Sirius Tries to Find a Girlfriend
"I think I need a girlfriend," Sirius randomly decided. He went outside and walked down the street looking for a girl to go out with him. A young woman walked by and Sirius said, "Hello there. Would you like to be my girlfriend?"
"I don't even know you, you creep!" the woman yelled. She hit Sirius with her purse and ran away.
Completely undeterred, Sirius decided to try again with another girl. "Hello. Will you be my girlfriend?"
"No," she replied.
"You think Will Turner is hotter, don't you?" he said with a frown. "You're lucky I'm not the jealous type!"
The girl looked freaked out and walked away, and soon Sirius approached yet another young woman. "Would you like to go out with me? My name is Sirius Black. I like to watch DVDs, go for walks outside, and drink tea."
The woman slapped him. "Excuse me! I'm married!" She walked away in a huff.
"This isn't working out the way I hoped," said Sirius. He continued to walk down the street, however, in hopes of finding someone who would accept his offer. He spotted a woman with short blonde hair and lilac robes and approached her. "Hello, miss. Care to go out with me?"
The woman wearing lilac spun around and Sirius felt horribly embarrassed, for it was none other than Gilderoy Lockhart. "Who are you?" Lockhart asked. "Who am I? Where are we anyway, mister?"
"Never mind," Sirius said hastily. He got away from Lockhart and hurried down the street until he reached his house. "That was a terrifying experience. Maybe I'm just not cut out to have a girlfriend."
"SIRIUS!"
Sirius shuddered with utmost horror. Vivian Cauldronsocks was running towards him at full speed, calling his name over and over. "I will be your girlfriend, my most darling Sirius!"
"Oh dear," said Sirius. He ran inside the house, slammed the door right in Vivian's face, and locked it securely. "That's the last time I try to pick up random strangers."