Family Road Trips

by TheDoctorOrGabriel

Sam, Dean, Cas, Gabriel, Michael and Lucifer are on their way to Chuck's conventions. What goes on between Angels and Winchesters and the Devil. Later, adventures after convention ends. Sam/Gabriel Eventually Dean/Cas Hilarity ensues. rated M for languag

21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural and thank god I don't own the rights to song lyrics I used. . . .and quotes from the Bible

Note: Sorry, it's been so long since I updated, I got swamped with homework. It wasn't writer's block, strangely, I don't get that.

Dean: "What the fuck kind of music is this?"

Chuck: "The good kind."

Dean: "It sucks."

Chuck: "It's normal, mullet music freak."

Dean: "Hey!"

Sam: "Gabe! Move your hand!"

Gabriel: "Fine."

Sam: ". . . .Your OTHER hand."

Gabriel: "It's not hurting you!"

Sam: "Just move it!"

Michael: "Just keep going north."

Chuck: "Okay."

Bobby: "We've only been going north."

Michael: "I'm following what the compass says."

Chuck: "The compass is always right."

Bobby: "Not if there's a magnet near."

Dean: "Why do you have that?"

Gabriel: "Hehehehe."

Sam: "Put that magnet away, Gabe!"

Gabriel: "But it says 'I heart Wincest'!"

Sam: "PUT IT AWAY!"

Dean: "THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!"

Bobby: "Great. Now, since idjit had a magnet it probably screwed up the compass."

Michael: "No. I don't think it did. The arrow still points north."

Chuck: "Good."

Bobby: ". . . .Wait, which arrow are you looking at?"

Michael: "This one."
Bobby: "THAT ARROW ALWAYS POINTS NORTH!"

Chuck: ". . . .Shit."

Michael: "I meant this arrow. . ."

Chuck: "Okay, where are we?"

Dean: "This sucks."

Cas: "What sucks?"

Dean: "What we got ourselves into."

Cas: ". . . .We're in a car."

Sam: "It's okay. All we need to do is—MOVE YOUR HAND—find a road sign or something."

Gabriel: "I didn't do nothing!"

Dean: "Hey! Idiot on the roof! Can you see a sign?"

Lucifer: ". . . ."

Dean: ". . . .Hello?"

Lucifer: ". . . ."

Michael: "I think he hit his head on a low branch."

Chuck: "Don't we have a map?"

Bobby: "Nope."

Michael: "We had one, but I threw it out the window."

Chuck: "Why?"

Michael: "Cos I didn't agree with it."

Chuck: "Well, we're someplace in the continental US."

Dean: "Nooo. We're on Mars, dumbshit."

Cas: "We are on Earth, Dean."

Dean: ". . . .I know that, Cas."

Gabriel: "Ahahaha! Cas is getting' funny again!"

Sam: "The convention was in Wisconsin. . . ."

Michael: "Wisconsin is worst than Hell. . . ."

Chuck: "If we've been going north the whole time we're probably in. . . ."

Gabriel: "Alaska."

Dean: "Shut up, Wincest freak!"

Bobby: "We're in Canada. Fucking Canada."

Sam: "How did we pass the border?"

Gabriel: "Pssht. Mounties and their high horses. Besides, I made the horses. Not Poseidon, what a mooch. He stole all the credit, Sammy!"

Sam: "What did you do to the mounties?"

Gabriel: "Nothing! But I did move my hand! Aren't you proud of me?"

Dean: "Just turn around."

Chuck: "Okay hold on."

Cas: "Is Canada bad?"

Dean: "No! They have Canadian Bacon!"

Gabriel: "Thinking with your stomach again?"

Sam: "Gabe, why did you move your hand back?"

Dean: "STOP TOUCHING HIM ALREADY!"

Gabriel: "Stop yelling! All you do is yell, yell, yell, YELL!"

Dean: "And all you do is molest Sammy and annoy the crap out of me!"

Gabriel: "This might be hard for you to hear, Dean-o. But, Sammy is a big boy now, so stop being an overprotective brother and BACK THE FUCK OFF."

Dean: "Stop trying to act like a grownup, with grownup relationships, and grownup problems. When I know you're just a runaway angel kid, who cries when he doesn't get his way. SO GROW THE FUCK UP."

Sam: "Can both of you just SHUT UP?"

Bobby: "Where are we headed Chuck?"

Chuck: "We gotta go to Texas, that's where I bought the llama."

Dean: 'Aww! I love Texas!"

Sam: "Me too!"

Gabriel: "Me four! No, three!"

Dean: "Get outta here, Gabriel."

Cas: "Arizona is far from here."

Michael: "It's going to be a long ride."

Chuck: "We gotta go back through Wisconsin."

Gabriel: "You think they'll sell anymore cool magnets?"

Sam: "No, no more magnets!"

Cas: "I have a magnet too. It says 'Cas plus Dean'"

Dean: "Aaaww!"

Gabriel: "I mean, c'mon! Mine's is sooo much better!"

Chuck: "Is Lucifer still out?"

Bobby: "Well, he's been oddly quiet."

Michael: "I hope he's out the whole trip."

Chuck: "I can't believe that the Devil was taken out by a stick."

Bobby: "Must've been some branch."

Michael: "I like trees now. Well, that tree."

Dean: "Can you please change the radio station?"

Chuck: "Fine."

Dean: "I don't like this station."

Chuck: "Not many work. It's either this one or the one that preaches the Bible."

Michael: "No. I don't wanna hear that crap."

Sam: "Did you just call the Bible crap?"

Dean: "Yeah, isn't that like, sacred and holy?"

Michael: "Yeah, uh-uh. Lucifer wrote half of it."

Sam: "Seriously?"

Gabriel: "If you could read his handwriting. And he couldn't spell for shit."

Dean: "Wow."

Chuck: "Oh! I got this station to work! What song is it?"

Radio: "Ohh Wooaahhh. . . ."

Dean: "That's such a high voice!"

Radio: "Ohh Wooaahhh. . . ."

Sam: "This sounds like. . . ."

Radio: "Ohh Wooaahhh. . . ."

Gabriel: "This is a chick singin'?"

Radio: "You know you love me, I know you care, just shout whenever and I'll be there-"

Sam: "Aaahh! Turn it off!"

Dean: "This song's on the tip of my tongue. . . ."

Gabriel: "I love this song!"

Radio: "—And I was like-"

Dean: "Hold on, I almost got it. . . ."

Lucifer: "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

Radio: "—Like-"

Lucifer: "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

Radio: "—Like-"

Lucifer: "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH! I THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MINE! MINE. . . ."

Dean: "Yeah. . . .I have no clue."

Michael: "I guess, Lucifer's awake."

Lucifer: "OH FOR YOU, I WOULD'VE DONE WHATEVER AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE WE AIN'T TOGETHER-"

Sam: "I hate this song!"

Gabriel: "AND I WANNA PLAY IT COOL BUT I'M LOSIN' YOU-"

Lucifer: "I'LL BUY YOU ANYTHING, I'LL BUY YOU ANY RING-"

Bobby: "This sucks major balls."

Michael: "This is his second favorite song."

Chuck: "It's the only station that works."

Dean: "I don't know what it's called!"

Cas: "Is it sung by a girl?"

Dean: "Sounds like it. Oh! Is it Brittany Spears?"

Sam: "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

Gabriel: "—And I was like-"

Lucifer: "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

Gabriel: "—Like-"

Lucifer: "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

Gabriel: "—Like-"

Lucifer: "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH! I THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MINE! MINE. . . ."

Dean: "Man, it's pretty catchy."

Sam: "NO IT ISN'T!"

Bobby: "Aaww, they sound like they're bonding."

Michael: "I don't wanna bond with them."

Chuck: "I like the Luda part. . . .Why the fuck is Luda in it, anyway? He's the shit, why's he singing this shit?"

Dean: "Can you wrap?"

Chuck: "Find out. . . .WHEN I WAS 13 I HAD MY FIRST LOVE. THERE WAS NOBODY THAT COMPARED TO MY BABY AND NOBODY CAME BETWEEN US, NO ONE COULD EVER COME ABOVE-"

Bobby: "Enh, nothing special."

Sam: "I'm turning the channel!"

Radio: "—She had me going crazy, oh I was starstruck—I looked up and saw a white horse. Its rider carried a bow, and a crown was placed on his head. He rode out to win many battles and gain victory."

Gabriel: "Is this the Bible station?"

Lucifer: "Hey! I liked that song!"

Radio: "And another horse appeared, a red one. Its rider was given a mighty sword and the authority to remove peace from the earth. And there was war and slaughter everywhere."

Lucifer: "Heeeyyy. . . .this sounds familiar. . . ."

Cas: "This is the Book of Revelations."

Dean: "It's the fucking Horseman. I owned all their asses! 'Cept Death, of course."

Cas: "And Pestilence."

Dean: "Just ruin my moment."

Sam: "I did famine."

Dean: "SHUDDAUP!"

Radio: "And I looked up and saw a black horse, and its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand."

Sam: "Beats the other station."

Radio: "And I looked up and saw a horse whose color was pale green like a corpse. And Death was the name of its rider, who was followed around by the grave."

Dean: "Technically, it was a black car and it was SWEET. Oh, and he likes Chicago pizza."

Bobby: "Huh."

Michael: "It sounds familiar, Lucifer, BECAUSE YOU WROTE IT!"

Lucifer: "I did?. . . .Oh yeah. . . .It was my creative writing story. . . . Sold a lot of copies!"

Chuck: "Ho, my gospel's gonna sound so badass!"

Gabriel: "Boring! I'm changing it back!"

Radio: "And when the Lamb broke the fifth seal—Your world is my world, and my fight is your fight-"

Gabriel: "AND MY BREATH IS YOUR BREATH, AND YOUR HEART-"

Sam: "What is this? A fucking torturous marathon?"

Lucifer: "One Time sucks, it's not Baby!"

Bobby: "I was listening to that."

Radio: "Let me tell you one time—Then I saw an angel come down from heaven with the key to the bottomless pit and a heavy chain in his hand."

Lucifer: ". . . ."

Michael: ". . . ."

Radio: "He seized the dragon—that old serpent, the Devil, Satan—and bound him in chains for a thousand years."

Dean: ". . . ."

Sam: ". . . ."

Cas: ". . . ."

Gabriel: ". . . ."

Bobby: ". . . ."

Chuck: ". . . ."

Radio: "The angel threw him into the bottomless pit, which he then shut and locked so Satan could not deceive the nations anymore until the thousand years were finished."

Lucifer: ". . . ."

Michael: ". . . ."

Dean: ". . . ."

Sam: ". . . ."

Cas: ". . . ."

Gabriel: ". . . ."

Bobby: ". . . ."

Chuck: ". . . ."

Gabriel: ". . . .Awkward!"