a/n Dear readers...have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate every single one of you? Because I truly do. Thanks for reading!
You've asked for a certain alternate P.O.V. since the earliest of chapters - I'll bet you were starting to think you'd never actually see it though, huh?
Well...here it is - I hope you enjoy!
xo, Pfloogs
I paced the oil stained concrete floor of the dank parking garage with an impatient step and glanced down at my watch again. This weekend together was long overdue and I was anxious to get on the road. At last I heard the heavy mechanical clang of the large elevator doors open and recognized the familiar hum of my engine. Joe, the parking attendant, jumped out of my car and handed me a ticket.
"My apologies for the delay, Mr. Northman."
I palmed him a tip in return.
"No worries, Joe. Have a good one. I'll bring it back late afternoon or early evening on Monday."
I threw my duffel in the backseat and slid behind the wheel, then eased my Jeep Wrangler onto the street. At the stoplight I texted Sookie that I'd be at her place within a couple of minutes.
Sookie was waiting outside on the front stoop of her brownstone, scrutinizing the driver of each passing vehicle. I couldn't help but feel smug satisfaction at the expression that crossed her face when she recognized me. I threw the car in park, but she had the back door open, said good morning, and began loading her bags before I even had the chance to jump out. Whether or not she realized it, she took every opportunity, both small and large, to prove her independence to herself and others. I understood where her need for self-sufficiency came from; it was a quality I admired, but I suspected it would frustrate me to no end at times too.
Rounding the front of the car, I opened the front passenger door before she could beat me to it and dipped to kiss her. A hint of mint lingered on her lips. I wanted more but pulled away. Sookie's sapphire eyes were bright with excitement; underneath I detected the faint circles from a long week of work. She pushed herself so hard for her job. We all did, but the recent demand on her time was extreme, even by New York City standards.
"What's this?" I'd just noticed the paper bag in her clutches.
"Coffee and bagels for the road." She slid into the passenger seat, carefully balancing the paper bag on her kneecaps while stowing her purse on the floor.
"You'd have made a good scout. Always prepared."
"No." A weary laugh accompanied the shake of her head. "I'm just always desperate for caffeine." Once she was settled in the seat I closed the door behind her and crossed back around the car to the driver's side.
"Ready to go?" I asked.
My hand was poised to throw the car in drive, but I hesitated thinking of the all too brief kiss on the street. My need to revisit the lingering sweetness on her lips took priority over leaving. I leaned over the armrest to catch her mouth once more. A light touch on my cheek was timid, but it drew me to her like a homing device. Her distinct scent, concentrated in the confines of the car, filled my nose, and provoked an urge that I couldn't possibly sate at the moment.
It was madness to get worked up before a five-hour drive, but neither one of us came up for air until a horn blast cut our teenage make out session short. The impatient taxi driver squeezed by, flipping me the bird as he passed. Anger licked at my brain, but instantly turned to something quite different when a throaty giggle erupted from the passenger seat. She cooled me down-she heated me up; I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and haul her back to her apartment, but this was not the time. I drew a controlled breath and refocused my mind.
"Ready to go?" A smirk graced her lips as she threw my earlier question back at me.
I chuckled and shook my head. What a smart ass.
"How was the event last night?" I asked once we were headed North on Central Park West.
"Exhausting. There were a thousand people throughout the museum. We spent all night shooing guests away from the edge of the Nile….chasing down people smoking in the galleries. It was a nightmare." She gave a weary laugh and stifled a yawn. "I didn't get home until a little after one."
I reached out to her thigh. "You should sleep on the way up."
She covered my hand with her much smaller one. "No way. You need a navigator. I'm not going to have you drive by yourself."
I didn't argue. My car was equipped with a GPS navigation system, but she'd pulled a map out of her bag and was studying it intently. If she wanted to navigate, I'd let her navigate. Hell, if she said she wanted to go to Disneyworld I'd make a U-turn and start driving south straightaway.
We'd been on the highway less than five minutes when I turned to ask Sookie a question. I stopped before the question left my mouth; she'd fallen asleep with map and coffee cup in hand. At the next scenic overlook I edged the car over and carefully extracted both from her slackened grip, then eased her seat back to a more comfortable position. Before pulling back on the road, I took a moment to study the serene look on her face. She was unlike any other woman I'd been involved with. There was a freshness and authenticity to Sookie that made her shine to those who were either smart or lucky enough to recognize it. I now considered myself one of the luckiest bastards around.
My Jeep rejoined the stream of highway traffic and I allowed my mind to wander. I'd noticed Sookie long before she'd ever noticed me at Muddy's. We'd lived in the same neighborhood for years. I would see her from time to time at the market, or running around the reservoir; I'd pass her on the sidewalk to the cleaners. I'd made a habit over the years of ignoring the whispers and stares of women; the fact that she seemingly didn't notice me is what caught my attention.
I didn't think anything of her. I'd simply noticed her.
After a particularly disastrous relationship flamed out a couple of years ago, Thalia sat me down at Muddy's for a come to Jesus talk like only a close friend can - she chewed me out. She read me the riot act. She threatened to stop hanging out with me if I couldn't get my shit together in the relationship department.
"What the hell am I supposed to do differently, Thalia?" I was as exasperated with her as she was with me, and I was tired of being on her firing line.
"Try thinking before you get involved with somebody. What do you want in a relationship? No…scratch that. What kind of person do you want to spend your time with? What is your ideal?" After saying her peace, Thalia left me in Muddy's to stew. I wasn't actively looking to get involved with somebody; it just kept happening.
The mention of the word "ideal" was the one thing she said that seeped into my brain. I spent much of my academic and museum career considering the Greek ideal of beauty as it pertained to art. I should certainly be able to apply the concept to what I'd want in a girlfriend.
An ideal, of course, is an abstract; it's absolute perfection that exists only in one's mind. I contemplated the qualities that constituted my ideal and found that formulating it wasn't a challenge at all. The challenge would be to keep it in mind, to use it as a standard moving forward.
At that moment, the blonde I'd seen around the neighborhood pushed through the door into Muddy's. She wasn't as stunning as some of the women I'd been with; she was attractive in a more down to earth kind of way. I wanted to keep my ideal an abstract in my mind, yet I couldn't help but project the qualities onto her; she was an empty vessel that I knew nothing about. I harbored no illusions that she was anything close to my abstract ideal. For all I knew she was a stark raving lunatic, the owner of twenty-seven cats - maybe even a phone sex operator. It didn't matter because she was no more than a placeholder for me; something to remind me of the qualities I was seeking.
Over the next few months I kept falling into bed with the wrong women. I would bide my time with whichever woman it was, but invariably, over coffee at Muddy's, I'd see the blonde that I'd designated to embody my ideal, and realize how far off track I was. Muddy's became the ultimate dumping ground for me, the place where relationships went to die.
I gleaned little information beyond how she liked her coffee from my casual Saturday morning observations. That all changed when our department met with the new Director of Special Events; the universe certainly had an amusing sense of humor. The moment I recognized the woman we were meeting, I knew I'd have to find another blank canvas for my ideal. She was going to pass from an abstract idea to a real person, a real person whom, undoubtedly, bore little resemblance to my ideal.
As the weeks progressed though, I was surprised to discover how many characteristics of my ideal Sookie possessed. She was certainly the closest that any woman I'd met had ever come. Sookie challenged some of the qualities I'd thought were important too. I had believed that I wanted somebody who didn't need me, having done time with some clingy women. As it turns out, nothing could have been further than the truth. She wasn't needy in the least bit, and I knew her world wouldn't come to a grinding halt without me in it, but she needed me all the same.
A heavy waking sigh and groan from the passenger seat pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Where are we?" Sookie croaked, propping herself up on an elbow to look out the window. "Have I been asleep for long?"
"A couple of hours. We're not too far from Albany."
She yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. "Sorry I faded on you."
I ventured a quick glance at her. "You needed to sleep. We've got to make sure you're rested up for later." I didn't need to look at her face to know my words flushed her cheeks. I couldn't keep the smirk off my face.
We had another few hours on the road before we reached the cabin. There are a scant few people among my friends and family that I would willingly ride in a car with for five hours; it's the ultimate test of compatibility. I was relieved but not surprised that Sookie and I had no problem filling the time with easy conversation. That didn't stop me from speeding to get us to the cabin faster – I was looking forward to some quality time with Sookie that didn't necessarily involve talking.
Sookie had surprised the hell out of me when she showed up at my door Monday night. I suspected she had surprised herself too. This thing with Sookie felt like unchartered territory. I had been doing things I'd never before imagined: patiently waiting for my opening; chasing her across the globe; fumbling in the bedroom. Christ, I was so in my head these days I barely recognized myself at times; I was used to acting on instinct in these matters. Eventually I'd regain my footing - hopefully even this weekend.
"It's here," Sookie pointed to the right. The easily missed turnoff was marked by a small, carved wooden sign evocative of another era, and bore the name "Sweet Solitude". The long gravel drive tunneled through an acre thick with trees until the trunks thinned rather abruptly, opening onto a clearing. The cabin, on the far edge of the clearing, was surrounded by a handful of impressive white pine trees standing sentry. They looked as though they had been planted long before the cabin was constructed.
"Well, here we are, Sweet Solitude," Sookie said making air quotes, then extracted an iron barrel key that must have been original to the cabin from her purse. In a couple of quick trips we'd hauled everything in, including the provisions we'd picked up in the closest town.
"So, do I get the grand tour now?" I asked once the last of the food had been unloaded into the refrigerator.
The cabin matched the mental picture that Sookie had painted for me on the drive up. The comfortable and tastefully rustic furnishings were reminiscent of a fly fishing lodge I frequented with my father in Vermont. Sookie fidgeted with the shoulder strap of her bag a bit nervously while climbing the stairs to the second floor bedrooms.
She pushed the door to the first room open, revealing what was obviously the master bedroom. An enormous picture window offered a postcard worthy view of the lake, and a massive four-poster bed dominated the room. Sookie took just a couple of steps through the door.
"Nice room," I glanced around, but stayed planted next to Sookie.
"We can stay in here if you want." Despite her words, she didn't seem thrilled about the idea. I reached out for her hand and pulled her to me.
"Hey, I'm fine with any room," I brushed my lips against her temple then added with a smirk, "as long as you're in it." She laughed at me dismissively and shook her head. It was good to see her becoming more comfortable with me, but I was a little disappointed that I didn't make her blush.
"Why don't we stay in my usual room - it's smaller than the others, but I love it."
I released her from my grip and slid the largest bag off her shoulder. She looked as though she was going to protest, but stopped herself and took a deep breath.
"You know I can get that myself," she said with a wry smile on her face, "but thanks."
"I know you can get it by yourself, but you're welcome. Now show me the room, woman."
Her mouth edged into a real grin and she led the way to the end of the hall.
Upon entering the room I could see why Sookie loved it; it was cozy, homey and suited her to a T. While it wasn't as expansive as the master, it was still generously sized, and the sloped wood paneled ceilings and irregular footprint manifested in inviting nooks. A bed, artisan-crafted of hickory branches, was nestled in the largest of the recesses. Late afternoon light streamed through the simple stained glass window above the headboard, casting sun streaks of amber, crimson, blue and white across the cream quilted bedspread.
"Is this okay?"
"It's perfect." I set the bags on the floor at the foot of the bed and crossed the room to the larger window. From this vantage point I could see a tidy shingled structure that was presumably the boathouse perched on the lip of the lake. A snaking path connected the boathouse to a garden-bound stone patio below.
I could sense Sookie approach, but kept my eyes trained on the lake. Her two hands gently clasped around my hand nearest her, and she leaned into my side, casting a glance out to the water. I relaxed into the sensation of her body pressed to mine.
"There are a couple of small islands we can easily paddle to from here," Sookie began. Her face tipped up to mine, meeting my eyes. Whatever she had planned to say next seemingly drifted away with the response I'd had on the tip of my tongue.
I searched her face, taking in every detail: the slight crease on her cheek where her dimple would appear; the dip between her nose and her upper lip; the exact color of blue that her eyes approximated in the afternoon light. It was a quiet moment that we hadn't been afforded for many months –- oddly enough, not since the photo shoot. She looked different to me now. I had thought she was beautiful the day of the shoot. Today I couldn't think of a single woman whom I found more beautiful than Sookie.
Her facial muscles rearranged ever so slightly into the hint of a smile; faint creases appeared at the corners of her eyes. My face responded to the look on hers, a smile lifting a corner of my mouth. I pushed a stray strand of hair back from her forehead, ran my fingertips along the curve of her face to her chin, traced the tender plumpness of her bottom lip with my thumb. Her mouth cracked into a smile and she caught my finger between her teeth playfully.
"Come here." Sookie's eyes sparked with amusement at her whispered command. She stretched to reach her arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss that was soft, searching. My body was raring to go, but my mind wanted to follow Sookie's lead - to allow her to call the shots today.
Somehow I managed to suppress a groan and keep a somewhat neutral expression on my face when she pulled away and suggested we have dinner. I searched for the manual override button on my brain, took a few deep, controlled breaths, and followed her back downstairs.
We opted for an easy dinner of prepared foods we'd picked up at the store: a grilled pesto shrimp pasta, roasted asparagus and sliced peaches. Sookie set the table on the back porch so we could watch the sunset. The air still bore the cool hint of spring that had long ago left us in the city.
"Well, here's to a weekend out of the city," she raised her beer clinking the glass neck to mine.
"A weekend together out of the city," I clarified, thinking of the many recent weekends we'd both spent out of the city.
"True," she laughed. "Together," she echoed a little softer.
I expected that we would have been talked out after the car ride, but dinner conversation was leisurely and wide-ranging. It never reached the topic that I probably most needed to broach with Sookie. I wasn't quite sure what to say about the job potential in Philadelphia though. Our relationship was so new. It felt too new to be discussing the implications of a move that may not even happen.
After dinner, Sookie cleared the plates and returned with two more bottles of beer. The sounds of birds faded with the daylight, steadily replaced by a building chorus of frogs and crickets. Lightning bugs flashed high against the rich blue color of the sky that still retained a glow from the remains of the day. The air almost instantly chilled when the sun dipped below the horizon. Sookie made a move to draw her legs to her chest for warmth, but I leaned forward, took her hand and pulled her into my lap.
Without resisting, she curled into me. The light breath on my neck and roaming hand on my chest were the only invitation I needed. I found her warm mouth eager for mine, and soon she was clambering for a better position. I helped her shift into a straddle, grasping her hips, and then gently tugged her shirt free of the waistband of her jeans. Her abdomen tensed initially at the sensation of my cool fingers skimming her skin, but then she pressed toward me, wordlessly begging for more contact; I willingly obliged.
My lips, tongue and teeth worked slowly, softly dragging across the sensitive skin of her neck, to the spot just behind her ear that I knew would unleash chills through her body.
"What do you want, Sookie?" I breathed into her ear.
She gasped and hesitated for a moment before whispering unevenly, "I want you to take me upstairs."
In a fluid movement I gathered her to me and made my way inside. Our frantic need for each other impeded my progress, but at last I was through the door to our room and deposited her on the bed. The unchecked desire in Sookie's eyes further stoked my own. I began to peel the jeans off her, but was stopped by her hand on my arm.
"Will you turn out the light?"
I wanted to see her, all of her, but followed her wishes. Obscured by darkness, we shed every last bit of clothing and tumbled across the bed. At last I allowed myself to follow my instincts, and hungrily explored the smooth skin of her willing body. Sookie's gasps and cries evidenced my return to form. Soon she had me calling her name and forgetting my own
We fell in a tangled, damp sprawl on the bed, fatigued from exertion. Sookie's breathing slowed then deepened, and finally she drifted off, her naked form still entwined in mine. I pulled her tighter to me and focused on the rise and fall of her chest and the steady rhythm of her pulse. My chest tightened, affected by these essential, involuntary actions of her body. Eventually they lulled me to sleep.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
I was in a deep restful sleep, aided by the cool air on my back and the warm body in my arms until Sookie's movements roused me.
"Good morning," she grinned when I opened my eyes. The stained glass window above our heads sent pale colored light throughout the room.
I groggily got out a "Good morning", took Sookie's hand in mine, and threw a lazy leg over hers to prevent her from leaving me unaware if I fell back asleep. Usually I was an up with the sun kind of guy, but I wanted nothing more than to spend the day in bed, naked with Sookie. As usual, she had ideas that ran contrary to mine. Wriggling from underneath the dead weight of my leg, Sookie struggled to pull the sheet out from under the edge of the mattress, and then gathered it to her before stepping to the floor.
"I'm going to get dressed and make some breakfast for us." She carefully wrapped the sheet around herself and made her way toward her still unpacked bag.
"Sookie, come back." My words came out huskier than I'd intended. I softened my voice and continued, "Come back. Let me see you."
"I…" she trailed off and glanced down at the sheet firmly gripped around her body. Her eyes worked back up to mine, the internal struggle visible on her face.
"Let me see you," I said again in a voice softer still, pleading with my eyes.
The expression on her face relaxed; I could see the trust in her eyes. I edged off the bed and moved to her, cupping her face in my hands and brushing my lips to hers. After a moment the sheet slid between us into a crumpled heap at our feet. My hands glided over her bare skin with the lightest of touches, raising goosebumps across her body. Gently, she took my two hands in hers, and with me in tow, walked backwards to the bed, never breaking eye contact. I kissed the small smile on her lips, and then watched her crawl onto the bed. She was soft curves and smooth planes, a study in creamy white and blonde. I ached at the sight of her.
Sookie reached her hand back for me to join her. I climbed up the bed and fell in a heap on top of her, eliciting a peal of laughter. My eyes locked with hers and her smile faded a bit.
"You're so beautiful." I hoped the sincerity of my delivery would make up for the unoriginality of my words.
A different smile crossed her face and her eyes flicked away briefly, then returned back to me. She pulled my mouth to hers; I sank into her embrace. Within minutes we were revisiting territory we'd covered last night. In the light of day it was an entirely new experience.
I watched, enthralled, as Sookie slipped away, gradually unraveling bit by bit until she abandoned herself completely. The gates of control that she usually held tightly closed were thrown open, and a look I'd never seen crossed her face. Watching her pushed me over the edge and I collapsed on top of her. Christ, she took my breath away; I wanted to unlock her like this over and again.
We lay in each other's arms recuperating, exactly as I'd hoped we would spend the day. Sookie ran her fingers through my hair and let out a dramatic sigh that commanded my attention.
"What?"
"It's nothing really," she smiled.
"What is it?"
"Well, it's just….I never got to run my fingers through your hair when it was long."
I let out a hiss of laughter. "We've already been though this. It'll grow back."
"Right...but it's going to take a while." She tugged gently at my hair.
I raised an eyebrow. "You plan on going somewhere?"
I regretted my words as soon as I said them; regretted them as soon as I saw the look that momentarily flashed across Sookie's face.
Her smile tightened just a bit. "No." Her voice sounded smaller. "I don't plan on going anywhere." I could see that she didn't know if the same could be said about me. To be honest, I didn't know if the same could be said about me.
It was just too soon to know.