A/N: Song for this chapter is "You Make Me Smile," by Blue October.

Disclaimer: Quil and Claire don't belong to me.

"So we should do a girl's night this weekend," Katie said, sitting down beside me at the lunch table.

I shifted guiltily in my seat. "I can't. I'm going to La Push."

"Again?" She complained. "Tell your Aunt to hire a baby-sitter or something; she's gets so much free labor out of you it's not even funny."

I cringed. I still hadn't gotten the courage to tell her about Quil yet, and I felt awful for keeping it secret from her, it felt so unnatural. There was no real reason for the secrecy—of everyone I knew, she would understand the best—but I was afraid she would understand too well.

I took a deep breath, preparing to bite the bullet. "Well, actually I'm not going there to baby-sit. Um, I'm going to hang out with Quil."

She raised an eyebrow and looked at me carefully, unimpressed. "I thought things were still weird between you two? Spill."

"Well, things were weird, but we worked it out and it's kind of funny, but we're…" What was I supposed to say; 'we're dating' didn't exactly sound right. "…We're kind of a couple now."

Her face was still carefully blank. "But I thought he already had a girlfriend?"

"Well…" I began uncomfortably; I took a deep breath and it all came out in a rush. "I sort of lied about that. The truth is Quil and I have been together since September, although it's been going on a lot longer than that—and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

A huge smile broke out across her face, she reached over and hugged me tightly . "Oh my God Claire!" She rolled her eyes. "You're so weird sometimes; I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"I'm sorry—I just didn't know how to say it. The whole thing sounds so unbelievable, even to me."

Katie smiled and leaned forward. "I always knew there was something going on between you two." There was a mischievous smile on her face, and I felt an instant feeling of foreboding. She would want details.

"So is he a good kisser?" I blushed, but nodded slightly. She looked smug. "I thought he would be. And have you…" she trailed of suggestively.

"Katie!" I screeched, glad that none of our other friends had made it to the table yet. It was awkward enough.

"I'll take that as a no." She looked disappointed. "So what's stopping you? It's not like you guys haven't loved each other since forever."

"It's only been a couple of months!"

She made a face. "Come on Claire, we both know that this has been going on a lot longer than that."

"I'm not talking about this with you here," I hissed. "Actually, I'm never I'm never talking about Quil with you again!"

Katie only laughed.

xXx

Five minutes after I got home from school, Quil pulled up in his truck. As soon as he came through the door, I threw myself into Quil's arms, nestling into his chest. He chuckled and pulled me closer. I hadn't seen him for three days, the longest time we'd spent apart since the bonfire. I raised my face to his and he kissed me softly, before pulling away far too soon. He laughed at the little frown that creased my forehead.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked. I pointed to the bag at the foot of the stairs.

After a quick goodbye to my mom, Quil and I were safely in the truck, driving along the scenic highway that hugged the coast. I couldn't keep the silly grin off my face, I was really looking forward to an entire weekend with Quil.

He looked just as excited to be with me. He drove one handed along the quiet windy roads that led to La Push. His other hand automatically rested on my knee, tracing small circles. It made me smile even wider.

"You look happy," he said quietly, looking over at me.

"I am. It feels like forever since I've been to La Push."

"You like it there?"

"I like being wherever you are," I said lightly, raising my eyes to his. His cheeks flushed under his dark skin; I knew the idea pleased him.

It still seemed sometimes like Quil was being especially careful with me—afraid that I would run screaming when the truth of the situation dawned on me, that this could be a forever thing. Just as I had been afraid of trapping him, so he was afraid of trapping me. Time was probably the only thing that would completely erase all doubts for both of us. Luckily, we had plenty of it.

We went straight to Aunt Emily's when we got to La Push. She wasn't there, but it seemed like the rest of the pack was. Collin and Embry lounged on the couch eating, Seth was busy in the kitchen ransacking her cupboards and Brady was passed out asleep on a chair in the living room. They all smiled and said hello when we walked in.

I had known most of these guys since I was a baby—not as well as I knew Quil of course, but they had still been fixtures at birthday parties, beach days and at my aunt's house. They were like big, goofy older brothers… That didn't stop me from feeling awkward around them when I walked in holding Quil's hand. I hadn't seen them since the bonfire; so much had changed, and I wondered what they'd thought of it all. Would they treat me any differently? I wished I'd asked Quil about it during the drive down.

Everyone waved hello, but otherwise ignored me. They all looked exhausted, even Quil I realized with a jolt.

"You're on patrol tonight," Embry called over to Quil from his spot on the couch. "You should probably get going soon."

"What? I didn't think you'd be leaving so soon."

"Sorry Claire, but it's just for tonight, but I have the rest of the weekend off. I won't leave you again" He kissed me lightly; I heard snickering behind me, but I ignored it. "I'll be here first thing tomorrow, ok?" I nodded, and followed him to the door, watching him until he was out of sight.

When I returned to the living room, Collin, Embry and the now awake Brady were looking at me curiously, identical grins on each of their faces. I chickened out. "Um, I think I'm going to go bring my bag up to my room now." I grabbed it and hurried upstairs; I wasn't ready for the inevitable make-Claire-blush pick on session.

I was such a wimp; I stayed up there, slowly unpacking my small duffel bag until I heard Emily's sweet voice yelling at the guys for eating all her food. Emily wouldn't let them pick on me.

Did the pack ever leave, I wondered as I wandered downstairs the next morning, sleepily rubbing my eyes. I could hear them laughing and loudly fighting over Emily's muffins. Collin, Brady and Quil were standing around the edges of the room, plates in hand.

"Here Claire, I saved some for you," Emily called to me. Sam was standing beside her, his hand resting on the small of her back.

I sat down at the table. "Do you guys live here or something?" I teased.

Emily rolled her eyes. "It sure feels like it sometimes."

Everyone just ignored us, except for Quil who came over to sit beside me. He didn't reach for my hand, or put an arm around my shoulder like I was expecting, rather his thigh pressed against my own underneath, and it was such a small touch but it made me giddy. It was possessive somehow, and he had never been that way with me before.

"Any plans today?" He smiled down at me, and I felt a matching grin on my face.

"Whatever you want to do," I shrugged, smiling.

"Well, there's a beach you've never been to before, would you like to come see it with me?"

"Ugh!" Collin groaned before I could reply. "Your lovey-dovey ness is making me sick."

"Don't look then," Quil replied, not taking his eyes off me.

"If only I could—too bad you never stop thinking about Claire; I'm getting really sick of seeing her all the time." I frowned. It had been months since I had last seen Collin.

"You're one to talk, what about you and your girlfriend? You think that doesn't make me sick too?"

They bickered for a few minutes, until Emily told them to shut up and eat their breakfast. Afterwards, I went upstairs to change out of my pajamas, and grabbed one of the big beach blankets that Emily kept in the closet too. Even though it was damp out I wasn't worried at all about being cold.

When I went back downstairs, Seth and Embry were looking at Quil funny, unsuccessfully hiding the huge smiles on their faces. Quil was red with embarrassment. I frowned.

"What's going on?"

Embry shrugged. "Nothing… have fun you guys. Quil, remember our advice." They melted out of the house.

"What advice?" I asked curiously. Quil only shook his head.

"Come on, we should get going," he said quickly, changing the subject. Quil drove us out of town and down an almost forgotten looking grass covered dirt track "We'll have to hike for a couple minutes, but it's a beautiful place, completely deserted."

He helped me out of the truck and we began to slowly make our way through the thick undergrowth. "I have a question," I began. Beside me, I saw Quil tense. "About something Collin said, that he was getting sick of seeing me so often, but that doesn't make any sense—it's been months since I've been to La Push.

Quil relaxed; he smiled at me sheepishly. "I was wondering if you'd pick up on that. It's…" he struggled for the right words. "It's one of those werewolf things—when we phase we can sort of read each others minds—see each other's thoughts, everything that is in our heads. And, since I'm always thinking about you…" he trailed.

"That's kind of weird, having no secrets."

He nodded. "It's embarrassing too. There's a lot of things I wish I didn't know about the pack, but it's not so bad, we've all gotten used to it."

A blush rose up my cheeks. "Does that mean that… they see us, the things we do, when you think about it I mean?" He nodded. "Oh."

Quil laughed. "Don't worry Claire; they're just as embarrassed as you are."

Still.

Before I had a chance to die of mortification, the trees began to thin and I could see the flickers of grey ocean in front of us. It was overcast and monochromatic; pearl grey sky, grey water and grey beach, and it was lovely. There were no cliffs, just a gently sloping rock face that led down to a little secluded sandy beach, sheltered by the trees that surrounded it on three sides.

"How did you find this place?" I asked, amazed.

"I came across it one night on patrol. I thought of you when I saw it, I knew you'd love it."
"I do," I breathed. "It's beautiful."

I found a nice spot, sheltered from the wind by the natural curve of the shore. And spread out the blanket on the rocky sand. Quil sat down beside me. He wrapped his arms around me, protecting me from the chilly wind; I leaned back in to him, contented.

"I have another question," I said after a little silence. "What were Seth and Embry talking about before we left, what advice were they talking about?" He sighed; this was obviously the question that he hadn't wanted me to ask.

"Nothing, they were just being idiots; big surprise," he muttered under his breath. I raised an eyebrow, urging him to go on. He groaned. "Fine, they think I'm being stupid, with you I mean. They think I should stop being noble and just give in and kiss you, really kiss you, like I want to." He waited for my response.

"I was kind of wondering why you hadn't," I said lightly, and turned in his arms so I could see him.

"You're very young," his voice was gentle. "I don't want to go too fast."

"I'm seventeen," I protested, turning further so that I was seated in his lap, facing him. "I think it was good advice, you should listen to them."

"Really?"

I nodded and leaned forwards. Quil hesitated for a fraction of a second before meeting my lips with his own. And this time, he didn't pull away when I opened my mouth to his, but kissed me deeper, leaving me breathless. Our other kisses had always been gentle, sweet, this was raw, burning, passionate. I was saturated by him—his scent, the feel of him under my hands, the taste of him. His hands slid up underneath my t-shirt, pressing me even tighter against him and I moaned at the sensation, wanting even more. But Quil was already starting to pull away. He kissed me lightly one last time, and rested his forehead against my own. I sighed.

"What happened to following advice?" I asked.

"It's very dangerous advice," he murmured against my skin. I drank in his breath.

It was dangerous, but I couldn't stop myself from seeking it. "Is there a reason why we should stop?"

He frowned. "I can think of a few."

"I can't," I said, kissing his exposed collarbone, moving up across his jaw. Katie's words were stuck in my head; what's stopping you; it's not like you have been in love since forever.

Quil was stopping us. He unwound my arms from around his neck, and pulled me off him. I laughed. "I can't help myself, but I'll be good from now on, I promise." I kissed him lightly and sat beside him, keeping a good two-foot buffer between us. But of course, the two feet shrunk rapidly; it was the first time that we'd ever been totally alone, the first chance I'd gotten to run my hands through his hair and along his bare skin…

"Claire," he groaned. "You're not making this very easy." He disentangled his fingers from my hair, and lay back against the blanket, breathing heavily. I fought for breath too; why was I making this so difficult?

"Distract me," I whispered.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, just talk to me—I don't care about what." He frowned a little. "Tell me what the rest of the pack thinks about me."

"You know they love you," he said simply. I reached over and shoved at his shoulder; I wanted more information than that.

"No, what do they think of us?"

He smiled. "It's not like they haven't been expecting it for awhile. They're happy for us."

"What did they think when you imprinted on me?"

He let out a bark of laughter. "Well, they obviously understood better than anyone else how I felt about you, but they were still surprised and confused. Mostly they thought it was ironic I guess."

"Ironic?"

Quil pushed himself up so that he was leaning on his elbows. He looked a little more wary now. "Well, when I was fifteen, I… sort of had a thing for older girls. Seniors and stuff."

Older girls. "And you got stuck with a two year old." A sick twisting feeling was building in my stomach. Quil saw my expression.

"Please don't look like that," he murmured softly. But I couldn't help it, it was just so typical. Of course Quil liked older women.

"Do you want to know what I thought?" he asked quietly. I nodded slowly. "Truthfully, I was kind of relieved. I was glad I had time to wait until you grew up." He spoke slowly, carefully choosing his words. "I saw what happened with Emily and Sam, and Jared and Kim, and it…scared me, that kind of love. The immediacy of it, the depth. You were just a baby, you didn't have any expectations, I was just Quil to you and I liked that. I liked being your friend. I was just as… devoted but it seemed easier somehow. I—I would have done anything for you, jumped off a cliff if it made you smile. You were the most important thing in the world to me, but when I was sixteen I wasn't ready for anything more."

"What about those senior girls?"

"Most of them had boyfriends," he admitted. "I liked the chase." He was sheepish.

"And after you imprinted? Did you still… chase?"

He raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Why? Are you jealous?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "I just want to know."

"I didn't… but that didn't stop girls from chasing me—do you really want to hear this?"

I nodded my head vigorously, not trusting myself to speak. "The first time was a surprise; I was seventeen, at a party with the guys, and there was this girl there that I'd been friends with a long time. I used to flirt with her a lot before…. Anyway, we were talking and she just leaned over and kissed me when I wasn't expecting it." He frowned at the memory. "And it was like someone kicked me in the gut, I couldn't breathe. I was so surprised that I pulled away."

"Did you want to kiss her?" I asked, feeling brave.

He shook his head. "Not really. She was just a friend. But I was really curious about my reaction; I wondered if it would be like that every time, with every girl."

"Was it?" My voice sounded slightly panicky. How many times had he tried?

"There was only one other girl," he smiled at my reaction. "I met her in Seattle, and she was… interested in me I guess. She was pretty and funny and I was curious…. It felt wrong though, like I was cheating " Still lying down, he wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his forehead against my hip. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"It's not exactly cheating Quil," I said, trying to make my voice light. "I was just a kid."

His hands slipped up under my shirt, brushing against the bare skin of my stomach. "No, you don't understand Claire. After I imprinted everything changed. Suddenly, I couldn't see anything but you. And when that first girl kissed me, I felt… nothing. No desire, no excitement, none of the things you're supposed to feel when a girl kisses you. The things I used to feel… I wondered if it would always be like that, if I would ever feel anything again. I didn't like to think about it."

"So with the other girl…"

"Yes?" The feel of his breath against my skin, along with his hands was starting to make me dizzy but I struggled to keep my head clear. There was still so much I wanted to know.

"Tell me—"I struggled with the words. My face colored. "What was it like, with her I mean?" I felt my shirt sliding higher up, and Quil's warm lips brushing against my steadily hotter skin.

"Are you trying to distract me?" I gasped.

I felt his lips curl into a smile. "I can't keep my hands off you."

"You're not answering my question!"

He sighed. "When I kissed her, it was just like before. Nothing. Don't worry Claire, nothing else happened." I exhaled slowly. "I was really afraid by then. I didn't know if I would ever feel it again. That kind of need." I felt him smile against my bare skin again. "And then you grew up and it hit me like a wrecking ball. You have no idea what this feels like, not having to keep secrets, or feel guilty, or hide what I really am. And I can do this." His nose nuzzled against my stomach, breathing deeply, and making me go hazy again.

But I fought against it. "I'm sure you've done this before Quil," I snorted.

He pulled away slightly and looked up at me, his face deadly serious. "Actually I haven't."

I felt like my eyes were going to fall of my head. "Seriously?"

He nodded, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "Seriously." His hands slid underneath my shirt again, and up until they rested on my shoulder blades. He pulled me closer. "I've never done anything like this before, not even before I imprinted."

I could feel my bones turning into jelly as I melted from his words. I wondered if it was actually possible to turn into a puddle. Quil, my Quil, was just as inexperienced as me. The vision of him with some gorgeous, older, more experienced rival was disappearing rapidly.

I smiled widely. "I don't know why, but that makes me really happy, I was always expecting the opposite."

"I love you Claire. I wasn't in-love with you then, but I never forgot who I belonged to."

I kissed him, quickly overwhelmed and dizzy again. His hands ran along my spine, and my hands mirrored his movements. But all too quickly, he pulled away again.

"I don't think I did a very good job distracting you," he smiled.

"Oh, I don't mind." But I moved back, still keeping tightly a hold of his hand. I wouldn't push him. "Wait, I have an idea." He looked down at me skeptically. "Would you show me your wolf form again?" I asked shyly. "It's been so long… and it's a good distraction."

"Maybe for you," he said quietly, but he grinned and kissed me lightly, before disappearing into the woods without a word.

I wondered, after he returned a few moments later, if I would ever get used to Quil in this form, if he would ever stop looking quite so big and strange to me, and yet so familiar at the same time. He gave me a huge disgusting kiss and settled down beside me. I leaned against him, burying my face in his fur, inhaling his scent.

"This is very nice." And I was right, it was easier.

I stretched out beside him, and stroked the fur of his neck lightly. "You're so soft Quil, and you smell… I don't even know how to describe it, but you smell good, sort of woodsy and ." I moved closer to him. "And you're so warm." Quil was looking at me, his eyes—the only mode of expression he had—were locked on my face. "I just wish you could talk, that's the only thing that would make this better."

We lay there I don't know how long, until the sky was beginning to darken behind the clouds and the wind started to blow colder, though I didn't feel it because I was so tightly wrapped up in Quil. I loved this, I realized as I lay there. I loved him.

"I'm glad you've never been with anyone before Quil," I murmured into his side. "I want to be the only one you ever touch." A noise erupted from his chest, a strange sort of humming, almost like the purr of cat. With a flick of his tongue, he lightly licked the end of my nose and made that strange laughing sound again, before lowering his head onto the sand next to me. I wrapped myself up in him, tangling my fingers into his fur.

Suddenly, his head snapped up and his ears pricked forward, it was as if he was listening to some call too low for me to hear, some inhuman sound. Never had he reminded me more of a wolf, his mannerisms had always been human, but now they were completely alien, exactly like the animal whose form he took. Quil moved quickly—one moment he lay beside me, the next he was on his feet, his body stiff with tension. I sat up too, confused at the sudden change.

"Quil, what happened?" I could hear the nervousness in my voice.

With his teeth, he grabbed at my clothes, tugging and pulling until I stood. He danced around me, pushing me backwards with his nose with such force that I almost fell. He was trying to tell me something, but I had no clue what it was. He was frenzied.

I raised my hands, trying to push him away. "Quil! Stop it, you're scaring me!" He froze. Our eyes met, and I could see the fear in them. "What are you trying to tell me?" My voice was too high.

I could see the indecision play in his eyes, some internal struggle. Without taking his eyes off me, he backed five feet away, his eyes beseeching me, but to do what I didn't know. I watched in dawning comprehension and horror as his form began to blur at the edges, shrinking and shimmering, until human Quil was standing in front of me. My jaw dropped.

He was naked.

Hastily, I dropped my eyes to ground, as hot blood rose across my neck and face. But Quil didn't give me any time for embarrassment; he was so focused that he hardly seemed to realize he was naked as he strode towards me.

"Come on Claire, we have to get back to La Push," he said hurriedly wrapping up the blanket that we had been lying on.

I forced my mind back to the present, but kept my gaze strictly above his neck. "What's happened, what's wrong?"

He just shook his head. "Sam is calling." He handed me the rolled up blanket. "The quickest way back is if I carry you on my back. Just hold on as tight as you can to my fur and I won't drop you." I nodded stupidly. "Don't move," he ordered and backed another fifteen feet away. His shape shimmered again and the wolf stood before me. For the first time, I took a deep breath; wolf Quil certainly was easier to be around.

He darted back towards the trees so fast that he was just a streak of brown against the grey. Before I had time to wonder where he'd gone or why, he emerged, his mouth full of the clothes that he had discarded earlier. I took them and added them to the bundle I already held in my arms. Quil knelt in front of me, and ungracefully I climbed onto his back and dug my hands deep into his fur.

He was off as soon as he thought I was securely settled on his back, running lithely and gracefully through the woods, weaving skillfully among the trees. I buried my face in his fur as my hair streamed out behind me and my stomach rolled with the too-fast motion. Every time I peeked out and saw the blurred world pass me by, a new wave of nausea over took me. And then, in a quarter of the time it had taken that morning, we were in the woods at the back of Sam and Emily's house.

I slid off his back, and stood there for a moment, too dazed to think straight. Quil phased in front of me again, but this time I was too stunned to blush decently and I unreservedly let my eyes travel across his body. Oh God…

Behind his dark skin I saw him flush deeply; he grabbed the clothes out of my hands and dressed quickly.

"Come on; let's see what Sam is so freaked out about."

The closer we got to the back door, the more wrinkled Quil's nose got; worry radiated from his every movement. "Vampire?" I whispered. He nodded, and shoved me behind him, blocking me from view as he carefully opened the door. Quil gave a quick, sharp intake of breath, but the tension left him as he saw what was inside.

"Quil, we have a problem," I recognized Sam's voice — he sounded more anxious than I had ever heard him before, and an instant intense feeling of foreboding overtook me. As much as it terrified me to finally learn what was waiting inside the house, it was not knowing that was a thousand times worse. Slowly I stood on my tiptoes and peered over Quil's shoulder. What I saw there made me gasp in surprise.

Sitting at the table in the little kitchen, looking perfectly at ease despite the fact that a roomful of werewolves surrounded them, were two of the most inhumanely, devastatingly beautiful creatures I had ever seen.

Author's Note: Another cliffhanger… sorry, it just felt right to leave off there.

So this is going to be my last update before Breaking Dawn, and then I think I'm going to take a break for a week or so afterwards, so everyone gets a chance to read the book. I want to keep this story as in canon as possible, so I will be incorporating what happens in BD as much as I can.

Of course, if I don't get my happy-ending (please Stephenie, please!) I might be too depressed to do anything for a while… so fingers crossed that Bella becomes a vampire and ends up with Edward, Jacob gets his own happy ending and NO one dies!

Anyway, only 3 more days until the release! I'm going to a Borders midnight release party, and I am wicked excited! I want to know how this story ends already!