Later that night...
Callie's POV
After meeting Teddy and Addison at Joes, I had offered to let Addison spend the night with us. She said she would be staying at a hotel, and that I should spend some alone time with Arizona. When her and I had some time alone, I had told her the rest of the story of how Arizona was hurt by Kristin, and how things have been for us since it all happened. She agrees with Arizona on how Mark negatively affects our relationship. I don't blame her for it or hold it against her for agreeing with Arizona, and I don't blame Arizona for feeling the way she does either; but what no one knows, is why I've let him be around me so much.
No matter how much I think about it, I could never come up with the words to tell her exactly why, without potentially making her feel bad. I always end up torn when it comes to telling Mark when he's hanging around too much. He needs a friend right now, and when I needed a friend he was there for me. I could never tell her the truth without bringing up Africa, which I don't like to do. We've tried to put Africa behind us, and I feel that she's already had her share of crap thrown her way because of it. I should tell her the truth, but I don't want her to have to keep hearing about that mistake she made.
I remained quiet on the way home, and got right into bed. I've been laying here for about an hour with my eyes closed. Not sleeping, just thinking. I hear her enter the bedroom, closing the door behind her and shuffle around as she changes her clothes. Leaving my eyes closed, I feel her crawl into bed beside me.
"Calliope?"
I open my eyes to find sitting up in bed, and her blue eyes staring down at me.
"Can we talk?" She asks.
"About what?" I mumble. I'm pretty tired right now, but don't want her to think I'm dismissing her feelings.
She hesitates for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Umm...Mark"
"What about him?" I ask, although I clearly already know the answer.
She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. I wait patiently for whatever she is about to say, because she is obviously having a hard time coming up with the words.
"I just...I know he's your best friend and he's having a tough time right now, but lately I feel like you would rather spend more time with him than me." She says sadly.
"You know that's not true Arizona" I answer immediately, sounding more snappy than I want to. I instantly regret my tone, when I see her look down sadly. "...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that."
"Can I ask you something?" She asks.
"Of course"
When I notice her sense of discomfort, I bring myself into a sitting position, turning slightly so I can face her. She does the same, mirroring my position.
"Why do you let him invade our space all the time?" she blurts out, her facial expression falling even more. "...I'm sorry that didn't come out right.."
"I don't...well.." I start to defend myself before she interrupts me.
"You do!" She snaps. "...last week he came barging in the apartment during the ONE dinner you promised we could eat alone that week, he comes barging in the apartment without knocking all the time, walks into the bedroom when your half naked...your body is for my eyes only, NOT his..and you don't even seem to care when he see's you like that...he's here all the time and Im tired of feeling like I have to compete with him for time with you, because I shouldn't have to..to begin with." she finishes.
"Arizona, he's my best friend and he's..."
"I know he's your best friend...and I know he's having a hard time!" She snaps back, clearly annoyed. "...but I'm your girlfriend...and lately I feel like you only put me first when you feel like it, it's always him...it's only me, when it's convenient for you.." By the time she is done, I can tell she is having a hard time maintaining composure. She's definitely on the verge of tears, and even though we're fighting, I still hate to see her so upset.
By now, she is clearly annoyed and aggravated, instead of hesitant and nervous like she was when she first came in here. She shakes her head in frustration and grabs a pillow as she gets out of bed.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
She stops just before the door way and turns around. "Oh, so you do care?" She huffs.
"Of course I care..." I say softly, trying not to lose my cool. "..I love you...please just..."
She turns around and leaves the room, shouting over her shoulder as she slams the bedroom door behind her. "Save it, I'm sleeping in the spare room. I don't want to argue with you anymore tonight."
When the door slams, I jerk slightly at the noise. With a heavy sigh, I lay back down and let my thoughts run wild. Do I go after her? What if I do, and I upset her even more?
I hear the living room TV turn on, but can't bring myself to get up and talk to her. The last thing I want to do right now is make things worse between us. I feel bad enough as it is, because I know she's right. I haven't always put her first, and how I let it get to this point is beyond me. I let it happen, and the guilt is eating away at me.
After about an hour and a half of tossing and turning, I suddenly realize that the TV is no longer on. I get out of bed, and venture out into the dark living room where Arizona is no where to be found. Careful not to trip over anything in the dark, I make my way to the spare bedroom. After quietly cracking the door open, I am instantly met with the sound of Arizona's sniffles and quiet cries. My heart breaks in the most painful way possible, knowing that I am the reason she is crying.
I step into the room quietly, unsure of whether or not she hears me come in.
"Arizona?"
"w...what?" She responds weakly. Her voice is slightly raspy.
I make my way over to the bed, kneeling down beside it and turning on the small light on the nightstand. She squints from the light before closing her tear filled eyes.
I quickly reach over, shutting the light off. "Crap! I'm sorry...I'm sorry" I blurt out.
"What do you want?" She asks sadly.
I slowly reach out, feeling around for her in the dark room. I pull my sleeve down over my hand, wiping away her tears.
"Please come back to bed with me. I can't sleep without you" I admit.
"I can't sleep without you either" She chokes out, starting to cry again.
I bring myself up, to place light kisses on her tear stained cheek. "Shhh please don't cry...god I'm an ass please, please... don't cry, I can't stand seeing you cry..."
I remove the covers, helping her out of bed and take her in my arms. She wraps her arms around me, gripping my shirt tightly with her hands.
"I'm so sorry" I murmur against the top of her head, as it rests on my chest.
"I know" She mumbles sleepily.
I release my hold on her. "Let's get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow okay?" I offer. I take her hand, leading her out of the room, stopping to grab her pillow off the couch in the way to the bedroom.
Once we get settled into bed, I pull the covers over us. I want so badly to hold her, but don't know if she would rather be left alone. Taking a chance, I hesitantly scoot closer.
"Can I hold you?" I ask.
"Please do" She replies softly.
I wrap an arm around her and hold her tightly, dropping a light kiss on her shoulder.
"You know that I love you...right?" I ask.
"I do know that. I love you too"
The Next Day...
This morning when I woke up, Arizona wasn't in my arms. She wasn't even home. She left the apartment before I even woke up, and has been avoiding me all day. I rushed to get ready, hoping to get to the hospital in time, to find her and talk to her before morning rounds. Unfortunately, things didn't go as I had planned. Needing more caffeine, I enter the attending's lounge, where Teddy is sitting on a small couch reading a magazine. Assuming Arizona had told her what happened, this could be awkward.
As I pour myself some coffee, she doesn't look up from the magazine until the door opens. I turn around, stirring the sugar in my coffee and see Addison has entered the room. She shuts the door behind her, crosses her arms and gives me a strange look.
I look to Teddy, who shrugs, like she doesn't know what's going on.
"I take it she told you" I say to Teddy.
"She may or may not have..." She responds.
"and I may or may not have been present at the time" Addison says.
Knowing there is no way to escape the lecture that Addison is so clearly about to give me, I make my way over to the small table and sit down.
"Callie..." Addison starts, making her way over to the table and sitting down.
"I know I screwed up..." I interrupt, but she isn't having it.
"I'm going to talk and you are going to listen" She snaps, half jokingly but still with a hint of seriousness. I look to Teddy who is listening intently, before shifting my gaze back to Addison.
"Yes, you did screw up. I say this as your friend...and because your girlfriend is so lovable it's irritating.." She jokes. "...you need to fix this. Don't let anything or anyone come between you two again, you've already come so far...too far to throw it all away over continuous arguments about the same things. I was around for some of your past..relationships. She's the only one I've ever thought was right for you..."
Just as I'm about to respond, she talks again.
"Do NOT screw this up Callie" She adds.
I turn to Teddy, desperate for answers. "What did she say to you?"
Teddy hesitates for a moment, unsure of whether or not Arizona would want her saying anything to me. There is also a hint of her wanting to help.
"She hasn't said much. But I get the feeling that she...sometimes feels like maybe you don't love her as much as she loves you, or that you aren't as committed to her as she is to you." Teddy replies.
Ouch! The truth hurts, but definitely needs to be told...
"No..I mean, about last night?" I ask, switching topics away from the painful truth I was just told..
"Just that she tried to talk to you and couldn't get through to you, maybe...I don't know, she was really upset when I talked to her." Teddy answers, sadly.
"You wanted kids with her..." Addison pauses until I focus my attention on her. "...she said she would have kids with you. You wanted to be with her, and she came back from Africa because she loves you that much, that she gave up the biggest opportunity of her medical career...you...wanted her to be more open with you, and she's been trying so hard...but Callie it can't always be about what you need, it has to be about her too. I'm not saying this to hurt you, I'm saying this because I'm your friend and I care about you ...and Arizona."
"What should I do?" I ask, shifting my attention back and fourth between both of them. "What if she won't forgive me?" I've made the same frigging mistakes so many times...what if it's too much for her...
"She will..." Teddy assures me. "...she loves you, she'll forgive you."
"Listen to her..." Addison says softly. "...let her talk to you, and tell you how she feels without getting so defensive about everything..."
"She needs to know that her feelings matter to you" Teddy chimes in.
"Her feelings do matter to me..." I defend. oops...I really do need to work on not getting so damn defensive.
"Then you need to show her that...saying it, and proving it are two different things." Addison points out.
Arizona enters the room, and we immediately stop the conversation. She looks sad and sleep deprived. She hesitates in the door way as we lock eyes, and then turns to leave.
When the door closes, Addison clears her throat.
"Go after her" Teddy says, gesturing to the door.
"Okay..." I sigh, standing up. "...I'm going after her.."
"Yeah you are" Addison says with a smile.
I quickly make my way to the door, leaving my coffee on the table.
"Hurry up" Teddy calls, just before I'm about to close the door.
I shut the door behind me, and quicken my pace to catch up to her.
Arizona's POV
After avoiding her all day for various reasons, seeing Calliope just now was the last thing I expected. Not knowing what to say or do, I close the door and make my way to the nearest on call room. All day I've used every bit of energy I have, to contain my emotions.
Aside from the obvious reasons that I am upset, there is the fact that I feel bad for walking away from her last night, and leaving her this morning. As I'm heading down the hall way, I quickly glance over my shoulder, secretly hoping that she is following me so I know that she at least cares enough not to let me run away. While I'm mad at her right now, I still love her with all of my heart; and even though I've purposely avoided her all day, a small part of me wanted nothing more then to have her hold me and tell me how much she loves me.
It is moments like that; where even when we are fighting, that I am reminded of how strong our love for one another is, and that we will get through whatever problems we are faced with.
"Arizona, please wait!" She pleads.
Without responding, I enter an on call room and lean against the closed door as a few tears finally spill over.
"Please let me in" She says, trying to open the door.
I step away, allowing her to enter. I quickly wipe my tears away while she closes the door, hoping she won't notice.
Without a word, she closes the gap between us; taking me securely in her arms, a silent plea for me to not walk away again.
"I'm sorry...for...everything. You are the most important part of my life and I fail so much at proving that to you. But...I promise things are going to be different." She says sincerely. "...I promise" She ads in a shaky voice.
When she loosens her hold on me, I keep my arms wrapped around her and resting on the area of her lower back. I pull back slightly took look her in the eyes. All I see is love and adoration. Through everything, arguing or not, it's all I ever see.
"I'm sorry I left this morning..." I say sadly.
"Don't be sorry.." She kindly interrupts. "...tonight, I am all yours. I'll get dinner on the way home and we'll talk about everything..okay? No unlocked doors, no phones...just me and you."
I blink and nod.
"I love you" I say softly.
"I love you too" She peppers my face with kisses, until I smile, dimples clearly showing. "...there's that beautiful smile that I love so much" She says, smiling back at me. "...I'll see you later"
We head our separate ways to finish the work day. As I work through the rest of my day there is only one thing on my mind, my beautiful Calliope.
Talking through problems, often leads to arguments. Arguments often lead to held grudges and heavy emotions. But through it all, our love for one another is always present. Before I had her in my life, I never actually believed that love could truly conquer all; and now, I am certain it can.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Sorry for lack of updates. I've been busy and...I don't update this one as often because it isn't as popular as the other story I'm working on. I also re-arranged the plot of some chapters, to add in some topics people asked me to include in the story(a much needed talk about Callie's relationship with Mark being one of them...Callie actually listening without cutting Arizona off, being another-the others I won't spoil for you in an authors note haha). Next chapter is a continuation of this one, including a much needed and long talk. I was going to include the talk in this one but I wanted to try and make it somewhat long, and this chapter was already getting long enough as it is. Please review, it's always appreciated =)