Chapter 21: The Princess and the Fat
(A/E: This chapter has a lot of songs that parodies Disney's songs. Enjoy it!)
There's a book with the word 'Fairytale' on it.
Once upon of time...oh, you know what? Screw this! You guys already know this is gonna be a parody of a fairytale or any Disney crap, let's get this over with!
It's a beautiful morning in the Walkers' luxury apartment, where Amy was sleeping until her alarm clock rang and she beautifully woke up. She got up out of bed and opened the window.
"Good morning world!" Amy greeted with a big smile "*singing* La-la-la-la-la"
*birds chirping the same sound*
"Time to get ready for school!" Amy said.
Music starts playing while Amy starts her morning routine: she takes off her PJs to take a shower, then she gets dressed, then she does down to have breakfast with Eddie and Helena and finally she leaves.
(A/E: The first parody song is based on 'When My Life Will Begin' from Tangled)
7 AM, the usual morning lineup:
Undress, take a shower and get dress for school
Go to have breakfast with my mother and brother
Take my bag, and by then it's like 7:15.
She and Eddie take the school bus and sat down along with Chris, Meg, Matt and Dylan.
And so I take the bus
And I sit with my bro
Our friends sit with us too
And we have a little chat
But I keep thinking
Just wonder what if my dad is with me?
They got in school and took the classes. They only watch the clock ticked away until it is lunchtime. In the cafeteria they served some kind of moving green meat as if it was alive. But that didn't stop them from chatting and talking. She brushes her very long blonde hair occasionally.
We get to school and take the boring classes
The hours go on and on until it's lunch time
We got the lunch, I wonder what's wrong with this meat
Then we chat, and we laugh
Nothing else!
And this is how my day
Starts since 7 AM
I have a lot of fun
With my dear bro and friends
I also brush my hair
Just as my dad likes it
And I can't stop thinking about him.
She started jumping and dancing around the gymnasium until she lies down.
And I'm keep wonderin' and wonderin'
And wonderin' and wonderin'
What if my dad is with me?
She took out a photo of her and her Dad together when she was a little girl.
He just wants to be with me
My mother and my brother too
He wants to be with us...
Will my brother ever...
Accept him...
In our lives...?
Chris found Amy, which made her blush.
"Amy?" Chris asked.
"CHRIS!" Amy exclaimed standing up "What's up?"
"I heard you singing and...um...so uh...you wanna uh...I don't know. Um..." Chris said.
"Wanna what?" Amy asked.
"I don't know " Chris answered somewhat nervous "Just uh... I don't know. We could uh...or we could do something else. Or we could, if you don't like...we could..."
"What? Yeah!" Amy said.
"Really?" Chris asked.
"Sure" Amy answered.
"Okay" Chris replied "Good. Sounds good"
"Cool" Amy commented.
"Okay, alright" Chris said "So...see you later?"
"See you later" Amy answered.
Chris watched Amy as she walked away and she turned and smiled at him. Chris returned the smile and he left too. They never realized they've been watched by Meg.
"Oh...my...god!" Meg said smiling of excitement.
Unfortunately, Connie and her bitching friends were watching too.
"Guys...I got the greatest idea of all time" Connie said with an evil smile.
One the night; Meg invited Eddie to her house...
*Eddie's and Meg's pleasure groans*
Ah...Meg...oh...yes, OH GOD!
Oh...Eddie...AAAAHH!
We found their clothes on the floor and themselves in Meg's bed after sex.
"Wow...I'll never get tired of it..." Eddie said.
"Me neither..." Meg said "Next time, let's do it in my parents' room"
"We've been dating for over 6 months, I bet school will award us as 'Couple of Year'" Eddie said.
"Don't get your hopes up too much, maybe we could be beaten by another couple" Meg replied until she realized what she said.
"What do you mean 'another couple'?" Eddie asked.
"*nervous* Ah...nothing" Meg answered.
"You're hiding something from me, aren't you?" Eddie asked suspicious.
"Would you like to smell my underwear?" Meg asked trying to forget it.
"Tell me now" Eddie demanded.
"Okay, I think our siblings are in LOVE!" Meg said quickly.
"What?"
"I saw Chris speaking with Amy and they were babbling" Meg answered "As if they have feelings for each other"
"Wait, MY younger sister is in love with YOUR younger brother?" Eddie asked.
"Please don't hate him, or me, especially ME!" Meg begged with her eyes shut.
"Hate you? This is AWESOME!" Eddie said excited.
"Wait...you are okay with that?" Meg asked confused.
"Okay?! Since we became a couple, I had high hopes that Chris could become Amy's boyfriend" Eddie answered "I knew he was in love with her, but I never thought she would be in love with him"
"Maybe it started when Chris saved her life in the parade" Meg said "She never took her eyes of him ever since"
"So that means they'll soon start dating" Eddie said.
"There's only one problem: they're too shy to express their feelings" Meg replied "I've just heard them babbling in a very annoying way, but for some reason, they understood each other"
"Then let's help them" Eddie said "You help your brother and I'll help my sister"
"You're a very generous guy..." Meg praised "...another round?
"Sure!" Eddie answered.
They started making out and they covered themselves with the blankets.
The next day, Chris was taking his book from out of his locker, until Neil and a bunch of nerds appeared.
"Hey, Chris!" Neil greeted "I heard you like a certain pretty girl"
"Uh...I don't know what you're talking about" Chris said.
"Then how do you explain Eddie's comment on Facebook?" Neil asked.
Flashback
On Facebook, Eddie commented: OMG! My lovely girlfriend's BROTHER is in LOVE with my cutie SISTER!
P.S. Don't watch Die Hard 5, trust me, it's just Bruce Willis being a dick.
Neil Goldman replied: Agreed.
Flashback's end
"Okay, yes, I like Amy...but I'm too stupid to tell her my feelings" Chris said.
"Come on, I did the same to Meg a MILLION times" Neil said.
"But she rejected you" Chris said.
"That's not the point, the point is Amy is perfect for you" Neil replied.
"I don't understand" Chris said.
"Maybe a song will help you" Neil said "Play it, Randy!"
Randy Newman suddenly appeared playing a piano.
(A/E: 'You've Got a Friend on Me' from Toy Story)
Randy:
You've got a girl for you
You've got a girl for you
Neil magically change the scenario (the musicals' power) into one where they're driving a red convertible on a road where in a hotel from nowhere; there's Amy (wearing a sexy white nightie) waiting in the bed.
Randy:
When the road looks rough ahead
you must drive miles and miles
to your nice warm bed
where you're girlfriend is waiting for you
Boy, you've got a girl for you
Yeah, you've got a girl for you
Then Neil showed a comparison between Amy, Jillian (pointing at her head), Connie (pointing at her boobs) and Meg (pointing at her butt)
Randy:
Some other girls might be
A little bit stupider than she is
with bigger boobs and butt
M. Bison (from the Street Fighter movie):
Of course!
One of the nerds dressed as Amy gave Chris a hug while the others spread flowers everywhere.
Randy:
But none of them will ever love you
the way she does
It's you and her
Randy continued playing the piano.
Randy:
And as the years go by
your relationship will never die
Nerds:
You're gonna see
It's your destiny
Randy:
You've got a girl for you
You've got a girl for you
You've got a girl for you
"So never give up on her, pal" Neil said.
"You're right, I'm gonna win her over!" Chris said with determination and leaving.
"Ah...Neil, how will helping Chris help us getting laid?" a nerd asked.
"I'll explain it all in due time, my friend" Neil answered with an evil smile "ALL in due time..."
"Uh...where's my money?" Randy asked as Neil reluctantly paid him.
Meanwhile in girls' bathroom; Amy was putting on lipstick until Connie and her bitching friends appeared behind.
"Hello, Amy" Connie greeted.
"Oh, hi Connie!" Amy returned the greeting; apparently she doesn't know she's a bitch.
"Listen, we don't mean to be nosy, but we heard you like a certain fat boy" Connie said.
"Well...I have a little cousin who's the cutest boy I've ever met" Amy said.
"No, no, no, we mean Meg's brother" Connie said.
"Oh, him? Nah, he's just..."
"A friend?" Connie asked interrupting her "Every girl says that, that's not good. If you like him so much, you must make him ask you out on a date"
"How?" Amy asked.
"Well..." Connie said as another song starts playing.
(A/E: 'I Want it All' from High School Musical 3)
Connie:
Imagine having everything you've ever dreamed. Don't you want it?
Amy:
Maybe
Connie:
Can't you see it?
Amy:
Kind of
Connie:
Imagine first audition after college you get the lead!
Amy:
Are you sure?
Connie:
Well of course!
Amy:
Yeah right
Connie:
You gotta believe it!
Amy:
Keep talking
Connie:
You and him, all the fame
Amy:
Amy and what's-his-name (just kidding)
Connie:
Sound exciting?
Amy:
Inviting
Connie:
Let's do it then!
Amy:
Listening!
Connie:
Personal stylist, agent and a publicist
Amy:
But where does Chris fit into this?
Connie:
With him you can win!
Amy:
Win the part
Connie:
Think bigger!
Amy:
Become superstars
Connie:
That's better
Connie:
Don't you see that
Bigger is better
And better is bigger
A little bit is never enough
Girls:
No no no no!
Connie:
Don't you want it all?
So many girls came out from the toilet booths and started singing and dancing.
Girls:
You want it, you know that you want it
The fame and the fortune and more!
You want it all!
You want it, you know that you want it
You gotta be the star of the cast
Connie:
You want the world, nothing less
All the glam and the press
Only givin' you the best
To use (sing it!)
Amy and girls:
I want it all!
I want it, I want it, (yeah) want it
My name in lights at Carnegie Hall
I want it all!
Connie:
Can't you see it?
Amy:
Yeah!
Connie:
They're gonna love me.
Amy:
What?
Connie:
I mean, you and Chris.
Then they imagined themselves on the red carpet at the Oscars' ceremony. Crowd applauding, paparazzi taking photos and crazy fans.
Connie:
Red carpet, rose bouquets, crowd waiting backstage
Amy:
I'm with her, don't stop me, I'm not the paparazzi
Connie:
Invitations, standing ovations
Amy:
Magazines (yes please)
Connie:
Gotta be celebrities!
Even there's a desperate-fan Eddie wearing a white shirt with Connie's face on it trying to get Connie's attention, but a security guard took him out of there.
Connie:
Photographs, fan club, give the people what they love
Now you're excited?
Amy:
I like it
Connie:
Let's do it then!
Amy:
Yeah!
Connie:
Times Square, jet setter, sequels, hey better
New York today, tomorrow the world!
Amy:
Sold out shows!
Connie:
Think bigger!
Daniel Day-Lewis:
And the Oscar goes to...
Amy:
That's better!
Connie:
Don't you see that
Bigger is better
And better is bigger
A little bit is never enough
Connie and girls:
No no no!
Connie
You want it all!
You want it, damn right that you want it
The fame and the fortune and more!
You want it all!
You want it, you know that you want it
You gotta be the star of the cast
Connie:
You want the world, nothing less
All the glam and the press
Only giving you the best reviews
Connie and girls:
You want it all!
You want it, want it, want it
Radio, CD Music Hall
You want it all!
Amy and Chris are dancing on the Broadway stage.
Amy:
Here in the spotlight we shine
Look at who we are
Connie:
When Broadway knows your names
You know that you're both stars!
Connie:
Dance!
All the girls silently prepared the stage for the finale while they're whisper 'you-you, you want it. You-you, you want it all', until they finished.
Girls:
You WANT IT ALL!
You want it, damn right that want it
The fame and the fortune and more!
You want it all!
You want it, want it, want it
You gotta be the star of the cast
Connie:
You want the world, nothing less
All the glam and the press
Only givin' me the best reviews
Girls:
I want it all!
Connie:
Paris!
Amy:
London!
Connie:
Rome!
Amy:
Toronto!
Connie:
LA!
Amy:
Sydney!
Connie:
Buenos Aires!
Amy:
Tokyo!
Connie:
Moscow!
Amy:
Bollywood!
Connie:
Hollywood!
Everybody:
NEW YORK CITY!
Everybody:
You...Want...It (you want it)...All!
"Wow, how did you guys archive such an impressive choreography?" Amy asked.
"It's the power of popularity" Connie said.
Then Amy's cellphone rang (it's the song 'Fireworks' by Katy Perry)
"Hello? Hi, Chris!" Amy greeted "A date? I'd love to! See you there!"
*phone off*
"You wanna be like us? Win the fat boy's heart"
"ALL RIGHT!" Amy cheered leaving the girls' bathroom.
"What a stupid brat, she has no idea of what she got into" Connie said.
Her friends evilly laugh along with their leader.
Later in the Griffin's house; Meg was helping Chris get ready for his date. He was wearing a nice formal suit and a 'good boy' hairstyle.
"I look stupid" Chris commented.
"No, you don't, you look dapper" Meg replied.
"Meg, I look like something Mom gave me when she told us our grandma died (Ted reference)" Chris said.
"Both our grandmas are still alive" Meg said "Anyway, Amy is a nice girl, so she must be with a nice guy"
"That's bullcrap..." Axel said appearing from nowhere.
"Axel! How the hell did you get into my room, let alone our house?!" Meg asked.
"Your wimpy boyfriend gave me a copy of your key" Axel answered "Anyway, dressing up like Richie Rich won't win her heart"
"Really?" Chris asked.
"Look: I think she's perfect for you: she's immature, she has an annoying voice and she has extremely low standards"
"And she kicked your ass" Meg added.
"Shut up, Meg" Axel said "I'm gonna make you a real man!"
Meanwhile, in the Walker's apartment, Eddie was also helping Amy get ready for her date. She's wearing a pink sweet Lolita dress, including a pink bow, a petticoat, bloomers, knee stockings and pink dress shoes.
"What do you think, bro?" Amy asked.
"For much as I love cute things, don't you think it's a little too Anime-ish?'" Eddie asked.
"Well, boys like Anime girls, isn't it?" Amy asked.
"If you mean nerds, you got that right" Jaina answered appearing from nowhere.
"Jaina?! How did you find my apartment?" Eddie asked.
"Your mother told me where she lives, we hanged out once" Jaina answered "Anyway, you won't impress Chris dressed like Helena Bonham Carter. Let me do the magic"
Meanwhile Neil and Connie started a rally group, note that both their conversation takes place at the same time. They're both wearing WW2-style military clothing.
"Okay, our little 'puppet' is now deployed" Connie said "Operation: Nerdicide is a go"
"Okay, our pal is now engaging the opposite sex in a tradition known as a date" Neil explained "Operation: Bitchacaust is now a go"
"For years, those cretins known as the unpopular, dweebs, and mainly nerds have been scurrying around, dirtying our pure society of the greatest with their existence" Connie explained showing photos of unattractive girls, people with glasses and braces and Trekkies "How did this happen? Because of THESE kind of people"
She showed photos of Gene Roddenberry, George Lucas and Stan Lee, much to everyone's horror.
"For eons, those bastards had oppressed, bullied, and mainly made us feel like crap all because we don't have their breasts, their abs, and sadly, less than adequate social lives" Neil explained showing pictures of Pamela Anderson, Taylor Lautner and Johnny Depp "But they're actually worse than HITLER!" He showed a picture of Neil with Mickey Mouse in Disneyland "Oops, sorry" he showed the photo of Adolf Hitler "Worse than HITLER!"
"But now, once Amy gets all the dirt on Chris and give us the power necessary to wipe away any impure from this world, and we will give the world the people it deserves!" Connie explained.
"Once Chris acquires the intel of our adversaries, we shall have the means to strike those populars down and put the world back in more competent hands..." Neil explained
"And we will finally get laid?" a random nerd asked.
"Exactly" Neil replied.
And Connie and Neil at the same time: AND WE POPULARS/NERDS WILL FINALLY RULE OVER ALL!
"OH HAIL POPULARS/NERDS!" cool guys and nerds exclaimed.
Meanwhile; Meg and Chris drove to the Walkers' apartment. Hidden in a tree next to the apartment, Axel was watching through binoculars, giving a smile.
"Go make me proud, you fat son of a bitch" Axel said.
"Go get her, champ" Meg said.
Chris came out...and he looked very different: his hairstyle was buzz cut, he's wearing a white shirt, black leather jacket, denim jeans and brown goes to the entrance, but the door was opened. It was Amy, who looked different too: her hairstyle was curly, she's wearing a pink tank top, diamond earrings, blue denim miniskirt and red heels. They both stared at each other for their stunning appearances.
"Wow, you look hot" Amy and Chris said at the same time.
"Should we go?" Chris asked.
"Where are we going?" Amy asked.
"I don't know...let's go downtown!" Chris answered.
"All right!" Amy agreed.
But they didn't realize that Amy's earrings were actually spy cameras, so the popular guys can spy on them from their secret base.
"Once we know the geeks' weaknesses, nothing can stop us" Connie said.
But they weren't alone. Neil and his nerdy friends were hiding
everywhere to spy on them. They even wore camouflage make-up.
"Okay...phase one of Bitchicaust is a go..." Neil said.
The date started to go downtown where they went to so many shops: first in an antique shop.
"Cool" Chris said looking at an old coin, then he turned to an old wheel "Cool!" then he 'possibly' found the Holy Grail "Junk..." he threw it away.
"Look, Chris!" Amy called wearing an Egyptian collar "This collar makes me look like Cleopatra?"
"Well...ah..." Chris said, who's wearing an ear communicator.
Tell him she looks like an Egyptian God...no, wait!
Neil suggested before realizing what he was saying.
"You look like an Egyptian God...no, wait!" Chris repeated what Neil said.
"Do you mean it? Like an Egyptian Goddess?" Amy asked "That is so sweet from you!"
"Okay, now we know Chris is dumb" Connie said.
"Wow, what a surprise..." Gina replied sarcastically.
The next shop was gardening shop.
"These plants are pretty!" Amy commented smelling lilacs "And they smell sweet"
"Yeah, I like smelling flowers" Chris said smelling at a carnivorous plant "Eek, it stinks!"
"You stink, fat boy!" the carnivorous plant (it has a black guy voice) insulted.
"AH, IT TALKED!" Chris screamed smashing it and killing it.
"Mister, you have to pay for this dead plant" the clerk said.
"Well, we also know he's easily frightened by everything" Connie said.
"This is getting boring..." Scott complained.
And the last shop was a...NINJA SHOP! Amy was holding nunchucks and used them as propellers.
"*laughing* These things are cool!" Amy said.
"No, THIS thing is cool! Chris said holding a katana and making Ninja noises that he even cutdown a practice dummy "Oops, sorry!"
"Calm down, we got plenty!" Mikey from TMNT said "Donatello!"
"Why I'm the one who's putting up the dummies?" Donatello asked.
"And we know he's...decent with a Ninja weapon" Connie said.
"You know, Connie, we're starting to think that you have no idea what you're doing" Gina said.
"Go to the corner!" Connie ordered.
"Yes, miss..." Gina replied reluctantly going to the corner.
After a tour downtown; Chris asked Meg to drive them to Quahog lake, where they both took a row boat, even if it was already night.
"They really look cute..." Meg said until she noticed something from a pine tree and heard a sneeze "Okay, whoever you are, get down there!" but she didn't get an answer "Let's see if Amy's karate lessons work" she kicked the tree so hard that Neil fell down.
"OW!"
"NEIL!" Meg exclaimed "Were you spying on them?!"
"'Spy' is an ugly word, I prefer the term 'searching for the enemy's Kryptonite'" Neil said.
"You think Amy is the enemy?" Meg asked.
"I know she's a popular girl trying to humiliate him" Neil answered.
"Just because she looks pretty that doesn't mean she's a bitch like Connie D'Amico!" Meg said having a point "I know Amy almost a year and she's the kindest girl I've ever met"
"Well...maybe...she's...I know she's...uh...Hitler?" Neil asked.
"You know what? I won't let you ruin the date of my brother and my boyfriend's sister" Meg said.
"Dear God, you're right, Meg" Neil said with a guilty tone "Me and my friends were so angry at the mean popular guys that we became just as bad as them"
"Then leave them alone, before I kick you in your balls" Meg ordered.
"Got it! I'm gonna sing a ballad for them!" Neil going near the lake and started singing...very badly.
"Wow, somebody should find that poor animal and put it out of its misery" Chris said rowing.
Neil continues singing very badly until Meg kicked him in the balls.
"I warned you!" Meg said "And you call that a ballad? Let me show you"
Then the other nerds appeared.
"Can we help?" nerd #1 asked
"We brought instruments!" nerd #2 said revealing several instruments.
"That's exactly what I need" Meg said grabbing a branch "First, we need to create the mood"
(A/E: 'Kiss the Girl' from the Little Mermaid, the only song with unchanged lyrics)
Meg:
Percussion
Strings
Winds
Words
The nerds starts playing their instruments.
Meg:
There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She doesn't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl
"Do you hear something?" Amy asked.
"Yeah, sounds like somebody encouraging us to kiss" Chris answered.
"*blushing* that's ridiculous" Amy said.
Meg:
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It's possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
She doesn't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl
"Sing with me now" Meg said "Not you, Neil"
Then the nerds started singing along, except Neil.
Meg and the nerds:
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't that sad
Ain't it shame, too bad
You're gonna miss the girl
"You know Amy...there's something I wanted to tell you since I met you" Chris said.
"Me too...except that it was since you saved my life" Amy said.
"Really? Well, you can tell me" Chris said.
"No, you first" Amy said.
"No, you first" Chris said.
"No, you first" Amy said.
"No, you first" Chris said.
"You know what? Let's say it at the same time" Amy said.
Okay" Chris agreed.
"I LOVE YOU!" Chris/Amy confessed, covering their mouths...but they didn't have to hide their feelings anymore.
Meg:
Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
She doesn't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl
Meg and nerds:
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You wanna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Float along
Listen to the song
"LA, LA, LA-LA-LA!" Neil sang badly again, prompting Meg to kick his ass.
Meg and nerds:
The song say kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You wanna kiss the girl
Amy and Chris were about to finally kiss and everybody was excited to see that. Especially Meg.
Meg:
You've got to kiss the girl
Why don't you kiss the girl
You gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl
But then they both fell into the lake. But they were fine, because they both can swim. They laughed at their situation, much to Meg's dismay since she really wanted to see them kiss. But then Amy's camera earrings started to malfunction, preventing the popular girls from being able to see.
"What the hell?!" Connie asked.
When Chris and Amy were out of the lake. They realized Meg and the nerds were watching the whole time.
"So yeah, we know you like each other" Meg said "I'm sorry..."
"Are you kidding? I finally tell Amy what I fell about her!" Chris said.
"WE did it" Amy corrected "So, Chris. I'm ready for 'the question'"
"Do you have any kids?" Chris asked.
"CHRIS!" Meg scolded.
"I was joking!" Chris said laughing until he saw his sister's glare "Sorry. Amy, would you like to be my girl-?"
"Wait a minute..." Neil said, noticing one of Amy's diamond earrings and he took one off of her ear "This earring was bugged!"
*everybody gasps*
"It's not what you think!" Amy said afraid "Connie gave them to me to look prettier!"
"Connie? CONNIE D'AMICO?!" Meg asked really furious.
"What's wrong with her?" Amy asked.
"She's the evilest girl in the world, possible in the Universe" Neil answered "And YOU are her puppet!"
"Amy, how could you join her?" Chris asked with a sad tone.
"I didn't know she was mean" Amy answered "I just..."
"Save it, bitch!" a nerd said shooting a sedative at her, making falling asleep.
"AMY!" Chris exclaimed going to help her, but Meg didn't let him.
"What you wanna do with her?" another nerd asked.
"Let's take her to the base and make her tell everything she knows about our enemy" Neil said.
The nerds took her away and Chris couldn't do anything to stop them..
Back with the popular girls, they're trying to communicate with her.
"Amy! Can you hear me?!" Connie asked "DAMN IT!"
"Looks like they got her" Gina said.
"And the worst thing is we don't know where to find them!" Connie added.
"I know where they live!" Scott said "In the library of Quahog. They use it when it's close"
"Hey...that's good" Connie said "We're going to show them they can't mess with us. At daybreak, we attack!"
"YES, MA'AM!" the popular guys agreed.
When they started to prepare for battle (guys putting on their foot-ball uniforms and girls putting on their cheerleaders' outfits), they started singing.
(A/E: Savages from Pocahontas)
Connie:
What can you expect
From ugly little nerds?
Their whole disgusting face just makes me sick
Their skin full of spots
They're only good when dead
They're cancer, as I said
And worse
Populars:
They're ugly guys! Ugly guys!
Connie:
Barely even students
Populars:
Ugly guys! Ugly guys!
Connie:
Get them out of here!
They're not like you and me
Which means they must be evil
We must finish them right now!
Connie and populars:
They're ugly guys! Ugly guys!
Dirty nerdy devils!
We must finish them right now!
Meanwhile at the library; the nerds had Amy as prisoner in a cage. They're singing too, even Neil's singing voice improved a lot
Neil:
This is what we feared
The populars are demons
The only thing they feel at all is greed
Nerd #1:
Beneath their good appearance
There's emptiness inside
Nerd #2
I wonder if they even bleed
Nerds:
They're bully guys! Bully guys!
Barely even students
Bully guys! Bully guys!
Neil:
Killers at the core
They're different from us
Which means they can't be trusted
We must finish them right now!
Neil and nerds:
They're bully guys! Bully guys!
First we deal with this one
Then we sound the drums of war
Populars:
Ugly guys! Ugly guys!
Scott:
Let's go kill a few, dude!
Nerds:
Bully guys! Bully guys!
Connie:
Now it's up to you, guys!
Everybody:
Ugly guys! Bully guys!
Barely even students!
Now we sound the drums of war!
Meanwhile; Meg was taking Chris home.
"We need to save her!" Chris said "Before they do something bad to her!"
"No way, as Neil said: she is the enemy now" Meg said.
"Come on, you were the one who wanted me to be with her!" Chris protested.
"That was before she reveals her plan" Meg replied.
"Can you listen to me?!" Chris asked making Meg stopping the car.
"Okay, what is WRONG with you, Chris?" Meg asked "You don't realize she was working with Connie D'Amico the whole time?"
"I know and I don't care!" Chris said "You just can't stand anybody who worked with the bitch who makes your life miserable!"
"Well, that's correct, but..."
"But that doesn't mean Amy is a bitch like her, she's the ONLY friend you got, aside of Katie, Jaina and your geeky group of friends that we don't see anymore!" Chris said "So help me rescue her or I'm gonna tell Eddie YOU left his little sister to be feasted by nerdy cannibals!"
"Oh my god...you were right about the part that she's my friend..." Meg said with a guilty tone "And it's not her fault for falling for Connie's schemes..."
"Wow, Axel's 'Standing Up For Yourself' lessons really worked" Chris said.
"We're going to save Amy at all cost!" Meg said turning on the car and driving off.
Meanwhile, in the library, Neil (he's dressed like Kahn from Star Trek II) and the nerds (dressed as Klingons) were still interrogating Amy.
"Just tell me what you know about the populars" Neil ordered.
"How many times I'm gonna tell you? I don't KNOW!" Amy said "I just wanted to be with Chris, I'm in love with her!"
"You're lying!" Neil said "Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?"
"Is that a quote from Star Trek II?" Amy asked "The best Star Trek movie?"
"Really?" Neil asked surprised "All my friends say that the 2009 reboot/prequel is the best"
"Yeah, but I heard Spock's death scene made all Trekkies' cry" Amy said.
"I know, it was sadder than Jean Grey's death in X-Men 2" Neil said.
"Did you watch X-Men: First Class?" Amy asked.
"I love them!" Neil answered "Except X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I heard there will be a sequel with Hugh Jackman reprising his role"
"Wow, you nerds are not bad people at all" Amy said.
"Neil!" a guard nerd called "Somebody is coming!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot you're one of them" Neil said leaving.
The nerds got outside and found an army of popular guys.
"Goldman!" Connie exclaimed "We know you and your losers are hiding!"
"Well, well, looks like the Queen of bitches has just arrived" Neil said "We've been waiting for this battle...we're finally gonna take you down"
"*laughing* Don't make me laugh, Goldman" Connie said arrogantly "You guys could never deal with us, what makes you think this time will be any different?"
"GUYS!" Neil called as the nerds appeared with a giant machine with several paintball guns "FIRE!"
They started shooting paintballs at the popular guys. Meg and Chris finally arrived and they took the chance to get into the library to rescue Amy. Amy was still in the cage...until they were found by the Griffin siblings.
"GUYS!" Amy exclaimed.
"Don't worry, friend" Meg said "We'll set you free"
"Oh, guys, I'm awfully sorry for all this" Amy said very guilty "I'm a stupid, stupid girl"
"Don't say that, you're a sweet, sweet girl" Chris said "And I'll never leave again"
"Okay, I'm gonna use the 'Dragon Kick' to break the lock" Meg said.
"Wait, it's too dangerous!" Amy warned.
But Meg shut her eyes, took a breath and with flames in her eyes she made a spin jump and kicked the lock, breaking it and setting Amy free.
"Did you say something?" Meg asked as Amy hugged Chris, then planting several kisses on him, leaving him with so many lipstick marks.
"Wow, that was...awesome..." Chris said.
"Well, get used to it, I do the same with Eddie all the time" Meg replied.
In the aftermath of the battle, so many popular guys were groaning in pain, completely covered in paint, even Connie. The nerds cheered in victory.
"We did it!" Neil cheered "Victory is ours!"
But then the school's groundskeeper appeared, crossing his arms. Neil slowly turned around and Connie slowly stood up, shocked by his appearance.
"You weasels are in big trouble..." the groundskeeper said.
"You're not telling the principal, are you?" Connie asked.
Unfortunately for them, he did, as they got detention the following day.
"I can't believe he told the principal..." Connie said really grumpy.
"Look at the bright side: this whole war between us serves as inspiration for my comic book" Neil said.
"Wait, you did ALL THIS just to get an idea for your stupid comic book?" Connie asked really angry.
"Silence, both of you!" Principal Shepard ordered "You can't talk in detention"
Meanwhile, Amy was telling her father (dressed as the coach) about how she and Chris became a couple.
"That was a wonderful story, sweetheart" the Coach (Frank) said.
"Don't worry, sir" Chris said "I promise I'll take care of her"
"I hope so, because if you make her cry..." the Coach (Frank) said, as he flexed his muscles...so much in fact that his muscles flexed their own muscles.
"DADDY!" Amy scolded.
"I'm kidding, I have faith in this one" the Coach (Frank) said, giving Chris a friendly pat on the back.
Suddenly, Helena appeared.
"Hello, I was wondering what was keeping my daugther..." Helena said.
"Ah...hello...Mrs. Walker" the Coach (Frank) greeted, a little nervous.
"You must be my children's coach" Helena said "I'm Helena, nice to meet you"
They exchanged handshakes...until the Coach's mustache fell off...revealing his secret identity.
"Oh crap!" Frank cursed.
Helena looked at him...and she froze.
"...Frank?" Helena asked.
"Helena..." Frank said.
"Is it bad?" Chris asked.
"REALLY bad" Amy answered.
Narrator: In an unexpected twist that came out of nowhere, Helena found out the coach was her ex-husband all this time. How is she gonna react? Will Chris and Amy remain as a couple? Why am I asking these questions?
It revealed that the narrator was a live action Patrick Stewart.
"Well, I don't know, find out in the next chapter" Patrick Stewart said "I hate being a narrator..."
End of the Chapter