**Look After You, The Fray**
Ray paced up and down the hospital corridor. It had been two hours since he'd brought Ethan in and all the doctor had said was that he was definitely not well and would need observation to diagnose. Ethan was fitfully sleeping in an exam bed as they awaited their turn with the portable ultrasound. The place had such an eerie feel that he was creeped out just standing here. Most of the complex had not reopened given that there was neither the staff or the number of patients to justify it. So while the area he was in was brightly lit, the ends of the corridors faded into pitch black.
Every time he heard the outer doors open he crept to the corner of the hallway to see who it was. It was the middle of the night so he didn't know who he expected to see. Commander Slattery was definitely not it.
"Commander Slattery! What can we do for you?" Bertrise apparently worked the front desk several nights a week. It had been a relief to see a familiar face when they first came in. Now he watched as she grabbed a phone and called someone in response to whatever Slattery had said. A few minutes later a young woman with flaming red hair waddled through the door on the arm of Sergeant Simpson-Slattery.
"Bertrise help! They are here!" Ray had never imagined Slattery with that note of panic in his voice. The red head waved him and Garth off. That must be Emma's infamous big sister Riley. He'd never actually met her. Other than the fact that she was resting one hand on her obviously pregnant belly, she seemed perfectly calm while talking to Bertrise, not at all the impatient, overbearing, shrew her sister made her out to be. Bertrise handed over a clipboard full of forms and Ray saw Simpson-Slattery cringe. He knew the feeling of paperwork despair. He'd filled out a similar clipboard a few hours ago. Although in his case he'd had to leave so many of the questions blank he could hardly call it complete.
He looked back toward the sleeping boy. Ethan's cheeks were still flushed and he occasionally moaned and held his belly. The doctor had listed a few possibilities from indigestion to an infected appendix so fast that Ray ended up just nodding along and hoping he could trust the man to figure it out. For now he was on some IV fluids and they were monitoring him. To be honest, Ray had developed a sick knot in his stomach too. Ethan had said he felt a little weird yesterday but Ray had chalked it up to the busy night before at the party. Today he had hardly eaten anything and by dinner he was saying his stomach hurt. Figuring it was the beginning of the same virus that had kept Kat in her room the day before, he had put the boy to bed early. When Gabe woke Ray up at 1 AM to tell him that Ethan was moaning in his sleep, he had been terrified. What if the kid had the Red Flu even though he'd had the cure? What if he got sick and died? Ray's mind had played horrible scenarios over and over through the entire drive to the hospital and the initial exam. He'd calmed down a little bit after the doctor told him he didn't believe the problem was urgent enough to warrant panic. But now as he waited for their 7 AM ultrasound appointment the anxiety had clawed its way back in. Ray glanced at the clock on the wall. Still three hours to go before then. The two nurses checking in were very reassuring, but Ray still couldn't dare sleep himself.
As he watched, Riley grabbed her belly and doubled over with a groan. When Bertrise tried to get her to sit in a wheelchair she shook her head. Even all the way across the room he could hear her. "For God sakes Garth don't just stand there. Fill out the damn forms so we can get these babies born!" That sounded more like the woman Emma had described.
Garth split the stack of papers in half and handed a few to the Commander. Ray had to admire his quick thinking. Especially when he himself had spent what felt like five minutes trying to remember Ethan's last name. In the end he'd given up and put down his own, deciding that it didn't really matter anymore anyway.
He felt a buzz in the pocket of his hoodie. Desmadre! What if another one of the kids had become sick? He flattened himself against the wall, shame at being caught eavesdropping waring with surprise as he saw Kat's freckles and green eyes fill his screen. Swiping over the green symbol he answered. "Kat?"
"Ray! Oh thank God you're awake. I think the car has been stolen!" There was an echo to her voice. "Why would somebody steal our car? There are so many better cars to pick from."
Relief warred with alarm. What the heck was she doing in the parking garage at 0400? "No one stole the car."
She huffed loudly and he could just imagine her standing with her hand on her hip and a scowl on her perfect pink lips. "Well I'm standing right where I parked it and.."
"I have the car Kathleen! I had to take Ethan to the hospital." She'd pleaded with the little boy to have a little supper so she knew all about his stomach. "It's 4 AM. It's not safe to be out there alone." He slumped into one of the cold plastic chairs. "Is everything ok?" New panic scenarios began attacking from the recesses of his mind.
"Yes, I was going to give Mrs. Slattery and Emma a ride to the hospital. The twins are coming! What about Ethan, is he OK?"
"Yes, I guess. I'll tell you about it when you get here. Are they with you now?" He didn't like the idea of her wandering around outside of the hotel alone. Even with the reduced population, there were still crazies around.
"Yeah all three of us are standing here trying to figure out what to do. Christine doesn't want to miss the birth, even if Riley insists she doesn't need to be there." Ray ran through the list of people he knew who had cars.
"Don't worry. They're still filling out paperwork. Listen, I think I know who can get you here. Just go wait in the lobby. I think she'll be driving a blue Honda."
They hung up and he quickly called Debbie Foster and filled her in. She was thrilled to be able to help but fuck, está cabrón!. Ray shuffled back in the room and took a seat by the bed, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the wall as he waited for something to change. He'd finally thought they were getting things together and now it felt like everything was unraveling at once. Plus, being in the hospital was so much harder than he'd ever imagined it would be. Listening with half an ear to the chatter at the nurse's station down the hall reminded him so much of his mother joking around with her friends. These women, working long hours and facing people who were dying from car accidents and heart attacks and everything else, despite having beat the odds and survived the Red Flu, seemed to really believe the optimistic smiles they put on every time they went into a patient's room. That had been his mother in a nutshell. Always smiling even though he knew the loss of his father had changed her life in so many negative ways.
Somehow it reminded him of the kids' attitudes. Ironically Ethan was one of the only ones who hadn't adopted an outward appearance of living for the good times. He knew they all hoped a parent or grandparent or someone they had known before would show up. They had left as much information as they could at the camp before the first time they left but now that they had been through so many places, how would someone find them even if they were looking? Dios, who was he kidding thinking he could take them on? It wasn't fair to them to deny them a good parent, someone who really knew how to do this. He squeezed his eyes to keep the tears from leaking out and his heart flipped a little in the chest. He'd been building toward this decision for a long time but he hated it. Every selfish cell in his body hated it with a heavy guilt that made him want to climb in that bed and pull the covers over his head.
A commotion at the outer door broke him out of his pity session and he hauled himself back out of the chair. He meant to shut the door to keep it quiet for Ethan to sleep but then he recognized Kat's voice. "Where are they?" He rounded the corner to see her give Riley Slattery a quick thumbs up. "Can't wait to see those babies but I have to go. Where are they Bertrise?"
Bertrise pointed toward Ray and Kat met his eyes. Her hair flopped in a messy half ponytail and she wore just a cami with her baggy gray sweats and old jacket. "Ethan? How is he?" She launched herself into his arms and he realized she was shaking from head to toe.
"He's ok, for now. The doctor hasn't figured out what's the matter but he has a few ideas." He buried his face in her messy hair and breathed deep, willing his stupid tears away. Time to man up, he told himself. It wouldn't do anyone any good for him to be a baby now.
She pulled away and peered at Ethan in the room behind him. "Have they given you any idea? Is he getting medication? Can we go sit with him?"
"Sure." They sat in the hard plastic side chairs and he slung an arm over her shoulder, thinking how nice it was to have her there with him.
"Ow!" She leaned forward abruptly.
Confusion flooded him. Had he read everything wrong these last few days? "Sorry, I thought it, well you know, it would be ok? But if you want to be separate in public then…" He pulled his arm back to his side.
Kat frowned for a moment and then grabbed his hand. "No! I mean no, thats not it. I just bumped my arm getting up in a hurry in the dark is all. I think I bruised it." Something in her explanation didn't seem quite right but he let it go as she laced her fingers through his. "Besides, this way I get to enjoy your bare skin."
So they held hands instead while Ray filled her in. "So, as soon as the ultrasound tech comes in for the morning shift the doctor is going to try to get a look and then he'll have a better idea."
"Why didn't you call me?" Kat kept her voice low but the raw emotion was still clear.
He squeezed her hand, lest she think he'd meant to shut her out. "I was going to do it first thing in the morning. But I didn't think it would do you any good to sit here and worry with me. Besides, the last few days you've looked like you're barely sleeping."
She squeezed his hand back. "But it might have done you some good to have someone here for you." He nodded. She was right. It was doing him some good already. They watched as the entire Slattery family passed by to accompany Riley somewhere deeper in the hospital. Commander Slattery had an angry scowl on his face while Garth sported a wide eyed look of terror.
"Simpson-Slattery looks like he just figured out what being a parent is going to mean." Kat observed.
"What, like he's never going to sleep a full eight hours again?"
Kat's giggle was like music to his ears and something lifted a little inside him. "I suppose we should cut him some slack. It's not like he's already had 14 kids to practice on already." She lifted his hand and wrapped it around her shoulders again, this time placing it carefully over her collarbone. Even with the hard molded chair biting into his back he liked the feel of her tucked against him. Suddenly Ethan's clammy forehead didn't seem so threatening.
"I'll have to get at least one to survive to adulthood before I can claim victory. I've only been on the job for six months and I've already got one in the emergency room. I should probably be banned from ever having any."
"Who's being overly dramatic now? You got him here and he's probably gonna be ok. That's what counts. Besides, things are going to go wrong sometimes. It's just how it is. That's half the reason why you took them on, isn't it?" Kat kissed the fingers resting on her shoulder. "Besides, I heard that the twins were accidental. Kind of like the situation with Kara and Danny. You may not have a choice in the matter."
Ray snorted. "Are you volunteering then?"
Despite the fact that Kat shrugged, an impish grin on her lips, her green eyes only showed wide eyed panic as she replied, "Maybe someday."
"Hrmph, I may not survive that long."
Kat studied his face for a minute. "Why don't you close your eyes for a while. I'll wake you up if anything changes."
The next time someone shook him awake it was to speak to the doctor. "Mr. Diaz, I think we've come to a conclusion." A quick look at Ethan showed him still sleeping, dark circles under his eyes.
He listened carefully while the doctor explained to them that Ethan likely injured his spleen in his fall at the party. "It's not uncommon for a small bleed to go unnoticed for a day or so but of course any injury like that opens one up for infection. This surgery is urgent."
"So if he has this surgery, will he be ok?" Ray's mind reeled with a mix of relief and new anxiety. He couldn't afford surgery. He probably couldn't even afford a bottle of aspirin right now.
"He will be good as new, out there roughing it up like his old self in a few weeks. I'm going to have the nurse bring you some paperwork and we're going to start prepping him right away."
He glanced to Kat but she looked completely unperturbed by this announcement. "And if he doesn't have the surgery?"
The doctor narrowed his eyes. "I may need to be more clear. This is still a dire situation and he's still a very sick boy. He needs to have this done right away. He could move and increase his bleeding rate with very little warning. Is there a problem? He's not Amish or a Scientologist, is he? I saw that there was no known history. You do believe in medical care, right? Because now that we know what we're dealing with I would highly advise you to let us proceed with treatment as soon as possible."
Ray swallowed. He wished Kat didn't have to hear him admit it, but then again, she very likely knew anyway. Still, his cheeks burned in shame. "I can't pay for it, for the surgery, really for any of it. But please, if you could just do it anyway. We have a car I might be able to sell or we can come work it off. There are 14 of us and we work very hard."
The doctor's mouth opened and closed and then opened again. Then he looked between the two of them. "Is there a legal guardian who can sign the bills?"
"He doesn't really have one, although I guess Captain Chandler would probably say we became his wards when he took us in on the ship but northing's been put in writing as far as I know." Kat's fingers tightened on his sleeve. He wondered if she had understood how very different his situation was than his before that moment. He wasn't sure it had fully sunk in for himself, to tell the truth.
The doctor's gaze swept out to the hall where one nurse was bringing another clipboard full of forms and a second was pushing in a wheelchair. "So at the moment he's an unofficial ward of the state?" This was it. His world was going to end. Someone was going to come and take the people he loved most in the world away from him.
Ray took a deep breath and felt as if his lungs had shrunk by at least three quarters. He met the man's eyes and squared his shoulders. "Yes."
The doctor relaxed and smiled. "Well then it's covered under the state provisions for foster children. There's no need to worry. We'll just need to get that Captain to sign and certify that the kid is indeed an orphan of the state before he's released."
"That's it?" Ray sagged into Kat as he stared incredulously at the doctor. "He'll be ok then?"
"He'll be fine." The older man smiled. "You're managing 14 kids, just the two of you? That's pretty amazing." He turned to the nurse. "Trudy, change of plans. We need a set of whatever forms you use for fosters and what not." He turned back to Ray. "All right. We're going to wake him up and explain what's going on while the operating room gets prepared. Then we'll take him back to be prepped himself while one of you cleans up to go in with him."
Ray blanched. "Ray doesn't do blood." Kat squeezed his hand reassuringly. "But I can do that."
The doctor barked out a laugh and ran a hand over his short stubble. "Oh no, no. You just go in to hold his hand and reassure him while the anesthesiologist does their work. Then afterwards you can sit with him in recovery."
Whether it was relief or exhaustion that made him say it, he wasn't sure. "You should still do it."
At the same time Kat was saying, "Well then you should be the one."
They both laughed a little and Ray almost blurted out, "Jinx you!" like the twins did about thirty times a day. He was glad he held back when he saw the patronizing look directed over the rim of Dr. Sutherland's reading glasses.
"Just work it out and let the nurse know. I've got to prepare myself." He nodded to the nurse before disappearing through the swinging doors.
They went in to see Ethan. "Hey buddy. You're going to get an operation." Ray hoped he didn't resist or worse, throw an angry fit like he did that day at the library.
Ethan looked the happiest Ray had seen him in two days. "I know! Isn't it awesome! I can't wait to tell the guys how many stitches I got!"
Kat sat on the edge of the bed. "Have you had an operation before? They will put you to sleep and you won't feel a thing."
Ethan's eyes went wide. "Put me to sleep! Like my Daddy's old dog Chippy? No!" He shrank back against the pillows. "I can get better." He scooted toward the side of the bed, unaware that the winces in response to his movement gave him away. "See! I already feel better! Don't make me Ray!"
Remembering the doctor's words about suddenly increasing his bleeding Ray was quick to grab the little boy in a hug. "No Ethan! Not like the dog." He hugged him tight and felt the Ethan's heart fluttering wildly against his chest.
Kat scooted closer and wrapped an arm around them both. "You just to sleep for the operation. You will wake up feeling much better. I promise. And one of us will be there as you go to sleep and when you wake up." He wondered if she was trying to reassure Ethan or himself. It certainly helped, knowing he wasn't doing this alone. Despite the doctor's pronouncement that the injury could happen to any kid and was easily enough fixed, he still felt guilt gnawing at him. The kid was losing an entire organ after all.
"Do you promise?" He pressed his wet cheeks into Ray's neck. "You'll be there with me Ray?"
"I promise."
Kat summoned the nurse and before he knew it, he was holding Ethan's clammy hand as the boy counted backward from 100. The doctor came in dressed in scrubs and a funny hair cap to promise that it wouldn't take long. He'd come out and give the a report when it was over. "There's a cafeteria downstairs and a little chapel, if you are tired of the waiting room. Just let Trudy at the desk know where you're going."
Kat had gone home to get a few things for Ethan to have while he recovered so Ray dropped into the bed Ethan had recently vacated. After ten minutes he wasn't quite able to relax enough to sleep though so he rolled back out of the bed and asked Trudy where the cafe was. He might not have enough cash for a breakfast but he could at least have a change of scenery.
The cafe had no windows and the low hanging fluorescent lights cast the russet carpet in a drab pallor. Three or four nurses and a couple families looked up when he paused in the doorway. He could see that despite the many available clean tables it wasn't going to be the peaceful spot he'd hoped. He gripped the few sheets of paper he'd gotten from the nurses station and spun on his heel.
He found the chapel easily enough and the doors were wide open. But he was surprised to find it wasn't empty. A man was sitting hunched over in the front row, face in his hands. He wondered if someone had died. That must happen a lot at hospitals. The idea for a comic about a little boy talking to ghosts during surgery popped into his head. It would be the perfect level of scary for Ethan who was the biggest scardey cat of all the kids. He stepped into the chapel and automatically reached for the water by the door. It had been a long time since he had been in a church, but he was pretty sure his mother had drilled enough into him that he wouldn't disgrace himself. With a quick nod toward the alter he slid into the back row and took a seat against the outside wall.
The small chapel had about ten rows of seats facing a tiny rotunda. Narrow stained glass windows glowed in deeply recessed openings along one side of the room making him wonder if they really faced the outside of the building or were just cleverly lit to fool the patrons. He unrolled his purloined papers onto one deep windowsill, intending to use it for a desk. Only then did he realize that he didn't have a pencil. He searched the back of the pews and found one in the comment card holder a few seats up. The man in the front was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't seem to notice the racket Ray made at all. Settling down again, he began working sketching out the panels as he daydreamed about a possible story.
He had been sketching for about twenty minutes when he heard the soft footfalls of someone in the center aisle. He looked up and saw Debbie Foster hurrying to the man in the front. Only when the man sat all the way up with an audible sigh did he realize that it was Sergeant Simpson-Slattery. Debbie slid into the pew beside him and began speaking. "Garth, I know it's hard to believe from where you are right now, but I want you to know that you aren't alone. I know in my heart who you are as a person and that person deserves to forgive themselves, for whatever it was you think you did that was so awful."