Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading.
Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)
A/N: It's finally time for Kara and Lee to face up to the events on Kobol. This chapter is a little different, the main scene will be seen from each person's perspective and how they're feeling. Each telling will also give you different insights to the scene and then there's an additional scene at the end to release the tension a little. Enjoy...
Chapter 21.
Bill sat looking at the two of them, taking in what he'd just been told. This meeting had been a long time coming, but now he was sitting here and wishing he hadn't pushed for it to happen today. He'd thought getting the two of them together and finding out what'd happened down on Kobol would help the two of them and give him some idea just what the problem between them was. Looking at them now though, he thought that was a mistake. He could see them almost unraveling before his eyes and his heart clenched as the words he'd just heard came back to him. If only he could reverse time so he didn't know what he now did; the only thing was how far would he go back? What happened to them on that planet was more than anyone should have to go through. The thought it'd happened to the people in front him made his stomach churn. Why them? Not that he'd wish it on anyone else either but the two of them were his children and he just wanted to keep them safe; which was a silly notion really given the current conditions they were living in.
He thought back just a few hours when things had seemed so simple; before he knew what the Cylon's had done. He'd been sitting at his desk reading a report from Major Cottle on the dead Cylon brought back from the Picon Princess. He'd been interrupted from his reading by a knock at his door. "Come in." he'd said, not realizing what exactly he was unleashing with those two words. The door opened and Lieutenant Agathon stood in the entrance. He could tell from the expression on his face that he wasn't the bearer of good news. "How can I help you, Lieutenant?"
"Sir, I'm not sure how to say this really."
Concern grew within him. "Is this about Lee? Has something happened to him on Pegasus? No one's contacted me to inform me."
Helo looked at the floor and stood uneasily before the obviously worried father. "Nothing's happened to him on Pegasus as far as I'm aware, Admiral. But the reason I'm here does partly relate to him, sir. It relates to both him and Starbuck." He paused, collecting his thoughts and trying to work out how to mention his concerns about the pilots who also happened to be his friends. "I've spent some time with both of them since they were captured by the Cylons. I'm worried about them both. They're struggling with whatever it was that happened down there. Neither of them will open up about what they went through. They can't even talk to each other about it and there's barely a civil word between them when they have to speak while on duty." He paused and looked at the floor, anywhere rather than at the Admiral. "Something needs to be done, Sir. There was an incident this morning on the Princess; thing's very nearly turned out very differently." Karl paused and Bill could see the guilt written all over his face. It was a look that made his heart falter for a second. "Sir, if something isn't done… well I don't know what'd happen but I can guarantee it won't be good. If Lee's not careful he's going to get himself killed. I'm sorry to be so blunt, sir, but he's behaving erratically and I'm worried he'll get into a situation that can only end badly."
Bill had been ready to accept his words from shortly into his speech but by the end of his words he'd wanted; and needed; to keep his son away from everything and protect him from it all. However, he knew Lee would be anything but receptive to that concept. He sighed as he realized he was going to have to intervene. "I knew Lee was stressed before he left for Pegasus but I didn't know their issues were still affecting things this badly. I was hoping some time apart would improve things." Apart from that one incidence during the briefing to Admiral Cain he thought they'd managed to keep tension between them out of their responsibilities to the fleet. It now sounded as if it'd gone past that, so he'd have put an end to it, even though he knew he'd get no thanks for doing so. He lifted the wireless handset and asked CIC to request the presence of Captains Thrace and Adama in his office at 1400 hours. He put down the handset and turned to face Helo again. "I'll speak to them. I'm not sure it'll do any good, but I'll try anyway." He looked at his watch; it was more than an hour before they'd arrive. "You should get back to Pegasus and don't worry I won't tell them it was you who brought this to my attention." Helo nodded and left the room, relieved he'd at least tried to do something to help his two friends. He just hoped they never found out what he'd done.
Bill sat down and prepared himself for what was about to happen. He didn't know the details of what they'd been through… yet, but he knew he wouldn't like it. He remembered the conversation he'd had with Lee shortly after they'd been rescued from the Cylons. The words Lee had used still rang in his head. 'We've been through some things over the last few days that no one should have to go through.'
He was so deep in contemplation he only broke from his thoughts when there was a knock on the door. He glanced at his watch again and was startled to realize it was almost 1400 hours. That meant the person at his door was either Kara or Lee. He wasn't sure which one he hoped was here first. He took a deep breath and took off his glasses. "Enter." The door opened and revealed his son, who came into the room hesitantly.
"You wanted to see me, Admiral?"
He looked at his son and saw he looked pale and the stress he was feeling was evident in the way he was standing. He could clearly see how accurate Karl had been and knew in his heart that this conversation was way overdue. "Yes I did, Lee. Please take a seat." Lee warily did as asked. "We're just waiting for someone else." A look of worry crossed his son's face but he said nothing else. It was only a couple more minutes before there was another knock at the door. Bill was unsure whether he was relieved she was finally here or worried about what it was he'd just set in motion. It was too late now though, there was no going back. "Come in."
"I was told you asked to see me…" Kara entered the room and stopped talking as she saw Lee already in the room. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were busy, I'll come back later."
"Sit down, Kara." The tone he used was enough to convince her she couldn't escape. He paused as she also reluctantly took a seat. Bill couldn't help but notice tension had suddenly made its appearance as the fourth occupant of the room. Certainly neither of them could bring themselves to look at him or each other. "I asked to see both you and Lee. I thought it was time we went through the details of the events on Kobol." Both of them looked at him sharply before swiftly resuming their previous positions, looking intently at the floor. Bill swallowed, taken aback by the heat in both their glares. 'Okay… so I'm going to have to tread carefully here. They obviously don't want to talk about this.' He needed to do something to try and break the tension. "Would either of you like a drink?" They both nodded so he poured the three of them a drink. After handing the two of them their glasses he went back to get his glass. Just as he was about to walk back to his chair he reached for the bottle, grabbing it to take with him. He seemed to think they'd need it.
The minutes stretched between the three of them as Bill watched them cherish the glasses they held. They were both still not looking at him. He knew this wouldn't be easy but he hadn't expected to get this much resistance. At least they appeared to be agreeing in this regard. He supposed he could count that as a small victory; a very small one. Once more he studied the two people before him. Lee had closed himself off completely and was refusing to look at anything other than the floor and Kara; well, she was swilling her glass and watching the contents slosh around. She wiped at her face and Bill pretended not to notice. He sat and watched them longer, waiting for one of them to break the silence. Kara's leg started to twitch, causing her glass to splash its contents with each jostle.
Kara suddenly stood and moved towards the door. "I can't do this. I can't be here." Bill knew he needed to do something, the situation was spiraling out of his control and he needed to rein it back in as soon as he could. It was time to roll the hard six. His son got in before he could open his mouth though. As Kara reached for the handle, Lee finally spoke and it was his words that caused her to stop.
"Running as usual, Kara." The words were stated with little feeling behind them.
The Admiral was unsure exactly how Lee could think this was going to do anything but make the situation worse. He quickly looked at the Captain who was trying so desperately to escape.
She'd spun around to face back into the room once more, "How can you say that? How dare you say that to me?" As she spoke she stalked over to him as he rose from the couch. They stood nose to nose, affecting a standoff between them. The tension in the room increased even further and Bill was concerned he was going to be forced to physically separate them and began to think that maybe having a couple of marines present would be a good idea.
Something caused the entire situation to change and Bill wasn't completely sure he was aware of what exactly happened. Lee reached for Kara pushing her hair away from her face. "You can't keep running from this Kara. Neither of us can. You need to talk about it. We need to tell dad what we went through; what they did." Bill watched as the walls between them started crumbling bit by bit. He saw Lee lean forward and say something to Kara, but he couldn't hear what was said; he just saw the initial effects of the words. He saw Kara nod slightly in response to what he'd said. Bill decided to give them a couple of minutes alone before he tried once more to get them to open up. He turned back to his desk to finish the report he'd been reading before Lieutenant Agathon had come to see him. By the time he returned back to his seat, the two of them were sitting back on the couch; this time though they were sitting closer than they'd been when they first sat down. He picked up his drink again and waited in silence for them to begin. While the atmosphere in the room was now slightly more relaxed than it'd been earlier, you could still cut the tension with a knife. After a couple more minutes of agonizing quiet the silence was eventually broken and their story began; and it blew the Admiral away. Once they'd started, he wished they'd never commenced down the path he'd forced them to start down and that he could go back to imagining what they were going to say; because whatever he'd thought it would be was nowhere near as bad as the actual truth.
What they told him made him angry and frustrated. So many of the things they'd been through were too painful for him to even contemplate. He now realized why they'd struggled so much over the past few months since Kobol and their subsequent eviction from sickbay. He knew why they'd almost torn themselves and each other apart. He just hoped that by telling him about it, it would enable the two of them to deal with it and maybe mend some bridges between the two of them at the same time.
****
Earlier that day…
Lee was still tense from the mission earlier that day when he received the call from Galactica about his impending meeting with the Admiral. He hadn't spoken to his father since the meeting first thing this morning, and he was worried about what he could expect and could feel tension heighten within him. He couldn't help but wonder what had prompted the sudden request. Had word spread about his actions on the Picon Princess? One thing he was certain of, his father was up to something, he just hoped he didn't live to regret going over to see him. Not that he had any real choice in the matter. He checked the time and knew he had some time before he needed to go to the hangar deck and get a Raptor to take him over to Galactica. It was during these few seconds the adrenaline rush from the mission faded away and his body began to succumb to events he'd faced. He looked around his office trying to find something to settle himself before he left but couldn't find anything that held his attention for more than a few seconds; he was just unable to relax as he continued to stress about what was waiting for him. He'd come to the realization since his return to Pegasus that he'd been reckless and was lucky to still be around to see his father. Just thinking about it again; along with the apprehension that had been building since the call just minutes earlier, was enough to send him into panic. He tried to take calming breaths as he felt it swell in his chest but was completely unsuccessful. He sank to his knees on the floor with a hand to his chest as oxygen became a real issue. His eyes began to blur as panic took hold and his lungs fought for every molecule of oxygen it could find.
For close to two minutes he was unaware of is surroundings as he pretty much blacked out and when he came to he felt the weakest he had since he'd left Kobol. He'd somehow managed to gain some calm within him and he dragged himself off the floor, slowly rising to unsteady feet. He leaned heavily on a nearby chair and breathed deeply as his head began to mercifully stop spinning. Glancing at the time he knew he needed to leave if he was going to get to Galactica in time, so he left his office and slowly made his way to the hangar deck.
The ride to Galactica took less time than he'd thought; although he was still too caught up in the myriad of emotions coursing through his mind to be able to enjoy it. They landed on the hangar deck of a place he'd once called home and on a good day still would. Today however was anything but a good day and it currently felt about as much like home as it had the first time he'd arrived on this ship; just before the Decommissioning Ceremony. The crew was as welcoming as they always were but Lee ignored them the same as he'd done the first time he was here. He simply wasn't capable of maintaining small talk with anyone. He walked along the familiar corridors towards CIC and his father's quarters.
He paused as he reached the doorway, nodding at the marines stationed in the corridor outside. Another deep breath was taken before he made himself knock on the door; waiting until hearing his father's response and gaining access. "You wanted to see me, Admiral." He stared at his father as he was offered a seat. The old man was up to something, Lee just needed to work out what it was. He didn't have to wait that long to be given a clue as the mention of another person attending the meeting was brought up. Nothing he'd thought since this started prepared him for the person who entered the room just minutes later though. Kara. He'd completely underestimated his father once again. Immediately he felt the pressure of her presence in the room.
She obviously wasn't expecting to see anyone there other than his father; most certainly not him anyway. She looked as shocked as he was when she saw him in the room and he saw her glance towards the door; as if considering an escape. Something Lee was also seriously contemplating.
His father beckoned her to sit as well and Lee couldn't help but notice that she sat as far from him as she physically could; not that he expected anything less from her. To be honest, he knew he hadn't behaved well over the last few weeks and he couldn't see anything improving the situation between the two of them as a result of this meeting. He knew the Admiral also wouldn't fail to notice the tension between them and Lee had a fairly strong feeling they were about to be called on it. He wasn't wrong. His father had been talking to Kara since she'd entered the room but Lee only really caught his last sentence.
"I thought it was time we went through the details of the events on Kobol."
Lee looked at his father in surprise and knew Kara would be doing the same thing. He was sure neither of them had anticipated this would be what they'd been called to this room for. Once Kara had appeared he was convinced it was about this morning. Kobol was the last thing Lee wanted to discuss and he was fairly sure Kara felt exactly the same. They may not have agreed about much in recent weeks but this was one thing he was sure they would.
Lee eagerly accepted the drink that was offered to him as it gave him the opportunity to put off the conversation just a little more. It wasn't much of a delaying tactic but it worked for him at the moment. He was also relieved to see the bottle being brought over to where they were sitting as well. Lee looked at the drink in his hand, deep in thought as memories of the events his father was so interested in were suddenly clamoring for attention. He was very aware of Kara sitting just as tensely as he was at the other end of the couch from him. He was unable to look at anything other than his glass though; he just wanted to leave the room and never have to face this discussion.
Lee thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye from Kara but was so locked up in his thoughts it didn't really register. He was dimly aware of the sound of Kara tapping her foot as she sat, also deep in thought. Suddenly she rose to her feet and headed towards the door. She obviously was as desperate as Lee was to leave the room.
"I can't do this. I can't be here." She murmured as she reached for the handle and Lee knew he had to stop her. While he didn't want either of them in this situation; forced to relive some of the worst moments of their lives, he knew his father wouldn't let them off the hook for much longer. This meeting was an example of that. So Kara leaving now was something he couldn't let happen. He was pragmatic enough to realize they needed to talk about this and maybe if they did, it would make things easier for both of them. He could only hope so anyway. He wasn't sure he could think about a future where things were worse for him.
He was more than aware the only way to get Kara to stay in this room would be to draw her into an argument, which given the current state of their relationship, shouldn't be too difficult for Lee to achieve. He knew how to press her buttons just as much as she did his and once he'd thought of what to say, he said it with as little feeling behind the words as he could, knowing that would only help his cause. "Running as usual, Kara."
It had the desired effect as she span round to face him. Before he could prepare himself any further for the onslaught, she was right in front of him, having moved from the hatch to inches from him with elegance only she could muster. Ire was flashing from her eyes with as much force as the accusation in the words she spat in his face. "How can you say that? How dare you say that to me?" Even a Cylon wouldn't fail to feel the tension in the room increasing as the minutes passed.
Lee knew he needed to diffuse the situation as quickly as he'd created it. He just needed to be careful he didn't end up being on the receiving end of a fist. He tentatively reached for the ever present strand of hair that always seemed to hang in her face and tenderly moved it away. She stared at him, almost frozen to the spot, which Lee was exceedingly grateful about. "You can't keep running from this Kara. Neither of us can. You need to talk about it. We need to tell dad what we went through; what they did." For a second he didn't think he'd got through to her but he saw tears well in her eyes as the reality of the situation finally set in. Lee leant forward, hoping he wasn't taking his life in his hands, and moved his mouth towards her ear. "We'll get through this together, Kara, just like we did on Kobol. We need to get past what they did." He paused slightly as the urge to kiss her threatened to overwhelm him. He fought down the feeling and took a deep breath before he continued to quietly speak to her; his words barely a murmur. "I'm sorry for the way I've behaved since we got back. I never meant to hurt you; I just couldn't deal with everything we'd been through. I think we need to do this now though; and I'll be there for you all the way. Can you do this for me? For us?" He pulled back and met her eyes. In those few seconds he felt more like himself than he had for weeks and he knew this was long overdue. She held his gaze for a while before having to look at something else. Eventually she gave a tiny nod and then reached for his hand; giving it a small squeeze as their fingers entwined.
Lee had almost forgotten his father was in the room and looked to his right as he remembered just in time before he got swept up in the emotions swirling between him and Kara. He saw the elder man was across the other side of the room, sitting at his desk reading paperwork. Seeing he was otherwise distracted, Lee gave in to the temptation he'd been feeling for the last few minutes and kissed Kara. To his relief she responded with as much emotion. It was only a short kiss but it lifted Lee's spirits and gave him hope that just maybe they'd be able to work things out.
As his father made his way back to his seat, the two of them were sitting side by side, facing the challenge, head on and together. It took the two of them some time to mentally prepare themselves for what they were about to tell the man before them. Lee knew that at the moment his father was totally unaware of what they'd been subjected to. He knew they'd been through something bad and the Cylons had been the cause of their pain but he simply had no idea just how bad it was and now the two of them were going to shatter that illusion. What they were about to say wasn't pretty and it could possibly have bigger implications on the Fleet's actions than any of them in the room could possibly realize as Lee was sure it would change the way his father treated the Cylons in the future. Knowing he was going to have to be the one to start the process, Lee was the first to speak and he watched his father's face as their story unfolded. He saw the shock on his face, which was followed by anger and then dismay. Lee knew just how he was feeling, having gone through the same range of emotions since everything had started. For the first time though he now felt relief, relief they'd finally been able to share the story with someone else. He wondered how Kara was feeling; if it was the same as him. He glanced at her quickly and could see she was rapidly losing control. He placed his arm around her and she relaxed a little against him. Her head fell on his shoulder and he could feel the tell-tale shake of her body against his, confirming to him just how emotional she was. He looked towards his father, hoping he'd understand what he was trying to communicate without making him vocalize it.
Fortunately William Adama appeared to be more in sync with his son than he'd ever been before and gave Lee a small nod. Bill rose to his feet and made his way out of the room, making sure the marines stationed outside left with him. Lee breathed a sigh of relief and then turned his attention once more to the woman held in his arms.
****
Earlier that day…
As soon as she'd returned to Galactica she'd elected to take over from Kat in CAP. She needed to let off some steam and the best way she knew how to do that was to get in a Viper and fly. That had been several hours ago and as she landed her Viper and climbed down from her ship, she was tired but feeling much better. Today had been the first time she'd truly enjoyed being in a Viper in several weeks. It had felt good to be able to get away from everything, all the responsibilities of being CAG; responsibilities she was beginning to resent. It felt good to not have to deal with anyone from the mission earlier and more than anything it gave her an opportunity to not have to think about the situation with Lee. He was beginning to worry her more and more. Every time she saw him, he just made her concern increase and this morning had been downright scary. He was acting so out of character for him and she had no idea how she could help him, not that he would want any help from her. She did her post flight check and handed the clipboard to a nearby deckhand and then started to make her way back to her office. Unfortunately she still had a lot of paperwork to attend to, including a report on the fiasco from earlier.
As she walked away from her Viper she saw Galen Tyrol walking in her direction, "Chief," she said as she nodded at him.
He smiled and then turned towards her. "Captain, CIC called and asked for you to report to Admiral Adama's quarters as soon as you could."
"Thanks Chief." She carried on her exit and made a quick stop in the bunkroom before heading for a shower. She doubted the Admiral would wish to see her when she was all hot and sweaty after CAP. 'At least I don't have to do the paperwork for a while longer', she thought with a smile. Barely twenty minutes later she was making her way towards the Admiral's quarters, completely unaware of what was waiting for her there.
She'd hardly thought about what the meeting could be about but soon had an inkling to its purpose when she entered the room and the first thing she saw was Lee sitting on the other side of the room, looking as uncomfortable as she now felt. She tried, unsuccessfully, to leave the last place on the ship she currently wanted to be but found herself being forced to enter the room further, taking a seat on the couch Lee was also sitting on; making sure she was as far away from him as she could possibly be. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, seeing the tension in his body; tension she knew was mirrored in hers. She looked at him closer and noticed how tired he looked; she could see the strain around his eyes and knew she probably looked much the same as he did. Both of them were suffering from events several hours earlier and from probably even longer ago.
She was shaken from her thoughts by the Admiral speaking, "I thought it was time we went through the details of the events on Kobol."
You could hear a pin drop in the room after he spoke. Kara was sure her shock was written all over her face and she momentarily forgot to breathe as a flashback of being in that room with Leoben flooded her memory. She was now even more certain she wanted to leave the room and get away from this as fast as she could. The offer of alcohol was gratefully accepted; after all, it was currently one of her best friends. However once she received the glass, she was unable to drink it; just the thought of alcohol made her stomach churn; add in the thoughts of Leoben swirling round her head and she was feeling quite nauseous. So she sat there, holding her glass in a vice-like grip. She felt edgier as the minutes passed and her leg started nervously twitching as her tension mounted. Finally the pressure became too much for her to bear. She got to her feet, putting the drink down on the table with such force the contents swished over the side; a resounding thud echoing in its wake as glass met the hard wood surface. As quick as she could she made her way to the exit, she reached for the handle as she reached the hatch, murmuring, "I can't do this. I can't be here." She sincerely hoped they'd both let her leave, but she knew in her heart neither of them would give in that easily.
No one said anything momentarily and then the last person she expected to talk to her spoke. "Running as usual, Kara."
His words hurt her and she reacted on instinct, stalking over to where he stood so only inches separated them. She couldn't believe he'd said that to her and she told him as much. She waited for him to say something; fuming as the seconds passed. She remembered a previous time they'd stood like this and how much he'd hurt her then. She wasn't going to let him hurt her this time.
He stunned her though by doing something she didn't think he'd ever do again. He reached for her, and for a second she thought he was going to caress her face; for a second or two more she hoped he would. She was wrong though. Instead he pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. As his fingers brushed against her ear, she froze and looked at him, wide eyed.
"You can't keep running from this Kara. Neither of us can. You need to talk about it. We need to tell dad what we went through; what they did."
His words made her stomach flip-flop and tears began to form in her eyes. He leant forward and she thought he was going to kiss her. If he did she wasn't sure if she would hit him or kiss him back but was saved from having to make that decision as he spoke quietly into her ear. "We'll get through this together, Kara, just like we did on Kobol. We need to get past what they did." He paused and she continued to wait, knowing he wasn't finished. "I'm sorry for the way I've behaved since we got back. I never meant to hurt you; I just couldn't deal with everything we'd been through. I think we need to do this now though; and I'll be there for you all the way. Can you do this for me? For us?"
As he finished talking he pulled back and she met his eyes; holding his gaze for a long time. As she looked at him she mulled over his words, still shocked by the emotion she'd heard in his voice; something she'd not heard from him in such a long time. He was suddenly back to being the Lee she knew and loved and momentarily it made her forget the way he'd been with her the past few weeks. After a while she just had to look away, the intensity of his eyes becoming too much for her to continue to look at them. She continued to think about what he'd said and then gave him a small nod of agreement. She needed to touch him, she needed to believe the last few minutes were real, that she wasn't just imagining this so she reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his, giving it a small squeeze as she did so.
The next thing she knew Lee was kissing her and she returned it with the same intensity he gave. It was only a short kiss but Kara knew it meant so much more than any words they could say.
Soon however, there was no more delaying. They had to tell the man Kara thought of as a father; the man who was Lee's father; just what the Cylons had done to them and she knew what they were going to say was the last thing he'd be expecting to hear. They both sat on the couch, Kara could feel him sitting close to her and she was reassured by his presence. She couldn't bring herself to start the story though and knew if she waited long enough Lee would begin it for them. He didn't disappoint her and once he'd begun she joined in, reluctantly reliving those few days on the surface of Kobol. She told the Admiral how they'd been captured by the Cylons and led back to the building they'd been found in. They both told how they'd been questioned separately and had been beaten when they failed to give them the information the Cylons so desired – the location of Earth.
Whey they finally got to the part of the tale Kara was dreading the most, Kara paused briefly, unable to continue. She felt Lee's presence beside her and it gave her the strength she needed to carry on, but she couldn't bring herself to look at the man sitting before her. She heard his intake of breath as she described what Leoben did to her and her eyes instinctively rose to meet his, innately relieved to find nothing other than sadness in their depths. After the brief glimpse which did a little to quell the emotions surging around her body, she lowered her eyes unable to look into them any longer. She knew if she did, tears would overwhelm her and the last thing she needed right now was to lose control.
Lee took over once more, going into detail about what the three Leoben's had done to him. She could tell he was as emotional as she was. They may not have been close to each other for the last few weeks but what she knew about Lee was more than most other people in the Fleet ever would; possibly even more than his father did. She winced as he got to the part where his body was cut repeatedly while they rained blows down on him, remembering how she'd felt as she'd been forced to watch.
Once they'd finished Kara realized how drained she felt. Tiredness swept through her and she sagged against Lee feeling his arm around her shoulder. Her body began to shake as the events of the last few hours finally became too much for her to deal with. She was aware of nothing for the next few minutes apart from the feel of Lee's arm around her; the smell of him that was so distinctive through his uniform, a smell that was so HIM she would recognize it anywhere. Suddenly she couldn't remember why she'd given all this up; she was quite obviously frakked in the head.
She realized now it was just the two of them in the room, although she'd failed to notice the Admiral leaving. She lifted her head from his shoulder and turned her face towards his. She could see hesitancy in his eyes and knew she was responsible for putting it there. She took a deep breath and rose to her feet, brushing her hands down the creases in her uniform as she did. The hesitancy was still there when she turned to face him, his blue eyes piercing hers. She held out her hand towards him, hoping he'd understand what she was trying to convey. He also rose to his feet, slipping his hand into hers. She moved towards the hatch, gently tugging on his hand as he initially failed to follow her.
****
The corridors were mercifully empty as they made their way down them. They ended up at the pilots' quarters which were also deserted. Once they entered the room, Kara turned once more to face Lee, pulling him closer to her. She rested her forehead on his chest, closing her eyes as she felt his arms wrap around her back. She felt at peace for the first time since Kobol and she didn't want to let that feeling go. "I can't do this anymore." She felt him tense as she said the words and winced, realizing she'd given him the wrong impression yet again. Raising her head she saw he was looking towards the hatch, probably planning his easiest route of escape. She moved her hand to cup his face, pulling it back to face her. "That's not what I meant, Lee." She continued to look at him, hoping he'd understand.
He didn't. "So, what did you mean?"
There was a bitterness in his tone that hit her hard, the new Lee was beginning to show through again. She bit her lip, trying to work out what she wanted to say; how to say it without it leading to another misunderstanding. She had to do this right; it was too important to her for her to frak it up. "I can't pretend anymore. I can't hide from how I feel; how I feel about you."
He stared at her, blinking several times. When he finally spoke it came out in barely a whisper. "How do you feel?"
She swallowed as she saw the intensity in his eyes. Her mouth was suddenly dry; gods she could do with a drink. Her hand was still on his face and she lowered it slightly so her thumb ran across his lips. "I love you."
He was silent for several seconds as he seemed to be processing what she'd said. He licked his lips, bringing his tongue in contact with her thumb. He pulled the tip of her thumb into his mouth, caressing the end of it further with his tongue. She pulled her hand from his face, only to place her mouth on his lips. It was only the second kiss they'd shared since they'd returned from Kobol and it had all the passion of any before.
Her fingers began to work on his jacket and soon it was slipping from his shoulders. His fingers were feathered through her hair as he continued to kiss her. Her hands then began to explore the defined muscles of his arms and shoulders, taking a step closer to him as she eventually wound her arms around his neck.
The need for oxygen finally became desperate and the kiss ended although they barely broke apart. Their lips were millimeters apart and they stared into each others eyes. They began to move, removing clothing that was suddenly so restrictive. Soon they were down to just their underwear and Lee finally spoke. "Shouldn't we lock the hatch?"
"I don't care. Let them see. They're going to have to get used to it." She kissed him again before he could say anything else. As they kissed they removed the last barriers between them; both physically and mentally.
Lee was stunned beyond belief by what she'd said. She wanted people to know about the two of them being together. To be honest he was still blown away by the fact there was a two of them to even think about. Soon though he became unable to think about anything other than the woman currently residing in his arms. He swept her up further into his arms so that her feet were lifted off the floor; enabling her to wrap her legs around his waist.
He lowered himself to the edge of her bunk; balancing her on his lap. He pulled her closer to him, feeling the soft skin of her rear held within his hands as he pressed her against him. He continued to kiss her, pressing his lips against her neck and shoulder. She gasped as he sucked hard on her skin. His name fell from her lips and he smiled against her skin. "I love you too, Kara," was finally said by Lee as he entered her. Holding his breath he felt her constricting around him and he raised his head to look at her face. Her mouth had dropped open and she was breathing deeply. Her eyes were closed but opened as he brought his hand up to her cheek. For several seconds they stared into each others eyes; communicating more in that small amount of time than they'd done in the previous few weeks.
They kissed once more and began to move as the kiss lengthened. Neither of them were in a rush; both eager to maintain this for as long as they could. It wasn't just sex to them; or a quick frak. What they were experiencing was so much more than that. It was almost as if they were trying to prove to each other just how much they felt.
Lee broke the kiss and moved his mouth slowly across her face, kissing each new part he met. She moaned slightly as he kissed a particularly sensitive spot so he ran his tongue over the spot again before going back to caressing it again with his lips. Then he blew tenderly on the same spot and she shivered, sighing as she did so. Their pace sped slightly as the pressure within them increased until they both reached their peak simultaneously and cried out.
As both calmed Lee pulled them both so they were now lying on Kara's bunk. Both were tired as the last few hours finally caught up with them and Kara snuggled into him as sleep gradually overwhelmed her. Lee was awake for several minutes more as he looked at her lying so innocently in his arms. He couldn't believe how the last few hours had changed things so drastically between them. If he'd known that the telling of those events would've led to this; he would have considered this as an option instead of the path he chose.
The temperature in the room was chilly and the last thing Lee did before succumbing to the tiredness he'd been fighting for the last few minutes was to pull a blanket over the two of them and pulling her closer to him; causing her to smile in her sleep. This was the last thing Lee saw before he also closed his eyes and slept.
TBC
A/N2: Hope you liked it. Please let me know. Just an epilogue to tie up loose ends to go.