Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Takaya

Darkest Passion

Chapter 21 - All I want is you

"California looks so beauitful." She was on Shigure's computer, looking at different oceans and beaches in the state. Shigure was sitting in the room, a few feet from her, he was looking through different books. He would merely glance every once and while when she'd gasp from amazment. He couldn't lie, California was very beautiful. Though Tokyo had it's own beaches, not many people surfed, at least not like the ones in the many videos Tohru had watched. "Look, Shigure!" She pointed. It was an image of San Francisco at night. The Golden Gate Bridge was lit up, the entire city was beautiful. But he wouldn't give in.

"Eh." He commented. "Last time I heard only whores lived there." He cursed himself. Tohru had an affair. . .did that make her a whore? She didn't really know, but the words hurt enough.

"Nice to know you're speaking to me." She quickly exited out of the internet server and dashed out his study to start cooking. It was the only way to get things out of her mind. She would be leaving soon. He placed the book back on his shelf and headed out to her.

"I'm sorry." He came from behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I didn't mean to say that."

"Sure you didn't." She knew he didn't, but the fact he even thought of it was what hurt her.

"You know you don't have to cook dinner. . .anymore." She stopped cutting the vegeitables and turned to him.

"Anymore?"

"Well you know." He leaned against the fridge, looking down at the cutting board. "You're not really a resident of this house anymore." She still had a week, how did that not make her a resident. "You're more like a guest." She felt her heart drop. First she was whore for wanting to move and now she was nothing but a guest.

"Oh okay." She dropped the knife into the kitchen sink. "So than that would explain why I'm a whore. Because I'm paying you for staying her with my body." He starred at her, is that how it came out.

"What?" He said, pulling her back to him when she attempted to walk away. "That's not what I said."

"Well it's more than what you've said to me for these past five days!" She yelled at him. She didn't mean to raise her voice, but the way he was acting, it just wasn't fair to her. She had a good reason for why she was leaving, why couldn't he see that.

"What are you talking about." He tugged her back again. "I talk to you all the time."

"You've talked at me and around me for these last days." She commented. "But to me, and of anything you were really thinking or feeling, no." He couldn't come up with a quick enough answer before she continued. "You don't even touch me anymore. Wouldn't it be easier for you to just tell me you don't want me anymore?"

"Don't-" Jerking from his grip, she stalked off towards the stair case. He nearly grabbed at her before he stopped himself. "Where did you get that idea from?"

She stopped at the bottom of the staircase, placing one hand on the railing for support. "Every night." She spoke softer now. Her voice was at it's usual pitch. Sweet and soft like an angel and it killed him. "You sleep with me, but you don't touch me. And if I turn to you, you turn away."

"What am I suppose to do? Why make love to someone when it's obvious their's no love there."

She shot him a glare. "Anxious for me to be gone is what you are." Her words were all wrong, so he matched her glare. Both their eyes were full of fury and set to kill. "And you're tired of me, you just don't know how to say so."

In three little strides he was now a few inches from her. "What, you want me to feel pity for your grandfather? Well I won't!" His words shot through her. "You're fucking leaving me Tohru, you're leaving everything that we have behind."

"Funny!" She laughed harshly, "when you had just claimed a few seconds ago that we have absolutely NOTHING!" Forming a fist with his hand, he slammed it hard against the wall. "If you expect me to feel bad for you, Shigure." Her eyes had daggers flying directly at him. As if his heart were the target. "You expect me to feel, 'oh poor Shigure has nothing. I'll never survive without him' well you're wrong! I was fine before you entered my life and I'll be fine without you!"

The daggers hit their target right in the bullseye. He felt it slowly bleed and drop. He sucked in a deep breath, "Such cool words for someone who claims their in love?"

"I am in love with you, Shigure." She said, but he wouldn't believe it. "Unlike you, I'm not afraid to tell you."

"You don't understand." He pointed at her. "Growing up with my family, saying and expressing our emotions wasn't something we did in the Sohma household."

She huffed at his words, tears began to form. He was lying. "Well it seemed pretty easy for you when you told it to Akito." Yet again, her words shot him, hard. "Everything for you is easier with Akito isn't it?" She yelled again. She couldn't control her emotions anymore. She was done controlling them, the more she controlled them, the more they fought to be unleashed. "If you don't and never did love me, Shigure, then telling my grandfather that I wanted to leave tomorrow was the best decision I've ever made!" His eyes widened. He thought he had more time. Her decision was to leave while he was still sleeping. Sneak out so the pain of saying goodbye would never occur.

"Tohru. . ." He whispered her voice, but before he could reach out for her, she had dashed up the stairs and into her room. To sob out her pain. He closed his eyes. He needed to talk with her, he needed to straighten things out with her. He refused to let it end this way. Instead of knocking, he just walked in. It was his house after all, and he knew if he knocked she'd forbid him to come in anyways.

She had her face in her pillow, sobbing into it. It was the only thing she had to comfort her. Boxes were scattered through out her tiny room. All taped up, her walls were bare. Clothes packed away in suitcases. She was leaving tomorrow and he needed to let her know."I don't know what you want, Tohru."

She slowly sat up, rubbing the wet tears from her eyes. She looked up at him. He had no idea how hard it was for her to talk the way she was. She hated yelling, that was one thing that never happened when she was a child. Her parents were always happy, she never had to endur this kind of pain. "I want you to touch me and love me. . .like the first time we made love." Her eyes were sincere, her voice was soft. "But if you have no desire for me anymore it would hurt much less if you would just tell me so."

He did want her. He had wanted her every night, but he was just too scared to. He walked to her, bending down on one knee, he cupped her face. "I can't breathe without wanting you."

She cupped his, "Then have me now. In the daylight."

Defeated, he bowed his head. "I just thought it'd be easier if we didn't."

"Is it?"

He looked up at her, meeting her gaze. "No." He starred at her beautiful chocolate glazed eyes. "I've suffered every night lying beside you and not touching you."

"There was no need."

"I thought there was." He traced a finger around her perfect lips. They were puffy from crying, as was her eyes. She leaned forward, their eyebrows hit one another. They starred into each others eyes, before he finally made the first move. His lips lightly brushed over hers. He kissed her, pleasure hit her like a bullet. She wanted it like the first time, but after making love for a week straight, he didn't believe he could handle the first day. He needed her and craved her and he was determined to show her, even if it meant they would be sore after.

He laid her down to the blanket and captured her mouth. He flicked open the front clasp of her bra and took her silkily into his mouth. Tormented, exhilarated, she pressed him closer. Beneath him her movements were frantic. He was undoing her with tongue and teeth and lips. On a groan of his own, Shigure pressed his lips to her flesh, letting his hand roam lower now, over the curve of her waist and hips.

Weak, she laid a hand on his back. The muscles tightly bunched. "I need a minute." But his mouth was skimming over her rib cage. He tugged the skimpy panties over her hips, and nipped. He was tearing at his jeans as he took his mouth on a sprinting journey up her torso, over her heaving breasts, and back up to her trembling lips.

She cried out in triumph as he drove himself hard and deep into her. The orgasm rolled through her like a wave of lava, leaving her shaken and scorched. Mindlessly she matched his pace, her body exploded, shattered , then went glowingly limp. She heard him say her name, felt him coil, then shudder, then drop his weight ontoher.

"I'll get off you in a minute," he murmured.

"Please don't."

He smiled and rubbed his face in her hair. It was an old habit that he felt would never die. He was once a dog after all, all dogs loved to cuddle and rub their face against things. It was in his nature. She giggled a bit, when he began to nip at her neck, breathing near her ear, sending shivers down her back. He rolled over, landing on his back, he kept her on top of him, so he could look up at her. She smiled down at him.

Feeling a chill, he pulled her sheets over their naked bodies. After a few mintues of kissing, it was as if a sleeping spell had hit them. She had fallen fast asleep. Her arms were wrapped around his neck. He knew he was still inside her, but he refused to move. Everything felt right at that moment. They were together once again, they were in each others arms, and for the first time since they both became single, when they made love their was actual love shared between them. Though he felt rather tired, he couldn't get himself to close his eyes, he knew when he would wake up the next day. . .she'd be leaving him.

He knew he should be fighting for her, but he couldn't. He didn't have any good reasons for her to stay. Sure he could say 'because I'm here,' but she would simply shoot him down. He knew the three words that would keep her by his side, but he couldn't seem to get himself to say it aloud. He'd said I love you before, but that was before. This is now, and for some reason, his mouth, heart, and brain weren't functioning right together. His heart and brain said it, but his mouth just wouldn't speak it. He could yell, ' I LOVE YOU ' all he wanted in his brain, but she'd never hear it.

She tightened her grip around his neck, moving a bit, he moved inside her, causing her to moan. He bit his lip. "I love you, Shigure." She mummbled through her sleep.

He felt his eyes begin to burn. By the next morning he would become her past as she would to him. Below a whisper, he moved his lips next to her ear and spoke. "I love you, too." Escaping him, the tears began to fall freely as he finally allowed his eyes to close.

chinky-FIED note: WOO! Longest chapter I've ever written XD 2,000 words :) Hope you all enjoyed. The ending is so close, I hope you guys like it ;D