Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or anything relating to them, just borrowing them to satisfy my stupid brain. Any references to real life events; anything I may have read, seen or heard are completely unintentional and coincidental. I gain nothing from this other than to finally get this idea to stop repeating in my head. So please don't sue me or threaten to kill me. if this offends you in any way or it just plain sucks, I apologize that you've wasted several minutes of your life you'll never get back. Just pretend you never saw this, know for future reference to avoid it at all costs should you ever see the title again, and go on with your life. Any and all mistakes are mine. Also, any names, places or references are purely fictional!
A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews mikkir, Kirky123, GSRCSILVR25, Harley Quinn Davidson and Chhi !!! Better late than never on this chapter. I'm switching shifts so my body is really messed up right now...I miss sleeping. Anyway, here's another one for you all. I may not be able to post tomorrow, but I'll really try. Thanks so much everyone for sticking with me. I hope you enjoy this. Take care everyone.
Well, it's been 2 days now since Sara triggered the vent and squeezed my hand a little. It seems every day she moves around a bit more, but she hasn't opened her eyes yet. Although, yesterday they did start to wean the vent settings, which is amazing. It looks like her lungs are healing well, but aren't strong enough to breathe completely on their own; but we are getting there.
They told me once they wean her off the vent completely and are satisfied she's stable enough, they will extubate her and move her to a different floor to focus more on rehab. It will be a bitter sweet moment I'm sure, because the ICU staff here have been great.
All the guys are back to work now, but come to visit daily. Grissom has given me all the time off I need; plus I do have a fair bit of vacation time saved as well.
Jim is still really shaken up though. He's seeing the same psychiatrist as I am. He hasn't told me all the details of what he saw that day, and I don't want to ask him until he's ready, but I know it must have been traumatizing.
Sara seems very restless today. I hope she's not in pain. Although, she's still on the same heavy duty painkillers.
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I feel like I've been hit by a damn bus! What the hell is going on?! I have no idea where I am, who I am or what's happening. I'm trying not to panic, but I can't move...or even hold a thought...what's going on again? And whatever has decided to sit on my chest, kindly remove your damn ass! My chest is killing me!
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"Sara honey, it's Catherine. Are you okay? Can you squeeze my hand if you hear me or open your eyes for me babe?" I ask while squeezing Sara's hand.
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Whoa, okay what's that?! Are you talking to me? Why can't I see you mystery voice? What's going on?! I think I know you...I feel comfortable when I hear your voice. Why the hell can't I figure out what's going on?! What's wrong with me?!
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"What's going on Sara sweetheart? Try to relax babe. It's me Catherine. You're not alone dear, your safe here. Try not to fight the tube, it's helping you breathe, you can't talk hun." I say noticing Sara begin to struggle and fight the ventilator. I hit the call button to get a nurse. I'm afraid Sara may be in distress.
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Okay, this is not cool, I don't like this! I have no control over my body and it's freaking me out! I can hear you, but I can't figure out how to respond. My thoughts are so cloudy and disjointed. I know who I am...I think...but I can't get to concentrate long enough to figure out what's going on. Come on Sara think! What's the last thing you remember?
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"Sara, squeeze my hand if you can hear me love. Don't be afraid I'm here with you. You're going to be okay." I say still waiting for a nurse. She's definitely trying to respond or something...I just hope this is normal.
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Oh come on! Stupid brain! I can't think! I'm trying to squeeze your hand, I can hear you...but I can't even tell if my body is doing what I tell it. Please keep talking, it's the only thing I can grasp before my mind trails off again.
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I was just about to slam down the call button again as a nurse enters.
"Hi Catherine, what's going on dear." The young nurse James says as he rushes in.
"Sara seems to uncomfortable or something. She's fidgeting a lot and is making a groan noise every once and awhile. But she is squeezing my hand now...at least I think." I say while standing up.
"Okay Sara, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." James says while coming to stand next to me and placing Sara's hand in his own.
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Okay, I don't know who you are, but fine. Take that...I think...
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"Yeah, I definitely felt that too. This is excellent. She's responding on command. The neurologist has been reading up on Sara and will be coming in for a full assessment tomorrow I think. But I'll let her doctor know about her improvement. He thinks she could wake up any moment now." James says while pulling out his penlight and checking Sara's pupil response.
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Okay, now I really don't like you! What the hell was that bright light for? That hurt! What the hell is going on here?! Where am I and what the hell happened?! I feel like I'm trapped!
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Sara's whole body twitched as James flashed the light in her eyes and now she seems really agitated. She's groaning against the ventilator again and it's breaking my heart.
"It's okay Sara, you're okay babe. We just have to check you out love. Your safe here Sara, I'm with you my love." I say while taking Sara's hand once more and kissing her forehead.
"I'm just going to grab her a mild sedative to calm her down a little. I don't want her straining her lungs too much too fast." James says while leaving the room.
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I know your comforting voice...Catherine! Catherine help me! I don't know what's going on! Where am I? Where are you?! Why can't I hold a damn thought?!
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"Try and relax Sara. Your nurse is going to give you something to help you relax babe." I say trying to help calm her down.
She's still really struggling now. I wonder what's going through her beautiful head.
Just as I lean down and kiss her again, the most beautiful sight I have ever seen finally happened. Sara slowly opened her eyes and desperately tried to look around. Even though I was right in front of her, she couldn't seem to focus on anything. Her gaze was wild and clouded over.
"Hi Sara! Welcome back babe. You just rest, I'm taking care of you my love." I say with a huge smile on my face.
She manages to blink a few times before her eyes start sluggishly rolling back and then finally close once again.
I keep rubbing Sara's face until James comes back needle in hand.
"She opened her eyes for a few seconds! But then they rolled back and closed again. But that's a good sign right? Does that mean there isn't any brain damage?" I ask James all in one breath.
"That's excellent Catherine. I can't tell you for sure about the brain damage. You can ask the doctor when he comes. He should be in for rounds within the hour." James says before injecting the liquid into Sara's IV.
"Okay, I understand thanks. I'm just really nervous still. But I'm so happy she's finally responding." I say holding her hand again.
"Remember, once we can start decreasing the pain meds we'll get a better idea. She's still probably high up in the clouds with all this stuff." James says before leaving again.
"Thank you Sara, thank you for not leaving me." I say as I pull down the bed side rails and lay my head next to hers.
I know I should probably tell the guys, but I need to take all this in myself first. I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes and when the guys or the doctor comes in I'll get up. Sara's not the only one up in the clouds right now...I'm happily up there on cloud nine too. I'm getting my girl back.