleen and they were as comfortable in their conversation as they'd ever been.

"This is nice" Colleen said to Andrew. "Being able to work together... able to just talk"

"I agree" Andrew said with a smile. "It's been so long since we've been here together without any worry about the Sully situation or of indian attacks or the stress of handling the diptheria epidemic."

"Yeah. I'm really glad that we're able to put all of that behind us and move forward. We were always such good... friends... I mean... I just care... I care a lot about you.. and me... so, this is nice." Colleen stuttered a bit but intentionally emphasized the word friends. She was curious to see Andrew's reaction to it. She wanted him to elaborate on his own use of the word the day before.

Andrew didn't really understand why Colleen had so adamantly referred to them as friends. He hadn't even realized that a simple statement the day before had thrown Colleen off a bit. They were friends, very good friends but he was under the impression that they would be moving forward, to something much more. He was suddenly very embarrassed at his assumptions and quickly thought back on every move he had made to advance their relationship. He thought about every meaningful conversation, every hug, every kiss. Then his heart sank as he recalled kissing Colleen just after her Aunt Marjorie had passed away. Colleen was emotional and vulnerable that night. Had he taken advantage of her? He had never meant it that way but now hearing Colleen refer to them as only friends, she might have been offended by it. At one time Andrew had been excited about that kiss and the possibilities it could lead to but now, he just felt terrible.

"Umm.. yes. We have always been good friends. Um... I wouldn't want that to ever change" Andrew said, trying to figure out how to apologize to Colleen. They had such a good morning, he didn't want that to end. He didn't want her to ever feel uncomfortable because he had tried to move past friends. It would be good to talk about it now and get it out of the way. "I uh... I want to um.. I want to apologize for... being too forward with you when your Aunt passed away"

Colleen was completely thrown off now. She hadn't expected him to bring that up. They had never actually talked about it at all. They just sort of went with it and then moved on, like they always had. She couldn't think of how to respond. She just stood facing him, looking at him in a bit of a questioning manner. She wanted him to continue.

"It was just... inappropriate." Andrew explained. "You had just lost your aunt, your best friend a few days before... you were vulnerable and emotional and I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. I'm just glad that we can still be comfortable around one another... like we are now"

"Oh." Colleen said , not knowing what else to say. She was still trying to sort it all out. If he regretted the kiss, he must really want to remain friends. He clearly (In Colleen's eyes) had no intentions of becoming more.

"Are you... is that... ok?" Andrew asked trying to read Colleen's reaction.

"Yes... of course.. that's fine" Colleen said, trying to convince herself more than Andrew. She wasn't fine with it though. She was slowly losing any hope that they would ever have a romantic relationship.

Andrew smiled and nodded before turning around and going back to his work. He too was disappointed. He wanted more answers about how she was feeling. He wanted to try to explain what he was feeling as well. But he couldn't. He never knew how to go about talking to Colleen about their relationship or feelings but none of that mattered now. They were friends. They worked well as friends and colleagues anyways. So they would both go on about their lives, trying to convince themselves that they didn't have stronger feelings for the other. Both unaware that they wanted the same thing.

While Michaela was dealing with the aftermath of her trauma, Andrew and Colleen continued to treat their relationship as a friendship. Andrew would go into town after he finished his work at the Chateau to check in and consult with Colleen about patients. Without worrying about where their relationship was headed, they fell into easy conversation as they once had before all the drama over the summer. They didn't come across any awkward moments or long pauses, neither one stumbled over what to say to the other. They were happy to simply enjoy their time together again.

Colleen tried her best to avoid the subject of her mother. It was hard enough to deal with Michaela's worsening fear and trying to stay positive for Brian and Katie's sake. She was exhausted from it all. She wanted to try to clear her head while she was away from the homestead. Andrew knew Colleen didn't care to talk about it but as Michaela's doctor felt that he needed to check in.

"So, how is Michaela doing? Is she still having nightmares? Has Sully been able to talk to her?" Andrew asked as he was packing up his bag to leave the clinic for the night.

Colleen just sighed heavily with despair and shook her head.

"I'm sorry" Andrew said whole heartedly. "Would you like me to go out there and check up on her? Do you think it would help?"

"Thanks" Colleen told him with an appreciative smile before turning downcast again "But... I don't think it would help. She doesn't want any of us to help and until she does... I'm not sure what anyone can do"

"So she's getting worse?" Andrew asked worried

Colleen nodded "She hasn't left the house in days. She's afraid to even step outside"

Andrew wasn't sure what to say. He didn't need to say anything though. Colleen knew that he would just let her vent if she needed to. So she continued, "It's just so hard to see her like this. For as long as I've known her she's never been afraid of anything. Her bravery is one of things I've always admired most about her. She's seen so much tragedy and dealt with so much loss and she's never wavered. She's been strong for all of us for so long. I just wish... I wish that someone knew how to be strong for her. To show her how to go on. I just want her to feel safe again."

Andrew nodded in agreement. He too wished he had a solution. He felt as if he should have the answers. But what Michaela was going through was beyond his training. There was no medicine or tonic that could heal her fear.

"Perhaps she should take smaller steps" He suggested, trying to offer something. "Maybe instead of getting her to come to the clinic, first try to make her feel comfortable at home, in the yard, doing ordinary tasks"

"We were thinking the same thing" Colleen replied. "Brian and I were going to work out in the garden today, we were hoping to get her to come out and help us"

"It's worth a try. I'm sure it can't hurt any" Andrew said, trying to remain positive. He and Colleen had finished cleaning up the clinic and he put his coat on and handed Colleen her shawl as they prepared to head out together.

Colleen and Brian worked in the garden that evening but Michaela could not bring herself to go to help them. She remained inside while the family's concerns for her increased. Finally, Sully forced her to talk to him. She needed to say out loud that she was afraid. Michaela finally broke down and admitted that she was overcome with a sense of doom around every turn and she couldn't fully understand what was happening to her. She trembled with fear of the past and fear of losing control of her life. Sully held her tightly and rocked her as she dropped to the floor and became a storm of emotions.

She wasn't the only storm sweeping through Colorado Springs that night. The wind outside picked up heavily and thunder rolled in the distance as the rain rushed down from the sky. Michaela collected herself for the time being and went up stairs to wash up a bit. Brian, Matthew and Sully went out and made sure all the shutters were closed and locked and all the animals were safe in the barn. Colleen cleaned up after dinner and prepared a bath for Katie.

Dinner had been uncomfortable for everyone. They were all unsure of how to handle Michaela's behavior or what to say. They didn't know if it was right for them to go on acting as normal, so they chose silence instead. Colleen quietly made her way up the stairs to let Michaela know that Katie was ready for her.

The storm was reaching it's peak and lightning flashes lit up the sky.

Michaela could see that Katie was uneasy with the sounds of the storm and began to gently speak to her while bathing her. As Katie calmed to Michaela's soothing voice, Michaela too smiled and began to relax herself. Colleen watched her mother from the other room and observed the positive effect that spending time with Katie was having on Michaela. It got her to thinking that there was still a chance Michaela could come back from all of her fears.

Colleen smiled as Michaela lifted Katie out of the bath tub and hugged her tightly. She actually looked happy for the first time in weeks. That picture perfect moment was halted though when suddenly a crack of lightning sounded just outside and a tree branch came crashing through the window. Michaela and Colleen screamed and Katie began to cry. Michaela held Katie as close to her as she could as she watched Sully and Matthew frantically run in and work to get the branch out of the window. It had destroyed the bath tub that Katie was sitting in just moments before. The thoughts of what might have happened filled everyone's mind. How quickly their lives could have been changed in mere seconds.

Their lives did change that night. For the better. Michaela was up for most of that night thinking about the events of the past couple of weeks and how she had let her fear consume her and how she needed to make a change.

The next morning, Colleen and Brian were just about finished clearing the table from breakfast and Sully and Matthew were already busy cleaning up after the storm when Michaela walked downstairs. The family had let Michaela sleep in, assuming that she'd need and want the rest. When she came down however, she was fully dressed and had a relaxed demeanor. Something they hadn't seen from her since the shooting. "Good morning" They all said to her, more than pleasantly surprised.

Michaela smiled at her loved ones and then surprised everyone once again when she asked Brian to saddle up her horse. She planned on riding into town. She then turned to Sully, Matthew and Colleen and recalled the events of the storm out loud to them. How it had made her feel, how she and Katie could have both been killed by that tree branch.

"And now I realize it doesn't matter where I am, or what I'm doing. Whether I'm at home, in town Or even at the clinic. There are things in this world we can't control. We just have to live our lives and hope for the best." Michaela explained, seeming to be very sound of mind.

"Sounds like good advice" Sully told her and then wrapped his arms around her proudly. Colleen and Matthew looked on with the same pride. They knew that she was going to be ok. She had gone through the worst of it.

That same afternoon, Colleen decided to ride out to the Chateau to see Andrew and let him know about Michaela.

"So she just went to the clinic this morning?" Andrew asked, quite surprised himself.

"Yeah. She just went. I checked on her just after lunch time and she seemed to be doing ok" Colleen explained. "I think it's still going to take some time for her to feel real safe but... it's a start"

"Of course. Well... that's wonderful" Andrew said. He was happy for Michaela and relieved that it seemed she was going to be ok. However, his next thought dampened the good news. This meant he wouldn't be working with Colleen in the afternoons. "So does these mean you'll be heading back to Denver?" He asked, trying to sound casual about his feelings. After all, she didn't seem to be sharing the same feelings he had anymore.

"Yeah. I'll probably head back tomorrow afternoon so I can make it to my classes the following day" Colleen told him.

"Oh ... well... good. It'll be good for you to focus on school again" Andrew said in response, sounding less casual now.

Colleen heard the disappointment in his voice and for a moment, allowed herself to have some hope again.

She didn't stay long as Andrew had patients to see and she wanted to head back into town to make sure Michaela was continuing to do ok. She said her goodbyes to Andrew and as she walked away, Michaela's words rang in her head. 'Live your life and hope for the best'. It WAS good advice. Advice that Colleen was going to take to heart in regards to her relationship with Andrew. Being home this time, they had really reconnected and neither one wanted to go backwards in their relationship now. Luckily, Colleen's school had some time off and she would be home in only two weeks. She would live her life and Andrew would live his and if they were meant to be, they needed to trust that it would eventually work out.