Otaku-chama: Hey y'all, sorry for the long long wait. I've been searching around other online writing sites trying to find a good place, but I realized no place was better than here! Well, I'm back!

Chapter 21: The Battle of Rings

"What?" I said, staring up at Xanxus. He looked out of breath and sweaty, and he also looked really mad about something. I sipped at my Earl Grey tea calmly, Sciolto doing the same across from me.

"DON'T JUST SIT THERE GOING ALL 'WHAT'!" Xanxus roared, scaring the living shit out of me and nearly making me drop my tea. "WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT SHIT TO SAVE YOU AND YOU'RE SITTING HERE WITH THE ENEMY DRINKING GOD-FUCKING-DAMN TEA?"

Wait, did he just say they were saving me? D'awww, that's sweet. Did that include Xanxus too? I felt the danger of a blush rising and quickly fought it down.

"Um, I'm fine. Sciolto here is really nice, we were just waiting for you." I gestured to Sciolto and smiled happily, and he smiled charmingly back.

I turned to Xanxus - and saw the barrel of his X-gun gleaming.

I threw myself out of my chair and dodged just in time, as a huge blast from his X-gun destroyed the table.

"Dammit, Xanxus, that could have killed me!" I yelled, then froze when I saw the look on Xanxus' face. Oh, lord. He was PISSED. He was even more pissed than that time when I stole all of his alcohol, and that man loves his alcohol. He had a look on his face that could wilt flowers. I found myself actually shrinking under his glare, staring at my shoes.

"Leave," He spat out. "I'm going to kill that Pesce Sciolto bastard. Stay out of my way." Then he turned around and stomped towards Sciolto, who was still sitting there, in his chair, calmly drinking tea like nothing just happened.

I backed up against the brick wall near the hole Xanxus had blasted out from. Oh my freaking ponies on a stick … I was scared. Of Xanxus. When did that ever happen? The only time I was ever scared of him before was when I first came to the Varia HQ and I thought he was going to kill me for sure.

This fucking sucked. Especially since I just realized I had feelings for said scary man. No, wait. Why the hell did I say that? I don't like him. Maybe a little, but it's purely platonic.

Oh, fuck, who am I kidding?

Oh, right. Me. Just keep on fooling myself, and I'll grow out of this phase.

A loud echoing blast shook through me, and I found myself pressed against the brick wall as debris came flying everywhere. Smoke invaded my sight, and all I could see for a long time was thick grey smoke, and the sounds of more echoing blasts in the distance and sounds of general brawling.

I coughed loudly, tears in my eyes from the smoke. When it finally begun to clear up, I could see flashes zooming around above me, like shooting stars. When the smoke finally dissipated, I realized it wasn't shooting stars - it was Xanxus, somehow using the blasts from his X-guns to fly through the air.

And … OH MY FUCKING GOD … Sciolto had wings.

I think I just saw my dream Italian guardian angel.

Then I frowned when I realized Sciolto didn't have the pure, snowy white wings of a guardian angel of my dreams. His wings were a light, smoky grey, the exact colour of the smoke. Maybe he's the one that caused it?

They were battling like crazy, moving so fast I could only see flashes of them up in the sky. From what I could see, Sciolto had a gun too.

Oh, shit. Dilemma here. Who should I cheer for?

Well, obviously I should cheer for Xanxus. But Sciolto was my sexy Italian dreamy hunkalicious man-candy and I didn't want to see his face get disfigured. But I didn't want Xanxus' unfortunately-rather-handsome-in-a-rugged-badass-gangster-way face get hurt either. Shit.

But, well, I am the Varia's maid, right? So I should cheer for the Varia, right?

Oh crap. What about the others? I have to go see if they're okay too!

"Hey, Xanxus?" I called out. "Uh, I'm going to go check on the others. Okay?"

They continued fighting. I didn't know whether it was because Xanxus didn't hear me, or he was ignoring me because he was still pissed at my tea-drinking.

"Okay, I'll just … be going … then …" I backed out through the hole in the wall, and then begun to walk down the hallways inside the mansion, on the lookout for any fighting inside.

I was walking for only like two minutes before I begun to hear the sounds of brawling. And from the extremely loud yelling, I deduced it was coming from Squalo.

I dashed down the hallways and finally came out to a huge, open space that looked like the mansion's front hall. It was a huge, circular space, and from the number of balconies and different levels I could see I was on the third floor. There was this huge-ass crystal chandelier the size of a car hanging from the ceiling.

And from what I could see, looking across the hall to the other side of the balcony opposite of me, Squalo and Aragosta were battling.

I ran down the hallway until I reached them. Squalo looked pissed off as usual, but otherwise uninjured except for a small bruise on his cheek. Aragosta, on the other hand, looked completely beat up. His long, impressive Chinese moustache was ragged, his clothes were torn up, and he was bleeding from a long gash on his forehead.

Squalo saw me and scowled. "What the hell are you doing here, woman? Get out of the way or you'll get hu -"

"SQUAAAALLLLLLOOOOO!" I yelled delightedly, flinging my arms around his neck and nearly pushing him off balance.

"VOOOOOOIIII, WHAT THE HELL!" Squalo yelled.

"Squalo I can't believe I'm seeing you in person, I feel like it's been forever since I got kidnapped! And where are the others and are you hurt anywhere else and did you know Xanxus is fighting Sciolto and why is Xanxus mad at me and where's Mammon and -"

"SHUT UP!" Squalo yelled, succeeding in pulling me off of him. He looked incredibly embarrassed. "Vooooii, first of all: it's only been like three hours. Second of all: Xanxus is mad because he was worried about you. Third of all: I don't give a fuck who the boss is fighting. Fourth of all: don't know where the others are and I don't care either. Lastly: Don't touch me."

"Awww, is little Squ-chan embarrassed?" I teased, drowning in sadistic enjoyment when he blushed furiously.

"AM NOT!"

"You soooo are!"

"VOOOOOII, FUCK YOU, NATSUKI! GO AWAY! GO DIE IN A HOLE!"

"Squalo, the Nile isn't just a river in Egypt."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anyt - oh, I get it. WHAT THE FUCK, WHO SAYS I'M DENYING ANYTHING?"

"Um, can I attack you now?" Aragosta asked timidly. He had a Chinese accent. Wait, what the fuck? Isn't this guy Italian?

"GO TO HELL!" Squalo and I yelled. With one big swing of Squalo's sword , Aragosta went down for the count.

"K.O! KNOCKOUT!" SUPERBI SQUALO IS THE WINNER!" I cheered, raising Squalo's hand as though he was a boxing champion. Squalo irritably shook his hand out of my grip.

"Vooooii, if you want to see how the others are doing, get out of here already. I have to go find that bastard Ghiaccio Respiro. He'll be more of a problem to deal with than this idiot."

I was off running before he even finished his sentence.

"VOOOOIII!" Squalo yelled after me. "TRY NOT TO DIE, OKAY? BOSS WILL RIP MY HEAD OFF IF YOU GET HURT!"

I nodded and saluted him with two fingers. Then I nearly tripped and decided to focus more on running rather than saluting.

I was running down a random hallway when I heard a loud squeal. There was only one person I knew who squealed. Either Levi saw Xanxus stark naked or Lussuria was nearby.

I saw a door that stood ajar. When I walked in, I saw a huge room filled with bows and frills and laces and ginormously fucking huge teddy bears everywhere. No, seriously, the entire room was filled with cuddly stuffed animals that ranged in size from my hand to a chair.

In the middle of the room, where there was a fake kitchen toy and several scattered pieces of plastic food and kitchen cutlery, was Lussuria and Scimmia evidently playing 'house'.

"Oh, hello, Natsuki darling!" Lussuria squealed from his spot where he perched delicately on a plastic chair that looked like it would fall apart at any moment. "Scimmy and I are playing a game! Care to join us?"

"Uh…fuck no." This was beyond weird. Lussuria was twenty-five. Twenty-fucking-five. And gayness was no excuse for this monstrosity.

And from the looks of the cute monkey-boy, Scimmia looked around twelve or thirteen, Tsuna's age. Boys at this age should be playing soccer or badminton or something, for fuck's sakes! If I came home to Japan and saw Tsuna playing house, I'd shoot myself.

"Oh, please play, signorina!" Scimmia pleaded, pouting slightly. "It's really fun! You can be our daughter! I'm the papa of the house, and Luss-nee is the mama!"

Why am I not surprised?

"Uh, I would love to, Scimmia, sweetheart … but I, um, have to go see if the others are okay …" I shot a glance at Lussuria and unleashed the full force of my glare on him. I mouthed the words WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, FUCKFACE? at him.

Lussuria just smiled and mouthed back I'm playing house, isn't it obvious, darling?

Then I mouthed out You stupid son of a bitch we're at war right now! If you haven't noticed, everyone else is working their ass off trying to kill or at least defeat the Caldo Guardians and you're fucking sitting here playing house with a kid who's thirteen but has the mental capacity of a three-year-old? You idiot you just wait till we're out of here I will kick your ass into oblivion!

Lussuria looked confused. "What?"

"Never mind." I sighed. People are idiots sometimes.

I knelt down until I was eye level with Scimmia and said, "Scimmia, you have to go fight Lussuria now. Okay?"

Scimmia pouted. "But … but I don't like fighting. It's boring. I'd rather play house."

"I know, Scimmia, but it just has to be done. Maybe if you lose to Lussuria you can go play house with him again."

Scimmia pondered it for a moment, before smiling brightly. "Okay, then! I'll do that!" He raised his hands into the air and made a weird signal.

Suddenly, every single stuffed animal in the room seemed to come to life. They begun to limp their way towards us, trapping us in the circle like a zombie horde.

"!" I screamed, freaking out instantly. It was Chucky all over again!

Lussuria whipped off his jacket and out came the Muay Thai-whatever crap he does. He skilfully leaped around and held the stuffed animals at bay, throwing them back into the oncoming horde of zombie toys.

"Scimmia, this is the scariest thing I've ever seen in my entire life!" I yelled at the boy, who just smiled in this really eerily creepy way.

"You should have just played house with me and Luss-nee, signorina," He said in a strangely threatening voice.

Lussuria appeared beside me. "Suki-chan, it'll be hard trying to fend them off of both you and myself," He said. "Try to fight your way through them and get to the exit."

"Are you kidding me? Those things are fucking demon spawn, I'm not fighting my way through them!"

"But, Suki-chan, it's the only way. Besides, they're still stuffed animals. They're not that dangerous."

I glanced at the zombie toys warily. They looked freaking evil. "Alright, I'm going on. It was nice knowing you, Luss-nee."

"Don't say that, honey. If you die, boss will throw a fit."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?" I yelled in exasperation. Lussuria ignored me, focusing on the zombie toys coming in from the left.

I took a deep breath and shot forwards, batting and kicking at the zombie toys. It was true - they had all the consistency of stuffing, which they were made of anyway. But there were HUNDREDS of them, and they were fucking throwing themselves at me.

I shrieked like a little girl, pulling and pushing them away. I almost got trampled by one of the teddy bears bigger than me, but I scrambled in-between its furry legs and made it out the door in one piece. Sort of.

Somehow, my clothes were all ripped, I had a scratch on my cheek (I think one of the bunnies threw a plastic fork at me or something), and I was pretty sure my hair looked like a bird's nest. Ah, shit.

Almost immediately after I came out of the room and shut the door (sorry, Lussuria, but I don't want any of those zombie toys coming after me), a very familiar blade whizzed past my face into the distance.

Then I heard a faint, tinkling, high-pitched giggle that made the flames of hatred surge through me.

Riso.

The curvaceous, scantily-clad woman rounded the corner, moving very speedily for someone in stilettos and wearing a dress so tight it was practically painted on. Then she caught sight of me and stopped dead. "You!" She hissed, her face livid in fury.

"Me," I said, smirking a little at her. We glared daggers at each other.

"I see you're still ugly," She retorted.

"I see you're still fat," I shot back, watching in amusement as she looked uncertainly at her flat stomach. "You should probably continue your bulimia, or you'll just gain all that weight back. Maybe in the process, you might throw up a lung or something."

Riso glared coldly at me, and all of a sudden a gleaming knife appeared in her hand. "I'll kill you, you little bitch!" She yelled, raising the dagger.

Shit. I could beat her in verbal fights any day, but physically she was an assassin and I was a maid. Fucksocks.

I dodged quickly to the side when she attempted to stab me. I couldn't help but say, "Miss!"

Screaming bloody murder, Riso turned around and advanced upon me again. Suddenly, she froze and leapt backwards - just as three knives came hurtling towards the spot she was seconds before.

"Ushishishishi," I heard a familiar lazy voice drawl. "No one hurts our princess, yeah?"

"BEL!" I gasped joyfully. I considered hugging him like I hugged Squalo, but I decided not to when I saw the excited, sadistic smile on his face. He was out for blood.

"Ushishishi, so the princess is safe and sound, just like the prince knew she would be," Bel said proudly.

"Hey - yeah, that's right! Bel, you BASTARD! You drugged me and let me get kidnapped! All so you could find out where their headquarters were!"

Bel grinned. "I didn't drug it, Natsuki. You just can't hold your liquor very well."

I pointed an accusatory finger at him. "BULLSHIT, Bel! You purposefully gave me a super-strong alcoholic beverage knowing I'd get drunk and shit!"

"Does it make you feel better that I knew you wouldn't get hurt?" Bel suggested.

"Slightly. But whatever - you're fighting this tramp, right?" I jabbed a thumb in Riso's direction. "Hurry up and kill her - I don't like it when skanks roam free."

"EXCUSE ME?" Riso shrieked, her voice going up several more octaves. Bel grinned, knives appearing in his hand. "Ushishishishi…agreed, principessa."

Riso seemed to know that she was going to die soon, because she began to run away, not before turning back and screaming, "You just wait, you annoying little bitch! I'll come back and finish you off, you wait and see!"

Bel's smile got infinitely more dangerous. "Ushishishishi, threatening Varia's little princess? That won't do at all." And he followed after her, moving as stealthily as a cat. That was surprising. Bel was such a lazy-ass I couldn't see him running.

I decided to walk the opposite way. If Bel was the one doing the killing, I didn't want to be anywhere near them when Riso starts screaming.

I managed to find Levi and Mammon fighting Pietra and Maledire respectively. They looked busy so I decided not to interfere, instead cheering them on for a few minutes before getting bored and leaving.

Eventually, I made my way back to where Xanxus and Sciolto should be fighting. Xanxus should have finished it by now, right? Might as well check up on them, then go see how Squalo was doing with Respiro.

I reached the hole in the wall, then stopped a few feet away from it. Something was wrong. It was too quiet. Did Xanxus already kill him off? Before I could even say goodbye to my sexy eye-candy? That hurt. But then again, I still had to apologise for whatever I did to make Xanxus mad. I didn't like seeing him pissed off at me.

Oh god, do I really have feelings for him? He was a pretty good-looking bastard, yes, but he was only nice to me when he was drunk. Although lately he's had his moments even when he hasn't drunk himself to a state of weirdness…

Suddenly, someone came crashing through the wall, creating another huge hole. Through all the smoke and debris, I realized who it was. His clothes were ripped and all bloody.

One look at his bloodied-up, half-conscious face made my heart stop.

I felt like none of the other battles I saw actually mattered. As I stared at the man who had collided so painfully against the wall, his guns falling from his limp fingers, I actually felt tears fill in my eyes.

"Xanxus…?"

Otaku-chama: LE GASP! What just happened? Here is where it REALLY gets interesting!

And yeah, sorry for the shitty-as-fuck fight scenes. I've never tried writing this before, but I'll do my best and make better fight scenes for the next chapter.

Oh yeah, did any of you get the Nile river joke I put in there? Denial...get it? Ha ha... -_-

What else? Oh yeah...has anyone noticed I love making characters glomp Squalo? It's happened like twice in my fanfic Into the Dimensions, and it's happened several times in my other fanfic If The Mermaid Loves The Shark. What can I say? That man is such a tsundere he's just asking to be glomped by squealing fangirls. *AHEM* anyway...

Sorry for the late update, don't shoot me! I love you readers! Let's work hard and aim for the 150 review mark, okay?

This is Otaku-chama, over and out :D