You all are awesome with the continued support! I could not ask for better readers and followers=) I'm really glad you enjoyed the last chapter; I truly enjoyed writing it! Here's the next chapter a bit earlier than my usual night time posting. I hope you enjoy it!
To answer one reviewer's question, Jane at this point does have very good use of her hands; she's not at 100% yet, but she's able to use them to please Maura. Sorry if I didn't get into specifics last chapter, but now you know;)
*** this chapter has a mention of physical abuse and rape. it doesn't go into detail, but please skip if there are any potential triggers***
Jane was staring off into the distance, not focusing on anything around her.
"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you today?" Hannah observed her patient for any reaction.
When Jane realized that Hannah had asked her a question she snapped out of her current state and turned to give her attention to the older woman. "Sorry, what was that?"
"You seem distracted today; like something is bothering you. I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it."
Jane clenched her jaw, her anger evident to the therapist. "I was just thinking about Maura, about something we talked about the other morning."
Hannah nodded for her to continue.
"We were talking about our monsters, well her monster really. Mine didn't come up. She told me about a person of her past that she hadn't told me about. It was someone who mistreated her and physically abused her. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I wish I could come across him so I could give him the beating he deserves."
"Do you think that's the way to handle this situation Jane? Violence with violence?"
Jane rolled her eyes. "Normally, I'd go to the shooting range for some target practice and fire a few rounds. Can't do that at the moment. Still, even if I could do that, I don't think that would be nearly as satisfying."
"Was this something that happened recently?" Hannah questioned.
"No, it wasn't. It happened over ten years ago."
"I see. Does Maura still talk about it often?"
"No, she doesn't talk about it at all. I was the one that pried. I don't think she would've brought it up in detail if I hadn't asked."
"How did it come up?"
"She told me that I chased her monsters away… the time we've been together, we've shared our history, parts of it anyway. She had never mentioned something like that before, and so I told her that I would be there for her if she ever wanted to talk about it."
"It seems to me like Maura has found the way to move on from her past," Hannah observed.
"We didn't go into too much detail; I didn't think it was the right moment. She seemed perfectly fine, still does. It was just when she said that phrase; it made me think that it still bothers her. It has to still bother her for her to bring it up, no?"
"I'm sure that it's something that comes to mind now and again, traumatic events such as those are not just forgotten, at least not for most people. There are some that have the ability to black out the bad parts of their life, but most just learn to live with it. It seems like she's done just that, with the possible resurgence of memories here and there. Though that's not a pleasant thing to think about, I think it perfectly normal. If it's something that clearly were to bother her or affect her on a more noticeable level, I would recommend she seek some kind of professional help for it."
"Honestly, I don't think it bothers her nearly as much as it bothers me."
"Is there another reason, aside from her being your girlfriend, why this bothers you so much?"
"What do you mean? Of course there are other reasons!"
"Jane, do you think that this is bothering you more than it should because it takes you away to deal with someone else's 'monsters' instead of your own?"
Anger coursed through Jane's body quicker than lightning. "Excuse me?!"
"I don't mean to upset you; I just think it's a valid question. You've yet to talk about Charles Hoyt, which is the reason you're here to begin with. Yet here you are, talking about a person who disappeared from your girlfriend's life long ago."
"Hoyt is no longer a threat to me; the man is rotting in prison!"
"Do you believe Maura to still be in danger?"
"… No, I don't think so. Not from him anyway."
"Do you think there could be danger coming to her from someone else?"
"Inadvertently, it could. My job has its risks; you never know when a psychopath goes after your family… he hurt them… raped and murdered them, and enjoyed doing it. That sick fuck tortured so many women, men too, before killing them. The last woman, the one we managed to save; she'll live with the nightmares of what she went through forever, nothing will ever be able to take that away. Had it not been for Korsak, my partner at the time, he probably would've killed me too."
"You said it yourself, he's rotting in jail."
"Yes, he is. He'll never see another day outside a prison. "
"The nightmares you mentioned, you're not able to remember them still, is that correct?"
"Yes."
"I think that the root of the problem lies within those nightmares."
"How can I get cleared if I'm not even able to remember what they're about?"
Hannah waited a few seconds before speaking once more. "Have you ever heard of hypnotherapy?"
"Hypnotherapy? As in hypnosis?" Jane asked.
"Precisely."
"I've heard of hypnosis before, but I've never tried it."
"There is a way that we can put you under a state of hypnosis and see if your subconscious can remember any details that may be of benefit to your healing."
"How do I even know if it's gonna work? I've never done this before."
"Well not everyone is susceptible to hypnosis, but we can always try it. There is a higher chance of success if you're willing; you are always in control. We can start with something simple, like getting a description of your apartment. That would be able to provide us with an idea of whether or not this could work."
"I don't know; I'm not entirely thrilled about reliving anything related to Hoyt."
"I can understand that Jane. We can try other approaches, work with what you do remember and your experience with Hoyt in which you were injured. Believe me though, there is a reason behind you having these nightmares, and why your subconscious is keeping you from remembering them. Give it until our next session to think it over. We can decide where to go from there."
Hey babe, how's your day going so far?
It's been a long day; I've had back to back surgeries since the beginning of my shift. I'm more than likely going to be home late today.
I'm done for the day; I'll be waiting for you. I love you :*
I love you too, baby. :*
Maura entered her house much later that evening. She went into the living room expecting to find Jane but upon further inspection she realized the brunette was nowhere to be found. Puzzled, she made her way upstairs.
"Jane?" she called out as she climbed the stairs. There was no reply. Walking towards her room, she could hear the faint sound of classical music coming from her bedroom. Jane doesn't like classical music, she thought as she walked on. She entered her bedroom to find it empty. Turning to her right, she noticed light coming from her bathroom. She opened the door and instantly smiled at what awaited her.
"Hey beautiful," Jane called out. She was seated on a small stool next to the already filled bathtub. Bath salts of Maura's favorite scents filled the air and lit candles gave the room a welcoming glow. Jane rose, two glasses of wine in her hands. She reached out and handed one to Maura. "I thought you could use one of these," she said as she stepped aside to give Maura room to undress and get in.
"After the day I've had, this is absolutely perfect. Thank you!" Maura cried as she kissed Jane before starting to undress. "Are you joining me?" she asked with an arched, provocative eyebrow.
"I'd love to," Jane replied, voice huskier than usual.
The two women quickly undressed and settled inside the bathtub, with Maura seated in front of Jane. She eased into her lover, with Jane slowly washing away Maura's stress. She leaned down to kiss the blonde on the neck before trailing kisses down her back. "I had a thought today."
"What was that?" Maura asked, completely at ease.
"I was thinking that now that my hands are in much better shape, we could actually go and have a different kind of date."
"That sounds like a very fun idea Jane. What kind of date did you have in mind?"
"I'm not going to tell you."
"Another surprise?" Maura questioned.
"I thought you liked surprises," Jane smirked.
"I love them," Maura agreed. "I can't wait to see what you have planned for us," she said as she closed her eyes and let Jane continue with her ministrations.
So I'm thinking we can have some fluff and then some angst. I don't want to go overboard with stressing Jane out lol. Now that she has relatively full use of her hands, any ideas on what their next date should be? I have one in mind, let's see if anyone can guess;)