Look who is posting way early this time! I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I'm kind of proud of it. And it gives you all a deeper look into what is going on so you don't have to guess so much. It was a challenge but I think it was really worth it. I hope you all do to! This is getting so fun. I love reading all of your theories! So, I'm cutting this short so you can read this thing. Let me know what you think. Not that I'm going to give anything away. Thank you all for reading and reviewing!
Chapter Twenty One
Her name was Lori Grimes. Another bitch that needed to be put in her place. His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he watched her walking down the street, swinging her hips and smiling at every man that happened to glance her way. Just another whore. He felt sweat trickle from his temple down to his jaw bone. They were all nothing but whores. And they all needed to be dealt with.
His breath was becoming ragged as he watched her get further and further away. She needed to be taught a lesson. She needed to know that it didn't matter that she was married to Rick. Rick was nothing. Rick was a power hungry child. A love sick boy. He was almost as repulsive as that youngest Dixon.
He began humming a tune. Trying to sooth his nerves. It usually worked but the thought of the Dixon boy was enough to cause him to see red. He didn't deserve what he had. He was nothing. Trash. Something to be disposed of. But he wasn't ready to get rid of the boy just yet. There were other things that needed to be handled. Things that were more pressing than that.
Like Lori Grimes.
He was ready to deal with the boy. Ready to watch him bleed for what he had done. He had seen them that day. Seen the kid back right into Carol's car. Saw him get out. Saw them talking. The way they had looked at each other had made him want to get sick. Surely she wasn't considering that boy. But she had indeed been considering him.
Carol was better than that. Carol was perfect. Or so he had thought. He hadn't had a chance to let her know how special she was, though. From that very day the boy had hit her car they had been together. The boy had spent the night at her house. He had seen the things they had been doing, right there from the kitchen window. He'd watched, standing there in the rain. And he had been so very close to ending that. If it hadn't been for a drunken Ed Peletier showing up he would have. He should have killed him too.
He had watched Ed peeking into the windows like a filthy pervert. He had slunk into the shadows after that but he wasn't a stupid man. He knew what Carol was letting that boy do to her. He had went home after he realized Ed was just going to stand there and watch them.
He watched Lori stop on the sidewalk. She waved at someone across the street. There, heading towards Lori, was another one. The blonde big shot.
Andrea.
It made him sick that she always wore those shirts that emphasized her breasts. Like it wasn't enough that she was successful. She needed attention for things other than her mind. Maybe he would give it to her. Give her all the attention she could ever want. But he wanted Lori first.
He thought about how these two needed him to take his time with them. Show them that they needed to be taught a lesson. Show them that it didn't matter how they looked or what they wore, or their social status. They had no right. They were nothing. They needed to be reminded that a woman had no place other than where a man put her. Carol understood this. Why couldn't they? His own mother hadn't understood either.
Yes, Carol had fallen from grace but it wouldn't take long to show her the way once more. He could only hope that she wasn't letting them all touch her. He grimaced as he imagined this. Her small body writhing under the touch of those men. Burning there under their gaze. Had they all felt what it was like to be inside of her? Is that the kind of thing she wanted now? Their lips kissing her? Their tongues tasting her skin? Could someone as perfect as her really want that? Well, soon there would be nothing left of them to want. Especially the boy.
He had seen them just yesterday. His hands all over. His mouth all over her. Kissing her. Touching her. And he had been so upset. He had thought, just for a second, to end it then. He thought he could just run them over. But he needed her. She already belonged to him, even if she didn't know it herself.
Carol would know that everything he had done had been for her. That bitch waitress that he had overheard talking about her behind her back. He had been there at the bar that night, waiting in the shadows. The woman had been another filthy whore. Someone else that wasn't worthy to be in the same room as Carol. And the way she had spoken of Carol had made him want to vomit. But he had made her pay for what she had said. Carol would know. She would understand that he was all she would ever need.
Lori and Andrea embraced, causing him to clench his teeth together. Yes, Carol didn't need them in her life. She didn't need any more encouragement to act the way she was acting. She needed to go back to the way she had been.
His sweet Carol needed him to show her the way.
~H~
Carol and Buck ordered a pizza and then ate it straight out of the box, in the living room, without plates. Because, today anyway, Carol and Buck were rebels. She wasn't even using a coaster. She was being an absolute villain. She couldn't help but smile. She would have never been so upset over being stuck with Buck all day if she had known that he was so much fun. She felt like a child. Her own father had been a complete workaholic. He gave her anything she wanted except for his attention and she had always been understanding about it. Even when she was young she knew that he was doing the best he could for her. But Buck, at least to her, was absolutely perfect. The entire day seemed to have been about her. She still felt like a little kid.
Today was like one of those days she used to dream about having with her own father. After the trip to the grocery store they had sat around for a while and then suddenly, out of nowhere, he had grabbed her by the hand, led her out to the garage, and hopped onto his bike. She, of course, had stood there like a fool.
"You ever been on a bike before, darlin?" He had asked with a wicked grin.
When she told him no he had laughed and told her to get on. She had been terrified at first. As soon as they hit the country road he started flying. She had squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face into his back, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping her from taking flight. She had heard his rumbling laughter even over the roar of the motorcycle and the rushing wind. She had eventually forced herself to raise her head and open her eyes, though the wind burned them, causing her to squint.
She hadn't felt such a rush since... Well, actually this was almost what it had been like in her room the other night with Daryl. It was a rush and it was scary and exciting and completely beyond her expectations. It was gratification on a very primal level and she loved it. She wanted her own bike, since she already had her own little band of bikers. That thought had caused her to laugh out loud and then she clamped her mouth shut. As unbelievable as all this was she wasn't ready to pick any bugs out of her teeth.
They stopped at a Krystals in the next town over so they could grab some lunch. The cashier was a cute girl with an Irish lilt to her voice. He had charmed her quickly into giving him her number. When she had looked pointedly at Carol with raised eyebrows he had just shrugged and introduced her as his daughter. Carol had laughed and rolled her eyes but that was all the girl needed to know. She introduced herself as Hannah and scribbled her number on a napkin. Buck seemed to be pretty pleased with himself.
They ended up stopping by a lake on their way home. She wasn't sure why but she was thrilled either way. The weather was perfect for it anyway so she didn't ask any questions. It felt good to be out of the house. And she had learned a great deal about the man as they sat there by the edge of the water.
His own father had been a brutal man. An alcoholic and a drifter who dragged Buck all over the south as he did odd jobs and peddled dope. Buck's mother had died having him, causing his father to go off the deep end. According to Buck, his mama had been the only thing his daddy had ever loved. And Buck had been the one to kill her. Buck took her away from his father and his father wasn't one to let something like that go.
He had been exposed to all sorts of violence and abuse. Not just a the hands of his dad but at the hands of any of his dads friends that thought beating up on a boy was a short cut to a good laugh. By the time Buck was fourteen he had ran off and lived on the streets in Savannah for a while. He'd survived by stealing, foraging, and eventually, selling drugs himself.
She was dying to know how he had met Merle and Daryl's mother but she wouldn't ask. He seemed to be speaking more to himself as he told her of his past. Like he had momentarily forgot that she was there to listen. She should have found it strange that he was telling her all of this, but she didn't. For some reason it just seemed natural to be sitting there, letting him tell her things he may have never shared with anyone else. She had to wonder if Daryl and Merle even knew these things. Or if it was just something that he was only willing to share with her.
She understood him better now. A little bit, anyway. And she hoped she would know the rest of his story some day. She wanted to know why, after suffering at the hands of his own father, did he do the same to his own boys. And did he hurt their mom also? No, she would never voice these questions, but they burned inside her all the same.
After quite an adventurous day she was now sprawled out on the couch, feeling nauseous at the gross amount of pizza she had consumed, with her legs draped over Bucks lap. They were watching the news, which she hated but he seemed interested in. She felt her eyelids growing heavy but something the anchorwoman said had her eyes snapping open and she sat up.
"...body found at a construction site yesterday was recently identified as that of nineteen year old local girl, Amy Bell..."
"Oh my God!" She gasped as she stared at the image of the smiling blonde on the screen. "I know her."
She glanced at Buck, who was watching her worriedly. "It's a small town, darlin'. Everybody knows everybody around here." He patted her leg.
She knew he was right but something was wrong here. This all just felt too personal. "Buck, I think someone wants to kill me." She said in a low but frantic voice.
His eyes hardened and his hand tightened on her knee. "Ain't nobody gonna get the chance to lay a hand on ya, baby girl. It'd be best for you to remember that." He growled. "This ain't nothin' but some psycho pussy preyin' on women, you hear me?"
"But my dog..."
"Stop." he ordered. "Ain't no man out there got the balls to try to get past the three of us, even if someone was to get it in their head to hurt you. You should know that by now."
She felt herself growing calm. They wouldn't let anyone hurt her. She was fine, even if someone out there did, for whatever reason, want her dead. She tried to shake that thought. It really couldn't be true. If someone really wanted to kill her then that person would have rammed that big truck right into her and Daryl. But he had driven right by them. Only coming close enough to almost give her a heart attack.
He must have seen that she was calming down because that hard look vanished.
"I'm really glad you're here, Buck." She said softly.
He gave her a strange look and then smiled. "You know what, I think that's about the first time anybody has ever said that to me."
She eased herself back down and turned her head towards the television once more. She felt safe here. She was fine as long as one of them were with her.
Buck changed the channel before the commercial was over.
~H~
Daryl hated it when Merle drove. He either went too damn slow or too damn fast. Right now he was going too slow. It was getting late. He hadn't meant to stay gone as long as they had but they had gone much deeper into the woods than they had realized. It had taken them forever to get back to the truck. Merle was getting a little itchy so he was in a bad mood. Daryl hadn't told him about Dave coming by. He was almost sure that it wouldn't really have effected Merle's decision to quit, but almost wasn't good enough. He would keep it from him for now.
They had been out for most of the day but neither of them had managed to kill shit. Merle had taken a .22 rifle but hadn't even fired it. Daryl had tried for a few squirrels but missed every time. His head just wasn't in it. They had mostly just enjoyed being outdoors. That was the one place Daryl had always been able to feel comfortable. No prying eyes and no judgmental glares from people he didn't even know. It was home to him. Or it had been. Now home was wherever she was.
"Wonder how Carol and Buck's day went?" Merle asked as he finally picked up a little bit of speed.
Daryl chuckled. "Hard tellin' with them two."
Merle just nodded. "You're easin' up on the ol' man a bit."
Daryl tensed. Had he been easing up on Buck? He hadn't noticed if he had. He knew why Carol wanted him to try. He even understood why Merle wanted him to try. But as far as Daryl was concerned, Buck had a long way to go before he earned any kind of acceptance from him. Daryl carried more scars than Merle did. He thought maybe he knew why but he wasn't sure. Maybe it was because Buck new that Merle was a lot like him and Daryl was nothing like the two. Maybe it was the fact that Daryl looked like the one person Buck had never been able to hold on too. Maybe it was just because Buck was a piece of shit drunk that felt like beating the shit out of his youngest kid just because he could. Or maybe, just maybe, somehow, Daryl had earned it. He shook that last thought from his mind.
Yeah, Buck definitely had a long way to go when it came to his youngest son.
"You know, the man really is tryin', little brother. Even you can see that." Merle muttered.
"Maybe the mother fucker should have made the effort to try before he bout killed me. Even you gotta see that."
Merle shook his head. "You don't understand. He was outta his head. He didn't even know what he was doin' that night."
"I don't need his fuckin' excuses, Merle. I don't need yours either. Just shut up and drive the fuckin' truck. It's been a good day. No sense in you ruinin' it by openin' your mouth." He glared out the window.
"He regrets doin' that, little brother." Merle went on.
Daryl glared at him. "Yeah? Well, after him watchin' you last night I'm pretty sure he feels real bad about turnin' you into a goddamn junkie. But that didn't make last night any easier now, did it? I don't get you. You just sweep that shit under the rug. Fuck him. He can rot in hell."
"I know Carol wants you to let shit go."
Daryl couldn't believe he was still talking. And playing the Carol card was low. "That's cause she's too good to see him for what he really is."
Merle snorted. "You see how he is with her. She knows who he is. Who he is now anyway."
"Now don't matter, Merle." He muttered as he looked out the side window.
"Now is the only fuckin' thing that can matter, boy. You best not forget that."
Daryl didn't say anything else. It wouldn't do him any good too. He could talk till he was blue in the face and Merle wouldn't drop it. When they finally pulled into the driveway he felt his heart start to pick up speed and his stomach felt all fucking trembly. What the fuck was wrong with him?
He jumped out and hurried up the porch steps. The house was dark, except for the light from the T.V.. Merle headed straight for the kitchen.
Carol and Buck were on the couch, her legs draped over his lap. She was asleep but Buck's eyes flashed up to meet his. Daryl nodded, Buck nodded back and then both their eyes went to her face. He was glad Buck was here, at the moment anyway. If for no other reason than to protect her. And he knew that Buck would. He couldn't help but wonder why it was so easy for Buck to walk into Carol's life and be the man that he couldn't ever be for him and Merle. Not that he cared. He would rather him be like that with her than him anyway. It was too late for the man to do anything for him.
"How long she been out?" Daryl asked quietly as he sat down in the chair across from them.
Buck shrugged. "About an hour. She talks in her sleep, ya know that?" Buck chuckled.
Daryl snorted. "Hell, no. She always ends up sleepin' with Merle's dumb ass."
"That comes with havin' Merle as a brother." Merle whispered from the doorway. "All your women will probably end up in bed with ol Merle baby brother." he winked.
Daryl rolled his eyes. "Fuck off."
"Probably need to get her to bed, boy. She got herself freaked out a little bit a while ago." Buck muttered as he met Daryl's eyes again. "That girl they found was somebody she knew."
Daryl felt his muscles tense. "Who was it?"
Buck just shrugged. "Amy somethin'. It was enough to spook her real good."
"Ain't that the girl that was tryin' to fuck ya last week?" Merle asked from the doorway.
Daryl frowned but nodded, causing Buck's eyebrows to shoot up. "You knew this girl too?" Buck asked.
"Went to school with her. I never talked to her till the other day."
Merle snorted. "Nah, he didn't just talk to her. She picked his ass right up outta the driveway. Had Carol all tore up. Didn't come back for about three hours."
Buck looked at him in disbelief. "What the fuck would you do that for? Boy ain't you got a goddamn clue how good of a woman you got? Jesus." He shook his head.
"That ain't what happened. Amy was gonna pay me to fix her car but turned out there wasn't even nothin' wrong with it. That was just a way for her to get me to go with her."
Merle laughed. "She wanted Daryl to take a long hard look under her hood."
"Goddamn, Merle, the girls dead. You can cut the jokes now." Daryl grumbled.
Merle just shrugged.
Buck shook Carol's legs and she sat straight up, blinking sleep from her eyes. When she looked up and spotted Daryl she grinned, causing another wave of that fucked up fluttery feeling to hit his stomach. He refused to call it butterflies. That was pussy stuff.
"Did you kill Flower?" She asked sleepily.
He shook his head. "Didn't kill a damn thing. I bet your ass is thrilled." He snorted.
"A little." She looked around then and frowned. "How long was I asleep?"
"Not long." Buck said as he laid his own head back into the cushion and yawned.
She swung her legs around so they were tucked under her and then she shocked them all by leaning over and kissing Buck on the jaw. "Thanks for today Buck. It was great."
Buck recovered quickly and gave her a small smile. "Any time, darlin'."
She got up then and headed towards the stairs. "Where the fuck's mine?" Merle called after her.
"Goodnight, Merle." She called over her shoulder.
"Night, Carol." He grinned even though he was starting to sweat and his hands trembled.
Daryl followed her. It was going to be another long night. He could tell that she was exhausted but he didn't think there was any way he could keep her from going to Merle's room. Not if Merle needed her. And Daryl knew that he did.
She was crawling into bed before he even made it to the doorway.
"When do you think we'll get a full nights sleep again?" She mumbled as she snuggled in deeper into her pillow.
He was stripping down to his boxers as he made his way to the bed. He turned off the light before he crawled in after her. "I don't know. Another few days probably. He ain't never made it this far."
"That's good. He's doin' real good." She mumbled.
She rolled over so she was facing him so he pulled her closer causing her to laugh quietly. She kissed him and then buried her head under his chin. "I missed you." She whispered.
He tightened his arm around her and smiled in the dark. "I missed you too.
It seemed like only seconds passed before her breathing evened out and he knew she was asleep.
So now you know that, yes, this does all revolve around Carol. Why? Because she is awesome =) Thanks again for reading! I hope you all have a great Tuesday!
P.S. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to respond to everyones reviews yesterday. My computer was acting like a complete spazz and my email and everything else kept booting me out. I think it is all better now. It better be, anyway!