Author's note: Prepare for a boring and/or infuriating philosophical rant in this chapter.

Chapter XXI

The Virtue of Reason

Over the following decades, Saruman became very busy, between resuming his hunt for Sauron, maintaining the Army of the White Hand, and keeping a good alliance and trade partnership with the Stewards of Gondor and the Kings of Rohan. However, he also had occasional visits from Elrond and Gandalf, and he even spared himself a little time to play golf. He cleared out an area to the west of Isengard to use it as a golf course. He also made his own clubs out of metal with heads of varying sizes.

One day, Saruman was visited by Gandalf, Elrond, and Radagast. Elrond brought his children, and the four of them went to Orthanc to see Celebrian. Gandalf and Radagast stayed outside with Saruman to watch him play a round of golf while talking about matters of varying degrees of importance.

"So," said Saruman as he prepared for his first stroke, "what news from the Greenwood?"

"Much the same as usual for the most part," said Radagast. "Although the same can't be said for the lands to the north of the forest. I don't know if you've heard, but a dragon from the Withered Heath attacked the Lonely Mountain and forced the dwarves out of their kingdom."

Saruman swung his club, and the ball sailed through the air towards the hole, marked by a flagpole bearing the White Hand of Saruman. "Yes, I've heard. An absolutely tremendous creature. Smaug they call him. And he now sits upon the greatest hoard of gold in Middle-earth. I truly feel sorry for King Thrór and his people. All those years, all that effort mining in Erebor, only to have their rightly earned wealth stolen. A once proud people led by an impoverished king now wander the wilderness."

"King Thrór is dead," said Gandalf.

Saruman looked at Gandalf. "I'm sorry?"

"He died trying to reclaim Moria," said Gandalf. "Sometime after we slew Durin's Bane, Moria was infested with orcs. Their chief killed Thrór, but he was in turn killed by Lord Dain of the Iron Hills."

Gandalf and Radagast started to follow Saruman to where the ball rested in the distance. "Do you think that the dwarves can ever reclaim Erebor?" asked Gandalf.

"No," said Saruman. "Not with a dragon reigning over the mountain."

"Then do you think that we could help them, perhaps?" asked Gandalf. "It'll be just like when we killed the Balrog, except this time we'll have your army at our backs."

"That's absurd," said Saruman. "My army is suited for defending Isengard and its allies. We have neither the numbers nor the proper equipment to deal with a dragon. I think that it would be best not to go near the Lonely Mountain. Smaug lies dormant and poses no further threat. He is content with his treasure hoard, and he will not leave Erebor unless he is provoked. It is very important that he is not provoked. Lake-town lies in the shadow of the mountain, and the people who live there could suffer the consequences if Smaug awakes. I know that you and I slew a Balrog together, Gandalf, but I really don't feel that it would be wise to risk the wrath of a dragon."

"I think that it is also worth mentioning," said Radagast, "that the sickness of Dol Guldur has spread further, tainting a vast area of the forest, and dark clouds are radiating from the fortress."

"Eru almighty!" exclaimed a flustered Saruman. "I don't care! At all!"

"But it's true!" said Radagast. "The elves of Thranduil's realm don't even call it the Greenwood anymore. It's now known as Mirkwood."

"Calm down, you two," said Gandalf. "We can save our bickering for the next White Council meeting."

Just as Saruman was about to take his second stroke, the wizards heard the sound of a great bird. They looked up at the Misty Mountains far to the north and saw the shape of a mighty bird of prey soaring through the air.

"What is that, I wonder?" said Radagast, and the bird fell down behind the hills in the distance. It did not dive gracefully, but rather plummeted as though it was unable to continue flying.

"I do believe that's a Great Eagle of Manwë," said Gandalf.

"That didn't look like a very graceful landing," said Saruman. "We might go and see what help we can give it. Manwë probably wouldn't appreciate us not helping one of his servants when we are able to do so."

The three wizards went up to the mountain and searched among the rocks, trying to see where the Great Eagle had ended up. They found it not too far up the slopes of the mountains. The bird was enormous. It was more than large enough to carry an adult man or elf. It was laying down, and its breathing was labored. It showed no fear when the wizards approached, not bothering to try to get up.

"My goodness," said Radagast. "What happened to you?"

The Eagle spoke with a great and mighty voice, but it pained it to do so. "I was shot by a poisoned Orc arrow. Even now, I can hardly move."

"Now," said Saruman, "let's see what the damage is, shall we?" He found the wound on the Eagle's back near the tail. It was a small cut resulting from being grazed by the arrow, but the poison had been delivered.

"This is beyond my ability to heal," said Saruman. "I will go and fetch Elrond. You will be better off in his care than in mine."

He traveled back to Orthanc and burst in on Elrond's family in the Palantír chamber. Elrond turned and looked at him.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt," said Saruman, "but I need your help immediately."

"What is it?" asked Elrond.

"You'll never believe it," said Saruman. "We spotted one of the Eagles of Manwë. He has a poisoned wound, and I need you to cure it."

"Very well," said Elrond. "I'll see what I can do."

"Can we come too, Father?" asked Arwen. "Maybe we could help."

"No," said Elrond. "This is too important, and I have much more experience in healing than all three of you combined. Stay here and talk with your mother. I'll be back."

"Come on!" said Saruman. "We must hurry."

After getting some bandages from one of Saruman's storerooms, they hurried back to where the Great Eagle rested, and Elrond examined the wound.

"A common Orc poison," said Elrond. "Fast acting and painful, but quick and easy to cure. Nothing that some athelas can't help. Could you perhaps bring me some?"

"I know what that is," said Radagast. "I know all the plants of the earth and what conditions they grow in. I'll go and find some."

Radagast went off, leaving the others to wait for his return. Elrond used the bandages to help stop the bleeding.

"You must allow us to introduce ourselves," said Gandalf to the Eagle. "My name is Gandalf. These are my friends, Saruman and Elrond. The one who went off to get the athelas is Radagast."

"I know who you are," said the Eagle. "I was born in Aman in the First Age, and I have seen all the events of the world that have unfolded since then. I have been in the service of Manwë for a very long time. I am Gwaihir."

"Enough talking," said Elrond. "You must rest for now."

Soon, Radagast returned carrying a green weed with white flowers. He handed it to Elrond, who went about applying its healing properties to the wound. Once his work was done, the wound was no longer bleeding at all, and Gwaihir's breathing sounded less laborious.

"Incredible," said Gwaihir. "I can feel my strength returning already."

"You're still not strong enough to fly yet," said Elrond. "You should probably wait a day before attempting that."

"Thank you all," said the Great Eagle. "I thought that I was doomed for sure. I will try to return the favor if I can. You see, the Valar have put me and my kin under the same kind of restrictions as the wizards. We cannot fight the Free Peoples' battles for them. I will help you when it is convenient for me, and only in the greatest of need."

"We're glad to help you," said Saruman. "I don't think that I will be needing your services. Helping you was of no sacrifice to me, so I do not demand any payment."

"You just go back to doing whatever it is you do," said Elrond. "We don't mind."

"Where will you go while you wait for your strength to return?" asked Gandalf.

"I might just rest here in the shadow of the mountains," said Gwaihir. "Or I might go down into Saruman's valley. It doesn't really matter."

"Is there anything else we can do for you?" asked Radagast.

"No," said Gwaihir. "I am perfectly content to lay right here and rest for now. Thank you all."

"It was our pleasure," said Saruman. He and his companions left the Eagle to rest, and they went back down into the Wizard's Vale.

"I'm honestly surprised that you wanted to help him, Saruman," said Radagast. "You're always going on about how great the Children of Eru are, and you always go out of your way to belittle the birds and beasts of the world."

"I beg your pardon?" said Saruman.

"For the entire time I've known you," said Radagast, "you've shown nothing but hatred towards animals, acting like they're beneath you just because they're born with features such as fur or feathers instead of human skin. You treat them with such disrespect, and it's entirely irrational."

The words made Saruman want to beat Radagast to a bloody pulp with his staff, but he restrained himself. "None of what you just said is true. Your argument is the equivalent of making a straw man and destroying it, claiming to have deconstructed my position, when, in reality, that is not my position at all. You just misrepresented my opinions, which I can only sum up to being intellectual dishonesty."

"We really don't need to be having this argument," said Elrond.

"Silence," commanded Saruman, and the voice of the White Wizard quelled any further interruptions.

"Now," continued Saruman, "allow me to state what I actually believe, not these lies that you have perpetuated. You assume that my opinions come from hatred of beasts. Actually, my opinions come from my love for the Children of Eru. There's a big difference. It is true that I believe the majority of animals to be lesser creatures. That is because the ultimate moral standard of my philosophy is rationality. There is no necessary conflict of interest among rational people. They know that they are entitled to the fruits of their own labor, and not that of anyone else. That is what makes them good. They are neither masters nor slaves. Irrational people desire what does not belong to them. They believe that they are entitled to that which they do not earn. They believe that the intelligent, the competent, and the productive should be slaves to the lazy and the incompetent. The choice to be irrational is what makes them evil. Most animals do not have any capacity to be rational, so they do not have any choice. They rely on instinct. When a wolf is hungry, it will eat you if it can. If a man is hungry, he will try to bargain with you. He will offer you something in return if you give him food. Because most animals cannot choose between rationality and irrationality, they are not worth evaluating in terms of morality."

"Then what about Gwaihir?" asked Radagast. "He's just a bird. Do you not look down on him because of his animalistic inability to be rational?"

"That's why I said 'most' animals," said Saruman. "The Eagles of Manwë are obviously highly intelligent, and they can be reasoned with. Gwaihir offered us a favor in return for saving his life. That is undeniable proof that he is a rational being. Even creatures that do not have the capacity to speak can show rationality in some sense. When you train a dog or a horse, you are offering it food, shelter, and companionship in return for the services that it provides. Compare this to the dragon Smaug. He is incredibly intelligent and has the capacity to be rational. However, he deliberately chooses to be irrational. That makes him evil, and that is what makes me think that he is lower than a mindless insect. He offered the dwarves of Erebor nothing in return for their gold. Much unlike domesticated animals, with which human interactions produce mutual profit for both parties."

"What about animals that people eat?" countered Radagast. "What about cows and pigs and chickens? They don't get anything out of their relationship with humans when they are eaten."

"We can eat them because they do not offer us anything else," said Saruman. "Their capacity for rationality is not anywhere near as great as horses, dogs, and even household pets. Because they have little to no ability to be rational, food is their primary use. Until they develop the ability to conduct business with us, that is their lot in life."

"It's all just business to you, isn't it, Saruman?" said Radagast. "Your favorite things in the world are profits, whether it's money or emotional profit. That just proves that you are cold and heartless."

"Your words only prove that you do not know what profit is. Ultimately, profit represents what you have produced. You cannot earn more than you produce. So, profit represents what you have given in return for what you have gained. I don't see anything wrong with that. How dare you speak to me of irrationality? You have put no thought into how you evaluate good and evil, so leave the questions of morality to someone who knows what he's talking about."

Radagast, having no words left, stormed off.

"I am truthfully worried that he might be insane," said Saruman.

"I wouldn't worry about him," said Gandalf. "He'll get over it."

In an attempt to relax after the argument, Elrond went back to Orthanc while Gandalf watched Saruman return to his round of golf.

Author's note: If this chapter was either really boring or really infuriating, I totally understand. Not everybody is interested in my philosophical ramblings, and some people will probably be very angry with me over my philosophical beliefs, and that's okay with me. I get it. So, does this chapter expose Saruman as a cold, emotionless businessman? I'll let you decide. But the answer is no.