The pounding in his head was so severe that Allen could have sworn that his brain had suddenly become animated and was now making its life goal the task of breaking free of his skull which, apparently, was a cage. The aching throb was periodic. The pulsation sent a dull pain around his eyes and the sides of his forehead. The pressure forming behind these spots was as concerning as the pain slamming into his skull itself. They pulsed, intensifying with each passing second. The increasing pressure made his thoughts slow, but it wasn't as if he could really comprehend any of what he was thinking anyway. His thoughts were like a slug's trail of mush. It traveled through his mind, which acted as a path, and left behind an impression. But that impression wasn't significant or distinct enough to be recognizable. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't understand his own passing thoughts. So he stopped trying. Instead of thinking or questioning what had happened — both of which would have been the smart thing to do, seeing he had no memory of why he was waking up again— he simply let his body relax, tried to ignore the pain and pressure in his skull, and listened.
Nothing….
And nothing….
But then… Something.
It was when he allowed his body to go limp, as if he was boneless, and stopped paying attention to his muddled thoughts that some form of life finally made its way to his dormant mind. And it was with the sound of voices.
He recognized each voice almost immediately as they found him. There's Lenalee, he thought when her soft tone chimed in suddenly. And there's Bakanda… Lavi too. The voices continued on, and he kept silently naming off who each person was.
Link. Krory. Even Miranda's concerned, jumpy tone suddenly made an appearance. Each voice was a mess of sounds and jumbled pitches. Like his thoughts, they weren't comprehensible. Not at first… Slowly, like a wave gradually inching its way onto the sandy shore, things became clearer and began to flow normally. And it was from this normalcy that panic eventually sprung forth.
"What do you want, Mole?" There was Lavi again. His voice had taken on a strained tone. It almost sounded like he had to spit the words out from around gravel.
Mole?
Allen's mind went blank for a moment. He recognized the nickname but couldn't recall who it was linked to.
"I wasn't the one who called you here." The calm remark suddenly brought a feeling of unease. He knew that voice… Tyki Mikk. The sudden realization hit him hard, like a fist flying into his gut. It left him alarmed, tense, and apprehensive.
"Road," there was Lenalee, "what is it you want?"
"Forget what she wants." Kanda piped in. As usual, the man couldn't hold his tongue. "We aren't going to be another toy she can play with."
Road and Tyki… Both there.
Allen finally willed his mind to work, and in that panicked state when he realized the threat around him he began to reach out. He felt his surroundings without moving a finger, without speaking a word. He reached out using his senses to the best of his ability. There was no distinct smell that came to him. Nothing but the usual fresh scent of air tickled his trained nose. Carried on the air was the sound of voices. Those of his friends, once again, he realized. For a moment his mind began to take another path, focusing on the words. But, like a person blinded without their glasses squinting at something that would only increasingly become blurry, the more he focused on those voices, the more they seemed to distance themselves and fade away like a shout to the wind.
Focus...
Focus…..
Voices forgotten, his senses took him through a journey of scent, sound, taste, and touch. The air was fresh, free of any tainting smells. The sounds that encompassed him were like the static on TV. Nothing discernable, nothing he could point out, nothing distinct. He open his mouth to breath in, hoping to catch a taste of something in the air, something other than the bland taste that lingered in his mouth. Nothing… Last was touch. He moved his fingers slowly, feeling a surface beneath him that was neither soft nor hard. There was a certain texture to it that made it seem odd, unreal. He couldn't place this feeling, though it held a familiarity that pricked his senses and urged him to take action against something or another. Finally he was left with his last sense: Sight. It was the sense he was most skilled in, if such a thing could be said. Nights without any light, days in dark box cars in trains, playing poker by the swinging lamps and every other godforsaken situation that required him to heighten this ability made it his most reliable sense. So he decided to open his eyes.
Such a trivial task seemed so sluggish now. His eyes opened at a speed that made the seconds tick by at a rate that could be maddening. And in the midst of this, everything around him suddenly changed.
In a sudden gust of chilling, frigid wind, the atmosphere suddenly changed. It was silent around him, as silent as death itself as it lurked in the depths of darkness from the deepest of shadows. The wind was filled with the scent of animals, food, and the underlining but insistent scent of rain, signaling the coming of a storm. But the air was far too cold for a rain storm. The hard surface beneath him already felt frozen. The sudden change in his surroundings was alarming, but his eyes were already opening. It was far too late to shut them and ignore the sudden change, even if he had wanted to.
Hesitant and slow, his lids flicked open. And he saw white.
His vision wasn't what was white. It was everything around him that was camouflaged by the white of virgin snow.
"E-eh?"
Alarmed, Allen shot up. His sudden movement caused a shower of flakes to fall from his hair, the color mimicking his head of locks. He watched as the flurries descended before reaching up to touch his hair, cheek, shoulders. Each spot was covered in a delicate layer of snow. Brushing away the flakes, Allen's mind reeled. It was as if he had been lying in the snow for hours. Even his body felt like it had been enclosed in a block of ice. But there had been warmth around him just moments ago. Why then? Why this sudden change? And why did time seem to have no effect?
Allen could have sat and wondered for ages. He could have lain around thinking and thinking until he drew his last breath with how complicated such a question was when faced with limited memory. But a distraction presented itself before he could be drawn into his mind once more. And it came as the sound of feet pounding against stone.
Once again a sound grasped his attention, pulling his head to the side like the reins on a horse direct its path. His head swiveled to the side, his eyes turning with it, and just in time to meet a face full of snow as someone ran right past him.
He sputtered and coughed. As his eyes bulged from the sockets and turned straight ahead he spat snow and saliva onto the stone ground beneath him. There before him, now stopping just a few feet away, coughing and dry-heaving, was a young boy.
His body was turned, keeping his face from view, and a hood shielded anything else Allen might have seen with it out of the way. The boy was a stranger. But Allen's chest ached with a sudden pain, like a painful, unfulfilled yearning, as he stared. He wasn't sure if it was the uneven sound of the child's heaving breaths. Or if it could have been the coughs that left him repeatedly, making his shoulders shake. Out of everything, he was convinced it had to be the sobbing that suddenly erupted from that tiny frame. But he knew one thing… He pitied the child.
"Hello… Little kid." Allen spoke up as he pressed his palms against the earth and pushed, hoisting himself up. There was no answer. The sobbing continued, prompting a pang in Allen's chest.
Well…. Maybe he can't hear me.
"Hey, little kid." He tried again. His feet shuffled against the covered stone ground. The snow crunched quietly beneath each of his footsteps as he slowly closed the distance between them as nothing but the sound of wind and cries met his ears. The boy acted as if he wasn't there. As if he was a spectator that could only witness, not intercede. Quite frankly, that annoyed the young Brit. He concealed his temper well, especially in the presence of a young child, but he couldn't help feeling suddenly annoyed. The kid could have answered. He should have… Shouldn't he? Taking a deep breath, Allen tried to compose himself. He didn't know what the child was going through. He could give it one last try…
"Hello. Little boy… If you're lost I could-"
His words cut off. His sentence ended abruptly before it could be finished.
No… This wasn't right.
His hand had gone through the little boy.
Silver eyes stared, wide with bewilderment, as his hand suddenly went through the child's shoulder again as he drew it back carefully. The boy didn't react. The only thing that happened was a waver in the image, as if his touch had disrupted something.
"Wha?"
"It's not real."
He could have died right then by how quickly his heart pounded in his chest as he jumped back. In a panic, he whirled around quickly and came face to face with a shock of red hair held upright by a dark bandana.
"Lavi?" The name came to him easily upon a surge of memories. Before the red head could answer he suddenly burst out, "That's right! We were in the dining hall when Komui suddenly had me attacked by that Komulin of his." He shivered, opened his mouth for his usual complaint… But then stopped. "Why are we here then?"
He looked to Lavi who responded with a shrug and a sigh. "Man, you should really give me a chance to speak, moyashi,-"
"It's Allen!-"
"- I was going to explain to you what happened." Lavin finished, ignoring Allen's interference. Seeing the annoyed look suddenly etched onto his companion's face made him laugh.
"Well? Explain, Lavi." Allen said impatiently.
"Okay, okay." Sighing, the red head's composure suddenly shifted. Joking aside, now was the time to be serious. "Somehow Road got to us. We're in one of her dreams, I think." Pausing, he reached back to itch the back of his neck as his trained eyes scanned their surroundings. "We're all together though. Or at least we were. We split up, hoping to find you. They can't be too far though."
"Alright." Allen said, though his tone held hesitation. Lavi realized why when the youth's monochrome eyes slowly slid from his only companion at the time to the young boy standing before them, his head bowed and sobs still carried from his mouth by the chilling wind that blew around them and against them. "You said the child isn't real. But… it still feels wrong to just leave him here." Allen admitted truthfully.
"Well," Lavi began his hand still at the back of his neck where he now began to tug at the bottom of his bandanna carefully. "It's not like we can move him. You saw what happened when you tried. He's not real, so we can't take him with us, Allen." Lavi said. He hesitated for a moment and then added, slowly, "But we can still follow him and hope he leads us toward the others."
"Right." Allen responded firmly with a curt nod. And, as if acting upon their thoughts, the child suddenly ran ahead.
"Seems like it's time to go." Lavi called out as he jogged forward. Allen was right on his tail, the two of them carefully maneuvering themselves through the labyrinth of winding vacant streets and the obstacles littering them. The snow was still falling steadily onto the already concealed roads and houses. For a brief moment as Allen ran, trailing right behind Lavi, he wondered if they would drown in the stark whiteness that seemed to drain the color out of the small town.
"This is one of Road's dreams." Allen stated, calling above the wind whipping around their racing frames. "Based on what you saw before, Lavi, who do you think this kid could be?"
"Not sure, really." The red head calmly replied. His twisting expression was hidden from Allen as he thought, conflicted over the possibilities that suddenly presented themselves inside of his mind. I only saw people I knew, Lavi thought as he darted forward after the weeping child. Actually, they had all been from the Order. But Allen doesn't know who this is. Neither do I.
Stumped and unprepared to make an accurate guess, Lavi let the suddenly screaming winds drown out the possibility of making any sort of estimate out loud. He needed more time to think. All of a sudden, the child veered to the right, heading down a vacant alleyway. The two exorcists followed quietly. Toward the end of the narrow path the boy's footsteps slowed. Lavi and Allen quickly followed suit, ending up traveling in a slow gait behind the boy as the three of them exited the alley. Before them was a small building. The eaves of the building seemed to sag toward the ground. The snow above them aided the illusion, making the building look a bit top-heavy. It was small and wooden looking. Just outside was a sign that swung in the wind. The motion kept the flakes from settling on the sign and thus allowed them to read the fading crimson letters. The King's Rest Inn.
"An inn?" The boy's words sounded in unison and they spared each other a quick glance before stepping forward. Surely this was where the child was headed. His father and mother must be inside and perhaps an older brother or sister. Surely they would also usher the child in, accept them with open arms, a welcoming smile, and soothing gestures that would dry the tears streaming down the child's cheeks behind the hood drawn over his head. Lavi and Allen both knew they had reached the end of their small journey. In minutes the child would disappear with his parents, leaving them with more questions and not a single answer.
But it was when that boy suddenly stopped in front of the Inn and stood before the stairs at the entrance that they realized their expectations were wrongly assumed. For a moment they were baffled. Why in the world was the child stopping now? But then they spotted something they hadn't before when first inspecting the building before them. There was a man. How both of them could miss such an important detail, they weren't sure of. He was dressed in all black, though it seemed more like the drab black of oil than the glistening ebony of a raven's wings. Still, it was a stark contrast to the white dotting out every other color that could have animated the town around them.
They watched the man with curiosity, half frightened for the child and half anticipating what would happen next. But then the man slowly moved. Even as an adult he was a head lower than the child because of how low he was sitting. Because of this when he looked at the child he looked up. Half of a top hat concealed his face. But the other half was visible and distinct enough to send a shock wave through Allen.
"Allen… That isn't Mana, is it?"
Too shocked to speak at first, Allen nodded. Then he cleared his throat and carefully said, "Yes… That's Mana. But I don't understand how he could be here."
Staring with a sort of perplexed expression, Allen and Lavi both watched as the mouth upon Mana's face slowly tilted up. His lips were cracked and the slight hint of teeth that was revealed was almost yellowish in color, due to the limited supplies the man had. But his mouth had turned up into a kind smile, and the very sight of it was like a warm welcome. Mimicking the feeling his smile gave, Mana said, "Welcome home, Allen."
A gust of wind rattled the small frame before Mana and a violent shiver shook the hood of the boy's coat down to his shoulders. Pristine ivory hair, lying as shaggy strands that tickled the skin just below the boy's jaw... And then the observing Allen looked, seeing an over-sized mitten around the young boy's hand. That was him… And suddenly realization slammed into him with a bitter feeling.
"This is another memory of mine!" He suddenly burst out saying. "But how?"
"Road has the ability to use memories of others." Lavi said and peered around, suddenly expecting a mob of some sort to come rushing toward them. He hadn't forgotten the other details of his experience in Road's dream. They haunted him, somehow, no matter how much he tried to reject them.
Disturbing the sudden reminiscing of both boys, a voice broke out above the yowling wind. "Lavi! Allen! There you two are!"
Lavi and Allen whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice. There was Lenalee. She raced toward them, her short air swaying and brushing her cheeks as she ran toward the boys. Behind her, stalking slowly toward them was Kanda. His facial expression was sour as ever. Allen would have bristled at just the thought of whatever comments the man might make, but suddenly the rest of their little party came into view. There was Krory and Miranda, and behind them was Link. Finally they had all reached each other.
"We were looking all over." Lenalee said as she approached the boys.
"Well leave it to them to get lost. Neither of them could find their way around even with directions."
"Bakand-"
"Enough, you two. This isn't the time for fighting!"
"She's right. You two stop your fighting." Link said, suddenly stepping up to form the edge of the semi-circle Allen's friends had made around him and Lavi.
"Oh, thank goodness, you both are alright." Miranda said.
"We'd worried about you disappearing." Krory chimed in with a glance to the younger boys.
"Oh, we're fine Kuro-chan." Lavi said, grinning as he usually did in such situations. As he began to ramble on, Allen slowly looked to Link and Lenalee. "So we're the only ones here?"
"Mhm." Nodding her head, Lenalee expelled a sigh that sounded almost exasperated. Or perhaps it was concern Allen heard. "It's just us. Oh, and Timcanpy of course."
On cue, the tiny golem suddenly burst into the group to flutter into Allen's view. His wings beat the air periodically, keeping him afloat in the harsh winds that blew around their small group.
"Oh, Timcanpy!" His anxiety forgotten for just a moment, Allen reached out to grab his longtime companion. The golem happily glided into Allen's reach, delicately landing into his palm. As the two reconciled as well, Link sprang into action, assessing the situation before them.
"We all know this is Road's dream."
"Affirmative." Lavi said, his tone half joking, half serious.
"What else do we know for certain?" Came Krory's questioning tone.
"That this is Allen's memories."
"Huh?"
Echoes of surprise and alarm rang out from their group from everyone, with the exception of Link (who stood stoically as ever) and Kanda, who snorted at the thought. "And what makes you say that, usagi?"
"Just look over there, Yuu-chan." Lavi proclaimed. He gestured toward the inn he and Allen had both been gawking at moments before, but quickly dropped his hand and side-stepped when Kanda lunged at him.
"Damn you! I told you to stop calling me that!"
As the others turned to stare at the building, Lavi taunted Kanda. Innocence was rendered useless here, and just knowing that brought Lavi satisfaction. For once Kanda couldn't threaten him with that Mugen of his. As the bickering commenced behind them, the others took in the scene that had been behind him. There was Allen, or at least the younger version of himself. He was still weeping as he looked to Mana with eyes that spoke of dismay and need. Allen recalled well the emotions of that day. Disappointment had tempted him to accept the comfort the older man had offered. But his cold attitude and sharp mouth wouldn't let him show such a weakness completely.
"I'd gone out on my own." Allen said, watching with his friends as Mana smiled kindly at the younger illusion of himself. "I wasn't ready to do his tricks. I thought I could find another way to make money for the time being." Laughing a humorless chuckle, Allen shook his head at the memory. "No one spared me a cent. Not even their pity."
"How awful." Miranda commented quietly, her cheeks flaming when the attention of their small group shifted to her for a brief moment.
"That's a sad memory and all, Allen." Lavi said as he suddenly joined their group again once more. "But-"
"But what the hell does that have to do with anything?" Kanda growled, jumping in suddenly with a disgruntled tone to his voice.
"Nothing, I suppose." Allen mused, gritting his teeth and biting down on the urge to curse and argue with that damned pony-tail wearing pretty boy.
"Then shut it." Kanda growled. "That freak in the frills likes you, and she's doing this for a reason." He snarled his words quick and snappish, sharp and whip-like. "And you better find out why."
"We will find out why." Krory said, for once taking Lenalee's place and interjecting.
"That's right." Lavi nodded as he adjusted his bandana once more, which had been knocked out of place (probably the work of Kanda).
"We'll figure this out together." Lenalee finished, smiling.
Allen looked at his group of friends slowly, one by one. Each smiled their assurance, and Kanda didn't say a word against any of it. That was the best he could hope for, Allen guessed. He slowly turned to Link, the only one who didn't say a word. His eyes were cold, but instead of objecting he nodded and simply said, "We figure this out and all return to the Order. But then, Walker, you must be reported."
Fear spiked through him. "But why? I've done nothing against the Order." He gasped out, exasperated.
"You were shown to know the code, Walker. That cannot be ignored." Surprising Allen, Link suddenly peered at the rest of their group, at the accumulation of friends that had supported the young lad. "But the surrounding situation will be accounted for."
Allen wasn't sure whether to be over joyed by Link's half-attempt at leniency or to sob at the very thought of returning to his home only to be ushered before the higher-ups of the Order to assumedly be convicted of something he hadn't done. Despite the horror gnawing at him, despite the fear that raked his young frame, he was able to find some happiness in that moment, no matter how faint it was. Link's hesitant look to his friends spoke volumes. They had to of shown their faith in him, and for that, he was grateful.
Allen had Mana once before. That man had become his family. The small family they had created together was irreplaceable. But that didn't mean that the family he saw slowly developing around him in the form of friends was any less important. Allen had found his place. He had to fight to keep it, one way or another. But even if he perished, either by the doings of the war or at the hand of the Order itself, he was still grateful to know this love once again in his lifetime.
A/N: Hello, everyone. This wasn't a very fast update but it is better than last time, thankfully. I hope you enjoyed this latest installment. Thank you for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows, to those who did, as well as to those who just happen to read or follow silently. Leave suggestions, if you like, and I will see if they fit! And don't be afraid to PM me if you'd rather leave one there, or for any other reason. See you guys next time.
~ Sabet
xXSauceyAwesomnessXx: Thank you for the review, and the compliment. It's very kind of you. Also, for the motivation! I greatly appreciate it. I hope I will continue to provide something enjoyable for you. :)
CloudCarnivore: I am so glad you do. (^-^) Thank you for the review.
OneDayPineapple: Oh, I hope your knee has healed up. At least school is almost over, or is over if your school follows the same sort of schedule as mine did. And yep, it was Road. She isn't as involved in this chapter but she will be more involved as this part continues! Heh, Allen's butt is always saved by Tim. (XD) Snipperita: Oh, I see. How sneaky of you! Hiding from sisters is a good idea sometimes though.
Cupid-in-disguise: Cliffhangers are the worst, buuut they are fun to do at times when you are the writer. You shall see what happens if you continue reading, muahaha. (Excuse my odd, stupid behavior XD) I love you too, reader, just for being so supportive and sweet! X)
BluezebraAFHS: It's alright, thank you for reviewing at all. I look forward to your feedback on this chapter, if you happen to review.
Baylee1100: It was Road, but you know that by now, heh. The Mana memories will keep coming, I promise!
Synck: Nope, creepy voices really are never good. But I guess when you are an exorcist it is sort of the package deal. XD
Cheater boy – A: Welcome! More to come, hopefully you continue reading.
Guester: Hmm, I suppose it is explained a bit in this chapter. But, as cliché as this sounds, it is only the beginning right now.
General yumi: And I really LOVE to see you do! Sorry for the slow update.
.X: I hope you weren't disappointed and that this chapter was, indeed, interesting. Thank you for the review.
Animeawesomenesslover: Well, Allen is awake. And of course there is no relaxing for him before anything happens. XD The poor thing. Sorry for the slow update. I hope you liked this chapter.
Booklover2516: He does. No wonder he has to cheat at cards. If he tried playing naturally he'd probably be stripped down to his underwear himself!
Will of the Abyss – AllenxRoad: Oh my! I love your enthusiastic review! Oh, and I just realized I've read one of your stories, or am reading one. Keep up the good work, you!
Shirubagure: Yes, I thought using Road's world be the smoothest way to work them in. I hope you liked this chapter!
KetakoshkaCastlionia: Yep, Road. XD Is Road a favorite of yours or a character you dislike? I am simply curious XD.
Zasou 54: Hello there, Zazou. I love seeing your reviews. :)
Alright then, I will type in English. By the way, your English is pretty good, keep it up.
I am glad it was good considering its length. This update wasn't too fast, sadly. I hope you like it though.
Oh, thank you! I'd love to see more of your writing.
Saturnspaz: Hmm, I think I can try to work it in here. If not, maybe I can work something else out for you(?)
Sinfulangels: Oh, what a compliment! I'm so glad you enjoy this story so much. Don't worry, I won't stop until the story is finished. :)
Pink9571: Of course. The poor thing never gets a break. Thank goodness you couldn't predict the ending (I don't want anything too predictable XD) and that you still enjoyed that small chapter. Thank you for your support!
SpecterWolf: Sorry for the slow update! Thank you for the support!
xXxAnGeLFLoNnExXx: Thank you so much for reviewing then, you ghost reader. XD And yes, I know, thank you for telling me though. I read Lost Fragment of Snow, but it was a while ago. Perhaps I will look it up again now.
MandM7: Thank you for the review! So glad you enjoy this story. :)
WhiteLion: Thank you, for the compliment and support. :)
Thank you, everyone, for reviewing and supporting this story. Another chapter will be on the way, though I am not sure when. Goodbye for now.
P.S: Those of you who review, do you enjoy the replies or read them? I would just like to know if I should continue this, at least at the bottom of the story. Please leave your opinion!