I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, SOOOOOOO sorry that I haven't updated in like forever. I didn't have the time... or my kindle... but anyway here goes nothing...
Mia
"No, Tyler. I'm sorry. But I kinda like someone else."
"oh. Ok."
He blushes and looks away. I hope I didn't hurt him. I check my watch. It's past midnight. I should leave. But something about Zach, about me not wanting to leave him alone with Laura, and the fact that he somehow, inexplicably, draws me in. I look over to where him, Laura, Andrea, and a few others are conversing and something inside me just lays down and dies. He's way out of my league. I will never be part of his world the way Laura and Andrea are. It's a good thing Tris and Christina come over when they do because I don't think I can bear it anymore. They walk me back to the dorm in silence. I curl up on my bunk and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, too heartsick to do anything else.
The Next Day
I am up with the sun, unable to sleep out of nervousness. What if I failed initiation? What if Zach failed initiation? I have no idea what life would be like without him. I was up all night, reliving the party, how he and Laura were french kissing, and I was standing in the corner watching...
Get a grip, I tell myself. Get over him. He will never be yours. But I can't, somehow I just can't...
I have to run, to go somewhere. Sarah rolls over and mutters when I hit my head on her bunk but otherwise everything is quiet. I go to an empty, dark hallway and cry my heart out. And this is where Zach and Laura and Andrea and Tyler find me maybe half an hour later, my tears gone after i have rinsed my puffy eyes in the drinking fountain.
"I was wondering where you went, they're announcing the rankings in 20 minutes," Tyler says. I give him my best wolf stare. I don't trust anybody right now. Andrea looks me up and down, smirking and nudging Laura when she sees my ginormous black t-shirt and tattered shorts. Ugh. NOT today. I can deal with them on normal days but this is NOT a normal day. And I am SO through with them.
"Look at what the Erudite midget is wearing. UGH. I wouldn't be caught dead in that." says Andrea. No she wouldn't. I know for a fact that she dresses in tight, skimpy clothes that show off her new tattoo.
"Andrea, if I were you I wouldn't be bugging my fellow initiates about their fashion choices. I would be biting my nails and worrying that i'm not good enough to pass initiation. Now GET LOST before I shove your nose up into your brain." I'll do it, too, if she doesn't leave.
"Hey, now," Zach says, "I don't think-"
But before I can finish my sentence Andrea makes a dive at me and I raise my fist to punch her. But before anything can happen Tyler grabs her and pulls her back. Zach grabs my hand and gently tugs me toward him. If it were anyone else I would pull away and go hit Andrea but this is Zach. Suddenly I'm too aware of my surroundings and how warm Zach's skin is...
'Hey, Mia, calm down, I'm taking you over to the dining hall, ok?" says Zach. "And YOU, Andrea- just lay off her alright? can't you see she's in enough pain already?"
How could he tell? I washed way any sign of my tears. And I'm a VERY good actress. He takes my hand and pulls me in the opposite direction of the dining hall. Where are we going?
Ok so I have a really long list of excuses for the fact that I basically abandoned my fan fiction account but the three real reasons are:
1. My parents stole my kindle
2. I was on google plus
3. I was daydreaming about... uhm... well I'm not saying. My lips are sealed. Sorry!
So any way PLEASE forgive me, the next chapter should be out soon.