All things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer (5 Days 2 hours till Breaking Dawn)

Chapter 20 - End of the Beginning

We were going to take Carlisle's Mercedes, the tint was dark so no one would see me, I just needed to do one more thing before we left. I needed to help Renee forget all of this.

Edward was more supportive than I could have hoped, he was tentative to my needs and even made sure Renee had an overnight bag, courtesy of Alice, to have when she got to Charlie's. Everything was in place, now we were waiting for me to finish what had to be done.

I needed to think about everything I had to remove from her memory, there had been so much that had happened while she had been with us, and I hated to think what she had been exposed to while traveling with James, Victoria and Laurent.

I had to start with that, wipe her mind completely from the moment she met up with James, to now. I hated that she would lose the playfulness and close friendship we had shared in the last couple of days, but it gave me strength knowing I would remember it.

After that, I would have to plant false memories of the last week and a half, Phil would ask questions, so I had to make sure that she would have something to tell him.

I put her in the car carefully and smiled at her, I was going to make an excuse and act as though I had forgotten something in the house, but Renee wasn't letting me go that easily, the impending face to face with Charlie had her nervous. She'd always been this way and I had picked up so many of the pieces during my life with her. This wasn't unusual, nervous, meant clingy.

"Bella, where are you going?" she asked opening the door after I pushed it closed.

"I left my sweater in the house mom, I'll be right back, I promise."

Her wide eyes showed me her apprehension, I was sure my morose mood was what gave me away. I tried to be cheerful, but it was hopeless.

"Bella, something's wrong, what is it?" she asked getting out of the car and placing her hands on my shoulders. She looked into my eyes deeply, the first time she had done that it had made me nervous, but she hadn't really comment on it except for the brief second in my room. She was looking for the lie in my eyes, she knew me better than anyone else ever had, and could tell a lie from a mile away.

"Mom," I struggled for something to tell her, "Really, there's nothing wrong, I'm just going to miss the Cullen's when we leave. I've enjoyed their friendship."

"Oh, sweetheart." Renee seemed to have bought the lie I was feeding her and she pulled me to her, embracing me tightly.

I forced a smile and stepped out of her embrace. "Okay, mom, please wait for me in the car, I'm going to grab a sweater and be right back."

Renee brushed loose strands of my hair behind my ear and looked at me sympathetically. I turned away from her choking back everything that was building up inside of me and walked away. It wasn't much of a goodbye, but I would have my chance in the car, for now, I had a job to do.

I ran at a human speed to the front door and pushed it closed gently behind me, I let myself break down, crumpling to the ground and letting the waves of grief drown me. I grabbed the back of my head with both of my hands hoping it would wipe the agony away, I gathered fistfuls of hair wishing that the pain would distract me, but the ripping pain still throbbed through my chest.

"Bella," Edward was on the ground his arms wrapped around pulling me close to him, I broke and let myself go for a moment, I knew he would never judge me over this, he seemed to love me warts and all.

I, however, seemed to be taking this harder than I had when I said goodbye to Charlie, but I realized that this was for both of them, this reaction was the finality of it all. Saying goodbye to Renee cut all of my ties to my human life and I would be only a memory for them.

I was comforted only by the fact that they could be happy, they could move on with their lives knowing that wherever I was, I was at peace.

Edward rocked me gently bringing me back to a calm and coherent state, I took deep breaths trying to dull the ache that threatened to split me into two.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered quietly.

"Bella, don't apologize, please. This is a natural reaction." he said kissing my forehead gently.

"I didn't expect it to hurt quite so much." I sighed.

"The pain will ease, Rosalie had brothers in her human life, she had a hard time saying goodbye to them, she hasn't seen them since, but when she thinks of them, she has the happy memories to take hold of."

I nodded thinking about each of the Cullen's, Alice seemed to be the only one who hadn't had to deal with the pain of loss, even Edward, who would have surely died if it hadn't have been for Carlisle, suffered, he just suffered the loss of his parents, he awoke to find they had died of the Spanish influenza.

I knew I was being selfish, I had been given something not one of the others had been given. I was able to say goodbye, face to face, revealing my true emotions and feelings for my parents, they would know for the rest of their lives that I had loved them and I would never stop thinking about them.

I sucked in another large breath and collected myself, I knew what I had to do now. It was time to stop being selfish, it was time to help Renee move on.

"Bella?" Edward asked, about to move away from me. I touched his arm with my hand and looked up into his golden eyes.

"Stay with me, please." I begged, I didn't think I could do this alone.

Edward nodded and wrapped his arms around me again.

I thought about Renee with everything I could, I could even picture her face in my head. Then I begged her to forget everything that had happened from the time she had met James until now, I rocked gently in Edward's arms as I repeated the request in my mind, over and over.

I broke down a little bit before I was able to look to Edward again, his eyes were sympathetic and wide.

"Did it work?" I asked sighing.

Edward nodded gently smoothing my hair. "She's a little bit confused, you may want to fill in the holes."

I nodded, we had come up with an intricate story to fill in the time Renee was gone.

She had left Jacksonville without her cell phone, which was highly plausible for Renee, to visit her kindergartners, she couldn't remember Phil's cell phone number without her phone, so she hadn't been able to call him. She was in Phoenix for a while, but she found herself at the house I used to share with her and she became upset, she had then decided to visit Charlie to apologize because she couldn't let the guilt eat at her. She'd put the ticket on her credit card — Jasper's a genius on the computer — and that's how she got here.

This process was a little more drawn out than that of wiping her mind, I had to pay attention to detail, I could leave nothing out. Phil would be suspicious enough as it was. I filled in small blanks as best I could with little pieces I could remember from living in Phoenix, like malls and restaurants, the small clubs she'd been a part of. I had to fill in a week and a half in Phoenix. The last thing I did was remind her to call Phil from Charlie's. Charlie had all of Renee's numbers from when I lived there. They would be in the address book by the phone in the kitchen where I'd written them when I moved to Forks.

The last thing was to persuade her to fall asleep. I needed the chance to get in the car with her and away from the Cullen house, so she wouldn't forget the flight I had just implanted into her mind.

Edward's embrace tightened around me as I shuddered, I was holding back the sobs again. I felt so weak, even with this new hardened exterior. I just needed to say goodbye now, and it was ripping me apart.

"Are you ready?" Edward whispered to me.

I nodded, unable to say a word out loud in fear of the agony drowning me again. He released his arms, that were wrapped tightly around me, and jumped up in one fluid motion. He held out his hand to me and I took it as he gracefully pulled me from the ground. He held me again before opening the door.

I took an deep, unneeded breath and stepped out into the damp evening air. I could see Renee's sleeping form in the back of the Mercedes and found the strength I had so desperately been searching for. This was it, the last time I would have any contact with my family, but I wouldn't let it drown me anymore, I couldn't, I needed the chance to say goodbye without the emotions taking control.

"So how are we going to explain the Mercedes when she wakes up?" I asked looking to Edward, and then back to the car. It wasn't exactly going to blend in with the scenery and I was sure that Charlie would recognize it.

"We were hoping you would help with that." Edward mumbled sheepishly.

I frowned at him, but it disappeared as soon as I realized what he meant. It would take some effort to make the street remember the Mercedes as a regular cab that would shuttle people from Seattle airport. And I would need to keep the specifics perfect. I nodded in agreement and moved toward the sleek black vehicle.

Edward maneuvered the car quickly to the highway and then slowed to an acceptable speed, I snickered at his sigh, he hated to drive slowly, especially a vehicle with as much power as this. I hated to think how he would have felt having to drive the truck I had formerly owned. He nodded at me in the rearview and I gently woke my mother. Her eyes flickered as my cool hands interrupted her peaceful slumber.

"Bella?" her voice cracked as she looked at my face and her eyes pooled with the tears that showed her emotions.

"Mom, hi." I whispered quietly.

"Are you really here?" she asked, her voice pleading.

I shook my head slowly. Renee nodded and bit back her tears

"Are you in pain, sweetheart?" Renee asked reaching to place her hand on my cheek.

"No, I'm well looked after, I can be happier when I know you'll be alright. You've suffered so much."

Renee bit on her lip and dropped her head in sorrow, I knew she was fighting the tears that were threatening to spill over her welling eyes.

"I miss you so very much, Bella." she sighed.

"I miss you too mom, but you can't let it take over you like this. Remember the happy memories of me, don't remember my death. ' I said looking into the rearview and catching Edward's eye, I was using his words, the word's he'd used to comfort me.

"It's so much more difficult than that, I want to remember you as the vibrant young child you always were, my middle aged child, full of wisdom, but all I can think is that I let you down, you came here because of my selfishness, because you wanted me to be happy with Phil, you tried so hard to hide your disappointment but I could see it in your eyes, that day at the airport, oh Bella, this is all my fault and I blamed your father for it all."

Renee's insightful confession surprised me, I had always thought I hid my pain and reluctance to move to Forks from her, but it seemed my lying skills still hadn't improved. She was crying now, the tears rolling gently down her cheeks as her wide eyes pleaded for my forgiveness, my forgiveness, it seemed so ridiculous that everyone blamed someone other than me. I had made the decision to go for a walk that afternoon, it had been my choice and my mistake. No one else's.

"Mom, don't you dare blame yourself for this, this was all my fault, I wandered into the forest, I should have run when I heard the animals coming towards me, but I didn't, by the time I came to my senses, it was too late. There was nothing anyone could have done for me. I would have come here a thousand times over again, I got to know my father a little better. I wouldn't trade that in for anything. I also found happiness here. So there is no reason to blame yourself."

"Poor Charlie, I was so hard on him, that's why I'm here, to apologize."

"He'll appreciate it, and don't be afraid, I don't think he's upset anymore. I said goodbye to him too."

"How do I apologize for that? I placed all the blame on him, I told him he was a bad father and that I had entrusted your safety to him and he let us both down. How do I apologize for that?"

I cringed at her words, she'd been unnecessarily cruel to Charlie, and hearing her words, they stung a little to hear, I had caused them both such pain with my stupidity.

"People say things in their grief, he knows that as well as anyone else. You have to trust him, he wants you to be happy."

"I miss you so much, my beautiful little girl." Renee wept.

I looked to Edward for strength, he smiled at me, gently urging me to go on.

"Mom, I can't stay long and you're almost at Charlie's house, but I want you to know I'm safe here and I am happy now, at peace, but I will never stop loving you, you will be in my heart for eternity, and someday, maybe we'll be together again, but I need you to live your life. Please, live and be happy and know that I will always be with you."

"Please, don't go, Bella."

"I have to, you'll be fine." I said smiling at her. I could feel the car slowing, we were getting to the end of Charlie's street and I had to get out and wait for Edward to drop Renee at the front door.

I leaned forward and kissed Renee on the forehead, she closed her eyes and smiled, trying to hold onto the moment for as long as possible.

I wished her to sleep again as the car came to a stop. The light was conveniently out and the area was cast in shadows. Renee's head slumped gently to her chest and her breathing became rhythmic again. I looked in the mirror.

"Can you yellow cab me?" mused Edward, his eyes were full of sympathy.

I nodded and thought about each of the houses and the occupants and Renee, then I thought about the Mercedes being a cab for the duration of it's time on the street, it was easier that way. If anyone saw Dr. Cullen driving a cab to work it could get a little unusual around the town of Forks.

I nodded and climbed out of the car noiselessly and pushed the door closed gently. Edward gave me a concerned glance before driving towards the house, I nodded and backed into the shadows.

Edward pulled gently to the curb and I heard him gently speak to Renee. She woke up startled and gazed at Edward. She thanked him and gave him the money we'd planted in her purse. Then she got out and looked up at the small house, she stepped from the car and pulled her bag with her.

Edward pulled away from the curb and towards the other end of the street, he would be circling to come and get me. I watched as Renee took a deep breath and walked towards the house with her bag in her hand.

The door of the house opened slowly and Charlie stepped out into the light that washed the porch.

"Renee?" Charlie sounded surprised to see her.

"Charlie, I came to say . . . I'm so sorry." Renee's voice broke and her head fell into her hands as she wept again.

Charlie dashed from the house and pulled her into an embrace.

"No need to apologize, it was hard for us all. Why don't you come inside." he said gently.

Renee nodded and let Charlie guide her into the house, his arm still wrapped around her lightly. The door clicked and I turned to see Edward parked next to me on the curb. his eyes were still full of concern as he watched me, but I was strangely at ease, it didn't hurt any less, but knowing that my parents were alright and they would be safe made it bearable.

Edward stepped out of the Mercedes and pulled me into his embrace. "They'll be fine." he whispered.

I nodded into his chest and heaved a large sigh. It had been harder than I could have ever anticipated, but I knew that they would survive with a chance at happiness. I had said goodbye the only way I knew how. He was right, they would be fine, and I had guaranteed that, I would never tie myself to them as a vampire, and if anything like this were to come up again, as far as anyone else was concerned, they didn't exist. I would protect them as much as I could.

Now, I had to start my new life, the one I had chosen for myself. I had four wonderful brothers and sisters and two adoptive parents I couldn't possibly respect more. I also had a fiancé that I loved with every ounce of myself, he was my world now, my reason for existing.

I sighed and wrapped my arm around his waist. "I think I'm ready to go home."

"You don't want to stay?" he asked, his tone light but inquisitive.

"No, I've said my goodbyes, now I have to let them live their lives" I turned to face him and stood on my toes, he understood and bent to meet me with a kiss. "I also need to start mine." I whispered.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, i won't bore you with the details . . .

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