Chapter 21: I Think It's Off Now
It was Friday morning. The day neither Arnold nor Helga had been able to take their minds off the entire week. After shutting off the alarm, Arnold turned over, hesitant to wake his wife. What's going to happen tonight? He thought to himself.
Before he could shake her, she rolled over. Seeing him hover over him, she began to rub her eyes. "Morning football head."
"Morning Helga. Ready for work?" he asked.
"Pttss...do I have a choice?" she said wittingly, while watching him scratch his head.
The two then stood up to grab their clothes, with only one thing on their minds.
Making it into the kitchen, Helga sat down with her cereal, as she listened to Arnold say "Well, tonight's the night. Are you going to be okay?"
"Pttss...you're the one who can't stop tapping their foot against the floor." she pointed out, while seeing him take notice of her accusation.
"Oh uh right. Listen, I was thinking after you fell asleep last night." he began, before she interrupted.
"You mean after you put me to sleep with that full stomach."
"That's an odd way to say thank you, but yes. I was thinking, If Matt or Amanda do try anything tonight, maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."
Cocking her brow at him, she asked "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, if one of them hits on us, all we have to do is not retaliate. Then we could threaten to press sexual harassment charges. I don't think he would go through with suing us for the punch if he realized we could just as easily sue him." Arnold pointed out.
Pushing her bowl aside, Helga replied "So, Mr. Goody Two Shoes is showing his dark side."
Rolling his eyes at her remark, he replied "You know that's not what I'm doing."
"Sure it's not. Well, I'm off to work. Keep that dirty mind of yours under control football head." she smirked, while he threw his face in his hands.
On Arnold's way out, Jason could see something was troubling him. "Is everything okay Arnold?"
"Well, I'm guessing Mark told you about me and Helga running into Matt on Sunday, along with another person we know from high school." Arnold sighed.
"Yeah, he did mention it to me. He said he told Helga all you two can do is go to dinner tonight and carry things on as is, since he still has the right to sue until the summer is over." Jason replied.
"Well, she and I have spent the week worrying about what type of tricks they may try to pull to win won of us over tonight. Then I told her this morning, it may not be so bad if they did." he explained, while receiving a confused look from Jason.
"Why is that?"
"If one of them hits on us, we have the right to press sexual assault charges, as long as we don't hit them back this time. Then they may be willing to leave us alone." Arnold replied, while Jason gave a suspicious look.
"I guess that could work. I wouldn't encourage trying to make it happen though. That would just give them another opportunity to say you were messing with them." Jason warned, while Arnold nodded his head in agreement.
Meanwhile, Helga had made it to Mark's office, wondering what they would be going over that day. "Hey Mark. What's up?"
"I'm just reviewing some things for a few other cases I've been working on. How are you today?"
"Umm not bad." she replied, sitting down beside him.
"Are you and Arnold ready for dinner tonight?" Mark asked, setting aside his things.
"Well, funny thing about that…" she began, watching Mark give her his full attention.
"What is it?"
"Arnold had this crazy idea that if one of them hits on us tonight, we could press sexual harassment charges against them. That way, they'd leave us alone, then we could all go back to our normal freakin' lives. That is, if we didn't hit them back." she explained.
Mark remained quiet a moment, until he at last said "I hope you're not planning to 'encourage' them to make any inappropriate moves toward the two of you. If so, you certainly wouldn't have the right to press charges against them."
"Pttss...don't look at me. It was football head's idea!" she scowled, crossing her arms.
Meanwhile, Arnold was sitting in Dr. Bliss' office with her, awaiting his next patient. When the door opened, he turned to see Hilda. A smile came to his face, forgetting she would be back the next week.
"Hello Hilda! How have you been?"
"Pttss...like you care?" she scoffed, taking a seat on the couch.
"I do care. That's why I'm here." Arnold assured her.
"Whatever. Let's get this over with. I've got tickets to wrestlemania this afternoon." Hilda snapped.
Not feeling offended by her attitude, Arnold replied "My wife would be so jealous."
Hilda's eyes widened at the comfortability he felt towards her negative behavior. "Uhhh why?"
Setting his notepad aside, he replied "I told you she likes sports and outdoor activities. All she ever used to care about doing on our holidays during the school year was see wrestlemania events."
"She did?" Hilda asked cautiously, trying not to act like she cared.
Nodding his head, Arnold said "It wasn't because she didn't like feminine activities that it took us awhile to be together. It was because she was too scared to tell me how she felt."
An awkward silence came about until Arnold added "Part of it was my fault too. When she did tell me, I wasn't ready for the news. We both decided for a while to pretend nothing happened. You shouldn't let that stop you from showing people who you really are though."
Seeing a weak smile form on her face, Arnold asked "Is there someone you like in your class?"
Hilda's eyes immediately widened as she replied "What? Are you crazy? Why would you think that?"
Smiling at her once again, Arnold replied "Like I said, just because you act tough doesn't mean you don't have a soft side."
Hilda froze, not knowing what to say until her thoughts were interrupted by "Well, that's all the time we have for today Hilda." Dr. Bliss said.
Hilda got up from her seat and headed for the door. Arnold stopped her to say "It was really nice to see you again Hilda."
Rubbing her neck, she replied "Uhh yeah. See you next time."
As Arnold was finishing up his session, Helga was rapping up her day with Mark. "Well, have a good weekend Mark."
"Be careful at dinner tonight Helga. Don't do anything unnecessary, and if the worst should happen, don't retaliate." Mark warned her.
"I gotcha. See ya next week." she waved, heading out the door.
Making it home, she came to find Arnold already sitting on the couch. "Since when do you get home before me, hairboy?" she scoffed.
"I decided not to wait around for Jason after work. Hopefully he won't be too upset with me. I've just had a lot on my mind."
"Pttss...you and me both." she scoffed.
"Where are you going?" he asked, seeing her head for the bedroom.
"To change my clothes. Doi!"
"We're going to Chez Pierre for dinner. Don't change into your sweatpants and tank top." he laughed, receiving a glare from her.
"I think I can dress myself Arnoldo. Why don't you just worry about how you plan on getting hit on tonight." she smirked.
"Whatever you say Helga." he sighed.
After an hour had passed of eyeing the clock, Arnold finally said "Well, I guess we can get going."
Not wanting to go through with it, Helga replied "Yeah, let's get this over with."
Walking down the street holding hands, Helga could feel the sweat forming on Arnold's. "Sheesh football head! I haven't felt you like this since our wedding day!"
"I haven't been this nervous since our wedding day." he replied, rubbing his neck.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."she replied rolling her eyes.
Squeezing her hand tight, he said "I know! I'm sorry! I just can't stand the thought of either of them touching us. If they do though, it may be the only way to get them to back off for good. I don't know how I could keep myself from punching Matt if I saw him try to feel you up again though. You're my wife now!" he exclaimed, while Helga couldn't help but point out they were at the restaurant.
"Well, I don't see them anywhere. Maybe someone suckerpunched him for us." Helga smirked.
"We can only hope." Arnold sighed, until they turned to see two unwanted faces approaching them.
"Hello Arnold, Helga. You two are looking just ever so lovely tonight." Amanda said, standing beside Matt.
Rolling her eyes, Helga replied "Yeah, and you're sounding just ever so annoying as usual."
Arnold put his arm around Helga, hoping not to let her get too worked up.
"So, this should be a fun evening. Just the four of us." Matt said, not being able to take his eyes off Helga.
The four of them walked inside to see the restaurant wasn't too crowded. "Can we get a table for four please?" Matt requested.
"Right this way sir." the host replied, while Arnold and Helga hoped the night would pass quickly.
As the four sat, Matt wasted no time getting to the point. "Well, I wanted to apologize for what happened last year. Helga there was no excuse for my behavior."
"If that's the way you really feel, why can you still not take your eyes off my chest?" she scowled.
Laughing at her remark, Amanda jumped in "It's true Helga, we feel just 'oh so terrible.'"
Cocking her brow, Helga asked "What do you mean we? You didn't feel me up?"
"No, but I did try to steal Arnold from you." Amanda winked, making him feel uncomfortable.
"Alright, alright. Let's just get to the point. Is this dinner really an apology, or are you planning some diabolical scheme to get in our pants?" Helga scowled, while Arnold's eyes widened with fear.
"Why whatever do you mean Helga?" Amanda asked, knowing where she was going with this.
"Don't give me that sister! You like Arnold, Matt likes me, Arnold and I despise the two of you. Are you really sorry for hitting on us after I made Matt's face meet my fist, or are you just looking to push this thing as far as it'll go?" she scowled.
After seeing Helga's need to have all the cards laid on the table, Arnold wasn't sure about the plan to give in to their desires.
The waitress then came by with their menus and asked for their drink orders. "Hello everyone. What can I get you all to drink tonight?"
"Spring water for all of us sounds just oh so perfect." Amanda said, watching the waitress walk away.
Rolling her eyes at the annoying redhead, Helga listened to her say "I'm afraid you've got it oh so wrong Helga. Not only do Matt and I feel terrible about what happened, but we're together now."
Arnold gave Matt a stunned look, while Helga crossed her arms and cocked her brow at Amanda. "You expect me to believe you two invited us to dinner just to tell us you hooked up weeks before the deadline to sue Matt approaches?"
"After realizing I had no chance with you Arnold, and Arnie dumped me, I went to visit Matt." Amanda began as Helga butted in.
"Don't worry, you were only her third choice."
Seeing Matt nod his head in agreement, Arnold replied "Well, as long as you two are happy, and not angry with us, I guess we can drop the lawsuit?"
"I never intended to sue you?" Matt questioned, sending Helga an enticing look.
Arnold sat there, not knowing what to believe. Even if that was true, it didn't change the fact that he still had the right to do it.
The waitress then came back to pick up their orders. Helga seemed to be the only one who knew anything about the menu. After ordering for them, the waitress once again left.
"So, if you never planned to retaliate, why couldn't you just call or email us to apologize? Why did you feel this fancy dinner was necessary? I mean for cripes sake! I destroyed your vision, now you're letting us destroy your bank account?" Helga insisted on knowing.
Arnold at last felt the need to butt in. "Helga, let's just let bygones be bygones. If they want to apologize this way, then let them do it. They said they're sorry for hitting on us. We're sorry for punching you Matt. Now can we please just go back to our normal lives?"
Seeing the smiles hadn't left their enemies facies, Helga scoffed "Fine! You two better watch your backs!"
After dinner was finished, they each ordered a piece of chocolate mousse cake similar to that from Chez Paris.
Helga once again couldn't favor manners over her appetite. When she finished her cake, Matt looked over at her. "Helga, you've got some chocolate around your lips."
Before Arnold could say anything, Matt reached over to wipe it off for her. Arnold's eyes began to widen watching this, while Helga could feel herself blushing intensely.
"Uhh thanks. I'm sure it's off now." she insisted.
"No, not quite." he smiled, continuing to wipe her face until Arnold grabbed his wrist.
Raising an eyebrow, Matt asked "What's the problem?"
Realizing his over-reaction, Arnold replied "Uhh it's just, you don't have to worry about that. I think it's off now."
"No, I'm ever so certain she still has some on there." Amanda pointed, while Helga's face remained red.
"Crimity! I'll just go rinse it in the sink! Sheesh!" she exclaimed.
Arnold sat there, knowing then the two had to be up to something. Why would Amanda not care that Matt did that for Helga? Why didn't Matt just tell Helga to wipe her face?
When Helga came back from the restroom, she sat down and scoffed "There. Satisfied?"
Looking at her with an intensive stare, Matt replied "Very much so."
Arnold began to clench his fists with fury. As he gritted his teeth in a way Helga would normally do, they heard the waitress appear with the check.
"Here you all are. Enjoy the rest of your night!"
Matt then picked it up, while Arnold dragged Helga out the door. "Before you two go, would you like to do something next week?" Amanda asked.
Rolling his eyes, holding onto Helga, Arnold replied "Thanks, but I think we're busy."
"I'm ever so certain we won't take no for an answer!" Amanda insisted, smiling at him.
Sighing intensely, Arnold said "Whatever. Let's just go Helga!"
Helga was then dragged back to the apartment, as Arnold swung open the door. Receiving the silent treatment from him, she said "Well, so much for your 'let them do whatever they want to us' plan."
Arnold then went to the bedroom, sitting on the bed, holding his face with his hands.
"Well, I don't know what those two are up two, but we're definitely riding this thing to the end." Helga insisted. After sitting down beside him, he rolled on top to kiss her. She felt him lick around the edges of her lips intensely. After he released her lips, she said to him "Between the work the three of you put into it, I'm pretty sure my face is clean now."
"I didn't like seeing him do it. I wanted to punch him right then and there." Arnold insisted, squeezing her shoulders tight.
"Crimity football head! We don't need another lawsuit!" she scowled.
"Even so, I don't want anyone touching you. Even if I have to go to jail for it." he said, pressing his nose against hers.
"If you go to jail, it would make it pretty easy for another guy to touch me." she smirked, as he rolled his eyes at her.
"Whatever you say Helga. Good night."