Chapter 21

I couldn't believe what she was really doing. I couldn't believe she was able to pretend things this time, because this time it was different.

He was gone and I was here instead. I know she hadn't forgotten me. I could see it hidden in her eyes while she was trying to ignore me, I could see it in her eyes when tears were streaming down her face telling me the truth. I was mirrored in her wet and dark eyes, telling me what to do.

I reached for her face with both my hands and I kissed her tears away with my lips.

I told her not to play the same game again.

I told her to be strong, with me, for me.

And I told her I would be there.

I pleaded and I cried. If somebody would see me I know they would think I'm crazy.

But I really am crazy. I am crazy for her.

If my colleagues would see me they would know I've lost my dignity.

Yes, I've already lost it but I don't mind.

I would leave my life to assure her survival.

"Please… Jo… don't do that… talk to me… you need to talk to me. Don't you dare to do that. Don't you dare to do that to me." I was almost screaming these words into her face as I really forced her to look at me. Through her glassy eyes she tried not to look into my eyes. And I cried even harder. I touched her, and pressed her face even more with my small fingers. I forced her to look at me with my lips pressed hard on hers.

We spent a few minutes in this position, my lips searching for a permission to be with her, to love her. It was just a symbolic move that made me doing this. And finally she kissed me back, a short kiss with only our lips pressed on each other, but full of meaning.

But even I knew she was back I cried silent tears while she was screaming. Screaming's full of pain.

"I am scared." Was all she said with her voice low, breaking my heart. I kissed her forehead, before I laid down beside her, pulling her into my embrace.

"You don't need to be scared. Joey, he is gone and I will stay with you. Forever. We will get everything behind us. We will start a new life."

I whispered into her ears, while she shivered and cried.

"No one will hurt you again, this is what I promise."

I said words of hope, and I kissed her tears away, I thought she was still scared of her brother and now, knowing what would happen, I wish I would have listened to her.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

When I was a little girl my mother was coming into my room every evening before I went to sleep. Every time she sat down on the edge of my bed, kissing my forehead and telling me "Good night" I asked her every single day to tell me a good – night – story, because I got addicted to them once she started doing this after I didn't go to bed. It was her way to make me sleep. Each story were about the princess and her prince, about white horses and black wolves, about fairies, nymphs and gremlins. But on one night my mother decided to take me to a different place…

"Good night, honey. Sleep well and dream something beautiful!" The older woman said, grinning as the little girl furrowed her brow in anger and disappointment.

"Mo – mmy!" She said out loud in a judging voice which made her mother grin even more.

"Yes darling?"

"Mo - mmy! You forgot my good – night – story!"

"What do you mean?"

"Mom, don't think I'm that stupid! I'm 5 years old! Tell me my story!" she insisted.

It's crazy I really remember every single detail of this night. I was so young, and there have been so many of these evenings with my mom, telling me exciting and beautiful stories. But this time it was pretty different. It was a story I kept in mind for many years and I never forget about it. Never.

"Okay, sweetheart… You need to listen to me, okay? Because this is not a normal story, you understand?" She nodded, her blanket grumbled in her small fingers.

"Once upon a time there were a lot of people on this planet like today. But they were different! Once they had two head, four legs and four arms. Like that, they lived together…"

"Did they play like I do with Michael and Jordan?"

"Yes, they did. But you know they weren't only playing. Some of them did awful things and they made one of the gods very very angry."

"What have they done, Mommy?"

"They were very awful to their amazing parents!"

"Mo- mmy! Don't lie to me!" She said seriously as she recognized the smile on her mother's face who tickled her then before continuing her story.

"Well, to be honest I don't know. But they were not following the rules and that made the gods very very mad."

"What happened then?"

"They send thunderbolts down to earth and they made the worst thing a god could do."

"What Mommy? What have they done?"

"They separated the people. They sent thunderbolts down to earth to separate them from each other. From now on they had only one head, two legs and two arms."

"But mo-mmy, they look like we are looking! Why should that be something terrible?"

"That's a good question, sweetheart. You know, not only their bodies were separated in two, their souls were too. Because of that one single person wasn't completely anymore. From now on they spent their whole life searching for their second part – for their soul mates."

"And have they found each other?" The little girl asked while her mother continued stroking her long brown hair.

"I don't know, Charlie. But they were trying and they are still trying to complete their soul and their life."

"Mo-mmy… Is that love?" She laughed when she heard her 5 years old daughter asking something like this. She was a small girl, but sometimes she felt like her daughter had a feeling for important things, like she knew even more.

"Yes, sweetheart. That's love. Someday you will find the love of your life, you will know it, and you will feel it. You will know it when you found your second part, and then don't let her go."

Like my mother told me once, I realize now she was right.

It has been 4 days now.

4 days of snapping, empty glances, silence, scariness, horror and tears.

4 days of holding and comforting her, of staying at her side and holding her hand.

4 days of not really sleeping, waking up at night, reaching out for her when she was screaming.

Just 4 days which felt like ages we went through the desert. But we went through this together and even I know it was like hell; even I realized it would stay like this a long time from now on until her inner wounds would be healing completely, I knew I would never leave her side.

Only 1 week was left and we could leave this place to rehab at another place.

I realized she is my second part.

I realized she is the rest of my soul.

I realized I want her to be mine and I realized it by holding her, stroking her face and her hair, by kissing her lips and telling words of tenderness, hoping and believing.

"We will get through this, Joey. I am here and I ever will be. I ever will be." I told her every night while she was sobbing into my embrace.

AN: I know… I know… it is just a short chapter. But it's just a Chapter before a long and nerve racking one is following.

Thanks to my reviewers, you are keeping me going on.

-Sun