The entire ride home was spent in silence, while his mind was screaming and tossing emotions back and forth, contemplating and setting up a game plan to get Mituna back into his life. Before dropping off Latula at her house, she provided him with useful information about his everyday habits and free hours at school.
The dark vehicle stopped in front of the driveway of Latula's small and modest home and with words of thanks stepped out of the car. Before walking away, she stopped to tilt her body in front of the open car window.
- He had two hours to himself everyday before and during lunchtime. You can catch him at the library in his private study where no one will be around at the time.
Cronus smiled and nodded.
- Thanks, doll.
The girl returned the kind gesture.
- No, thank you. For everything. It means the world to me.
- I might just cry. - he teased, playfully pretending to wipe away a tear from his cheek.
Latula laughed, waved goodbye and walked away and most likely it was the last time they'd ever talk. With her gone, it was like a certain weight was lifted from his shoulders. She was constantly hovering over Mituna, tending to his every need, driving the both of them mad in annoyance to the point they couldn't take each others company. In a way it was sad, considering the heavy memories they dragged was only making the two miserable, especially since one side will always remember and the other never will. It became his responsibility to bring the both of them happiness in any way he could. Love and comfort for the hurt and a sense of peace for the other. Regardless of his fear of not knowing what might happen, if it truly was for the better, he still felt good. Optimistic in fact. So many things might go wrong, yet he felt the positivity down to the marrow in his bones.
Cronus was suddenly tossed from his train of thought by a disturbing vibration in the pocket of his jeans. Because he was driving in town and police were practically on every corner, he decided he wall call the person back once he got home. Luckily, the lights on the main street turned red giving him a chance to answer the caller at the last minute. He didn't who it was, as he felt he needed to be in a hurry.
- Yeah? - he answered, looking around for any cops that might be eyeing him suspiciously.
- I'm aware it's impolite to be calling anyone at this hour, but I needed to know you're ok, so I may rest easy.
Cronus smiled to himself, glad that it none other than his best friend making sure he was still alive.
- It's fine, I'm ok now. Certain things needed to be said, but everything is savvy. I promise to tell you tomorrow, over the phone wouldn't be a good idea.
- You don't have to tell me a thing, unless you feel it's necessary.
- No, Kankri. You're my best friend and you deserve to know why I was acting like a complete douche, in my opinion that's necessary.
The man on the other line sighed, yet it was a sigh of relief.
- Very well, we'll meet after I bring Eridan from school.
- See you then.
Cronus felt his insides turn into knots, realizing he was going to share the most intimate part of his life so far. But he knew Kankri deserved every right to know, especially since he's always been there to help him through thick and thin. But for know, the only thing he had on his mind was Mituna. Was he really that bad? Did his appearance change as well as his personality? Deep down he was hoping he was still the healthy and goofy teenager from his memories. He should have realized that he wasn't the only one suffering from the sudden withdrawal. Mituna's mind was quite fragile and his heart and emotions easily tipped off balance. To be pushed away by the person that he shared his time, laughs and conversations, it was no wonder he felt crushed. He probably felt more alone than ever. First dropped by the girl that loved him most in the world, than by the one and only person that accepted his new self with all the ugly sides. Cronus was mentally beating the crap out of his existence for never taking Mituna's heart into consideration. He was lonely, afraid and so insecure he grew afraid of the world he needed to learn all over again. And with nobody there to hold his hand, he shriveled deeper into his shell.
As Cronus leaned his tired body against the mattress of his bed, the voice inside his head kept repeating the boy's name over and over, begging the universe that he's ok, asking for forgiveness for the damage he had caused out of pure selfishness. He opened his eyes to look up at the pale ceiling of his room noticing the old marks on it's surface where glow-in-the-dark stickers of stars and planets once were. He sighed, breathing in the nostalgic memories of his childhood. Only feelings of melancholy were there to caress his already saddened heart. He imaged how his his mother used to tuck him into bed, twinkling lights from above and her gentle voice filling his ears, singing him sleep. And just like that, his conscious drifted away from his body with only the memory of his mother's words to put him to sleep.
The next morning, Cronus awoken with an intense surge of determination and confidence. Today was the day. He needed to makes things right again. For Latula and most of all for Mituna. He needed to tell him everything, apologize and hope he was merciful enough to forgive him. Eridan was already awake, lying on in the carpet in the living room scribbling in a notepad. It was odd for him to be up at such an hour. Cronus ran down the stairs, putting on a t-shirt and fastening his belt at the same time. He stopped to stare at his little brother, when Eridan felt his presence and looked up at him with a smile.
- Good morning! - he exclaimed and ran up to the greaser to embrace his body.
- Hey there, chief. What are up this early?
Eridan looked up at him with such an expression, that made Cronus slightly uncomfortable. His face went dark and his eyes lost the lively spark in them. Something wasn't right.
- You know I love you, right? Please don't be sad anymore, because it's making me sad.
The little creature never ceased to surprise him. Cronus smiled down and his brother ruffling his curly locks. He could think he was alone in the world with no one to understand, but all in all no one felt him as well as Eridan. Even though he was still young and couldn't understand certain things, he was still able to feel Cronus on every spiritual level. It just goes to prove that nothing can compare to your flesh and blood, no other ties are equally as strong as those family shares. He felt so grateful that Eridan was his brother and until he dies he will always thank the world for letting him be by his side.
- Of course. And I love you and I always will.
- And we'll be together forever!
Cronus bent down and knelt in front of Eridan taking his small hands into his own.
- That's right. It's just us now. We need to make mom proud.
Eridan nodded energetically and wrapped his arms around Cronus's neck. The child was a jewel, no doubt about it.
Before heading out he prepared breakfast and lunch for Eridan that exchanged goodbyes and made his way to school. The drive felt long and tedious and he couldn't stop biting his fingernails. It was a habit he never had before. Many times he caught himself chewing his fingers and realized how ridiculous it was. But under and immense amount of stress he did it anyway, unconsciously. But he needed to keep a stone, cold facade. Especially in front of his friends. He wasn't prepared for anyone else to know, besides Kankri and Latula.
He stopped into front of his locker to remove a few books and at the same time to take a few breaths before closing the door. Once he slammed the hatch, he was surprised to see Meenah standing behind it scaring the daylights out of him. The girl giggled and raised am eyebrow at his reaction, hopefully she wasn't growing any suspicions.
- Someone's feeling jumpy. Had to much to drink last night?
Cronus laughed to himself, going with with her story and hoping she won't ask about his absence.
- You have no idea.
Meenah eyed him suspiciously and leaned against the lockers, folding her arms.
- Really? Cause nobody saw you at the party last night, let alone by the bar. Caliborn was disappointed.
Shit.
- Can't say I blame him. - Cronus replied quickly. - I was feeling pretty beat after the show, so I went home.
Cronus suddenly realized that was the wrong thing to say. It was completely out of his style, he'd never leave a party without having a few drinks. But it was too late to take it back, Meenah wrinkled her nose, as she was no fool and could smell a lie from a mile away. But for some reason she said nothing else, she let it slide. Cronus took the occasion to quickly escape her presence and made his way to the first lesson. Saved by the bell. But he knew he wouldn't be able to escape his friends forever. And he was hoping Meenah wasn't going around telling them somethings not right with him. If only he could turn invisible or some cheesy stuff like that.
It was an hour away from his meeting with Mituna and he was feeling more stressed than ever. He completely lost sense of his surrounding and even failed to register when some one was speaking to him. It wasn't so bad when it was a teacher as they didn't seem to care he was really paying attention or not. But his friends however interpreted that in a totally different way. Cronus was absentmindedly removing his math book from the locker, when a hand was placed on his shoulder and he was spun around to meet Rufioh's angry brown eyes.
- Are you even listening to me? Where the hell were you last night?!
Cronus felt panic rise as his brain was screaming in confusion, unsure of what to do to defend itself. He was standing there completely dumbfounded, while Rufioh grew impatient. He was about to say something, anything when Meenah approached them and draped an arm around Cronus's waist.
- He was with me.
Rufioh raised his eyebrows in confusion and everyone by now was aware she was going out with Aranea. Meenah noticed his surprised and groaned.
- Get your mind out of the gutter, Nitram. We were chilling in the green room, then I dragged his drunk ass back home, nothing more nothing less.
Cronus froze and wasn't unable to react in any way. Rufioh shrugged, seeming to accept the information.
- Ok, ok. I got it. - he said and walked away, as the girl's frown was a frightening sight and nobody liked to mess with an angry Meenah.
When he was gone, Cronus was about to thank her when she turned around to lock eyes with his and she was still looking very unhappy.
- You better be thankful for saving your ass, cause I'm going to receive a mouthful from Aranea by lunchtime.
Her face softened and she leaned her thin arms on her small waist.
- I don't get why you're lying in the first place. Did you murder someone or what?
- It's not that extreme. - Cronus assured.
- Whatever it was, I got your back. But just so know, I don't like being lied to.
That said, she walked away without waiting for any explanations, which Cronus was very grateful for. But he began feeling partially guilty for disappointing her. Meenah was a good friend, she always helped him no matter what it was, good of bad, she was by his side. He thought about telling her, but at the same time there was nothing to say. That he liked another guy? But he wasn't even sure Mituna ever wanted to see him again and he didn't want to get her involved in a situation that might never flower. But he shoved those thoughts aside, keeping positive and hoping that the odds would be in his favor, for Latula's as well as his sake.
His mind was completely beyond earth's atmosphere as his eyes stayed glued to the clock, that slowly passed each second as if they were hours. He was beginning to mad, trying to make it hands go faster, but at the same time grabbing onto them wishing they went slower. Eternally, he having a battle between his own fear and confidence. By now he couldn't which side was winning. But the loud sound of the bell certainly terrified him more than anything else. With shaky hands, he packed his bags and in a fast pace exited the classroom. He went to his locker simply to use it as an excuse to stand still and hide his face in the hollow hole. He was practically screaming for no one to come up to him and see him in the state he was in, it would be completely embarrassing on his part and awkward for the other party. He waited till the bell rang for the halls to become empty and sneak his way into the library without any witnesses. Once the students rushed into class, simultaneously giving him stares of confusion and soon the halls were left deserted. Cronus pretended to fumble with his books and once he was sure he was alone he locker the door and carefully started heading to the other end of school. The walk felt long and absolutely horrifying. Each stride became slower and heaver and soon he started feeling like he was about to walk the plank or be beheaded. He stopped in front of the library's door and took a deep breath before pushing it open. Quietly he walked inside, checking for any human presence and stopped when he heard the librarian walk around her desk and thankfully disappear behind a back door leading to the lunch room. She would be gone for a while. Cronus walked down the isle of numerous bookshelves and the closer he got to the door to more he felt like the walk of doom was getting longer. The shelves suddenly looked quite frightening and he could have sworn the room was growing darker the farther he went. There was nothing but dead silence around him and the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat. Standing in front of the door he stopped to attempt to relax his trembling body. His hands became quite clammy and he felt cold sweat dripping down his spine. It was now or never. He lifted a hand and knock on the door twice, waiting for an answer.
- Come in. - said a voice from the other side.
- Mituna.
Hearing the familiar voice say his name, Mituna froze and slowly raised his head with wide dual-colored eyes staring back in complete shock and disbelief. His once perfect round face irradiating happiness and a childlike innocence was no longer there. The life in his eyes was distinguished, replaced with exhaustion and sadness that made Cronus's heart want to rip itself apart. It was as if Mituna couldn't believe if Cronus was real or not. His eyes were looking, observing, but his mind completely dismissed reality. He remained motionless, not trusting what was in front of him. Cronus took one step forward and abruptly Mituna stood up from his seat shacking his head, never removing his gaze from the intruder.
- It's me, Cronus.
Mituna sad eyes were suddenly filled with a frightening, uncharacteristic anger as he frowned and tilted his head to the side.
- No. - he whispered. - It's not.
Those three little words made Cronus stop to a halt as they pierced his chest releasing a stinging pain in his throat.
- It really is 'Tuna. This is not a trick. I'm here.
The smaller male threateningly raised a finger taking a step away from the greaser. His stance was defensive and aggressive, like a frightened animal that was beginning to grow agitated.
- Don't call me, 'Tuna. You're not Cronus, you're just some stranger. Just get out before I get mad.
Cronus has never felt so helpless in his life. All of his hope and determination was slowly evaporating into the air. In a way he was prepared for an argument, but this was nothing like he had imagined. Mituna wasn't just angry. He was beyond that. His eyes were like daggers that were mercilessly stabbing him in every part of his body. It was a rage beyond his comprehension.
- Please, Mituna. Hear me out. I'm sorry for hurting you. At least give me a chance to explain myself.
- And why would I do that! - Mituna shouted with astonishing mockery, throwing Cronus off balance. - You left me! All alone! You just fucking left like everyone else! I thought you were my friend, I thought you cared, but you don't! Nobody does! Not even Latula! I'm just some sad fuck up that no one gives a shit about!
His arms dropped at his sides and he feverishly started rubbing one of his eyes as tears were starting to stream down his checks like rivers.
- I should be used to this by now, since everyone treats me like this. Why do I even try. I'll just be tossed aside like a toy nobody wants.
Cronus was prepared to drop to his knees and accept any form of punishment if only Mituna would stop saying such horrible things, understand his mistake and accept his sincere apology.
- You're not a fuck up. I didn't mean to leave you like that. I never wanted that to happen, I swear to God. Things were so screwed up and I didn't know how to deal with my problems, so I ended up pushing you aside which was never my intention. Believe me.
Cronus reached out his hand, but Mituna quickly evaded the contact and shook his head covering his ears, backing away from his touch like it was poison ivy.
- Please, just go away. I don't want to be hurt anymore. Just leave and never come back.
As he lowered his hand Cronus stopped to listen to his silent sobs as he kept repeating those words over and over again like a spell of protection against the bad man in front of him. Cronus hated himself so much for all the wrong he had caused and was ready to give up to ease the boy's suffering. But, no. He'd still suffer. Without anyone there to help him, be with him he would wither away like a flower in a dry desert. The loneliness and hatred would drive him mad. But most importantly, Cronus made a promise. To himself and to Latula. Mituna needed him regardless of his protests. He needed support and love and Cronus was the only person left willing to give him his heart. He clenched his fist and quickly crossed the room, filling in the space between him and the boy cowering in fear. Mituna alarmed by his change of nature lifted his head and was suddenly pressed against Cronus's chest into a forced embrace. Cronus tightened his grip around the boy, as the moment Mituna was able to comprehend his situation he started pushing and trashing to get away from him. Luckily, Cronus was taller and stronger or else one of Mituna's punches would have ended up colliding against his face.
- Mituna, stop. - he said firmly.
But Mituna never faltered. It only fueled his anger and his attacks became more forceful, literally beating Cronus till there would certainly form bruises on his upper body.
- Fuck you, let me go! - he growled.
- Listen to me, you fool! I'm sorry I hurt you I never wanted this to happen. I was fucking selfish. I thought I was doing the right thing, ok?! I was afraid and couldn't trust myself, so I left. Because I didn't want to end up hurting you. Even though I ended up doing that anyway, just know that I never wanted you to suffer like this and I'm sorry. You mean so much to me, Mituna. I don't ever want to leave you again and I promise to never cause any harm ever again. Just please fucking stop already. I beg of you. Please.
Cronus didn't give up. He refused to give into the pressure. He stood his ground and held Mituna tight, waiting for him to either run out of energy or come to his senses. Finally, that moment came quite sooner than he expected. Mituna's cries and clamor started to gradually fade, for he was way to weak and exhausted to fight. His hands that were balled into fists slamming against Cronus's chest ceased their violent actions and grabbed onto his shirt like it was the only thing keeping him from falling to the ground. His voice grew hoarse and harsh words were muffled by the sobs and tears staining the shirt he pressed his face against. When Cronus felt Mituna's tense body relax he reached a hand into Mituna's hair and gently patted his head soothing him with calm words.
- I hate you so much. - Mituna struggled to say in between sobs, clenching onto Cronus even tighter.
- I know, 'Tuna, I know.
They stood there embraced in each others warmth, together for the first time in what felt like years. They had so much to say to each other, so many words that were unsaid and needed to be vocalized but at the same time they were so afraid to speak or let go of each other, as if their very existence depended on it. Cronus wanted that moment to last forever. Finally holding Mituna in his arms made him realize how much his heart had been longing for his warmth, his presence and how he was hoping that it all wasn't just a dream and he was about to wake up. If it was a dream, he wanted to stay asleep forever. He'd rather die, than wake up and be alone again.
Mituna's sobbing had subsided and all that was left were the tears that kept flowing and didn't want to stop. Cronus's shirt was already soaked and he himself was beginning to feel that annoying lump in his throat, threatening to squeeze out a few salty tears.
- Stop crying already, I mean it. - he said in a stern tone, but Mituna didn't seem to want to comply.
- It's your fucking fault, you douche.
Cronus smiled and pulled Mituna away to place his hands on his tear-stained cheeks. Mituna's eyes were already swollen and red, but the tears they shed made them look ever so bright and alive. With his thumbs, Cronus wiped away the remaining streams from his freckled cheeks. Mituna bashfully placed his hands over the greaser's wrists and looked up at him with a vulnerable expression.
- Do really mean it? All of it?
- I do. - he said and smiled. - You're stuck with me forever.
Mituna's eyes widened unable to mutter another word for his heart was pounding so hard in his chest he was incapable of forming a coherent sentence. Mituna was in such awe, that all he was able to do was smile widely to express just how happy those words made him feel. No one has ever said anything like that to him. In that moment, for the first time in what felt like an eternity he felt important, appreciated. Like he truly mattered.
Cronus laughed at Mituna's giddy expression making him crack a toothy smile. Boy, was Mituna something else. The only person that could ever make him feel so helpless, yet at the same time smitten at how much he adored the freckle-faced boy for all he was. Only Mituna was capable of making his knees buckle, that's a fact. After smiling at each other in silence like a bunch of lovesick morons, Cronus grew highly aware of how close their faces were and he quickly straightened his back to ruffle the fluffy, black curls his fingers loved to play with.
- Gosh, do I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Mituna laughed and playfully punched Cronus in the arm, yet Cronus was already feeling slightly sore after holding him as if he was a rabid dog on the loose and therefore it stung just a bit.
- I'm still mad at you. You won't be forgiven that easily, asshole.
Cronus amused by the remark raised an eyebrow and scoffed.
- Really now. Shucks, sounds like I have a punishment coming my way. Can't say I don't deserve it, though.
- You bet you'll get punished! And I'll make sure it's severe, just you wait.
At that moment the bell rang signaling the end of recess and the crowd of students could even be heard from the small room on the library. Cronus sighed and gave Mituna one last pat on the head.
- I guess I'll see you after school then, yeah?
Mituna made a frown and dropped his gaze.
- My dad is picking me up from school.
Cronus raised his eyebrows, thinking back to when he first met the elder Captor on his driveway. The tall man seemed pleasant, but Mituna didn't look to happy about it. Maybe he had issues with his old man? Well, he himself wasn't a saint when it came to father-son discipline and respect. Besides, it wasn't his place to prod at the subject since it clearly seemed like a fragile topic in Mituna's book. Maybe when they spent more time together he will be able to get to know a lot more about his family.
- Oh. Permanently?
Mituna shrugged his shoulders, but the fact that he didn't answer yes seemed odd. Once again, not his place to be nosy.
- You know, I can do that if it's ok with you.
Now, Mituna seemed to really approve of the proposition and immediately responded by energetically nodding his head.
- Awesome. Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow then.
They exchanged their goodbye's and Cronus quickly headed off to class for he spent way to much time with Mituna already and would be pushing it if he were late for class. The whole time he was unconsciously sporting a wide grin earning concerned glances from his classmates that were way too used to Cronus being a walking cloud of irritation. Not even his body was able to conceal the happiness he was experiencing. There was so much, that it came pouring out. And Cronus couldn't gave a damn in the world.