(Skyshadow54: Never ever on both accounts, and I'm so glad you're enjoying this story.

TheDoctor98HUN: Thank you for your support)

Airachnid's POV

"... condition is far worse than I originally suspected…"

"... did the best you could…"

"... and…"

"What is it, old friend?"

"... Her spark… giving off a strange energy signature… like nothing I've ever seen…"

I caught snippets of a conversation as I came to. The speakers, I determined, were the Prime and the medic. My processor was sluggish and I seemed to be in a perpetual state of drifting back into recharge, at least, until I heard light pedesteps approaching. Arcee.

"Would you like to see her?" I hear the medic ask, "She's stabilized and well enough for visitors though not conscious yet."

I begin to struggle against the restraints of sleep that try to pull me under. Yes. I need to see Arcee. She was so angry with me, but I can't recall any details as to why. It doesn't matter. I'll apologize and then we-

"No."

The motorcycle femme's sharp reply drives a knife through my spark.

"But you've not visited her since she entered the medbay and that was a little over a week and a half ago," I hear the medic try again with a hint of incredulity in his voice.

"I can't. Not now," is Arcee's blunt response. Her pedesteps recede before there is the unmistakable hum of a Cybertronian transforming. An engine flairs into existence and the vehicle speeds away. Arcee is gone…

… Arcee didn't want to… She refused to… But I thought we were… … But I thought… … … What did I do wrong?... … …

I'm blindsided by a wave of agony emanating from my spark as lethargie overtakes all my systems. I close my optics as I raise my right arm and press my palm against my forehelm. It would be better for everyone if I was dead. If I had died in place of Wildclaw. My brother would have brought light and joy to this galaxy. I bring only misery and terror. Perhaps, if he had lived, the war might already be over. A crimson glow pulses through the dark medbay…

Suddenly, the Prime is by my side as he wrenches my servo away from my helm. The blaster bolt I had been powering up fires into the steel of the berth. The metal is charred and I feel a bit disappointed the Prime stopped me before numbness overrides all emotion.

His optics meet mine and I see the boundless grief that lies there though his expression remains stoic. He knows that I heard Arcee's decline to visit. "Let me go," I intone, "Let me die." For the first time, it is the Prime who breaks optic contact.

"You are a danger to yourself in your current state of mind," he rumbles, "I'm sorry, but this is for your own safety."

Before I realize what's happening the Prime activates the berth's restraint system. I don't bother putting up any resistance. Afterall, what would be the point? The Prime begins to walk away as monotonous, bitter laughter spills out of my voice box.

"So I'm… a prisoner of the autobots… once more," my voice has slowed and I can't seem to string more than a few words together at a time, but who cares? Not the Prime, not Arcee, and certainly not myself.

The Prime stiffens at my words. His imposing silhouette is contrasted by the dark of the medbay and the light of the base as I see him close his optics. My cackles increase in volume, but I'm still able to hear what he says before he leaves. "This wasn't how it was supposed to end…"

My laughter continues for hours until I eventually wear myself out. I sink into a restless recharge full of dreams about death and destruction, but, unfortunately, never my own… … …

I awoke next to the near constant stream of speech of the human female. I twisted my neck as well as I could what with the shackle around my throat to find her sitting on the berth beside my helm. I blink blearily at her as my processor struggles to follow the girl who's clearly oblivious to the fact I was not conscious for the first half of her spiel.

"-overheard Optimus stating he was going to formally invite you onto Team Prime even if you pretty much already are a member! You're going to need to get your decepticon symbol switched for the autobots' and you'll need to find your own human partner! I have some suggestions if you need recommendations! And if Bulkhead's ever busy on a mission or something then you can fly me to school as a helicopter! The teachers will totally flip!"

"I'm sorry… to disappoint…," I murmur, "... but I don't… think I'll be… joining the autobots… anytime soon…" I strain my processor for her name, but come up with nothing.

"Huh, why not?" she asks as she finally notices my shackes, "What… Why…?" For possibly the first time in her life the Japanese girl is at a loss for words. "I don't understand…"

"The Prime… has deemed me too… hazardous."

"That's ridiculous!" the girl exclaims, "You would never hurt me or any of the autobots!"

"True… enough," I agree, " The risk is… to myself."

"You didn't…," she whispers as dismay blooms in her eyes, "... Did you?"

"I… attempted to… offline myself"

"Why would you do that?" the girl demanded, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears, "Life is great!"

"I hope… that attitude… of yours… never changes," I whisper. I try to smile at her, but my lip components don't even twitch. I remember caring fondly for the Japanese teenager. I have no desire to see her cry.

"You'll get better though," a spark of hope appears in the girl's eyes, "Ratchet can fix you, right?"

"Of… course," I lie, and, yet, the girl believes me explicitly. I don't deserve such trust.

"Alright," she swipes frantically at her eyes and when she looks at me next there is no sign that she had been on the brink of tears. "I'm gonna go tell Bulkhead that you'll be fine. He's been worried about you. We all have been."

The girl jumps off the medical berth and waves to me before departing. Soon, very soon she will have a rude awakening when reality comes and the Pit claims my spark. I am damaged and no medic can repair me. My time in this world is coming to a end, but I do not fear death. I merely hope that when my mangled spark does give out, the Japanese teenager does not dwell on me long…

My audios detect a faint sound and it drags me from a recharge plagued with nightmares. The noise comes again and I glance around the medbay. It definitely wasn't a machine, but there is no one in sight.

I wait and a moment later it comes again, directly to the left of my helm. I shift my gaze to find a child sitting with her back to me and I was positive she hadn't been there a second ago. Her usual wavy brunette mane hangs limp and she's trembling. The girl carries an air of exhaustion as though she's not slept well in many months.

I open my mouth to call her name, but her designation is just one of the many that eludes me. The girl turns towards me and it's the first time I've seen her when she wasn't grinning. Instead, a tear spills from her luminous, golden eye and she struggles to meet my optics. "I'm so sorry," she bursts out, "This is all my fault!"

"Whatever… are you… talking about?"

"I should never have taken the darkness from your spark! Then maybe you wouldn't be… wouldn't be…" the child trails off as another wave of sobs overtakes her.

"No…," I contradict her, "I remember being… happy… more so than… I'd been… in a long… time… I wouldn't… change anything…"

"But at least you would live," she argues.

"My existence… would have remained… meaningless."

The girl scowls but doesn't counter my statement. Silence reigns and the child stares at the medbay's wall unable to bare the sight of me, I presume. There is nothing I can say to bring her comfort for she knows the truth. I can only advise her the harden her heart.

"Do not… mourn for me… I am… not worth… your tears…"

The girl's frown deepens. "Don't ever say that!" she reprimands me as her eye flashes scarlet, "I chose you because you deserved a second chance that you otherwise would never have gotten, but this wasn't how it was supposed to end."

"You… make life… sound like… a fairytale."

The child is quiet before abruptly resting a delicate hand upon my sealed sparkchamber. Her fingers are cool and her eye returns to its natural coloring, "The least I can do is take you pain."

"What… pain?" I blurt out, "I feel… nothing."

The girl appears concerned by my declaration and opens her mouth to say something when the medbay door slides open. A human enters and I hear their footsteps approach the berth where I lay. I blink slowly and the child is gone just as a teenager moves into my line of sight. His presence surprises me. The raven-haired boy lingers by my right servo unwilling to come any closer and he stares at his feet. "... Jack…"