Thanks for all the great reviews guys! It really means a lot that so many people like my crappy story, lol. Anyway, nine chapters left...but still some drama. ;)
Butterflies hitting her once again, for, what seemed, the umpteenth time that day, Rose almost threw up again, though this time from nerves, instead of nausea.
It was finally here…the day of Cal's return.
It was almost six 'o clock in the evening…surely, he would be home soon.
Shakily going back to her book, she only prayed that he would be.
In an hour, she suddenly started. Was that…an automobile she heard?
Throwing the book on her bedside bureau, she shakily walked downstairs, and her suspicions were proven correct.
Breathing in deep, all of a sudden she wanted to run back upstairs and hide; simply hide forever. But of course, this was reality. She couldn't do that.
Deciding to go back upstairs and wait while he unpacked and got settled, she read again, her eyes seeing nothing, her mind registering nothing.
Finally, Rose summoned her courage and breathed in deep. She could do this.
Slowly walking downstairs, she checked the parlor, and he was not there. So, she simply went to his study…and sure enough, light flooded out into the darkened hallway.
Breathing in again, she went to the door, at first hesitating, and silently entered. His back was to her, making her heart pound more. It seemed he was pouring himself alcohol.
Noiselessly closing the door behind her, she closed her eyes, and cleared her throat.
"Cal," she said, and somehow, despite how ungodly nervous she was, she still couldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face.
He seemed to start, and then, Rose found it odd how he still hadn't turned around…
Finally, he did so, glass in hand, leaning against the wall. His hair was tousled, and he looked just as handsome as ever. He was wearing tan pants, and a black button-down sweater, and she couldn't help from noticing just how adorable he looked.
At the eye contact, the first they had had since that night, she couldn't stop herself from blushing, just a little, from the memories of the night they had shared.
Cal did not smile…nor even greet her at first. In fact, his face was almost solemn. It was so strange. Had something happened? Something she wasn't aware of? Maybe trouble with the trip?
At last, he spoke, and the smile fell from her face.
"Hello," he said softly.
Brow furrowing in confusion, she said, "Cal…is…is everything alright?"
And then, suddenly, he smirked; yet this smirk was…was almost arrogant. Cocky.
He laughed a little, shrugging. "Of course. Why?"
Here he took a sip out of his glass, leaving her mind spinning.
Shaking herself slightly, she tried again, choosing to let his earlier response be.
"Cal…I…we need…we need to talk," she said, trying again, taking a step closer to him.
"Oh I'm sure we do," he said, tousling his hair, smirk growing just a little.
"But, Rose darling, I do hate to disappoint you, but if you were under the impression that I was just going to sweep you up in my arms and make love to you again, you were sorely mistaken."
Rose almost gasped, she felt so shocked at his response. It took her a few moments to respond. Yet along with her shock, she felt herself growing just a little angry.
"I…I don't understand," she said. "Why…why would you ever think you have the right to say something like that to me?"
He laughed a little, depositing his glass on a table, crossing his arms.
"I do apologize if that offended you, but I was just setting boundaries."
Beginning to see red, she could not stop herself from growing louder.
"Seriously, what…what ever has gotten into you? Goodness…I…I was just hoping to talk to you!"
At his response, however, even she paused.
"Oh, darling, that's just how I am! Nothing's wrong…but this is just how unimaginable bastards like me are supposed to behave! Am I wrong?"
More confusion flooding her, she had to stop and think.
He was acting so…so callous…so arrogant and obnoxious and…and bitter! What ever had happened to make him act this way?
Yet her analyzing was halted when suddenly, he said, to her utter shock, "Besides, I'm terribly sorry for being so impolite, darling. How are things with you? Though I'm sensing from your attitude you probably had a terribly tough time of it while I was gone…did you meet some other first-class man and give yourself to him, only to have him end things?"
Rose sputtered, now seeing beyond red at his words…
"Wh…what? What the hell has gotten into you?"
He smirked a little. "Ah…I think we have our answer there. My sympathies."
She put her hand on her heart, trying to calm herself.
Words finally coming to her, she said, teeth gritted, "I did nothing of the sort, and you should know that! Though, come to think of it, I actually am beginning to think your offer about "setting boundaries" is the first intelligent thing I've ever heard you say!"
He only laughed, leaning back even more, and now Rose hoped he would fall.
"You are as charming and kind as always, darling. You know how to make a man feel wanted."
Rose scoffed, smoothing her hair back. "I'm a good deal more than you are, and I don't want you! In fact, any man would be better than you!"
Cal smiled a little. "Oh…don't be embarrassed, darling. Feel free to admit that you were hoping we'd repeat what we did. But then again, I am surprised that you'd even want to…I'd think you're still too sore between your legs from last time."
Rose blushed violently, yet began to feel herself begin to shake with anger. That bastard!
"Yet…on second thought, I happen to know very well how much you like it rough."
He made deliberate eye contact with her as he finished, speaking slowly and softly, and Rose felt herself blush even further. She was speechless.
"Blushing becomes you, Rose," he said softly, smirk growing as he saw her face redden.
Face still on fire, Rose finally spat, "You…you bastard! What right do you think you have to say something like that to me?"
Smirking, he said, "What, that blushing becomes you? I meant it as a compliment…most women would take it as one…"
Finally feeling as though she were at her wit's end, wanting to claw him, she said, anger finally spilling out, "Oh, you know what I mean! Goodness…"
She finally let out a little frustrated shriek.
And then he spoke again. "Darling, I'm a little confused as to why you are acting like this. You can tell me, I won't judge you…what all happened with this new man of yours?"
Finally, Rose snapped. She wanted nothing more than to slap that smirk off his blasted face!
Breathing hard, she said, choking just a little on the words, "You unimaginable bastard! Fine! If you really want to know why I'm acting like this…it's because…. it's because…I'm…I'm carrying your godforsaken child!"
She glared, heart pounding. Oh…she had not meant to tell him this way…not at all…but with the way he was acting, and how upset she was, he was lucky she had even told him at all!
The words sunk in, and the silence seemed to last forever, though it was really only seconds.
Watching him, the smirk left his face, and his face grew serious…and then, shocked. HE glanced at her stomach quickly. Eyes widening, he slowly began moving towards her as if in a trance, his demeanor and personality entirely different from earlier.
"You're…you're pregnant? Why…why didn't you tell me?"…
She laughed deliriously. "Well, Cal, it was a bit difficult to send a letter when you went God only knows where for your little business trip!"
The stab made him be silent.
Here he touched her arms gently. "Look at me…I'm…"
Finally, Rose snapped, wrenching herself out of his grasp. "Don't touch me!" she said witheringly.
Oh…it was finally hitting her…all of it…He…he did not care for her…He didn't have feelings for her, as she…she had thought. No. And their night together had meant nothing, nothing at all to him, and she was so stupid and foolish…she had allowed herself to be swept away by him and he had just used her! He…he had probably slept with a lot of other women while away, mindless numbskull prostitutes, the thought making her stomach turn and her heart hurt.
And, oh god…she…she did have feelings for him…she knew that now…and he…he had just used her…used her completely and utterly. And it hurt. She wanted nothing more than to be locked up in her bedroom, away from him, so she could cry…
Finally, her heartbreak rising to tantamount levels, she suddenly slapped him with all of her might.
He held his right cheek, staring at her.
Seething, tears pricking her eyes, she said, "You…god, I was so foolish! I was so, so foolish to…to think…oh I don't even know what I thought," she said, scoffing.
Laughing bitterly, she said, "I…goodness…our night together meant absolutely nothing to you, did it? I was just another whore under your belt, wasn't I? And…and to think…I actually missed you while you were away…wanted you to come back right away…I was actually hurt when you left! But…no…oh god. I…I can just see you with your friends, laughing and imagining me all lovesick and weak, just living for the day you came home!"
The tears beginning to fall, now, she angrily swiped them away, hating herself for allowing herself to cry in front of him.
Not bearing to be in the same room with him any longer, she said, "I…I hate you, Cal. I do! You're just an unimaginable bastard and I hate you. And I will until the day I die!"
With a last withering look, she ran from the room, with all her might, and just wanted to be upstairs, safe, in her room…away from him…
Yet she heard him shout behind her, and heard footsteps.
"Rose! Wait!" he called softly.
Putting on more speed, she would die if he caught her…
Sadly, he did, and all of a sudden, was right in front of her, gently grabbing her arms.
"Rose…wait…Oh, Rose, if I would have known…I would have…"
Hating the feeling of him touching her, yet hating herself for still wanting to melt into his embrace, she suddenly felt, all at once, as though she would burst if he did not release her.
"Let go of me!" she shrieked, now beginning to beat him with her fists.
All she could see was red.
"Rose, Rose!" he said, softly yet urgently. "Please! I will…but calm down. This…this is not good for you…or the baby."
Finally, she stopped, and he released her.
She was still shaking, and then, it surprised her when he backed away, unable to look at her.
"Goodness…Rose…I…I'm so sorry, for how I acted when I came home…I…and for leaving the way I did. But…you have to understand…I was just…just scared…I thought you didn't want me," he said awkwardly.
He glanced at her, and she saw just how tortured and sincere his face was.
The words hitting her, she was calmed somewhat, and he chose to go on.
"I…I'm sorry but…I left the way I did because…god…I love you, Rose! I'm hopelessly in love with you, and I have been since the day we met, and I will be until the day I die! And…it's just…I never, ever thought you would feel the same! Our…our entire engagement you never gave me a chance, and I…I mistakenly thought that you…when you woke up, you would come to your senses and…hate me even more. Want to leave. That's…that's why I left."
Rose stared at him, the shock flooding her, yet feeling strangely calmed.
"You…you love me?" she asked, the words making her feel oddly elated.
He smiled a little. "Y…Yes. I do, Rose DeWitt Bukater. I do. And I…I…look…I know I never said it…but…I…I am very, very sorry, beyond words, about what happened on Titanic…for everything I did. To you…and to him. Truly. But…you…you have to understand…I was just so…so hurt with what you did, and I…I thought we both would die and I would never see you again and get to tell you how I felt…how I'd always felt…and I just…I just snapped. But I was never truly that man…I became my father…and I will never act that way again. I…I have no excuses, but…I have always loved you. Truly. And I wish I could take it all back, what I did. I…I don't…I don't deserve you. I never did."
Looking at him, her expression now sympathetic, his words fully sunk in.
She really had hurt him with everything she had done. And at the time, had not cared one whit.
Of course…it all made sense. And…she had to admit, it was very easy to see why he had run off the way he had. She had always been so horrible to him.
And in some ways, unfairly so. From the beginning. The very beginning.
The sincerity of his words touching her, she knew that he truly was sorry for everything.
And now, it was as though he were afraid to look at her, as he averted his eyes.
Going over to him, she softly touched his arm. "Cal?"
He looked at her, and then, Rose softly did what she had been longing to do ever since the day he had left. She kissed him, putting both hands on his cheeks.
Thankfully, he seemed to break under her touch, and now he was gently holding her against him…
With a reassuring smile, she nodded, and the smile on his face, enchantment in his eyes made her heart melt.
No words were needed, and he gently picked her up and carried her upstairs.