Chapter Twenty One: Cooking Lessons 101
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.. otherwise I would have visited the set of the movie and met all the cast and gotten their autograph
A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed! We've broken the 300 mark and my goal for the last chapter! You all made me happy throughout the last few days with exams. I HAVE FINISHED MY EXAMS... that is why there was a delay on this chapter. That and I seriously couldn't think of anything to write in this chapter. WRITER'S BLOCK!
Then I am free for 2 weeks until I have School Certificate exams... so close together.
OH GUESS WHAT?! I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SAYING THIS BUT IN JUST UNDER TWO WEEKS IM GOING TO SEE BILLY ELLIOT ON STAGE! SO EXCITED!
Excellent break after having exams... it's for drama but requires us to leave quite early in the morning. Enough of me talking I think... my A/Ns are usually very long so I'll try and cut down.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. You made my week more pleasant. (In order): Lady Saruman, Lovelyshakirababe, Rachael Clare, Klutzygirl34, 3 Christine 3(anon), Hawktalon. of. Windclan, bbbff1996, Jasper Hale x Alice Cullen, kdscutie, Fitzy-Loves-Footy, do-the-hokey-pokey...weird(anon), La tua Cantante101, and Briiittx xhc,
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BPOV
We were all home again at the Cullen's House. Why can't we meet at my house? It's always their place. At least I have all of my original furniture. Emmett has destroyed at least everything once that all of the new furniture in the LoungeRoom, REC room and kitchen are less than a year old.
Alice had be tied to a random chair in the house whilst playing Bella Barbie. You seriously don't want to know how many chairs these people...vampires have. Why do they need them? They can stand up all day without their feet falling asleep. It's such a conspiracy of the chairs! Too many of them. Alice had been going at my hair now for two hours. She wanted to make it look like a pineapple because she has Hawaii on her brain. My stomach let out a loud growl. WOOH I'M HUNGRY AND THEY'RE NOT! Wait... maybe they are. Jasper has black eyes. Eep!
Edward came running in a second later after my stomach wanted to be noticed and fed. "Bella! It's lunch! Time to eat... erh... tomato sauce and peas?" He said at first then turned it around as a question. "I want a pie! A hot meat pie with tomato sauce!... and hot chips with chicken salt!" I replied. I'm in the mood for some greasy food! No idea why... unless I'm hungry... now that's an idea why.
"I want to have fun and watch you all suffer! ... while I eat my lunch. Now meeting in the KITCHEN, CARLISLE, in 5 minutes...," I yelled cause I can and then mumbled, "...because Alice has to untie me from this device called a CHAIR!" What a weird word! Almost as weird as Edward's nickname I gave him. Mr Godfather! Ah... I was high that day.
Alice untied me eventually and I made my way downstairs... by myself! I feel so proud! I didn't fall flat on my face and had a staring competition with the floor. Everyone was already in the kitchen... and in Emmett's case, in the fridge. Don't ask how he got in there. I have got noooo idea. But it's Emmett... he's cool! Shut up Bella. Time to get the ball rolling.
"Okay as you all have most likely heard due to your stupid sensitive vampire hearing... I'm hungry! So I have a challenge for the guys. Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett AND Edward, I want you to make me dinner of you choice to see how well or not you can cook human food and so I can eat if afterwards. Hopefully it is edible. WAIT! If it's not and I'm dying due to a carroll being intoxicated or something, Edward will have to change me so PUT SOME BAD DRUGS IN IT OR SOMETHING!" I smiled thinking of my evil plan where Edward can't hear me.
Edward sighed when he ehard that. Shut up vampire fiance. "Bella I don't think this is wise, practical or safe," Edward listed on his fingers. "Don't forget normal... you gotta love normal!," Carlisle inputted. "Cooking is so normal! Even cook offs slash lessons that I'm going to make you to like on that TV show, Ready Steady Cook. It has a tomato and a capiscum fighting against each other!" I stated.
Carlisle looked smug that the family was beginning to do soemthing normal. "Now the rules because I feel like it and it's my idea. One; you have until 7pm to finish my dinner dish, haha alliteration. Two; you can use anything in the kitchen but nothing beyond except from the lovely garden Esme has, it's GREEN! But only she can access it. You boys, EMMETT, will trample over it and ruin poor Remus the Yellow Rose. And three; minimal butter used cause I don't like butter. If you want to be nice you can also try a dessert with SUGAR!" I finished with a deep breath.
"Excellent idea me thinks," Alice said. "We think so too," Esme and Rosalie chimed in. Mwahaha the girls are with me too... even Rose. "Let's get to it. I'll eat some lunch while watching them. Care to watch too ladies?" I asked. The three vampire women nodded their head in reply. Excellent again!
EsPOV
Oh how funny it was to watch the guys attempt to discover what a mixing bowl is. I know what it is because Bella taught me and I learnt to cook for her! I feel so proud of myself... Carlisle has to suck it up without having any help. I think I may evil laugh. Blasted Jasper. "Mwahahaha!" I said on the kitchen table. Everyone but Emmett stared at me. He was too busy MAKING a mixing bowl
His idea was to get a china bowl and add little propellers. Weird son.
It was two pm so the boys had 5 hours to cook a dinner for Bella. It really isn't that hard... for humans! Each had set up their own little 'work stations' on some kitchen bench that they started claiming. Jasper even jammed a little 'Jasper' flag into the bench leaving a mark. Tsk tsk. Discipline is in dire need.
Carlisle was getting into the spirit of cooking normally that he had started twirling and dancing around the kitchen to get certain ingredients. Never seen him like this before... except for that one time a decade or so ago... amusing! It was now decided that Carlisle was going to make chicken and potatoes, Jasper was making lasagna, Emmett was ATTEMPTING pizza and Edward was fighting with the spaghetti to make Spaghetti Bolognese.
It's absoutely amazing to see them cook. It was almost three in the afternoon and they were just beginning to pre-prepare their ingredients like peeling the potatoes and cutting vegetables. Edward had used the handle end of the knife to cut up the onion and then blamed it as the knife's fault for not telling him. Now he thinks kives can talk.
Suddenly Emmett burst out, "I had a random dream last night!" Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and Bella choked slightly on a carrot and Alice helped Bella breath again. Bella glared at Alice for having to save her. "What the hell Emmett... vampires can't have dreams... unless it was a day dream. Was it?" Rose asked. "No it was a night dream! I remember... wait?" Emmett replied.
"Emmett no! We can't sleep," Jasper piped in. "OH MY GOD! THEN WHAT THE HELL DID I DO FOR SEVEN HOURS OF MY LIFE IN WHICH I DON'T REMEMBER?" Emmett yelled. Vampires are supposed to remember everything in their vampire life. I should know... Carlisle told me one night. "Erh this may actually be bad... this isn't supposed to happen," Carlisle said in his sexy doctor voice that I know and love. "Nah Emmett was probably just extremely high. Lots of crack does that... apparently," Edward said, "Not that I know that or anything." I saw his eyes dart around avoiding meeting anyone's elses. NOT MY EDWARD TOO! "Why!" I cried out.
"Human food industries think up pretty weird names for their products and brands. Hahaha what kind of a word is 'flour'? It sounds like 'flower' but spelt differently. Then they have the brand name 'Black and Gold' with black and YELLOW package designing," Jasper said whilst using flour? Do you use flour in lasanga? I have no clue.. never made it.
"Well it is a song... a pretty catchy song. I love songs... and music! Gotta love the letter 'M'. It's the word of the week!" Carlisle said. "Erh... too much Sesame Street?" Edward asked. "Nope gotta love the letter 'M'!" Carlisle replied. We all left him to his insane state and watched them get back to cooking lessons or making... whatever.
JPOV
We've been at it for three hours now! This is a shame to us MANLY MEN out there. Plus this lasagna has totally ruined my complextion. I have human food all over... though it does taste nice... well I can't actually taste the specific taste but dirt tastes nice and human food comes in all weird forms and shapes. So utterly amusing I find it. Can't beat Vampire Comedy. Already Emmett has had to start over again a few times. Flour and him just don't mix.
"Erh... guys. What happens when flour suddenly engolfs your mixing bowl?" Emmett asked. He poured too much flour into the bowl again... for the sixth time. He keeps asking that. It's funny cause of the way he says it. "Emmett... it only says to use two cups of flour. Not a whole one kilogram bag of it," Bella laughed out again. (A/N: What is the American measuring system for that?) I turned back and noticed that my lasagna was on the verge of just being CHEESEagna.
Though I plan to sabotage Carlisle's dinner maybe.., because I am so evil. His chicken and potatoes are in the oven right now and he's with Esme and the girls in the LoungeRoom (by force i might add) to watch "Desperate Housewives' for some reason. On another note, my day has been averagely average. Not every day we have independent cooking lessons... without a teacher. Which totally stuffs up the meaning of the word 'lesson'.
Edward was going fine as well... despite the fact that the erh ceiling has spaghetti stuck to it. Like when the pancake gets stuck up there... but this time it's SPAGHETTI! How cool is that? Not very I don't think. I just think it is because it's spaghetti... it looks like grass... but a creamy yellow colour. The only reason I know this is because Alice makes me memorise colour charts so that I can help her. It's my so called 'education'. Kil me please!
Edward's spaghetti was simming in the pot and Emmett was kneeding his dough far away in the corner because he didn't trust the flour packet this time. There's another thing Emmett is afraid of. FLOUR! So he won't see my EVIL plan of turning up the temperature of the oven to burn Carlisle's chicken. It's just for fun. I tiptoed to the oven and turned it up from 200 degrees celcius (A/N: 392 degrees farenheit? Don't know the actual temp for cooking chicken.) to 280 degrees (536 F) and then tiptoed back to my cheesy lasagna.
I could sabotage Edward's as well but I am just too bothered at the moment. Cooking is very tiring... that or it could be all the freaking LUST I feel from Edward and Bella. I put my lasagna in the second oven... we have two! No idea why... and then headed out to the Lounge Room too because I felt lonely. Now only Emmett was left putting on the tomato paste onto his base. Well half goes in his mouth. He's got a new found fedish for tomatoes.
EmPOV
Sunshine lollipops and rainbows. Everything thats wonderful when we're together. Hahah I love that song... it was on the Simpsons.. and in my head. So powerful! My beautiful pizza was now in the third oven! We have so many ovens that it has turned into a conspiracy! They're out to get me with their wire racks and small confined spaces. Though I love confined spaces... kinky!
On my pizza I included cool things that no one would ever include because I am Emmett Cullen and I own the word unique. I bought it on Ebay for a thousand dollars. Pretty cool if you ask me. Oh and get this.. my pizza gets to spend the least time in the oven... because I'm hell cool and pizzas seemingly cook quicker. No idea why because it took the longest... stupid human cooking ways.
Mwahahaha it was 6pm now though. My pizza comes out in five minutes then Edward's spaghetti comes out in 10, Carlisle's in 15 and Jasper's in 15 too. So close together. Oh and I'm actually remembering times! So proud of myself. Must make myself a certificate tonight when I'm allowed on the computer under supervision due to that accident the last time I was alone with it. I may have erh broken it because it told me that I couldn't enter that website under the proxy server. Oh the five minutes is up. Time passses when I'm thinking about computers and mice!
Walking into the kitchen I thought better of it and went out into the garage and picked up a shovel. Emmett Cullen the Great shall find an awesome way to get the pizza out of the oven. New innovative ways to do simple human things. Enhance these cool things. I walked back into the kitchen, turned the oven off and then got my shovel and started to take out the awesomely awesome smelling pizza. That was until Edward turned around and noticed me. "Now now Emmett... where on earth did you get that spade?"
"Ah the Garage... don't mock me!" I yelled. No one can take away my coolness of taking the pizza out of the oven. My first home cooked human meal actually turned out alright... i think. It looks alright in it's appearance and smells alright too... hmm. "Okay I'll just back away quietly and hide on the floor! No one can see me from there!" Edward cried and then hid ON the floor. Man I though I was weird.
"What's that smell? Oh it's Carlisle's chicken... smells kidna funky... hahah that song.. Won't you take me to funky town!" Carlisle the chicken is having a spazzy mc spaz!" I called out to him from the Lounge Room. He can so here me. "OMC my chicken! My beautiful chicken! Is.. burnt... to the crisp! Damn this human food! It's not NORMAL for a vampire to cook human food anyway!" Carlisle cried. Ah I feel a little guilty... even though it wasn't me this time. I swear!
"Ah being a vampire ain't considered normal either!" Rose added. Carlisle glared and hugged the demented chicken. "You all will pay!" He said and fled the room.. with that chicken. Emotionally attached or what? "Someone may wanna get the fire brigade. The oven is on fire!" Bella said.
HAHA FIRE IS SO PRETTY!
A/N: Let me try and keep this bottom AN short. I just love talking so I can't help it. It's just who I am. Thank you to everyone who wished me good luck in my exams. Much appreciated.
Now to make up for the delay in this chapter I'll try and get out Chapter 22 by sunday. So thats only 5 days waiting time! I'm having a celebration with my friend's this saturday and then a stupid drama assignment due on monday that I haven't even started so please give me motivation or something. I shall try!
HAHA YES I GOT AN ONLINE CONVERTOR TO WORK OUT THE CHANGE FROM CELCIUS TO FARENHEIT!
What do you all want to see in future chapters? Any ideas... don't hesitate to PM or review me. I reply to each personally with my weirdness ensured in my writings. It doesn't end in the chapters. Can we attempt 320 reviews? Or 325? That would make my day.
Preview for Chapter 22: "Do you ever wonder how that got there?"
Review for chapter title and EXTENDED preview of chapter 22