And we're back again! I'm glad folks were glad to see Ron's triumphant reentrance to the story, because he's a hoot and a half to write. Hopefully this installment will go out without any problems… FFN was doing some weird hiccupy things all day and it looked either like no one was able to access the story for about 16 hours between midnight Tuesday and this evening, or the traffic counter simply shut itself off. Ye Old Legal stuff: Kim Possible, Shego, Ron Stoppable, Yori, Rufus, Doctor Anne Possible, the Tweeb, the wonderful Senor Senior Sr and the less wonderful SSJ and all other characters borrowed from the wonderful KP Universe are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations. Although use in this context may be considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc. Also, this story takes place at a time at which all characters shown should be considered to be over the legal age of 18… except, obviously Wade and the Tweebs.
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AT THE CENTERFOLD OF THE STORM
Chapter 21
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"So how exactly did I end up naked again?" Ron moaned.
"You're not naked Ron!" Monique groaned in response, and the naked mole rat on her shoulder seemed to share her dismay. "You're just not wearing a shirt, and the pants are baggier than you're used to. I had to come up with a costume on the spur of the moment and the Arabian Nights theme popped into my head."
"Yeah… well, it feels pretty naked to me," Ron grumbled, ruffling the wide sash around his waist again. The last time he'd posed for a calendar it had been in a western shirt and hat… an open shirt, true, but he at least understood that look. This looked… well, at least the black Star-trek boots were kinda cool. "And exactly what are we doing this for again?"
"We're testing the focus-tracking system that Jim and Tim developed," Anna repeated, indicating the odd multi-ported device attached between her camera's lens and body. She'd mentioned it in passing before, but she was quickly learning that while Kim's friend had an absolutely stunning physique, his mental focus sometimes seemed to be wandering around in a parking lot on another planet. "We were supposed to do a set of tests with Kim and Shego this afternoon, but the doctors want Kim to stay in bed and under observation for another day."
And rightly so, Anna thought. The girl had actually still planned to come in the day after being shot! Although, in retrospect, that attitude did serve to make Ron's odd mental processes make a little more sense in context. In fact, it was probably a survival mechanism he'd developed while tagging around the world with a girl who didn't seem to know what danger was.
"And you DID ask what you could do to help out while she was grounded," Monique was reminding Ron, the mole-rat mimicking her actions with such surprising speed and skill that it was like a split-second delayed instant replay. "Do you want me to call her and find out who else she'd recommend? It's just going to stress her out more you know."
"NO!" Ron yelped. "No. I'll do it. I just don't understand what you want me to do."
"Well," Anna explained patiently, watching Monique struggle to keep her face calm. "What Kim and Shego want to try is to shoot a couple of sequences while they're fighting… or whatever you want to call what they do these days. So, before we get too invested in the idea, we need to see if the boy's device really tracks quickly and accurately enough that I can depend on it to handle all the focusing. And in order to do that, we need you to do the same kind of thing that they do. A lot of running. Some jumping. And, of course, fighting."
"Fighting?" The color suddenly bleached out of Ron's face. "Oh no, wait… you don't mean… please tell me that Kim didn't set me up to fight SHEGO?"
"No, she had some other business to attend to," Anna smiled as Monique nearly passed out from an acute case of hyper-giggles. "But I think you'll find yourself adequately challenged."
"That's right, GAIJIN," came a snarling voice from behind them. Ron turned and his eyes boggled almost completely out of his head as Yori came in from the designated dressing area where she'd been sequestered with Cyn. The Japanese girl was wearing quite a large amount of black leather, which somehow, still managed to show a LOT more of Yori than Anna had expected the soft spoken girl to be comfortable with.
She should have known better. A girl who hung around with THIS crowd? She feared nothing.
And, although Anna wasn't personally into such things, she had to admit the girl handled her dominatrix gear with suspiciously professional aplomb.
"Prepare to be dominated, Stoppable," Yori grinned evilly as she cracked her whip menacingly at Ron. "And I should warn you, Kim-san was so kind as to explain to me what a 'piece of honey' means in your curious American slang… and I am NOT AMUSED!"
"boo…yah?" gleeped Ron, finally realizing that Kim had perfectly set up her riposte to his Treehouse joke. He was doomed.
"And let the games begin!" Shouted Monique!
"Booyah" Added Rufus, who appeared oddly and completely delighted at this development.
Yes, Anna decided after wards. If what the boys called the "Possible E.N. Focus system" (and what everyone else called the TTD, for Tweeb Tracking Device) could keep up with Ron as Yori ran him around the huge empty area, it ought to be able to keep up with Kim and Shego.
Speaking of which, she wondered how SHEGO'S mission was working out?
#######
"So what do you think?" Shego purred as she rolled back and spread out alluringly across the wide, round bed, her smoldering eyes focused solely on the stunned redhead. "Pretty hot stuff, don't you think?"
"I don't know, Shego…" Anne replied nervously, forcing herself to look at the headboard rather than the attractive young woman splayed out so provocatively over the luxurious red satin sheets. "I'd feel a lot more comfortable with this if Kim…"
"It's fine, Mom, and you're the one who said I couldn't go out," Kim's voice popped in, with only the tiniest hint of electronic distortion. "Shego, try and behave. Furlong's is a nice, respectable store and if you get thrown out, we'll have to get the new spreads and linens at SmartyMart. Now mom, hold the Shegofone up higher so I can see if the bedsheets match my girlfriend."
"Is this really necessary?" Anne whispered to her daughter, who was still half the city away in her hospital bed. Maybe she should have allowed the girls to go out shopping for their bedding… it had only been a little operation… And other shoppers in the store were WATCHING this!
"Um, doy!" Shego pointed out, demonstrating that her hearing was as exceptional as her flexibility. "The furniture we picked out is coming in this evening and I'm NOT putting that grungy old sleeping bag on a $3,000.00 mattress after it's been sitting on that lair-floor."
To Anne's even greater embarrassment, Shego pulled the top of her blouse open quite a bit more than was socially acceptable and lay with the expanse of bared skin next to the expensive fabric. "But as you can see, I kinda clash with certain colors. I know you had your heart set on red, Princess, and I love the feel of this 300 count satin, but doesn't the shade make me look a little muddy?"
"Yeah…." "Yes." Kim and her mother spoke simultaneously.
"And we already nixed the white, so do we go with the black or the green?" Shego smiled, secure in the knowledge that she'd look perfect against either.
"I don't know…" Kim's disembodied voice murmured out loud. "Hey Mom, why don't YOU go sit on the bed with the green ones so we can see how I'll look on them?"
"Kimmie…" Anne wailed. She was now at least 80% sure they were intentionally milking this out just out of spite.
"Well I COULD use the video-projector to screen myself there," Kim supposed. "Of course, I'm wearing a hospital gown with no backside. Do you think Furlong's could ban you for showing your ass if it isn't really… oh stop hyperventilating, Mom, I'm JOKING!"
"Trust me, you'll look good enough to eat on either, Princess," Shego seemed to show a bit of mercy… at least that's what Anne thought until she caught the double entendre, whereupon her gasp left her mouth agape. "But it'll probably be a lot easier to accessorize around the black."
"Okay, black it is," Kim agreed. "And now on to the FUN part! The ceiling mirrors!"
Anne whimpered. This was going to be a really, really long day.
#######l
"Oooo…" Ron moaned softly, this day had SO not gone as he'd thought it would. Every muscle in his body had been worked to within a hairsbreadth of his endurance.
Then a broad grin broke out across his face as he looked at the beautiful young woman curled up next to him. They'd been doing the back and forth dance for almost two months now, neither quite sure of where the other stood on the subject of…
Hmmm… which euphemism would be best? Doing the naughty? Nah… Bumping uglies? No way, there was nothing ugly about Yori and never would be, even when they were both a 103 and wrinkly. No, wait, he had it:
The beast with two backs!
Yes, that summed it up nicely.
He'd always suspected that he'd have some strange bed habits, given the monkey powers that lurked within him, but Yori's sudden discovery of her own… aggressive nature had resulted in something that had probably left the people in the rooms to all sides of his wondering if a murder was occurring.
Well, not in the room just to the left of his. That HAD been Yori's.
But not anymore.
Wow.
As if sensing the pressure of his adoring look upon her, Yori's own chocolate-kissed eyes opened slowly, and the shy smile on her face started Ron's emotions racing again.
"So…" She whispered softly. "It is done."
"No," Ron reached up with his freer hand… the other still being trapped under Yori's lithe and wonderfully limber body… and gently caressed her face. "It's not done. It's just beginning."
The innocent blush that suffused Yori's cheeks was betrayed by the wicked glint that danced in her dazzling gaze. And the small hand that had somehow found it's way around his…
"Ah. It would seem you speak the truth." She sighed. "And I did promise Kim-san to dominate you quite fully. Why must you make my task so… hard?"
"It's only as hard as you want to make it," Ron groaned.
"Indeed," She agreed, indicating that she was prepared for a rather extreme level of difficulty. "It was written long ago that my path and yours were meant to be shared. Sensai told me this shortly after we first met; but for so long I feared that it would be only as an ally."
Her misty orbs were soft and fluid as she worshiped his face with an expression of awe and wonder. "But I had hoped… so hoped… "
Ron's response was merely a soft exhale of pleasure as his own hands began working their own form of monkey magic. And then Yori's own sounds joined his again, as the two who had so longed for each other became one once more.
Next door, sitting in Yori's room where he'd sought refuge from the… excitement… engendered in the aftermath of the photoshoot, Rufus let out a deep sigh of contentment. He'd begun to wonder if his dearest friend would ever find the mate he'd so deserved.
Finally! That task was completed! Which meant…
Rufus clicked on the keyboard of the in-room TV internet device and scanned down the SmartyMart web page.
What luck! A sale on molerats! Now which stores handled the females?
######
"Why are we running so far behind schedule?" Kim Possible snarled. "Can't you get ANYTHING right? What IS the sitch?"
No, Junior amended, bottling in his irritation. Not Kim Possible, Faux-Kim. Except, that as each day passed, the difference between the two seemed to become less and less… Even before the abortive museum snatch two days ago, Bonnie had become totally obsessed with studying tapes of "herself" and comparing how "she" had been to her current… could such a thing even be called a performance anymore?
WHY had he ever let the woman see the rough footage of her lowering herself into the museum? Of course she wasn't as smooth as the real Kim, but she'd really been surprisingly good for someone who'd never actually done it before. Junior remembered the first time Shego had shown him the correct way to rappel and what a mess he'd made of it. Faux-Kim had done so much better, but on seeing how sloppy it had looked on the video, she'd immediately insisted on going to one of his father's warehouses and practicing over and over. At least he'd made a little lemonade from the yellow lemons by stealthily putting up a green cloth and surveillance camera so that footage of her practicing could be keyed over different backgrounds, but the more often he let her roam outside his secret lair, the more likely it became that she… and his entire plan… would be discovered.
He should have just forbid it, but her increasing "Kim-ness" was making it harder and harder to steer her thoughts in the direction he wanted. Worse, she was starting to get… confrontational.
And unfortunately, the truth was that things WERE running behind schedule. WAY behind schedule. Especially when it came to pulling together the next phase of the operation. It had been bad enough that Junior had lost most of second unit team he had hired in Kālpanika, but those had at least been local thugs who had no idea who was hiring them. What he'd never anticipated was that, after finding out what had happened to those thugs in the debacle, several members of his main unit had also quietly slipped away into the night. And they'd had the nerve to do it AFTER cashing their pay vouchers!
Okay, they were actually money orders he bought from the convenience store on the next island. He'd never paid much attention to his father's lectures on how to launder money. Eventually his father was going to wonder about the charges on his account, but given that Junior often spent €30,000 on clothing in a single month, he could probably slip it by as long as he… sigh… resisted buying new shoes for the next month or so. The aggravating thing is that he knew he'd have no problems at all if he could just use regular Henchco employees… but that would be giving everything away. If there was one thing he was sure of, Jack Hench would sell Junior's skin in a second if he thought it would curry favor with Global Justice.
"I'm going stir-crazy, Junior," 'Kim' was still complaining. "Can't I go steal back at least ONE more statue or something?"
"I am sorry Kim," he told his faux-Kim with a smile that proved what a marvelous actor he would be when he finally got his chance. She didn't suspect at all how, in his mind, she was being hung upside down over a charcoal grill as he prepared to flay her alive. "But we should have another attempt ready to go in…. um… soon. Can you not practice the ropes some more?"
"I'm sick of that," 'Kim' muttered. "And if my climbing skills have been so badly affected by what they did to me, what about the rest of them? I need to get some PROFESSIONAL assistance."
Junior flinched. He'd tried offering Bon-Kim his advice on the mountain climbing gear and found he had forgotten some important things. Fortunately one of his grips had some experience and had offered to give 'Kim' some pointers… for an extra fee, of course. But he had to keep her mind occupied and off thinking about the general strangeness of his plan and her situation. For just a little longer, anyway…
"What do you want to practice now?" Junior sighed. He was either going to have to make another credit card charge, or e-bay his prized collection of designer spats… but the payoff would be worth it.
"Krav Maga!" The girl who wasn't Kim Possible smiled with a frighteningly familiar grin. "Please and thank you."
#######l
Senor Senior Senior stopped and looked at his computer screen again. Yes, the amounts of the unexplained charges he'd just noted on his Plutonium card were a perfect match for the amounts that that had been automatically drafted from his checking account. But what had he bought to incur such charges? The problem with the Plutonium card, specifically designed for supervillains, was that all transactions made on it were ALMOST untraceable. The identity of the parties to both sides of every transaction, going in and out, was only actually available for a period of 12 hours, and then, like clockwork, the account rewrote itself, completely wiped the media on which it was stored, wiped the media again, and then rewrote itself again, before starting anew. It was a great benefit for those who were intent on great evil… or so the people at the Friendly, Friendly Bank and Trust had assured him… but unfortunately, while it made it very difficult for someone ELSE to trace what you were doing, it was quite inconvenient when you couldn't remember what you had spent the money on. And like many older men, Senor Senior Sr. had a great fear of memory loss. At his age, all he had were his memories. Well, those and a few hundred billion dollars and a son who might someday not be a total disgrace. Maybe.
Wait. His son. He vaguely remembered getting an application to put Junior down for a secondary account under his… yes, last Christmas.
And at that exact second, a charge suddenly appeared on the screen. It was Junior's account all right, and it was billed to… SlimDandy's Snack and Pack? Ah, yes. The convenience store that made the horrid blueberry slushy drinks to which Junior was so addicted. SSS had tried one once and not only had it tasted more like window cleaner than fresh blueberries, it had turned his tongue, teeth and expensive dental implants a disgusting shade of teal that had taken a week of brushing to remove.
And then Senor Senior looked at the total amount of the charge.
€60,000
Senor Senior's bushy white brows rose in surprise. THAT was an awful lot of blueberry slushies.