The Wounded Warsong

Chapter 21: The Gob-father

"Oh Ori-dear, glad you came by today! Jiknix came home a few days ago and has a lot of interesting stuff with him! You should pay him a visit and bring him this pie for me." Darefane handed her a freshly baked pie. "Also, a letter came from Vhana: the armor is nearing completion but she still needs a few more weeks to finish."

"(PIE! Dare you to eat it!)"

"Thanks Mom!" Orinthia left the house.

"...Have I been a good parent Abuela? She worries me to no end... especially now. Perih really knew what was going to happen and there's more still that has yet to happen. Should I have-"

"These things would have happened without you Darrrefane. If anything Vince helped make them happen sooner.

"Vince..."

"He knew what he was doing and Perih told him his fate. He did it forrr us... all of us."

---

"Oh my Gob! Howdy again Orinthia! It's been a while!" Jiknix smiled under his mask.

"Howdy to you too! Here's a pie from Mom. She told me you got a lot of interesting loot." He nodded.

"I do, treasure hunts have been really fun. And Darefane's pies are so yummy! Be sure to tell her thanks for me."

"(I bet that's not the only kind of pie he's eaten. Hehehe...)"

"Oh, I nearly forgot. While I was inside... in Ordelle's..."

"Yes?"

"I met a Goblin named Ruffbix Jumbo-something..."

"Old-man Jumbolobes! He's an ordained paladin? My Gob he's one sneaky bast-"

"He told me to tell you that your hat was fixed or something."

"HE FIXED IT! WOOOHOOO!" He started jumping up and down and dancing. Orinthia was puzzled. "Oh, guess I never told you. Do you remember that trade we did all those years ago at the outpost?" She thought a minute.

"Oh yeah! That hat was a little big..."

"Well, your old tornup cap was actually a relic from hundreds of years ago!"

"Huh! No way!"

"Yes way! Whoever had that before you was one rare collector. It was actually made from tiger leather and adorned with a very rare coral, angelskin! Seriously, Jumbolobes had to have pulled a mountain out of his ears to fix this thing!"

"(I bet that's what all the treasure was for.)"

"So that's what all the treasure hunts were for?" Jiknix looked away and scratched the back of his head.

"Ah hahaha... you caught me. Gotta pay for info and then pay for services, it's the Gob-way. Makes me wonder just how far he had to go... Well, wanna help me load up and pay him a visit?"

"(Yes, I'd love to go-NOT! NOT!)"

"Sure, I'll help."

"(DAMN YOU! So helpful it makes me SICK! BAH!)"

"Thanks! Here, share this pie with me haha!"

---

"What are you doing refusing my offer? Bah! Stupid Gob."

"Well the deal was crap, you expect me to accept so little? More, MORE!"

"Hmph. You better thank Gob Jiknix is as good as he is."

"Damn-straight he's good. He's my best hunter and partner!"

"Partner now eh! Hope he likes the sound of that!" Ruffbix was bargaining with another Goblin who had two Goblin guards next to him in a Lower Jeuno alley. They began to reach for their weapons.

"Don't even think about it." Ruffbix pulled a lit bomb from inside his cloak. The other three stopped and gasped. "Think I won't do it? Y'all are the only ones that'll die HAHAHA!"

"Okay OKAY! Stop the fuse I'll agree!" Ruffbix stopped the fuse with his fingers. "It's out! Put him out!" The guards took out their swords. Ruffbix sighed and released his fingers: the fuse was still lit!

"Here you go!" He tossed the bomb at the Goblin in the middle and took off running, leaving more lit bombs in his wake.

"AH!"

"HAHAHAHA!" Ruffbix laughed as he ran away and the bombs exploded! He took out two bottles and a powder bag from a pocket. "Time to sneak away!" he sprinkled the contents of both bottles on himself and threw the powder bag on the ground hard. He instantly became unnoticeable by scent, clothing movements, and sight! ...but he had to tip-toe. Several Goblins and Jeuno gate-guards ran past him, almost running into him. Eee! Need to move fast, he thought.

"So there we were, all alone on a boat and a big damn Kraken climbed on board! Ol' Ruffbix and me turned it into dinner! Haha!"

Hey! That isn't... oh shi-

"Haha!"

"(Wow, damn Gob has done a whole lot of crap... wish he'd shut up.)"

"Psst! Yo Jik!" Jiknix looked around.

"Did you hear that Orinthia? Thought I heard something..."

"I heard it."

"(A Goblin is standing right next to us. You two might not be able to see him but I sure can.)"

"Psst! Overhere! Keep it down!" Orinthia looked to where the voice was coming from and reached with her finger to poke it. Something stopped her finger!

"Ah! Don't blow my cover! Gotta get out of here Jik! Help me!" Jiknix folded his arms.

"Hmmm...? What'd you do this time?"

"Nothing we just gotta leave now!"

"Fine, get on the cart, was wheeling this to your place but I guess it's back to the boat."

"No, hurry to my place, I have it there! And thanks Missy, you found him alright. Haha, you should-a-been-a Gob!"

"Well it helps that he lives close by my mom's."

"Is that so? Hmm... Okay, I'm on, let's roll! Hurry!" Orinthia dragged the cart faster following Jiknix.

"(You're such a mule... dammit.)"

"Damn! Didn't think you had this much stuff Jik!"

"Hey, a deal's a deal; I'm a Gob of my word. Just a bit further and-"

"Aw damn!" Ruffbix's residence was being guarded by four armed Gobs and two Jeuno gate-guards. They spotted them.

"Halt!"

"(Mind if I cut in?)"

"Uhoh..."

"I have an idea." Orinthia stepped forward.

"Hey!"

"I'm Orinthia, this is my friend, and this sword is Gluttony. We came to deliver some things to the Gob that lives here, can we drop them off?" The two Jeuno guards took one look at her armor, flowing red San d'Orian mantle, and Gluttony and stood at attention.

"You may."

"Hey, wait a sec. How do we know you aren't trying to pull somethin'?" one of the Goblins asked.

"Sir, this Orinthia is obviously an ordained paladin of San d'Oria and deserves our trust. We cannot impede one of such a rank as her."

"Where's the proof! I wipe my ass with drapes like that!"

"Sir, look at her weapon."

"Yeah so? Looks like a rusted piece of shi-"

"(OH DAMN YOU JUST SAID THE SECRET WORD!)" Gluttony popped up from his lock quite noticeably and audibly.

"Sir, you provoked her weapon and it moved, that is the sign of a paladin owner, plus that is a behemoth's hide covering it. Only those of the highest ranks have weapons sheathed in such hides. Please stand down and let her pass."

"Fine! Damn you, if I hear anything in there..." They stood aside for her and the cart but not Jiknix. "Not you though, you stay out here." Orinthia pushed the cart into the residence and out of sight. She looked around inside the dimly lit main room.

"(I don't see anything doll, it's safe.)"

"It's clear Ruffbix."

"Hohohoho! Damn Missy, how'd you know? You should-a... oh Gob, I almost just want to propose to you anyway!"

"(To your left directly.)" Orinthia punched the air to her left solidly, nailing Ruffbix in the face. "(Haha, nice.)"

"Ow! Owowowowo... Okay okay, but damn does that turn me on. It's in the other room in a small black box."

"It was a chance, guess real paladins have more authority then I thought." Ruffbix looked over the cart again, noticing the large boxes had spare space.

"Hmm, this probably has enough space for stuff too, don't think I can come back here for sometime now haha, might as well load up! Grab what you can Missy!"