Brooke stayed with Lucas the whole day, sitting by his bedside and encouraging his recovery.
Finally, when Lucas fell asleep, Brooke slipped out of his room. Karen, who was napping on a nearby chair, rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"What time is it?"
"It's close to 9:00. The visiting hours end soon." Brooke informed.
"Oh, okay, I guess I'll just go in and see Lucas… Brooke go home," she whispered touching her elbow lightly, "Get some rest, it has been a long day,"
Brooke nodded. As Karen watched the usually hyper girl walk down the hall toward the elevators, Karen felt guilt creep up inside her. Brooke looked so lonely, and sad. Since their little conversation earlier, it seemed like she hadn't seen the dimple on Brooke's cheek. Brooke had gone in to Lucas, been an encouraging girlfriend, but something was lost.
When Brooke was out of her sight, she went in to see Lucas. Her heart broke seeing her little boy on a hospital bed looking so helpless. He was fast asleep, and Karen couldn't help but sit beside him and examine his face. He looked so weak, as if he'd been to hell and back. He had just fought death. Then she saw a flicker of a smile, and recognized that smile, she had only seen it directed toward Brooke.
She remembered Brooke's sad eyes as she had given her a weak smile, but then the image quickly changed to the slight smile Lucas had displayed second earlier. She knew it was selfish to cause Brooke pain for her son's happiness, but she truly believed Brooke could be happy with Lucas. Just months earlier Brooke had been head-over-heels for her son, she couldn't have changed that much. She knew it could happen again, if Nathan would just leave her alone. There was something about Nathan; he always had that bad boy persona, who had bedded almost all the girls in Tree Hill, a part of her thought that was why he was pursuing Brooke so much now.
But that thought faded a little, as she remembered the way he had looked at Brooke earlier.
She looked back at Lucas, and felt slightly bitter. Lucas had lost everything to Nathan. While Lucas grew up without his dad, and had to work jobs to help her with money, while Nathan grew up with both parents and everything handed to him in a silver platter. The one thing Lucas had, was true love, he had a girl he loved more then anything and who loved him back. Now Nathan wanted to take that away from him too.
She gave Lucas one last look before she turned down the light, and stepped out of the room.
Brooke had heard many people say, 'I couldn't sleep at all last night', she had said many times herself, but it usually meant it took her awhile to doze off, and when she woke, it felt like she had just closed her eyes, but last night, she had experienced it, literally. Many times she had gotten up and picked up her phone to dial Nathan. Then she'd put the phone out of sight and try to will herself to sleep. But every time she closed her eyes, she would see Nathan's pleading eyes when she had walked away from him. It was like she could feel his hand on her arm trying to stop her from leaving.
Brooke had not let her eyes close for longer then a few seconds all night.
When she finally got out of bed, she went to her bathroom mirror. Sure enough there were faint bags under her eyes. Not only that, but her eyes were slightly puffy from crying many times that night. She groaned, as she washed her face and opened her pony tail.
She brushed and showered, putting on a simple pair of jeans, and a hooded sweater. She grabbed a pair of toast, and held it between her teeth as she put on her jacket and slipped her feet into a pair of boots.
She stepped out into the cool weather. She sighed, remembering how Nathan use to run up her porch, skipping the first and third step. She shook her head, 'stop thinking of him!' she scolded herself, 'You have to be loyal to Lucas, physically and mentally.'
Brooke arrived at the hospital nice and early. She had left her cell phone in the car last night, when she grabbed it to throw it in her purse; she noticed that she had a few missed calls. When she checked them, she immediately regretted it. They were all from Nathan, she resisted calling him back. She also noticed voice mail. She bit her bottom lip as she brought the phone to her ear.
"Brooke… its me Nathan. I waited for you, why didn't you come back? I hope Karen wasn't too hard on you, but don't worry, it doesn't matter what she thinks alright. We can't help that we love each other. Brooke please call me back."
Brooke squeezed her eyes shut, to keep from crying. It broke her heart the way his voice sounded so worried, like he knew that she wasn't going back to him. She wanted to call him back to bad, but resisted, she couldn't do that; she couldn't do that to Lucas… or Karen.
For the next two weeks, she busied herself with taking care of Lucas; she was the perfect supportive girlfriend that Lucas needed. She let Lucas kiss her, and avoided Nathan like the plaque. She didn't pick up his calls, when she saw him in the hospital; she would quickly enter Lucas's room, or start a conversation with Karen. She stuck to Karen or Lucas at the hospital, and ignored Nathan's hurt eyes. She would not get pulled back, and though she had a few weak moments, where she'd want to call him back or talk to him at the hospital, she resisted.
Every time her mind drifted toward Nathan, she would look at Lucas's weak form. She pushed all Nathan thoughts aside, and worked at getting the recovering Lucas better.
Sure, she still cried herself to sleep, but watching Karen's face when Lucas would get worse, gave her strength to do this for her, as well as Lucas. Karen would give her apologetic, guilty smiles every time she caught Brooke with a far away look or a flicker of sadness. Brooke didn't want Karen to feel bad for wanting Lucas to get better, and be happy.
Brooke hated herself for having another urge to call Nathan, to be with Nathan. She hated herself more for hating the fact that Nathan hadn't the past week. She liked being able to see him, even if she couldn't talk to him.
When Haley knocked on Lucas's hospital door, Brooke couldn't help but feel slightly relieved. She felt suffocated, like she needed to get away for awhile. The last two weeks she had spent most of her time in Lucas's room. They had kept Lucas here, to make sure they had all his emotions and movements under control, and everything was being examined. His condition would go up and down, days where he seemed good enough to go home, and other days, where he seemed like he was on his dying bed.
Haley leaning closer to give Lucas a kiss on the cheek, and giving him an encouraging hug.
"You know, I miss having my best friend follow me around everywhere," she joked.
"Ha, I followed you everywhere, as if, more like the other way around," he laughed.
Haley swatted his arm playfully, and greeted Brooke.
Brooke smiled at Haley, and excused herself politely.
Brooke found herself walking toward the balcony. She let the relaxing wind flow through her hair, as she looked up at the sky.
Everything was still so beautiful, the way it had always been, then why did she feel so dead inside?
The world was still going on… then why did she feel like every thing was just a black hole.
Brooke breathed in the fresh air; it was nice to get away from the 'hospital' smell.
For the hundredth time, she thought of Nathan. She wondered what he was doing at that exact time. Was he thinking of her too? Did he feel like calling her?
Brooke's hand curled into a fist, and she let her nails dig into her palm. Stop Thinking Of Him!
Brooke wanted to yell out. She wanted to scream out her guts. It felt like she had so much bundled up inside her.
Why couldn't she stop thinking about Nathan? When she had met Nathan, she was heartbroken over Lucas, why can't she be that Brooke again, the one that only cared about Lucas, and had dreamt of her life with Lucas. The Brooke, whose heart had turned to jelly every time she remembered Lucas's words at the beach,
I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis, you'll see.
Why didn't her heart melt, or a smile break out on her face now?
She knew she still cared for Lucas, he had meant so much to her for more number of years then the number of months she had loved Nathan. She still had a soft spot for him. That's why she had lied to Nathan when he asked her too, and ran to him, when he was hurt. That's why her heart shattered when she found out he was in the hospital… but it wasn't the way it should've been. It wasn't in the undying love way. It was in the sequel love way. They way someone feels after they've loved someone for so long, and moved on.
But Nathan, she knew she loved Nathan in the undying love way, the way one would feel when someone becomes more important to them then their own selves. She felt her eyes water, as she remembered her time with Nathan. It was like a film, all of it coming to her in pictures.
She remembered the night they had spent at the beach that first night, where they had burdened each other with their broken hearts. The morning after, the way she had woken him up and he had chased her. Then their first kiss entered her mind, when she had drunkenly pulled the drunken Nathan on top of her. All the fun and teasing their relationship had began with. She remembered jumping on to his back, the picture she had in a frame under her clothes on the closet shelf. Then, she saw them at the beach, where she had boldly asked him out. She reminisced their first date. How it had been before the call. Brooke cringed, remembering their horrible fight. She felt the corner of lips tug upwards, when she remembered their sweet make up.
Still, all of those memories fighting each other to take over her mind were too much for her. Brooke clutched her forehead, her tears dripping to the floor in front her.
Pull yourself together
Brooke wiped away her tears, and straightened her shirt. She took a deep breath, before turning to go back into the hospital… back to Lucas.
But Brooke froze on the spot as she felt her heart drop.
There Nathan stood, blocking her entrance…
A/n. hmm, this was a very 'thinking' type chapter, where it's mostly the thoughts of some characters. Hope you guys enjoyed, I did update sooner then usual… right:) lol, please read and review! Your reviews honestly encourage me to update fast for you guys. Plus they make me happy!) That review button is really missing you guys.