XXI
"Stop smiling," Peter hissed at himself. "Stop smiling."
Thankfully, his face was under control by the time Ned swung by his locker between periods.
"Heeey," said Ned, crashing into the locker next to Peter's. He had a dreamy look on his face that was undoubtedly due to his recent make-out session with Cindy at Saturday's dance.
But wait, oh crap, that dreamy look was focusing, hardening to a point. Peter's own gaze turned frantic, zipping around, anyplace but Ned's intense stare, then diving into the open pit of the backpack he had already filled.
"You saw MJ on the weekend, didn't you?"
Man, yes or no questions were the worst! It was so much harder to fib in a single syllable. Peter could ramble on and on, spinning an answer that practically wasn't a lie at all (by the time he'd put in all the extra words and managed to avoid the question) as easily as he could spin web fluid, but lie flat-out? Straight to someone's face? To Ned's? Nope.
"Nnnnyes." He swung his locker door and banged his head into it to shut it.
"Oh my god," Ned said suddenly, somehow screeching at almost zero volume. "You had SEX?!"
Peter wasn't sure his head had ever turned so fast. How was it that obvious? Had he missed MJ writing something on his forehead in permanent marker to commemorate the occasion? And then also been lucky enough that his aunt hadn't seen it? By some miracle? The adrenaline was rising.
Now. Now was the time to lie.
"N―"
Ned's warning finger appeared in front of his face.
"Don't even try, dude. I'll just be forced to conduct serious surveillance on both of you to study your behaviour." Peter rolled his eyes, but he knew Ned would do it. His best friend perked up immediately following the threat. "Anyway, I'm your guy in the chair. I'm in on all Spider-Man's operations."
"Not this one," Peter muttered, turning to walk down the hall.
"Oh," Ned continued, trotting along next to him, "so that's why we're having an extra decathlon practice today! Man, for all the times MJ's called us losers, it's pretty lame to schedule decathlon just so she can hang out with you."
Meanwhile, back in Peter's world of I've Never Been So Horrified This Early On A Monday, he was attempting to process, plan, and fix all at once. And trying to mentally double-check that he'd finished the chapter he was supposed to read for his next class.
"You can't say anything about this," he blurted, cutting across Ned's self-congratulatory rant. "This is not like normal information. This isn't even like when I told you about Spider-Man―"
"―when I found out about Spider-Man."
"This is… delicate." Apparently like Peter's current Victorian lady constitution. He felt lightheaded. Was panicking going to make him pass out?
"Relax," Ned urged. "There's no way I would handle this like I handled that."
"You did not handle that! You told a gym full of people that I know Spider-Man!"
"Well, I promise not to tell a gym full of people that MJ also knows Spider-Man. Knows him really, really, really w―"
Peter shot him a cautioning look and Ned closed his mouth around the word.
"Alright," his best friend promised. "We shall never speak of it again."
"Great." A sigh of relief.
"Wait. Does this mean MJ knows?"
"Bye, Ned." Peter pivoted towards the open classroom door. He pointed over Ned's shoulder. "I think somebody's waiting for you."
Across the hall, Cindy turned pink, but didn't quit staring at Ned. So maybe Peter could learn a thing or two from her about overcoming awkwardness. On another note, these guys were going to be disgusting together, he could feel it. He was starting to understand the utter aversion that had been in MJ's voice when she'd recapped the dance for him over the phone.
He left Ned in Cindy's hands―not literally, but god, hopefully PDA wasn't on the horizon―and started up a countdown to lunch in the back of his mind. Lunch and decathlon.
So, Peter was bad at playing it cool. Really bad―unless part of playing it cool was supposed to involve his entire face burning as red as his Spidey mask the second MJ walked into the classroom for decathlon practice. In which case, he was acing it. He twiddled a pen until he realized the lid had been off the whole time and he had chaotic blue lines all over his hands. Awesome. The posterchild for chill, right here. At least Ned was too busy fumbling out tongue-tied sentences in low voices with Cindy to notice what Peter was doing.
What he really wanted to do was get up and hug MJ. Or just throw an arm around her shoulders. Or bury his nose in her hair and speak softly against her temple. Or, like, hold her hand. But he didn't want to embarrass her.
MJ dumped her backpack at the front of the room and stared straight through their teammates, right at Peter. And she smiled. It was his first time really seeing her face since Saturday. He felt incredibly relieved. Also overwhelmed and enamoured―and less elegant, more primal versions of enamored.
"Let's get this show on the rooooad!" Flash whined loudly. MJ sent him a vicious scowl. (Peter felt fuzzy inside.)
"Fine," their captain snapped. "We're getting closer to the Cleveland tournament and I think you guys need to toughen up."
Flash jokingly put up his fists (so poorly positioned for fighting that Peter could've rolled his eyes) and glanced around, looking for a laugh. MJ surprised him by throwing a crumpled piece of paper at his face as he turned his head.
"Done?" she asked flatly, then addressed the team. Peter thought she was getting pretty good at leading people for somebody who used to work so hard to avoid them. "We're going to practice head-to-head today instead of as a group. I want to see your responses get faster, so pretend that whoever I put you with is on the opposite team."
She volunteered to go first against Cindy while Betty read out the questions. Cindy answered at a speed that, frankly, scared Peter―the girl had been fast before, but the extra push from the captain had taken her to a new level of competitive―but MJ was correct more often. Then it was Abe against Ned, who took a handful of questions to actually start paying attention to something besides Cindy, even with Peter waving his hands and holding up a scrawled sign in his notebook that said FOCUS… and then a second sign to hold beside the first, reading: MORON.
For the third set, MJ called out, "Flash vs. Betty."
"I object!" Flash announced. The captain looked unimpressed. Peter could relate.
"This a mock debate, not a mock courtroom," she pointed out. He really wanted to go sit with her, but she'd stayed by the front to read out the prepared quiz cards.
"I believe," Flash continued in an outside voice, "that YOU―" Pointing at MJ. "―are guilty of giving that man―" Pointing at Peter, who was instantly alarmed. "―special treatment! I demand to face the competitor of my choosing!"
MJ sighed exhaustedly. Peter wished Flash were dumber so they wouldn't need him on the team. MJ twisted to meet Peter's eye. She was wearing a navy sweatshirt and looked beautiful.
"Don't listen to him," his girlfriend instructed. "You're up next against Sally."
"I'm waiting, Penis Parker."
Peter dragged himself out of his seat.
"Peter―" MJ started.
"He's wasting too much time. You're right," Peter assured her, "we need to practice this."
Flash grinned like he'd already won and bounded to stand up in front of the rest of them. Peter weaved between the desks in a path that forced him to sweep around MJ's seat. A pencil rolled off her desk and he dove after it―though he let it hit the ground before retrieving it, unlike the ice cream incident. He straightened up and set it on her desk.
"You were the first thing I thought of this morning," Peter said quietly as he brushed by, watching MJ contain her smile, except for in her eyes. She spoke very softly.
"Annihilate him."
"When I use the verb 'annihilate,' I mean win by more than two questions," MJ informed Peter as they walked out of school with Ned at the end of the day.
"I haven't done as much review lately," he defended after they'd all laughed. "I've been busy."
"I guess I'm still getting used to the fact that patrolling the streets takes up a lot of Spider-Man's free time," she said thoughtfully as they crossed the street.
Peter stared wide-eyed at her, then at Ned, who was walking on his other side. Apparently, MJ realized her mistake. She just didn't sound very worried.
"Oh. Ned knows, right?"
"Why would you ask that after mentioning that I'm Spider-Man?"
"Uh, because I'm not a time traveler, Peter," she fired back. "I assumed Ned knew."
"Which I did," Ned interjected.
"But he's Ned. Like, obviously you would've told Ned."
"I am Ned," Ned agreed cheerfully.
"Ok," Peter conceded, nervously tugging his sweater sleeves down over his hands, "but no assumptions starting now. Deal?"
"Yes, Parker, jeeze. I can play it safe. You know I'm big on safe."
MJ bumped her elbow into Peter's arm and he remembered the way she'd slapped a bunch of condoms into his hand. He stared determinedly downward, watching his sneakers tread grimy concrete speckled with primordial constellations of gum.
"May knows," Ned informed her, thankfully oblivious to MJ's subtext. "And Tony Stark and the rest of those guys, obviously. So freaking nuts."
"I figured," she said and Peter glanced up to watch her smile. She caught his eye. "Peter is not stealthy enough to switch between intern and superhero without one of them noticing. Look at that face." MJ gestured as Ned grinned. "Not exactly hard to read."
"The mask helps," Peter said, a little offended.
Her steps angled closer to his and she took his hand.
"It was a compliment," MJ whispered. He linked their fingers securely.
"So!" Ned began. "No butt-kicking plans tonight, right? Because I need to study so bad. Oh, and I'm staying for dinner. And then there's this new TV show I want to see." He paused his hurried words. "Are you… coming to Peter's, MJ?"
Peter smiled at Ned. He knew how he felt, seeing as he was hoping that his best friend's interest in Cindy wasn't going to change their dynamic too much either. This was his guy in the chair though.
"Actually, I'm going to the hospital. I should probably…" MJ pointed left as they walked towards an intersection. Peter guessed she had that extra sketchbook in her backpack. That private one, filled with a record of her benevolence towards sick children. Top secret stuff.
Ned stared sideways at them, gaze dropping to their clasped hands.
"If she's going that way, then you guys probably want to make out now, right?"
"Yeah," Peter confirmed lightly, "get lost."
His best friend sighed heavily and sped up to catch the light. Peter glanced from him to MJ, who was still holding his hand.
"We do, right?" he checked.
"We definitely do," she agreed.
Unhurriedly, MJ draped her arms over his shoulders; Peter wiggled his between her back and backpack. Wow, his heart was pounding. He thought about saying something, but there was nothing he could say that would be better than kissing her. So he went with that. MJ's face bobbed against his as their lips pulled in and pushed out like their own personal tide. If this was supposed to feel kinda routine after they'd done so much more, then they were obviously doing it wrong, because kissing her felt amazing. Peter's fingers scrunched and gripped MJ's sweatshirt at the small of her back, trying to bring her closer. The swelling length in his jeans thought this was a great idea.
It drove him crazy in the best way that he had to be the one to break contact, because MJ wasn't helping at all. It took a minute (and lingering kisses, as Peter assumed both of them were trying to convince themselves that this kiss was the last one, no this kiss was the last one, no this…) to isolate a reason why this embrace felt different from the other times he'd kissed her (standing up). When Peter realized it was trust, that he could actually feel the way she trusted him now that he'd let her in on his second identity, he knew he had a big new responsibility.
"If Ned gets to my place before me, he's going to tell May I'm back here making out with you."
MJ snickered.
"Ok," she said, patting his chest. He knew she was feeling the muscle beneath―they weren't fooling each other. "Go catch up. Take to the rooftops."
"Have a good afternoon," he said as she gracefully scooped her hair up into a ponytail.
"Hey," MJ added, plucking at his shirt. "We should plan something soon. I need the thought of plans to get me through the school day when you're sitting right there and I can't―" She made a grating sound of frustration and Peter laughed. He decided to tease her.
"What kind of thing would we plan?" he wondered, tracing the skin above the crewneck of her sweatshirt with a light, controlled touch. She shivered.
"You know damn well," MJ insisted, but she'd blushed.
Crap, this was backfiring; Peter's body had determined that his calming erection should be reawakened. He shifted nearer to his girlfriend.
"Come on, just tell me. You know you're smarter than me," he sucked up.
"True, but I think even you should be able to figure this one out."
Peter shrugged, backing away from her.
"Maybe, maybe not. You might have to intervene and help me."
"You might have to get over yourself and your little ploy and ask me to."
"We'll see who cracks first then," he said with a final nod.
"Bring it," she challenged. Then mouthed, "Spider-Man," before turning to wait for a green light.
Dammit, that was not fair. MJ was changing the pure, symbolic name of Spider-Man into something that made him feel… made him want to… Peter clenched his fists to his temples and forced himself to cross the street instead of racing back to her.
He sprinted up to Ned one building from home.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"MJ's going to the hospital?" Ned asked.
"Yeah." Peter let them into his building.
"Are we worried?"
He laughed at Ned's confused face.
"No, she has this whole secret hobby where she's nice to people without them having to endure her distant loathing for years beforehand."
"She never loathed you, dummy."
"I'm still shocked by that every time it crosses my mind," Peter joked. "Anyway, she goes, she hangs out, she draws."
"Are they good? The drawings?"
"Yeah. Well, I haven't seen them, but, you know."
"But you're obsessed with her so anything she does is automatically perfect. Yeah, I know," Ned quipped.
"Shut up," Peter fought back half-heartedly. "I'm sure she'll show them to me eventually."
He frowned. Was there something he'd forgotten?
Author's Note:
Everyone in this story is so freaking fun to write. I want Ned to be *my* sidekick. I even love Flash. Favourite minor characters in this story, anyone?
Next time on How to Get Away With Keeping Your Sex Life Secret (JK Ned's Too Observant): Aunt May wards off vampires while dragging Peter into an Uncomfortable Chat. Peter and MJ struggle not to make or discuss plans. Whether Peter wins or loses is up to readers' interpretation.
To be continued...