APOV
I groan, with a terrible headache. Since I don't want to wake, I turn on my side, pull the pillow next to me a little closer and burry my face. As soon as I inhale, my eyes pop wide open, only for me to quickly shut them because of the bright light.
Christian's scent is on my pillow. I flip on my front and squint as I look around the room I am in. I almost thought I would wake up at Escala, because of his scent on my pillow, but I'm in my room in the apartment I share with Kate. And I'm alone.
How did I get here?
When I look at my side table, it feels as if I woke in the story Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. There are two tablets with a note that says 'Eat Me', a glass of orange juice with a note that says 'Drink Me', and an envelope that says 'Read Me' all in neat cursive handwriting that I recognize to be Christian's.
My head is pounding, so I sit up and take the tablets, drinking nearly half the glass of orange juice.
Just as I'm reaching for the envelope there is a knock on my door and it opens before I can say anything.
"Hey, you." Kate says with only her head poking through.
Since she sees I am awake she enters my room completely, shutting the door behind her, and getting on the bed next to me.
"How are you feeling?" She asks as she gets under the blankets with me. "I've been given specific instructions to check on you every half hour until you woke."
"I have a major headache." I admit. I suspect Christian told her to check on me. Speaking of, "Where is Christian?"
"He had some business to attend to, but he wouldn't give me anymore information than that."
"What happened last night?"
"Before or after you passed out? Or both?"
"After." I answer her. "I vaguely remember Christian and Chad fighting."
"Yeah, they were brawling last night and both look pretty messed up. Grey showed up at club last night and thought Garrett was going to take advantage of you so he kicked his ass, but Chad got in a few good hits as well, mostly defensive. I sure wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of Christian Grey. Not only does he have a lot of influence in Seattle, but he sure can whip some ass for a businessman. Elliot said Christian's into kickboxing, has a professional trainer and everything."
Bits of last night come back to me.
"José." I growl when I remember he tried to kiss me when I told him no.
"I'm going to have that fucker's balls for earrings!" Kate shouts and means it. "He's the one who tried to take advantage of you and he gets away Scott-free while Chad and Christian, the two protecting you, get the shit beat out of them, by each other no less. You forgive people too easily, Steele, and that's great that you don't hold grudges, but you need to hold your ground with him. There's no telling what that fucker could have done."
"I know. I'm very upset with him, and I'm seriously reconsidering our friendship right now."
I can't believe José did that. We've been friends for four years. I always knew he liked me, but I didn't think he would ever do that.
"So what happened after I passed out?" I have never been that drunk before, and I vow to never do it again.
"Well, we all left. Christian carried you out of the club through a back entrance. Chad took Stephanie home, I rode back here with Elliot, and Christian brought you home in his SUV that some guy was driving. But before that, Chad explained everything that happened to Christian, and he didn't even thank or apologize to Chad after he learned what happened."
"I suspect he's wanted to hit him for awhile now, just for being my ex. Heck, I wanted to hit him for leaving me stranded awhile back."
"What?! He left you stranded?!"
Oh, did I forget to mention that to Kate?
"He and I got into an argument on the way to José's show, that I never made it to by the way. Chad caught me messaging Christian while I was with him, and Chad was trying to reconcile. He obviously got upset, and rightfully so. We weren't even broken up for a week and I was already messaging another guy."
"Wow, Ana, that's a bold move."
"I wasn't thinking, I was just so caught up with Fif- I mean, Christian that I just... totally forgot Chad was even in the car with me. We had broken up, so I didn't see it as betraying him in anyway, but Chad didn't see it that way. He got jealous, I got out of his car, and he took off after I told him to leave me alone. He came back not even 5 minutes later and if I wasn't so relieved," And scared out of my mind. "I probably would have snapped on him. It's in the past, but Christian's now the jealous one. I just don't understand why he's so jealous."
He's fucked hundreds of women, and still has their numbers I'm sure. How else did he call Stephanie? I'm not jealous, and I'm friends with his ex for goodness sake. Okay, when I first saw Stephanie, I admit, I did get a little territorial, but I've moved passed that and we're now friends. And because of that, I have been staying away from Chad, so Christian doesn't feel the way I felt when I first saw Steph. The only reason why Chad was there last night, was because Stephanie invited him, not me.
"Men are territorial like that." Kate explains.
I shrug, looking down and see I'm no longer wearing what I wore last night.
"Did you change me?"
"Christian did." Kate tells me. "I would have if he wasn't your boyfriend, but since he is, I didn't think you would mind. He even stayed here last night to keep an eye on you, which is really sweet if you ask me, but he left early this morning. He actually just left not too long before I came in."
"He's not my boyfriend." I murmur sadly.
"Oh, no! Did you two break up?"
"No, nothing like that. He has commitment issues," Is the only thing I can think of. "And he doesn't want to label our relationship."
"I don't understand. I thought you said he was your boyfriend?"
"I never said he was my boyfriend. I just told you I met him online and we decided to try for more."
"As in sex?"
I nod.
"Ana..." She trails off, whining my name.
I look down, knotting my fingers together.
"I think... I think I'm falling for him." I finally admit out loud.
"Have you told him?"
I shake my head. I can't.
"Why don't you tell him? You have to know that man has the same feelings. Elliot said he's never seen his brother act this way towards a woman before."
Elliot's never seen him act this way towards a woman before because he's never seen Christian with a woman. Christian keeps his lifestyle and Submissives a secret from his family. I'm not even sure why he brought me to his parents house and introduced me to them. He even let them assume I'm his girlfriend, when clearly that's not what he wants.
"It's so obvious Christian cares for you." Kate continues.
"He does." I agree with her because it's true. He told me he would be devoted to me, but surely he tells that to every Sub.
"So why don't you talk to him?"
"I did." Kind of. "I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend and he said no."
"Sweetie." I wrap my arms around Kate when she holds me.
~..~..~
After I'm showered, dressed, and ate some dry toast, because it's all I can handle right now, I go back to my bedroom to finally read the note inside the envelope that I never got the chance to do when I woke. I sit on my bed and grab the envelope, taking out the note inside, written in Christian's handwriting.
Anastasia,
I hope you're feeling better.
I'd like you to come to Escala today.
As soon as it's convenient for you.
We need to talk.
Christian.
I put the note back inside the envelope and grab my phone to look at all the missed calls, messages, and voicemails I missed last night. I have missed calls and voicemails from Christian last night while I was at the club, and a missed call last night and this morning from José, as well as voice messages and texts from the two. I decide to read through my text messages first.
What are you doing, Anastasia? -C
The time he sent this is when we had just arrived at the club and Chad showed up.
Call me! -C
Anastasia, if you don't call me, I'll be forced to call Elliot. -C
I reread that message again and again.
How did he know I was with Elliot?
The only time I saw Elliot with his phone was when he gave it to me with the call from Christian.
Ana, I'm sorry about last night. Forgive me? -J
I roll my eyes at my so-called friend's message.
I ignore José's message, as I try to think of how to deal with him, and send Christian a message.
Thanks for taking care of me last night. Yes, we need to talk. I can be at Escala in 10 minutes, if you so wish, sir. -A
He replies instantly.
I will see you in 10. -C
From his message, I can't tell what kind of mood he's in. I decided to pack my overnight bag anyway, just incase.
I say goodbye to Kate, letting her know where I'm going and that I may not be home tonight, then leave.
I know what I want to talk to him about... How he knew I was at the club... How he knew I stayed... But what does he want to talk to me about?
Oh god, I hope I didn't say anything to him about 'more' when I was stupefied with drink! Surely anything I said can't be held against me.
It doesn't take me long to pull into Escala's underground parking.
I take a deep calming breath before I exit my vehicle and walk towards the elevator.
When the elevator doors open in the penthouse apartment's foyer, I'm a little shocked to see Christian waiting for me instead of Taylor.
I get a look at his face that clearly shows he's been in an altercation; with his busted lip and small cut on his cheek bone.
Even though we agreed to only exchange power in the Playroom, I bow my head Submissively in the presence of my Master, and I walk towards him, standing directly in front of him.
"How are you feeling?" He asks me gently.
"Better than I deserve, sir." I answer him.
"Look at me, Anastasia."
I look up, but try to avoid eye contact like the contract advised me; the Submissive shall not look at the Dominant.
"Would you like to explain to me why you stayed out after you told me you would go home?" He's in full Dom-mode.
"Would you like to explain to me how you knew I was out?" I reply defiantly.
I know he's glaring at me, but I choose to ignore it.
"Elliot." Is all he says, clenching his jaw, eyes blazing now.
"Bullshit!" I call, finally looking at him. "I was with Elliot and not once did he look at his phone or take a phone call until you called him, that, and you sent me a text message asking what I was doing as soon as we arrived at the club, which leads me to believe you knew exactly what I was doing as you've never just sent a text asking what I was doing before. Furthermore, you knew I stayed after I said I would leave, how?!"
He opens his mouth to speak but I interrupt him before he says anything.
"Don't you dare lie to me, Christian. You said you wouldn't lie to me, and I know you didn't talk to Elliot after we spoke because I had his phone. Now tell me the truth!"
"I am your Dom. You are my Submissive." He growls, his voice is rough and demanding.
Those words have never hit me so hard. It feels as if someone has punch me in my chest.
"I don't have to explain myself to you!" He roars, glaring, and towering over me. "You need to explain yourself to me. You said you would go home, yet you stayed, why? And don't give me one of your smart mouthed answers, Anastasia!"
"I-" I try to stay in control of my emotions and blink away the hurt I feel. "I changed my mind."
"You changed your mind?" He asks, staying Dominant.
"Yes. It's what we do as humans. We change our minds."
"You lied." He accuses me, glaring and stepping closer.
"I changed my mind." I step closer as well, not backing down.
We stare at each other for a long while, neither breaking eye contact, until he finally breaks our silence.
"I want you upstairs in the Playroom in fifteen minutes for your punishment." He orders me and tries to walk away, but I grab his arm, stopping him.
He looks at my hand on his arm then at me, and I can see the Dominant still lingering in his eyes.
"We agreed to power exchange only in a scene." I remind him as I remove my hand from his arm.
"You broke a rule, Ms. Steele." He says in his Dominant tone. "You're going to be punished."
"I didn't break a rule. We don't have any rules."
"We do. We may not have very many but I believe you agreed to obedience and personal safety." He reminds me. "Last night you put yourself at risk, did you not?"
"I-" Shit, he's right! "I was fine, I was with my friends."
"Your friends. What about the friend that tried to force himself on you?"
"It... It was just a misunderstanding. Besides, Chad interfered before anything could happen."
"Either way, you've earn a punishment. Playroom. Ten minutes now." He leaves me, without a second glance my way, standing in the foyer alone.
I take a deep breath and decided to just go with it. It is what I signed up for after all.
As I'm walking up the stairs to the bedroom he gave me, the bedroom I'm sure he gives to all his Submissives, I realize he never told me how he knew I was out or how he knew I stayed out after I told him I would go home. He said he doesn't answer to me because he's my Dominant and I am his Submissive.
If it's a Submissive he wants, it's a Submissive he's going to get.
I can't lose him, so if I never tell him I'm falling for him, that I want more; I wont lose him. Right?
I hurry to get ready once I'm in the Submissive suite, putting on a pair of sexy panties, braiding my hair the way he likes it, then grabbing the robe and go to the Playroom to wait for my Dominant to punish me for my infractions last night.
Once I'm inside the Playroom, I hang the robe on the back of the door, get into the Submissive pose near the door, and I get into my Sub-mode while I wait for my Dominant.
It takes him well over ten minutes to enter. It felt as if I was waiting an hour or more.
I can see the frayed edges of his sexy distressed jeans that he wears in his Playroom.
I'm less nervous about this punishment because my last punishment felt so good. So good that I'd be naughty again just to receive that punishment again, however, this time he's more upset with me it seems and I'm not entirely sure why. Last time, I left him. This time, I got drunk and stayed out with my friends. Surely that can't be worse, can it?
"Stand." I hear his demand and do as I'm told.
I feel him walk around me, standing behind me. He moves my braid to my shoulder.
"Why are you being punished, Ms. Steele?"
"For going out with my friends, sir." I reply sarcastically.
smack
He slaps my ass.
"Try again."
"For changing my mind, sir." Another sarcastic reply.
smack
He slaps my ass again.
"Try again."
"For lying, sir?" I guess, emphasizing, at what he wants to hear, and rolling my eyes, though he doesn't see this.
He doesn't slap my ass this time so I assume I'm correct, however, I didn't lie. Instead he wraps my braid around his hand, pulling me back to him, then running his nose just behind my ear. He snakes his other hand around to my front holding me to him.
"You have a very smart mouth, Ms. Steele, perhaps I should punish that too. You're being punished for not notifying me of your changed plans. For putting yourself at risk. For-" He stops from continuing. "Do you remember the first paddle you chose?"
I wonder why he stopped from continuing to list my misdemeanors.
"Y-yes, sir." I end up stuttering as I remember the paddle he said wasn't for me because it would be too painful.
"Go get it."
He releases his hold of me so that I may obey his orders.
I wasn't nervous before, but now I am, as I hesitantly walk towards the paddles, canes, belts, and other implements used to punish.
With a shaky hand, I grab the paddle.
Before I turn around, I feel his hands on my hips, then he grasps my panties, pulling them from my body, destroying them and tossing them in front of me on the floor.
"Turn around." He demands.
When I turn around he's standing directly behind me, holding his hand out. I keep my head bowed, place the paddle in his hand, and await further instructions.
"Bend over." He instructs me, pointing towards his bench with the paddle in his hand.
I obey.
"I'm going to hit you 10 times, Ms. Steele."
10! I stay quiet.
"Remember your safe words."
SMACK!
He hits me hard before he's even finished his sentence.
"Ahh!" I cry out.
"Quiet." He reprimands me. "Unless you need to safeword, I want you quiet. Will you notify me of your plans if you change them, Ms. Steele?"
"Yes, sir."
SMACK!
He hits me just as hard as before and I try not to cry out this time. It's more painful than my last punishment, but it's nothing compared to the belt Chad used. I can do this, it's just more of the reason why I'm being punished more than anything that has me upset.
"Will you drink to excess again, putting yourself at risk, Ms. Steele?"
"No, sir."
SMACK!
"Will you lie to me again, Ms. Steele?"
"I didn't-"
SMACK!
"Answer me."
"No, sir!" I shout at him. A tear escapes as I give him the answer he wants to hear.
I don't know how much longer I can take, this is nothing like my last punishment and it's really starting to hurt. He said 10 and this is only the 4th spanking. There's nothing pleasurable about this punishment. I told him I don't like punishments, he told me punishments are supposed to hurt, but I don't like it.
Do I stop him?
I didn't stop Chad and look what happened. I can't lose Christian. I can't.
I decide to take the punishment. It's a part of the lifestyle I want, and it's not that bad, I just don't like it. If it becomes too much, I will safeword.
I brace myself for the next blow but it doesn't come.
"Do you need to safeword?" He checks gently, dropping his Dominance.
"No, sir." I sniff.
"Anastasia."
"I'm fine, sir."
I hear something hit the floor with a bounce then I feel Christian pull me to stand, cupping my face with his hands. I try not to look at him, but it's proving difficult with his hands tipping my head back so I close my eyes.
"Anastasia, you need to safeword if you need to safeword."
"I'm fine, sir." I try not to sniff but it's a necessity.
"No, you're not. As your Dominant, it's my job to ensure you are. I can tell by your body that you're not fine. You need to safeword, Anastasia. If it's too much, you need to safeword. I don't want to lose you."
I don't want to lose him either so I stay quite, ever the Submissive, because he didn't ask a question or give me permission to speak.
"Talk to me." He almost begs, his hands still cupping my face as his thumbs wipe my tears.
"I'm being punished." I say void of the emotion I feel, staying in Sub-mode, with my eyes remaining closed so I'm not forced to look him in his beautiful grey eyes. "I'm not meant to like it, sir." I repeat what he told me in one of our chats.
"That's true, but you are still able to safeword if you need to and I know you needed to safeword."
I stay quiet with my eyes closed and keep them closed when I feel him move away from me.
The next thing I feel is fabric covering me and I know it's my robe.
I want to ask what he's doing, but I stay in Sub-mode, not speaking.
I assist him in helping me into my robe.
"We're done with the scene, Anastasia." He tells me but I stay in Sub-mode.
Great! He's ending our scene because I'm a failure at this lifestyle. I'm a wannabe amateur who can't take the punishments my Dominants dish out. And here I was, worried he would end our relationship if he found out I was falling for him, now he's sure to end our relationship since I'm not Submissive enough.
Perhaps if I show him I'm the Sub he wants, he wont end this; our relationship. This is what he wants; a Sub.
He takes me by my arm and leads me out of the Playroom and to my Submissive bedroom, all while neither one of us says a word.
In the bathroom he removes my robe and rubs arnica cream on my behind.
After he's finished, he takes me back out to the bedroom and goes into the walk-in closet, coming back with gray sweats and a blush pink T-shirt. More adorable and expensive than any of mine.
"How are you feeling?" He ask as he helps me into fresh underwear and the clothes.
"I'm fine, sir." And I really am.
It hurt but I could take the pain, it was nothing like being hit with a belt, that's for sure, although I am grateful that he stopped.
"Anastasia, we're no longer in a scene." He reminds me.
"I know, sir." I keep up my Sub-mode, addressing him properly and head bowed.
This is what he wants from me.
I hear him sigh, and I know he's running his fingers through his sexy copper hair, but I don't dare look up.
"Lunch in 30 minutes." He says before he leaves the room.
Is he saying lunch will be ready in 30 minutes, or I'm to fix lunch and have it ready in 30 minutes?
Well, at least he didn't end our relationship. Yet.
I sigh as I plop down on the bed, flinching since my ass stings, and putting my head in my hands with my elbows resting on my thighs.
How am I going to do this? I want to be with him, but being with him makes me want more. How did his other Subs last so long, we've barely been together long enough to know each other, yet here I am, already falling.
They didn't last long, Ana, My subconscious taunts. He ended their contract as soon as they mentioned the M word.
I never thought the four letter word, more, could be so powerful.
Maybe I should just tell him how I feel. If he ends the contract, better it ends now than later down the road when I've fallen completely and irrevocably in love with him. I'll probably turn into some psycho-ex-stalker-Sub if I wait too long to tell him and he ends this relationship, or wait on pins and needles for him to figure it out and ends our relationship because of it. However, if he feels the same, we can move forward with our relationship and not just as Dom/Sub.
Who are you trying to fool?! He told you LAST NIGHT he didn't want you to be his girlfriend.
~..~..~
CPOV
I need Flynn!
I leave Anastasia in her room, and go to my study to call Flynn.
I don't know what the fuck just happened, but I was completely flaccid while punishing her, and when I saw her tears, my chest was hurting. I've made plenty of Submissives cry without a fucking care and still fucked them after their punishment, but why when I saw Anastasia's tears, did I feel...
I knew she didn't like being punished and I didn't like it either, for some strange fucking reason.
Nobody enters my office unannounced or without permission, but since Anastasia is here and I'll be discussing her with Flynn, I don't want her to open the door and hear anything she shouldn't, so once inside my office, I lock the door then sit behind my desk to call Flynn.
"Hello, Christian." Flynn answers my call.
"Flynn." I greet him.
"What can I help you with today?"
"Anastasia."
I've already had a whole session dedicated to Anastasia on Tuesday. I've told Flynn all about her and what has been happening.
It was one of my most intense sessions, and that's saying something.
He knows she's only my Submissive in the Playroom, during a scene. I've told him I'm giving her more than I have any other Sub before. I don't control her outside of the Playroom, she speaks her mind, she uses my given name, we have vanilla sex, in my fucking bed, she sleeps with me and I don't have nightmares when she's there. I've taken her to meet my fucking parents for fuck's sake. By the end of that session, I was left more confused than before. I thought the solution to my problems was to stop acting like a boyfriend and more like her Dominant.
"Yes, I remember. What about her?"
"She makes me... feel."
"And what does she make you feel?"
"Emotions. Unknown emotions I'm not familiar with. I've spent all my adult life trying to avoid any extreme emotions. Yet she... she brings out feelings that are completely alien."
"How do you feel about that?"
"It's very... unsettling."
"What emotions are you feeling, Christian?"
"Sympathy. Jealousy. Unknown emotions I've never felt before."
"Love?"
"No." I say through clenched teeth.
"How do you feel when she's around?"
"I feel happy." I admit. "Overjoyed. Thrilled. Free. Young. Excited. Aroused." I list many of the things I feel when I'm around her.
The list is endless.
"And you don't think what you're feeling could be love?"
"Don't be ridiculous." Why the fuck does he keep bringing up this love shit?! "I told you I don't do love, she can't love me."
"Why can't she?"
"I don't deserve love."
"Is this about you being a sadist? Because we've talked about this."
I don't bother replying to Flynn's sadist remark. We both disagree on the matter, that will never change.
"Everyone deserves love, Christian."
"Not me."
I hear him sign, then continue.
"So have decided if you are going to continue to give her more? Make love? This part vanilla, part BDSM relationship?"
"Of fucking course I am." What a ridiculous question. I'm loving this arrangement, I never want it to change. Or end.
"You wont admit your feelings for her, you claim you don't love her, when it's so obvious that you do, but you should know, if you continue this type of relationship, what's to stop her from falling in love with you?"
"That wont happen."
"You can't control who you fall in love with. Saying you'll never fall in love is like saying you'll never smile. No matter how hard you try, someone will come along and make you. Christian, you can't give her more emotionally, and not expect her to have feelings."
"Can you just stop with all this love bullshit."
"Okay, tell me why you've called, if you're so unconvinced you're falling in love with her. You've already told me she makes you feel things, unknown and alien to you. So I'm sure there's a reason for this call."
I sigh before I begin. "I was in Portland, scheduled to stay until Sunday morning the latest, but I returned last night, because Sawyer informed me that Anastasia was at a club. He also mentioned that she was with her ex."
"You left business matters because she, a submissive, was seeing her ex at a club?"
"As well as others, including Elliot and her roommate; Katherine." I mention so he doesn't get the wrong idea of her. "I became jealous and tried to call her but she didn't answer my calls or texts so I called Elliot and spoke to her on his phone. Near the end of our conversation, she said she would go home. Not long after we ended the call, Sawyer informed me she was staying and drinking more than before. I ended my business in Portland before finishing and flew Charlie Tango to the Mile High to get Anastasia. When I found her, it seemed as if her ex was going to take advantage of her drunken state, so I beat the shit out of him. He gave it right back. It felt great to finally hit the bastard." I smile as I remember hitting her ex.
"You haven't been in a brawl since high school. I'm sure he deserved it for what he was trying to do, however, violence is no way to solve a problem."
"Actually, he didn't."
"He didn't, what?"
"Deserve the fight. Well, that fight. It turns out, he wasn't trying to take advantage of Anastasia. I admit it felt great to finally hit him, but the reason for wanting to hit him was simple because he's had her."
"I'm not sure I follow."
"I showed up near the end and only heard the tail-end of their conversation. Apparently he was helping her. Another male friend of hers tried to force a kiss and she told him no, but the fucker wouldn't take no for an answer so Garrett stepped in. I didn't see that, I only heard Garrett offering to take her home. I didn't think, I just reacted. We ended up throwing punches until Taylor and Sawyer broke us up. That's when Elliot, Katherine, and Stephanie came out on the balcony."
"Stephanie?"
"Ms. Addams, a former Submissive of mine."
"A previous Submissive?" I could just imagine Flynn's face. "She was with your brother?"
My Submissives are forbidden to have any contact with my family, but I guess I have to make an exception here. Anastasia and Stephanie are becoming friends, as many Subs do, and Anastasia's roommate is fucking my brother so it's inevitable that Stephanie would meet my brother. Anastasia didn't introduce Stephanie to my brother as my ex or to harm me so there's no issue here.
"Actually, she was with Anastasia." I tell him. "They've become friends."
"Interesting. She's okay with you having an ex, and has even made friends with her, yet you can't look passed the one ex she has."
"Anyway," I continue not wanting to discuss that. "I took Anastasia home and stayed with her until morning, until her roommate woke. I had her roommate look in on her and I left. I had to deal with the aftermath of leaving Portland sooner than planned. Anastasia came to Escala... I planned to punish her."
"Planned to?"
"I did."
"What for? Hanging out with her ex?"
"No." I growl. "She told me she would go home. She stayed and drank well passed her limit, putting herself in danger."
"I see."
"Only I couldn't do it."
"Do what?"
"Punish her. I started to... I was getting into it, only I couldn't finish. I wasn't even getting aroused for fuck's sake."
"Why is that?"
"I don't know. I just felt I was hurting her. I never want to hurt her."
"You've said before, punishments are suppose to be painful. If you were punishing her, it would be painful. Why stop?"
"I told you. I never want to hurt her. It was hurting us both."
"It hurt her physically. How did it hurt you?"
"Emotionally."
"The alien emotions she brings out of you." He repeats what I told him."Why don't you try for a more... romantic relationship with this girl? See where it goes."
"No, I don't do romance. I told her that, she knows this."
"Try it." He suggests.
"I don't want romance." I growl. "I want a Submissive!"
~knock~knock~knock~
"I have to go."
"I'd like to see you in my office next week, Christian."
"Sure." I end the call and get up to answer the door.
Anastasia is standing on the other side of the door, head bowed submissively, hands clasped in front.
"Lunch is served, sir."
I frown confused by her behavior as we've agreed to only a power exchange in the Playroom or during a scene. I've gotten use to hearing her call me by my given name. I like it. Why is she acting this way? I told her we were no longer in a scene.
"Anastasia, we're not in a scene." I remind her.
She stays quiet. Submissive.
"Let's have lunch." I say to fill the silence.
We walk together towards the kitchen. I want to hold her hand but she still has them clasped together in front of her with her head bowed.
I sit at the breakfast, she sits after she's served me, and together we begin eating the lunch she made us.
Gail left cold cuts in the fridge for sandwiches. I planned to have that for lunch, but a hot meal is always preferred.
"Thank you." I tell her.
"How was your week?" I ask after awhile of silence. I haven't heard from her since Tuesday morning.
"It was fine, sir." She doesn't elaborate.
I drop my fork, a little upset that she's still in the Submissive role.
"Anastasia," I wipe my mouth before I begin. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, sir." She continues to eat, not looking at me, staying Submissive.
"Is this about your punishment?"
"No, sir."
"Then why the fuck are you still acting like a Sub?"
"I thought this is what you wanted, sir."
"Well, it's not." I grumble, petulantly, like a toddler not getting his way.
"You want a Submissive." She points out. "I am your Submissive. You've made that abundantly clear."
"Anastasia, I..."
She's right, I do want a Submissive, however, I've enjoyed the relationship we have.
My words to Flynn come back to bite me. 'I want a Submissive!'. Yet, I don't like it.
Running my hand through my hair, I continue.
"We agreed only to power exchange in a scene." I repeat, reminding her.
"Yes, sir. However, I am your Submissive. This is what you want; A Submissive. And that is what I am to you; A Submissive."
"I don't want-" I abruptly halt from saying anything more. "We agreed that you're only my Submissive in a scene." I repeat, stressing this.
"What do you want from me?" She finally looks at me.
What do I want from her?
"More." I blurt out before I can stop myself.