CHAPTER 21

Stephanie Meyer kicks my but because she owns this all

Thanks for all the reviews! Everyone is positive again! Lol that's great! I still have some crazy twists for you all! I'm so excited I just want to speed through the other chapters lol. Okay I know I know pace myself.

Really though I never thought I would get so many reviews, thank you all so much!

I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN letter at the bottom!

BPOV

Alice dragged me upstairs into her room, leaving confused Jasper behind.

"Alice," I groaned, "I don't want to go out, please."

"Bella we are going to get out of here for a while, we all need it." She said to me. I knew she was right but I didn't want to accept that just yet.

"But Alice why are we going to a restaurant you guys don't even eat!"

"But you do, we can fake it just fine. Come on Bella, please do this for me?" She pouted at me reflection in the mirror.

"Fine I grumbled and sat back as she curled my hair and added mascara. The she went to her closet and grabbed a dark blue dress and a pair of silver heels.

Groaning I slipped the dress on. "Alice why do I have to dress up?" I asked putting on the necklace.

"Because we are going out to a nice Italian restaurant. We need to get out of this house for a while I thought dressing up would be a nice change, dressing up and going out on the town, it's a part of the whole living again thing." She answered as if it were totally obvious.

Then I glanced down at the shoes that would surely make me fall. "Fine, we'll play your game for now. But do I have to wear heels?" I asked sadly.

"Yes." She answered smugly.

"Alice do you… do you think I'm ready for this? To go out and just… have fun again?" I wasn't sure I was ready. I don't know if I can take this big of a step just yet.

"Bella, I think you are more than ready. You have to start somewhere right?" I nodded feeling reassured yet still having to fight back the tears.

I was with my family; they were here to help me. They wouldn't lea e me, they would make me happy. I just had to keep telling myself this.

Then Alice grabbed my arm, "Let's go!" she said and led me downstairs. I hit the bottom of the steps and saw everyone's eyes widen.

"Hi?" I mumbled.

JPOV

What was Alice up too? I could figure out how going out to eat all dressed up was in anyway a part of her plan. Then she danced down the stairs in a little silver dress.

And Bella followed behind her. "Hi," She said unsure

She had a deep blue strapless dress that seemed to make her skin glow. Her hair was gently curled and she had only a little make up on that made her eyes pop even more.

She was stunning, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, I realized. Everything about her was amazing, the warmth of her skin, the way she bites her lip when she is nervous, her soft hair, her easy laugh.

That smile that could light up a room like no one else could.

She was so perfect, so gentle, so kind, so caring. How could someone like that love me? She didn't even know all of my past, of the monster I once was, the monster that, let's face it, I still am. Yet I couldn't help this feeling I was getting…

Shit, I realized, I'm falling in love with her. Alice was right, I was falling in love with Bella, despite the fact that she had lost Edward and was just coming out of the depressed state of losing him. Despite the fact that I just broke up with Alice, despite the fact that she was in love with someone she could now never have.

I loved her.

Crap, I'm so screwed.

Alice came over to me, smiling smugly and that was when everything clicked into place. She had done all of this, knowing my reaction. Knowing I would admit it to myself. Damn little pixie knew me too well.

"that's what I thought." She whispered.

"Alice I… what am I supposed to do now?" I asked her, hoping the psychic would have the answers.

"Be a friend, she'll come when she is ready." Alice said simply. Easier said than done.

"Okay, let's all go get in the jeep!!" She said happily and glanced over at me.

"We won't all fit Alice." Rosalie said coming up beside me.

"Oh true," Alice frowned, "Well, Jasper why don't you and… Bella take the Mercedes?" She looked over at Bella for confirmations. She shrugged.

"Fine by me." She said taking my arm, "Come On Jasper, let's go." She smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back at her.

Oh yeah… this is not good.

BPOV

I got into the Mercedes with Jasper; his mind seemed to be otherwise occupied. I got a chance to get a good look at him now. He wore black slacks, with a black button up dress shirt. His golden hair was curled in its usual way. He looked just like he always did, absolutely heart stopping. But then again what vampire didn't?

Honestly I was so grateful for Jasper, he really has helped me get through all of this. He was a friend when I needed one, and a shoulder to cry on when I felt like dying. He was amazing to me, I don't think I would be here without him.

"Bella?" Jasper glance over and me and smiled, it was the smile I saw a lot on him, not quite a full on smile, but not quite crooked. It was his own.

"What are suddenly so grateful for?" He laughed.

"You," I said honestly, something softened in his eyes as I continued to speak, "I was thinking about how you have helped me through everything. And how I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. You have kind of been my rock." I smiled when he smiled at me.

"Bella I told you I would never leave you, that includes when you are upset as you were these past few weeks. I'm just happy you are getting better." He reached over and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

I felt a shock of something- electricity?- go through my hand when he touched me. I gasped more from shock and Jasper quickly pulled his hand away, staring at it questioningly. We were both in shock.

What was that? I had no idea. I was confused now. I had just felt a shot of electricity when Jasper touched me… why? Obviously I was going insane. Of course, just my luck.

~*~*~

We got to the restaurant at the same time as the jeep. Jasper was over and quickly opening my door. I smiled and got out, only to be lifted off of the ground in a hug by Emmett. "Emmy. Can't. Breathe. Air." He set me down laughing.

He looked nice too, black slacks, and a red button up rolled up to his elbows. "Hey, no man purse, I mean satchel tonight." Jasper observed. I laughed and covered my mouth, trying to cover it up, but being very unsuccessful. Rosalie laughed harder when Emmett glared at her.

"You are just jealous, one day you'll need one and guess what? You won't have one so HA!" Emmett yelled happily. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Hello! Come on people!" Alice said skipping towards the front door. I don't see how her and Jasper could have broken up they are so perfect. Both beautiful and sweet, and they were just right for each other. Obviously they didn't think so… stupid blonde bimbo.

I'd admit it to myself, I didn't want Jasper with anyone else. It bothered me for reasons I couldn't fathom, thinking about him with another girl, stupid blonde….

"Bella?" Jasper laughed.

"Sorry." I muttered and walked beside him into the restaurant. Everyone turned and stared at us, well them, when we walked in. I laughed, thinking that none of them had a chance with them. But of course Jasper's new mate was coming soon from what Alice said. Great, she could be in here for all we know. I frowned at that though.

Jasper nudged me, I turned to him and he gave me a questioning look. I shrugged. He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder giving me a quick hug.

We were seated at a table farther in the back. "Um guys?" They all turned to me, "How are we going to do this? You all don't eat." I said and laughed.

"Oh I have the BEST idea ever!" Emmett said suddenly, "We can eat the food and then I don't throw it up later, or Bella can just eat all of our food." We were all silent for a moment.

"Emmett," Alice said slowly, "These good ideas will tear you're brain apart (A/N: xAracnaex!!)," She said shaking her head.

Jasper and I laughed, oh how true those words were. Emmett frowned and stuck his tongue out at Alice, who simply stuck her dainty tongue out right back at his. "Alright children." Rosalie laughed, "That's enough."

"Let's think of something else." Carlisle said, "Why don't we just order a big tray of food to 'share', and we'll ask for to-go boxes when we are finished and just take it home, that way it'll look like we all ate but didn't finish?"

"Works with me." I said, when the waitress came back, I ordered a coke while everyone else stuck with water. We ordered a big tray of appetizers, claiming that was all we wanted. She came back a moment later with the drinks and food.

She was a taller woman, probably twenty. She had long bleach blonde hair that she had put into a pony tail, and a hundred watt smile. Her ice blue eyes were focused on none other than Jasper. Oh joy, a blonde bimbo. I frowned again. Alice just laughed.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything else?" She asked sweetly her eyes on Jasper. She batted her eyelashes at him.

"No thank you ma'am." He smiled, and let his southern accent roll. He turned to alice and I and began talking, completely ignoring the waitress, I couldn't help it… I laughed. Alice knew my blonde bimbo theory, and she knew I was laughing because he ignored her. So she started laughing too. Which made me laugh harder, which, in turn, made her laugh harder.

"What's so funny?" Jasper asked smiling at us.

"You wouldn't understand." Alice said, "It's a girl thing." Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Why is that always an acceptable excuse for woman?" He asked turning to Carlisle.

"Ah son," Carlisle shook his head, "Only god knows. We men just have to learn to accept it, there is nothing we can do about it." Jasper shook his head.

Alice and I laughed a little more before I started eating. The talk around the table was friendlt, everyone was talking about different things. The Rosalie mentioned something about school.

"Shouldn't I be in school?" I asked suddenly.

"Carlisle called the school, told them that you all were on a trip to Italy for a while. And he didn't know the exact date you would be back yet. You are excused for now." Mom said smiling at me.

"Oh," I felt bad, lying and missing school.

"Don't worry dear, you needed a break. The school doesn't mind. And you are already ahead of the juniors and the seniors in the school. And of course so is everyone else here. It won't hurt to miss a little bit." I nodded knowing she was right.

The rest of the meal went well. I saw Alice and Jasper sharing a few secret glances, and I couldn't help but wonder what it was all about.

APOV

"Jasper," I whispered so no one else could hear, "I think she was jealous." I smiled at him.

"Of what?!" his volume matched mine.

"The waitress." I said as if it was obvious.

"Why would she be jealous of the waitress?!" He asked looking confused….. typical male. This is why women were deemed the smarter creatures. We understood simple things that seemed to make guys heads explode.

"She was flirting with you obviously," I explained, "You didn't notice?" he shook his head, "Well she was, Bella noticed and got angry." I laughed.

"That was why?" He asked shocked.

"Yupp." I smiled.

"What does it mean?" He asked, really not knowing.

"It means…. It's starting. I said and laughed again at his shocked expression.

~*~*~*~*~

BPOV

I changed into my night clothes, exhausted from the day. I couldn't help thinking about my reaction at the restaurant today. I had been angry… but why?

Because I knew he should be with Alice? That was what my head was telling me… but it didn't seem right. It was all just… weird.

I went downstairs and hugged Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Dad, and Mom goodnight. I couldn't find Jasper so I just went upstairs and got into my bed.

Nights were the hardest for me. The days could keep me distracted, I had things to do, people to talk to. But nights… nights I was along, and to make it all better nights reminded me of how Edward used to sit with me until I slept, and how he'd stay until I woke up.

I took a shaky breath trying to clear my mind of those thoughts. My mind drifted to first my conversation with Emmett and how Edward wanted me happy… Did that mean he would want me to fall in love again? Could I fall in love again?

Then my mind drifted again to Jasper in the car. What had happened? It was something I didn't understand and didn't really want to think about anymore.

Then there was a knock at my door. "Come in." I said groggily.

Jasper walked in and came to sit beside my bed. "You okay?" He asked, I nodded. He leaned down and kissed my cheek before giving me a tight hug.

"You looked beautiful tonight." He said smiling. I laughed.

"Gee thanks." I said.

"I mean it Bella, you looked wonderful, Darlin'" I smiled up at him. He put his hand on the side of my cheek for a moment, the electricity came back. I was shocked, but I didn't move. Neither did he. Then he stood slowly and began walking towards the door.

"Wait! Jasper, don't… don't leave please can you… can you stay here for a while… until I go to sleep? I don't want to be alone tonight." He smiled and came and sat back down beside my bed.

"I'd be honored to." He whispered.

And he did… he was there until I finally closed my eyes and slept.

JPOV

After a while, when I was sure she was asleep I left her room. Heard Alice downstairs, telling me to meet her outside. Sighing I went out the back door and bet her by the trees.

"Hello Alice." I said, knowing what was coming.

"Jasper." She looked over and smiled. "You realized it tonight huh?" I didn't say anything to this.

"Jasper." She said facing me, "I know you did I saw it in your eyes when she came downstairs. When you talked how you smiled. I know Jasper." Still I said nothing, "Jasper." Her voice was getting annoyed.

"Alice I don't know what you want me to say." I snapped, "There is a human girl in there, who just lost what was her world. She lost the man she thought she loved, she is just getting better. She told me tonight that it was because of me, because I was there, that was how she got better. I don't want to ruin that with her, Alice. I don't what to be the reason she hurts again, the reason she feels guilty.

So again, I don't know what you want me to say." The words came out in a rush, though I knew she understood.

"You want to know what I want you to say?" She set her hand on my shoulder, "I want you to tell me the truth, I want you to admit it to yourself and to me. Then whatever happens happens. But you have to admit it to yourself, Jasper."

I closed my eyes and sighed sadly. Slowly I opened them to look into her golden eyes.

"Damn it Alice, I think I love her." I whispered, she narrowed her eyes, "Okay, I love her. Somehow I managed to fall in love with a girl who is in love with my deceased brother."

Alice nodded, "Now we'll work everything out." She said.

I hoped I could believe her, that this pixie could make everything right.

A/N: Next chapter I've decided it will begin! Lol maybe or maybe the chapter after that idk lol. Hope you enjoyed! Send the quotes in! The next chapter will be much more interesting I swear! This was a bit of a filler and to get Jasper's feelings out in the open… poor jasper lol.

Thanks for all the reviews! Keep them coming

~ElissaB

I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN,

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