Chapter 21

"So how was the visit with Montana's family?" Mariah asked a few days later.

"Come to think of it, much better than I anticipated," Paul replied. "Her dad is a great guy. I thought he'd be this cranky old goat, but Jack's pretty easygoing."

"Jack?" Mariah raised her eyebrows.

"He insisted on being called that. I tried 'Mr. Hayes' the way I was brought up to address older adults, but he was having none of it. Did you know he got the bronze in the Olympics for boxing?"

"Wait! The Jack Hayes is Montana's dad? The one that got hurt bad in a car accident that killed his wife? Kids were driving too fast and hit his car head on or something?"

Paul nodded. "That's him. How did you know anyway?"

"My father was a big fan of Olympic boxing, Lord rest his soul. So what else is this guy like?"

"For sixty five, Jack's a really cool, modern dude. He didn't even seem to mind me and Mon sharing the same room."

"Hey, that's a first. Most fathers would be bringing the shotgun out. I know mine would have."

"And he loves women with curves. I knew I liked this guy for some reason."

"Wow, sounds like a good catch," Mariah nodded.

"He's already taken," Paul laughed. "And Mon's got a brother that is an investment banker. He tried giving me stock tips. I told him he had me confused with JBL."

Mariah chuckled. "No offense, but it would be difficult to confuse you with Bradshaw."

"Gee, thanks."

"So anyway, any plans for her to meet your family?"

"I've been thinking about it."

"Yeah, think about it; if they like her as much as your girls do, you're in luck."

Paul nodded. "You have a good point there."

"And speaking of those kids, who's watching them while Montana's at work, you're with me, and Shaun's at Disney World with her family for the weekend?"

"Brian. Don't worry; I laid down the law again before I left."

"Now let's hope he doesn't go near anything that involves heat or fire in the meantime."

"I have that covered as well. Room is both kid and Spanky proof."

Paul's phone buzzed in his pocket, causing him to jump a little. He flipped it open, checking the Caller ID and recognizing the room phone.

Probably Mac wanting some silly thing, he thought.

"Yes, kiddo, what is it?" he answered, taking a swig out of his water bottle.

"Aww, dude, I didn't think you cared," Brian replied.

"Spanky, what the hell are you doing using the room phone?"

"I forgot mine down in my room and too lazy to go get it."

"So you run up the bill in my room. Nice."

"Anyway, wanted to give you a heads up about something."

"If I have to pay for another broken bed because you let the girls jump on it when I told them not to or you fucked up the broadband internet connection again—"

"Jesus, PL, take a breath, will you? It isn't that."

"Then do excite me."

"Kira just asked the burning question of where babies come from."

Paul spit out the last gulp of water he took. "What?! Jesus Christ!"

"That isn't exactly what I was told in sex ed, dude."

"Spanky, surely you did not tell those two what I think you did."

"What the hell was I supposed to say, that they were shit on a stump and the sun hatched them out? Come on, PL; you know they were bound to ask sooner or later."

"I swear to Christ I am going to kill you. I was going to sit Mac down when she was ten. What were you thinking? Did I not remind you that they are my kids?"

"You'll thank me when Mac's not knocked up when she's sixteen. Will you chill? They're telling this shit to kids in first grade now, trust me."

"First grade?"

"Welcome to the United States, señor."

"Smart ass."

"Glad to be of service. You're welcome. I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress."

Paul sighed, snapped the phone shut before putting it in his pocket and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fucking hell," he groaned.

"Should I even ask what that was about?" Mariah wondered.

"Let's just say a six year old and a three year old just got the World of Sex According to Spanky lecture and leave it at that."

"Oh God," Mariah said. "You cannot be serious. Those girls aren't old enough to know about that."

"According to him, they're teaching it to first graders now. I should have known something like this was bound to happen when Kira asked about babies the other day when we were visiting Montana's family."

"Well, they can be curious at that age, but even I find this a little over the top."

"You aren't kidding, Mimi. He's lucky I'm letting him live."