X-Sammii-X, it would be interesting if Kate found out what Lily did to Alicia - I don't think Alicia would tell her, but Louise might! Kate doesn't take offence easily, which should help her friendship with Lily. Thank you for your review.

Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. I'm really happy the characters are coming over well. I tried to write them the way Kate sees them. Sometimes Lily is just another doctor, there to perform a job, but to Kate, she's always an individual.

CBloom2, I'm afraid Ethan isn't quite ready to go back to his normal self - possibly in the next chapter! Cal didn't seem that interested in Kate, but he might be jealous because Ethan's got someone and he hasn't. Thank you for your review.

20BlueRoses, thank you for your review - I'm glad the chapter was better than I thought! I'm glad you like the way the character interact. One good thing about Kate is she doesn't really have any idea of a 'right' way to be and behave - she accepts everyone as they are.

Kate had spent most of the morning feeling nervous, but that faded when she saw Ethan hovering nervously outside the shop. She smiled at him and felt her heart flutter as he returned the smile. "I'll be two minutes, Ethan."

Once she'd finished serving her customers, she got coffees for herself and Ethan, and they went outside. Ethan was looking a bit shy but not unhappy.

"So, um, how was your morning so far?" said Ethan.

Kate smiled. "It was good, thanks. I love working there. I love gradually getting to know the people who work here, but I also love meeting someone once and just getting the tiniest glimpse into their lives. How's your day been?"

"Not bad," said Ethan. "Thank you. A few patients who didn't really need to come to the ED, but some of them have a much more sensible attitude to their health than the emergency patients. I can hardly believe the things they get up to sometimes." He looked slightly apologetic. "I would tell you more, but it's confidential."

"Oh, that's fine," said Kate. "I understand. I get told some quite confidential things by the relatives sometimes. Even though I'm not bound by confidentiality as you are, there are some things you need to keep to yourself."

A worried look came into Ethan's beautiful eyes. "But if you ever hear anything that distresses you, you can always come and talk to me."

"Thank you," said Kate. "And if there's anything you need to talk about that isn't confidential, you can always come and talk to me."

Ethan smiled. "I think I might do. It was good talking to you yesterday."

Kate looked into his eyes. She felt momentarily disorientated and was almost surprised to discover she was still sitting on a bench outside the ED. "Ethan, I was wondering."

"Yes?" said Ethan.

"I'm going for a drink with Lily after work tonight," said Kate. "But maybe tomorrow, would you like to go and have dinner?"

Something showed for the briefest moment in Ethan's eyes – Kate would have described it as surprise or happiness – but then a shutter seemed to come down over his face. "I don't do dates. You know why."

"I know you don't do relationships," said Kate. "And I accept that, even though I think any girl would be lucky to be your girlfriend. Both now and in the future. But I'm not thinking about a relationship, Ethan. Just dinner."

Ethan's lips parted as though he was about to speak. There was an expression almost of yearning in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Kate. I really am. If things were different…" He drained his coffee quickly and stood up. "I have to get back to work."

"Ethan, wait," said Kate. "It doesn't have to be a date. We could just be friends."

"Of course we can be friends," said Ethan. His voice shook slightly. "I hope we'll always be friends. But I can't have dinner with you, Kate. I'm so sorry, but I can't."

He bent down, kissed her on the cheek and walked quickly away.

Kate wanted to go after him and hug him, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. Ethan was convinced that even a friendly dinner was a bad idea and there was nothing she could do to change that.

She was sad for her own sake, of course. Sad that she'd missed out on the loveliest, kindest, most incredible man she'd ever met. But most of all, she was sad for Ethan.

He didn't deserve this. Nobody did, but definitely not Ethan.

Kate felt so helpless. She could give Alicia a painkiller; ensure that Noel didn't eat his lunch alone; help a dyslexic boy to read the menu; provide temporary sanctuary for Taylor; and help Lily to learn to become more comfortable socially.

But there was nothing she could do for Ethan. If she was a doctor, perhaps she could have researched Huntington's and worked to discover a cure, but she wasn't a doctor and even if she did somehow manage to become one, there was no guarantee her research would be successful.

Ethan was completely beyond her reach. If he kept on pushing people away, he would be beyond everyone's reach. Locked in his own bubble of sadness. Just waiting for the moment when the disease destroyed his life.

"Hello, Kate. May I sit down?"

Kate looked up to see Lily. "Yes, of course. Please do." She wasn't in the mood for company, but she didn't want to push people away as Ethan was doing - especially someone as sensitive as Lily.

Lily sat down. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," said Kate. "I was just talking to Ethan." She searched Lily's face, trying to work out how much she knew, but Lily's face remained blank.

"Do you know Ethan well?" she asked, rather abruptly.

"Not really," said Kate. "But he has… confided in me."

Lily's posture stiffened slightly. "About what?"

Kate wanted to tell her. She wanted to share the burden with someone who knew Ethan and would understand, but she knew she couldn't. Lily's manner might mean she did know about Ethan's Huntington's and she was wondering if Kate knew – or it could mean that she knew there was something but didn't know what and was wondering if Kate mighttell her.

Even if she did know, they probably shouldn't be discussing it.

"No, you are right," said Lily at last. "I can't say what I know so I can't expect you to do the same."

"I want to help him," said Kate.

"So do I," said Lily. "I can understand a little of his feelings. Some of it is outside my experience, but I know what it's like to lose a parent. My father died a few months ago."

Kate touched her hand gently. "I'm sorry, Lily."

"I thought it would help Ethan," said Lily. "To have a colleague who understands what it's like. But perhaps it wouldn't help. Ethan has already lost one mother. He lost his adoptive mother on the day I met him. But that did not prepare him."

Kate shook her head. "No matter how many parents you lose, it's probably not something you can get used to. We're individuals and our parents are individuals so no two relationships can be quite the same. Even Cal probably can't know exactly how Ethan feels."

"No. perhaps not," said Lily. She released her breath in a sigh. "There is so much I don't understand with personal relationships."

"There will always be people whose feelings and actions we don't understand," said Kate. "We see things in different ways – and we're not all in the same situation anyway. But I think sometimes you don't need to understand. Sometimes just accepting it is enough - and accepting often leads to understanding."

"Hey, Nibbles," Cal called out cheerfully as Ethan passed, but his brother didn't seem to hear. Cal looked at him more closely, noticing the compressed lips, the frown and the anger in his eyes. "Ethan, are you okay?"

He swept past Cal into the staff room. A moment later, Cal heard a crash.

Cal stood still for a moment, too stunned to move, but then he dropped the file he was holding and ran towards the staff room as a scream of anguish rent the air.

"Why?" shouted Ethan. "Why, why, why, why, WHY ME?"

Cal raced through the door. Ethan had stopped shouting now. He was bent almost double, his hands on his knees, breathing hard. Cal went over to him and wrapped his arms around him as he tried to pull Ethan up into a standing position. "Come on, Ethan. Stand up. It's okay."

"How is it going to be okay?" yelled Ethan. His next words were a whisper. "How is it ever going to be okay?"

With some effort, Cal pulled him upright and supported him as they walked over to the sofa, manoeuvring around the stool lying in the centre of the room: the stool Ethan had obviously thrown to the floor.

"Come on, Ethan. It's okay," said Cal. He didn't know why he'd said that. It was obvious to him it wasn't okay.

Cal pushed Ethan gently down onto the sofa and sat beside him, his arms still around them. Ethan, breathing heavily, snatched his glasses from his face and hid his face in his hands.

Cal stroked circles on Ethan's back. "What happened, Nibbles? You can tell me."

At first, it seemed Ethan wouldn't answer, but then he spoke as though the words were being dragged from his throat. "Kate asked me out."

Cal was about to say it was brilliant, but he could tell Ethan didn't agree. "And you said no?" he said, his voice gloomy.

Ethan lifted his head and glared at his brother. "What else was I going to say?"

"Well, you could have said yes."

"Of course I couldn't have said yes!" snapped Ethan. "What kind of life can I offer her? I explained all this to her yesterday. I thought she'd got it. I thought she understood. But now she's asking me out?"

"Maybe what you said didn't change her feelings," said Cal. "Maybe it doesn't make any difference to her."

"Well, it should do," said Ethan, his eyes full of angry tears. "If she'd thought about this properly, she'd understand why it was impossible. Instead, she's just like everyone else. Pretending nothing has changed. Pretending I'm just a normal person."

Cal rubbed Ethan's back and tried to understand. "Isn't that what you want, Ethan? For everything to continue as normal?"

"Of course it's what I want!" burst out Ethan. He dragged his hands across his eyes. "But how can they? I'm not normal. I'm not going to have a normal life!"

"You can, Ethan," said Cal. "Your life could be normal for another thirty years."

"Normal? How is it going to be normal?" screamed Ethan. "Maybe I can do all the normal things. Sleep with girls. Get married. Have kids. But what happens then, Caleb? Half my kids are going to get this gene and feel exactly the same way I do now and it will be my fault. My wife will end up being my carer. How is that fair? At least this way, the only one who gets hurt is me." Ethan dropped his voice almost to a whisper. "And it does hurt, Caleb. It hurts more than anything. But I can't change it. I can't control it. The only thing I can control is ensuring the gene stops with me. So that's what I'm going to do." He began to sob. "But I don't want it, Cal. I don't want this life. Why me, Cal? Why does it have to be me?"