A screech tore through the air and Kaidan winced at the proximity of the sound, barely having time to squeeze the trigger before a massive Rachni Brood Warrior smashed into his barrier, sending shockwaves of energy pulsing through his protective field. The creature's extra tentacles lashed out and struck his barrier and Kaidan felt another shock reverberate through him as the blue-encased pedipalps flailed at him. He cursed again as the energy sent sparks flying through the area. He had almost forgotten that some of the Rachni had developed biotic potential.
The constant pressure drove him back and he ground his teeth as he clenched his legs, pushing back against the force that was slowly threatening to overwhelm him. His rifle lay forgotten as the continuous strokes made him focus more and more energy into maintaining his barrier under the brutal assault. Without much choice, Kaidan gathered as much energy as he could in his fist and sent out a Lift, tossing his hand up in the process, and barely succeeded in pushing back the fierce warrior, sending it careening back into its fellows.
"Wait! Stop, I need to speak to your queen!" Kaidan yelled during the momentary breather but if they heard or understood, they still gave no sign as they gathered for another assault.
A pair of smaller Rachni, nimble and less heavily-armoured, leapt up from behind the shuttle to land resoundingly atop his barrier bubble and he staggered under the weight. Despite having no relation to his physical strength, his biotic abilities could only withstand so much pressure before they caved in and Kaidan said a silent prayer of thanks that these two hadn't been wrapped up in biotic fields of their own; the resulting mix of energy would have sent a backlash of energy that would have dissipated his barrier while sending a feedback pulse that would have knocked him senseless.
With a heavy heart, Kaidan prepared a Reave to deal with the two attackers, feeling the last of his hope die within him as he considered killing as many of the creatures as he could and make for the shuttle, praying for enough time to get the start-up running so that he could make a break away from these violent beings before they severely injured him or Shepard.
Gathering a ball of energy into his fist, he looked up to get a fix on their scrambling positions but before he could fling his arm out, an imperious voice called out over the screeching, chattering horde.
"Stop!"
Kaidan's fist was cocked back, a mere muscle contraction away from unleashing his biotic attack when the entire horde stilled almost instantly, the twitching, squelching sounds they emitted dying off to becoming more tentative and questioning. A narrow lane seemed to materialize in between the host, the multiple Rachni shouldering one another aside as they cleared a path for the very last thing Kaidan expected to see in a place like this.
An asari stepped out of the darkness and into the ring of light that surrounded him and the Kodiak, dressed in an unusual asari fashion. Everything about her screamed normality and it was all Kaidan could do to keep the awkward questions from tumbling off of his lips. There was nothing extraordinary about her, she had the grace and look of her people, but she strode with confidence and surety as she moved closer and closer to him, stopping less than a foot before his biotic protection. His two attackers had slid off and joined the rest of the Rachni placidly watching the two of them.
"Release your barrier and explain yourself," the asari bit off in careful tones.
Kaidan swallowed convulsively, relief and wariness warring within him, and at last he decided that antagonizing the person who clearly seemed to be in charge wouldn't bode well for him in any case. He ran through the neural mnemonics and felt his barrier dwindle away like a pricked bubble.
"I... My name is Kaidan Alenko," Kaidan gulped, feeling slightly light headed from the sudden use of so much of his biotic abilities in such a short time, "I am here to see the Rachni queen."
The asari cocked her head to the side, almost as if she were listening to something that he couldn't hear, and she tilted her head to the other side, gaze locked firmly onto him before questioning him again. "What need do you have to see our Queen?"
All of Kaidan's carefully prepared platitudes and pleas had been lost in the sudden sweep of battle readiness and he stumbled verbally as he tried to gather up some shards of his former intent. "Uh, I... Well, I need to see the... queen. It's, um, it's an urgent matter. One that I wish to discuss with her... privately."
The asari sneered at him and waved a hand back at the quiet swarm behind her, "Look around you human. You are vastly outnumbered, overmatched and in terrible danger. This is about as private as you can get. To speak to me is to speak to our Queen. Now, out with it."
Kaidan wrestled with his need for secrecy and his fear that what he had come to ask for would be too dear for the Rachni to provide, or beyond their power. But as it was, with the odds stacked against him like this, he had no where else to turn to.
"Your... Queen," Kaidan said haltingly, "I need to speak to her about... indoctrination. I have a... a friend. He's spoken to the Rachni before. John Shepard." There it was, all the cards laid out on the table, no guile nor agendas shielding his desire.
The asari's face broke into swift alarm and shock, before settling back into its firm features and the asari eyed him up and down before opening her mouth to speak. As Kaidan registered her words, he felt shock shoot down his spine at the unexpected answer.
"You are... different from what we expected," the asari said cryptically, "Very well, come. Our Queen will see you and Shepard. We have been expecting you for some time now."
Kaidan struggled not to gape at the idea that the Rachni were holed up in this dark, dank underworld waiting for him to show up with the galaxy's tortured Saviour.
"You were... Wait! You were waiting for me?" Kaidan blurted stupidly.
The asari had already turned away from him and the Rachni were beginning to retreat away, fading into the shadows like ghosts. Four of them were crawling up behind him and attempting to pry open the doors of the shuttle and Kaidan made a hoarse sound as he tried to move them away.
"Do not worry, human Alenko," the asari called back, not stopping in her retreat, "They will carry Shepard with us as we travel. You must be quick, there are other matters afoot."
With a dumb nod, Kaidan pulled out his omni-tool and disengaged the auto-locks, allowing the creatures access to the interior of the Kodiak. With a last, backward glance in Shepard's direction, Kaidan raced forward to catch up with the strange asari, questions already burgeoning his mind.
They trudged on in silence for what had felt like hours but were, in all probability, minutes as Nylea led him through a series of winding passages through the dank, Tuchankan ground. That was as much as he had gotten out of her initially and all his other questions had fallen on deaf ears as he struggled to comprehend the entirety of his desperate situation.
She had led him through what appeared to be a natural-looking entrance of sorts, worn rock and shattered stone at seemingly natural angles, but on closer inspection, he had noticed a series of claw marks marring the surfaces. It had been dark enough that he had tripped about, almost falling onto his face in the first several meters of the entry and had to switch to his armour's light source for a narrow view of this underground world. When he'd asked her who she was and why she was here, all the asari had answered was that her name had once been Nylea and that the rest was none of his concern.
"Is... are we going much farther?" Kaidan asked when the silence grew, yet again, too oppressive.
Nylea didn't deign to respond, carefully picking her way across the terrain. He had turned off his suit's torch to preserve energy when he noticed that there were glowing specks in the distance, along the dark edge that Nylea walked along. With his primary light source removed, it took him awhile to notice the clear patches of bioluminescent fungus that had peppered the area, providing just enough light for him to manoeuvre and walk with little else. The ceiling of the tunnel was a ways above him and there, like tiny, pin-prick stars, shone more orbs of blue-white light that did nothing for him. Probably subterranean creatures or plants that were native to Tuchanka, like the fungus, that thrived in the musty ground. He stubbornly moved forward catching up to the asari as he felt the first dots of sweat oozing out of his skin. He hadn't noticed when it had suddenly gotten so warm.
"We have to hurry," Kaidan urged, "Shepard... He, um, he doesn't have much time."
"He has enough," Nylea replied crisply.
"How do you know that?" Kaidan blurted out, frustration evident in his voice.
Nylea turned to look at him as she raised her foot to step up onto an outcropping of rock and Kaidan felt a momentary surge of envy at how easily the woman walked through the cluttered halls.
"We know because we have seen. There have been others." And with that, Nylea turned back to her careful walk.
Kaidan chewed on his lip as he tried to digest the cryptic statement. There had been others, she had said. Other indoctrinated people? Kaidan clamped down on the welling tide of optimism that was steadily building. If the Rachni had encountered the problem before, maybe, just maybe, they would know how to cure it. Or at the very least point him in the direction of something that could.
"How many others?" Kaidan asked curiously, but Nylea ignored him as she continued up the series of naturally occurring, rocky steps. He waited impatiently for an answer.
"I said how many others have you-"
"Enough," the asari replied, annoyance written all over her words if not her face.
"Why did you say that I, um, I wasn't what you expected?" Kaidan pressed as he moved up the rocky outcroppings.
"We expected only him," came the cryptic answer as Nylea moved ever onward, seemingly uncaring about whether he would follow behind or merely trip and fall over himself.
"You knew?" Kaidan blurted, "You knew that John was indoctrinated and you didn't tell anyone?" Disbelief stilled any other outburst from rising up out of him.
"Would you have believed?" the asari bit off, clearly wishing to end the discussion.
"Wait," Kaidan huffed, "Well, maybe, I mean I might have thought it would've sounded a little crazy, but I might have investigated it, got someone to-"
"We are here," Nylea stated simply, disappearing around a bend. Kaidan started and hurried forward, not wanting to lose his haunting guide as he rounded the corner and raised a hand to shield his sight. He blinked back the spots that were dancing along his vision as he tried in vain to look past the overwhelming light source. When he'd finally managed to adjust his vision, he stared, mouth agape.
They had entered a vast cavern, clearly unnatural from the smooth, curved walls that arched gracefully up into a ceiling that disappeared into the blackness. Huge fungal growths were predominant everywhere and his boots landed with a squelching sound as he stepped on a large patch. The combined effect was magnificent and a little startling, especially after the barely lit climb that he had had to endure. He stepped back as a squat Rachni Worker shifted itself in his path and turned a single eye over to him before moving along, a bundle of the fungus in a pair of clawed hands while something else unrecognizable was nestled between another.
There were Rachni everywhere.
They skittered along unconcerned with his presence and seemed to be gathering, building and transporting large amounts of things that Kaidan could barely recognize. Each time one passed by him, it paused only briefly to pass an eye over him completely before moving along with a lazy wave of its tendrils. Larger, more intimidating Warriors stood around the perimeter of the cavern that he could see and up along the sides where another series of holes and portals pockmarked the walls like a sponge, a steady stream of creatures moving in and out of them, industrious ants going about their business and ignoring the strange intruder that had come into their home. Interspersed among the Rachni traffic were a bare handful of other sentient races. Kaidan glimpsed the horned crests of a turian helping a Rachni Worker with another burden while a salarian was clicking along a data-pad that it held in its hand, all thoughts of the world around him forgotten as the salarian focused on its task.
"Come," Nylea called from ahead of him, "You may have time to stop and stare, later."
Kaidan shut his mouth with a click and stepped forward, hurrying after the retreating form of the asari though his head swivelled left and right, trying to take in as much of the amazing sight as he possibly could. It was a veritable city, though alien in its design and construction, and the cavern was larger than it appeared. A thin sheet of webbing stretched across some areas, providing screens for god-only-knew what and also serving to divide the cavern into sections, like a communal transport centre.
"What... what is this place?" Kaidan croaked, not expecting an answer from the recalcitrant asari.
"This?" Came the immediate reply, startling him as he drew closer to Nylea, "This is a Joining. We use it to link the vast network of tunnels and chambers to one another. We have several of them in this area, like a main hub, and we use it to move more easily from one place to another."
Kaidan stared hard at Nylea's bobbing back. That had been the most that he had heard the asari speak since he had met her at the bottom of the sinkhole. Maybe even combined.
"So, um, are there more of them? Does it stretch much farther?" Kaidan asked carefully, trying his luck at raising some of his previous questions.
"Yes," came the reply from ahead, "There are many more. We have been industrious since our Queen's departure from the Crucible. This series stretches over most of the area and we are beginning efforts to expand beneath the krogan port near Urdnot."
Alarm made Kaidan careless as he practically shouted, "What? You're going to take over where the krogan have built their settlements?"
Nylea turned a hard glare at him that silenced him and he almost bit his tongue when his mouth clamped shut; he wasn't sure if the asari had used a minute amount of biotics to still his tongue.
"This is the problem with those not Rachni," Nylea muttered, almost beneath Kaidan's range of hearing, "They do not understand. Cannot understand. It is beyond you."
"Then help me," Kaidan said with exaggerated care and a hint of his previous frustration, "Help me understand. The Rachni were... are friends of Shepard's aren't they? He wasn't the only one there when we saved the- your queen."
"We know. Our Queen has sung that song to us when we first met, of the kindness shown to us by a unique individual." Nylea sighed as she approached him and Kaidan felt himself tense despite her apparent passivity. There was no telling what she would do, for whatever reason.
"You are afraid, terrified for the one you love so dearly," Nylea said as she leant her face forward almost brushing against his forehead, "Your emotions cloud your judgement and your desperation rings in your words like sickness. You must understand, all that you know of the Rachni have been stories handed down to you from sources that were not Rachni. You have heard their versions, but not ours."
Kaidan swallowed at the blunt truth in the asari's words. Before he could frame a reply, however, Nylea pulled back and turned on her heel, once more marching off into the eerie light of the Joining and expecting him to follow in her wake.
"Wait," Kaidan pleaded, "Just... wait. How do you know what-"
"We are hurrying, yes?" came the distant voice, "The Queen waits. Hurry, we do not have much time. She will answer your questions if she permits."
That got Kaidan moving with alacrity. Then he stopped. He'd been so caught up in the moment, with the vast reveal that he'd almost forgotten about Shepard and his bearers. With a quick glance back, he felt his heart stammer to a halt as he scanned around for the familiar looking form and found it absent no matter where he turned his gaze. His breathing was beginning to come heavier while doubt and worry flooded him with cold ice when a soft hand gripped his shoulder firmly.
"He is ahead," Nylea spoke, "They have taken another route forward, unencumbered as we are with only two feet."
Kaidan let go of the pent up breath that he had unknowingly held while he was searching for Shepard and the four Rachni that had lifted him out of the Kodiak.
"Uh, alright. Thank you," Kaidan finished lamely as Nylea once more beckoned him forward and turned towards one of the tunnel openings that were present along the side, a quartet of menacing looking Warriors glaring down at him as he passed between them, making him feel small and helpless. He looked up into their eyes as he walked only realizing with a suddenness that almost stilled him that they were staring back at him. Every eye was fixed on him and there wasn't any malic or harmful intent within those compound orbs that he could detect. Merely curiosity and a vast alien intelligence that he had never noticed before in all the Rachni that he'd encountered. He forced himself onward as he tore his gaze away.
Another tight corridor of rock greeted him, the heat definitely something noticeable and measureable as he felt the warm gust push against his skin. Despite the sweat beginning to stain his face and on his skin under the armour, and despite his morbid expectations, the air was fresh. Clean and rich with the smell of loam and life. It was startling and Kaidan found himself breathing deeper to inhale the rich aroma and the imperceptible menagerie of scents that made it up.
The noises from the hub that he had left behind were beginning to disappear, replaced with a gentle swishing noise that sounded like fabric rubbing against each other. Alcoves began to appear, large rounded notches in the walls of the tunnel that were just big enough to house a single Rachni each and Kaidan felt some trepidation at watching the tendrils randomly appear and disappear. This tunnel was especially well guarded, his military mind analysed, and with such a small bottleneck, even an army would not be able to swarm through. It would take the destruction of the entire tunnel, not to mention tonnes of solid rock, just to bypass the area.
His foot caught on something as he kept his eyes forward and he looked down to see a thin film of white snagged at the edge of his battered, metal boot. Pulling at it, he felt a little resistance and finally managed to disentangle himself, though the material still clung to the tiniest scratches along the tips of his glove. Biological silk, he mused, and he hadn't really noticed it since the light from the fungus was a pale whitish-blue that had painted the walls in an illusionary cast.
Kaidan looked up just in time to see Nylea drop out of his vision, like she'd fallen through a hole, and with a yelp and some scrambling, he stumbled forward to the area that she'd disappeared. Drawing nearer showed that she hadn't fallen through the floor as he'd first thought, but had exited the tunnel through a portal that gleamed with phosphorescent light, gentle and warm. The rich smells were growing stronger as well and he carefully drew himself out of the tunnel and almost tripped before catching himself, landing on a ledge that was a foot below the exit.
He couldn't help but stare at the sight and a silly desire to snap a picture with his omni-tool rose up within him.
"We are here," Nylea added simply as she stepped away from him and stood to the side, head bowed in respect.
They had entered what looked to be a perfectly spherical chamber of sorts, not particularly large, with other small holes ringing the circumference. There were a series of concentric ledges beneath each row of entrances, like the seats of the stadiums he'd seen on the Citadel when people came to watch Armax Arsenal Arena Tournaments. There was a plethora of different coloured fungi here, covering the walls of the chamber entirely and leaving not a single space free. They were in a riot of colours as well, and the combined light seemed to mix and shade with one another, turning into a sort of natural light that was easier on the eyes than anything the whitish-blue fungi could achieve alone.
There were plants. Hardy, strange and twisted, but still plants all the same and they were just as prolific as the fungus, draping the bottom half of the sphere in a lush carpet of green that looked soft and inviting. What he'd seen on the surface could not even be considered plant life next to the thickness of the vegetation here and despite the fact that most seemed predatory and clearly dangerous, they waved gently in an unseeable breeze, almost making him want to roll around in the verdant carpet.
And there, in the centre of the green pool of teeming life, stood the Rachni Queen.
She was a damn sight better than when he'd last seen her, thrust up and bound beneath rock and Reaper-enhanced webbing that had looked like black cables and ichor. It was ironic how differently she looked now, draped in soft, white silk and seemingly lazing around in the comfortable surroundings.
"This way," Nylea prompted him out of his stillness, "She would like to speak to you personally."
Kaidan swallowed the instinctive rush of fear at approaching the humongous creature. He was not Rachni, he would never understand, but perhaps he could still learn a little. With a grateful nod to his guide and taking courage from what he'd seen of Shepard and the way that the man had so casually spoken to the supposedly violent creatures on several occasions, Kaidan went where Nylea directed, along a series of delicate looking steps that led down into the small patch of green. Kaidan noted that each portal in and out of the chamber had its own series of small, graceful steps that seemed to have been carved directly out of the rock. He also noticed a different coloured rock along the wall, behind the Queen, arranged in what looked to be an almost full circle, like someone had cut a hole through and had pasted it over with another series of different stone.
His numb steps sounded hollow as it rang around the serene chamber, feeling out-of-place and awkward, and he tried to hurry while unconsciously making his footfalls as soft as possible, though for whatever reason he could never say.
Kaidan took the opportunity to study the Queen more as he took his first steps across the plant life around the Rachni matriarch, noticing how they seemed to bend away from his footfalls like they had a will of their own. The closer he drew, the stronger was the intoxicating scent that he'd smelled before and he could almost feel a distant hum pulsing against the haptic sensors of his suit, though when he tried to strain his hearing, he couldn't catch a single sound. It was surreal, and so was the creature that he had come to beg a favour of. During the War, Kaidan and Tali had been picked by Shepard to accompany them through the caverns on a distant world where Grunt was in charge of investigating a problem for Wrex, as the krogan leader had put it. After the removal of hostiles from the main chamber, Kaidan had felt a strange mix of feelings upon seeing the creature again after all those years.
The Reapers had obviously exacted their toll on the last Queen of the Rachni. She had been severed from her children, left chained to a tower of stone and Reaper metal and surrounded with dead krogans as macabre bodyguards. Shepard had graciously allowed her to live, with promise of aid for the building of the Crucible, and while Tali had been utterly glad to get as far away from it as possible, Kaidan felt an odd sense of detached regret at not having an opportunity to speak to the magnificent creature, though with the war pressing down on all of them, it couldn't be helped.
Kaidan started suddenly, drawn away from his daydreams of the past as he noticed two other smaller figures that were definitely not Rachni, standing beside the Queen in a casual yet subservient manner. One was a krogan while the other was another asari. Kaidan finished the rest of his approach with his mind fixed curiously on the pair of odd attendants and the strange obstacle that suddenly seemed to loom up in his path.
"John," Kaidan whispered.
Directly in front of the Rachni Queen was a bier of sorts made up of silk and stone, and his lover and friend was laid to rest gently across the top of the seemingly smooth surface. Kaidan tried to deny the image of a funeral pyre but with the exact positioning of the body across the surface and Shepard's pale countenance, Kaidan couldn't fully suppress the dreaded thought. In desperation, he forgot about the gigantic Queen before him and the two strange people resting at her side, his world tightly narrowed onto the man who seemed to be calmly asleep, an arm dangling off the side of the twisted pedestal, and without further thinking, Kaidan pumped his legs harder in a rush to reach Shepard's side, just to hold him and touch him, to know that he was real.
"We welcome you, Kaidan Alenko human," came the dissonant, ringing voice that sounded like a thousand voices speaking at once.
Kaidan stuttered to a halt, just an arm's length away from Shepard as he looked up at the Rachni Queen that was looming up before him and casting a large shade over the immediate area. What could he say to the vast alien under these circumstances?
"John, is he, I mean..." Kaidan stuttered out, not caring about his manners at this point.
The Queen shifted her huge orbs over to Shepard with a tilt of her head, the conversational nuances not bothering her. "He is at the edge, his song is changing. There is time yet, though little of it."
The gigantic mandibles did not seem to be making a sound and Kaidan quickly turned to look at the source of the strange voice, casting about until he spied again the two figures at the sides of the Queen. Kaidan watched as two seemingly thin tendrils emerged from behind their necks and rose up to disappear into the sides of the Queen, remembering vaguely when he'd first seen the Queen on Noveria and how she had used a dying asari as her voice, not to mention the dead krogan back during the war.
"We promised an era of co-existence, of a threading of the pattern with music and colours," she said while his attention had been fixed on her two attendants, "We desired nothing more than isolation and peace. How did you reach out and pluck the notes of our songs to find us, human?" The Queen gave him a look that he couldn't interpret.
"There was a, um, I mean, I have a... friend," Kaidan began, unsure how best to phrase his response, "She's, well, she's good at finding methods of communication. Anything to do with communication really. She was, um, interested in the way that you communicate with your... children. Something about quantum entanglement particles. So I asked her to see if she could trace your song, like following an information back to its source."
"Interesting," came the vague reply though Kaidan was sure that the Queen did not seem interested in the least, "We were unaware that this could be done. None have tried before to hear our notes in the darkness of the beyond between worlds. Perhaps the one who spared us will be able to help us better understand."
"Is there, is there anything that you can do to help him?" Kaidan asked tiredly as exhaustion and desperation coloured his words, "I'm sorry if I sound, um, if I'm hasty but I don't think there's much time. Um... Majesty?" Kaidan blushed slightly and felt immediately foolish for using the human terminology but it was the best that his tired, overwhelmed mind could come up with under the circumstances.
"Such terms are unnecessary," came the sonorous voice again and Kaidan thought that he detected a note of humour in the vast, complicated sound, "We are simply the Rachni. Our name is beyond you, however..." And with that, the Queen emitted a golden, liquid sound unlike anything that Kaidan had heard before in his life. It was a ringing sound so pure that it sent shivers through him, stilling his mind as the sweet note wrapped a warm, soft blanket around his ears.
The Queen stared down expectantly at him as the note ended, Kaidan already regretting its passing and it took him a moment longer to realize that she had given him her name, or at least, the Rachni equivalent of a name.
"It sounds beautiful," Kaidan breathed truthfully, though he utterly refused to mar the sound or embarrass himself by attempting to replicate the note.
"We are glad," came the Queen's multifaceted voice again as she returned her scrutiny back over to Shepard.
Kaidan waited expectantly, waiting for some miracle to occur and almost half hoping for Shepard to jump up off the bier and run into his arms.
The Queen continued to study Shepard and Kaidan stood nervously before her, the itch of waiting beginning to gnaw along his back and around his limbs.
"So," Kaidan ventured, "Is there, can you do anything for him?"
"Why is it that you believe our songs can overcome the darkness within him?" came the Queen's response.
Kaidan stumbled a moment before gathering himself up. "I was there when, um, when John first freed you on Noveria. And later on Utukku-"
"We remember," the Queen responded, the same note of humour evident yet again.
"Right," Kaidan huffed, losing his stride a little, "It was on Utukku when... when we found you and your... children. They were turned by the Reapers, taken away from you. You said, you mentioned that they tried to take you away too, but yet you resisted. You managed to stop it somehow."
The Rachni Queen was silent for a long moment.
"You risk much coming here," the Queen replied after a time, "There was no way for you to understand how we would receive you. That we would have welcomed you at all.
"It was a risk I had to take," Kaidan said softly, "He's dying." The words tripped along his throat.
"You are not Rachni, you have not been touched by our song," the Queen demanded, "Once, our race was considered violent and fierce, a threat to the weaving sounds of the galaxy. So great were we that many have tried to harvest our songs for their own. When that failed, they murdered us and left our children to rot in shallow graves throughout the stars."
"Uh, well, times have changed, haven't they," Kaidan said a little desperately. "I saw... I was there when Shepard freed you on Noveria. I voted to spare your life, so that, um, so that the Rachni would live."
"And why did you consider such an option, human?" the Queen questioned. "Surely you know of our previous selves, of the corruption and strength of the Rachni. Why would you unleash us upon the galaxy once more?"
"I... I don't know," Kaidan answered truthfully, "I just knew... it- it was wrong to eradicate a single race. To stop the chance of bringing you back. I don't honestly know."
"Your music rings sincere, human," the Queen said in an almost wheezy sigh, like wind ruffling through the leaves of a tree. "You do not know, and yet still that was what you did."
"We didn't know what would have happened after," Kaidan retorted hotly, "I... We weren't sure what they wanted with you, what they were going to do you or your... children. It was months later that we found out about the Reapers, about the threat to our galaxy."
"They are destroyers, claiming to further the songs of life while sowing their own destructive notes throughout the Greatness," the Queen boomed quietly, "That which you call 'indoctrination' is their song, one of dark, sharp sounds that bend the chords and alters the very essence of a creature. Oily shadows and sickly yellow notes that are difficult to cleanse."
"But you've done it before," Kaidan pressed, "Haven't you?" His hope was now a wild thing, thrashing strongly inside of him.
"It has been done," the Queen confirmed slowly after a moment, "These two that you see before me, have had their songs twisted by the destroyers that you call Reapers. Indoctrination serves to rip out the still harmonics of any living creature and seeks to replace it with the Reaper's songs. It is abomination, but we have managed to save a few, deserving notes."
Yes! Kaidan exulted within himself, careful not to let the triumphant vindication pour out through his mouth. His gamble had paid off.
"Can you do it?" Kaidan asked eagerly, "Can you save John and remove the indoctrination?"
The Queen... hesitated. Her jaws twitched slightly as she continued to study Shepard and Kaidan swore that he saw her flinch just a little at his question. The triumphant feeling soured within him almost instantly.
"Can you?" Kaidan asked more softly this time, bracing himself for the worst possible answer after such a long consideration, "Can you save John?"
"We... are not sure," the Queen finally offered and Kaidan felt a strange mash of feelings course through him at the uncertainty in the creature's multi-toned voice.
"You're not sure," Kaidan whispered disbelievingly, dread making his voice thick, "What do you mean you're not sure? What's wrong?"
The Queen turned a quizzical look down on him with two of her compound eyes and Kaidan swore that it was a pitying look.
"There are notes, powerful notes. They are wrapped tightly around the song that is the Shepard, and they twist the chords and drown out his music," the Queen stated emphatically.
"What do you mean-"
"We... remember." There was an almost wistful resonance to the Queen's words. "These notes, they are familiar. Harsh and brutal like the drum beats of war, dominating and brilliant flashes of red strength. They are Prothean. They are keeping away the tainted screeches of the destroyers but they are too much, too discordant with the base harmonies. They will destroy him as surely. We understand that you are aware of this."
"What can we do?" Kaidan asked fiercely, already aware of the fact that Shepard's exposure to the original Memory Pylon on Eden Prime may have been all that kept him sane these long years, as well as it was slowly driving him insane. "Tell me, and I'll see that you have it."
"Why do you cling so hard to this song, young human?" the Queen asked, her voices dropping to a bare whisper, "Why is this so important? We know of your passions and your short lives. There will always be another resonance for the notes within you. If we cannot save this song, what is to stop you from celebrating its passing into the great Silence and singing of its presence?"
Kaidan felt his heart clench at the idea of losing Shepard this close to a solution and it hammered away in his chest as he struggled to reply.
"He is important because... I love him," Kaidan said finally, letting go of all of his restraints and emotional control fully, for perhaps the first time in his life. He struggled to let his raw love for Shepard flow out with his words as he fought not to give in to the despair welling up inside him.
"Another can be important, can they not?" the Queen insisted and Kaidan felt a blinding rage lash out inside of him at the thought.
"What- what is it you want me to say," Kaidan yelled, the fear of losing Shepard like that unhinging his mental barriers, "What can I do or say that will change the fact? I was nothing, nothing, until I met Shepard, I... He changed my life, everything about me and after everything that I'd been through, I just couldn't bear the thought of... It just- He means everything to me, everything. When he's there, with me, it's like I can see and hear and taste for the first time. There are no 'songs' that can compare to the one that comes from him." Kaidan deflated totally as the last of his emotional outburst broke free. Tears were already trickling down his cheeks from the absolute wringing that he'd given himself, for finally admitting to himself and another besides, how he truly, finally felt for John Shepard. About why he'd give anything to have him back.
The Queen seemed to consider for a moment, unperturbed by his outburst, and before Kaidan had the sense of mind to bring up his palm to scrub at the fresh tears, the Queen waved a pair of delicate, gentle tendrils directly above his head, seemingly rocking back and forth slightly as he stood there, watching through moist eyes.
"Your passion. It is strong. So very strong. We taste the emotions, the love in your words. The sounds are beautiful. Gold, rich threads shining in a symphony. Beautiful." The Queen continued to wave her limbs gently through the air above him as she moved slightly with the motion, seemingly lost in her thoughts.
"Please," Kaidan all but begged, voice thick with emotion and tears, "I... I don't know what I can offer, what I can do, but John he's... he's done so much for us- for me. I owe him more than I know for a lot of things, and if I can just give back to him some of what he's lost. I'll... I'll do anything, anything, to have John back," he finished off in a harsh whisper, as he raised an imploring hand up toward to alien creature that was his best and only hope.
The Queen drew back slightly, her thin tentacles whipping back so fast that it made the air crack.
"You would do anything?" The Queen stared down intently at him.
"Anything," Kaidan repeated, scrubbing at the streaks of moisture along his cheeks finally.
"There may be a way," the Queen offered hesitantly as she continued to shift her gaze back and forth between him and Shepard's still form.
"What way?" Kaidan was beginning to feel an icy hand brushing against his back.
"It will be difficult. For you and for us... We are unsure..."
"What way?" Kaidan insisted harder.
The Rachni Queen turned a baleful look at him and spoke in a voice filled with a dull throb that made the hair all over his body stand on end.
"You will have to die, Kaidan Alenko human. Will you accept that way?" the Queen said with finality.
"What? I... I have to..." Kaidan thought furiously as his mind wavered, guttered and shook. Would he be able accept that his dying was the only way for Shepard to live? He was wracked with agony at the thought of abandoning Shepard in that way, of not being there for him when he was there, whole and hale. Could he condemn Shepard to a life without him when he had so adamantly refused a similar path? But he had said, he'd give anything for Shepard to come back to him, including the life that the man had shown and given to him.
"Yes. Yes, I will," Kaidan said with resounding affirmation, his doubts and fears finally clearing away leaving a startling clarity in their wake.
"So quick to agree," the Queen mused almost to herself but Kaidan responded as if she had been speaking to him.
"I am willing, to sacrifice myself, if it will bring John back." No more doubts, worries or struggling. An end, with the promise that John could live on.
"And do you understand the nature of sacrifice, human?" the Queen asked quizzically, "Do you know what it means to protect a loved one and give your individuality to the Great Silence in the hope that another song will come to sing its praises for you?"
Kaidan nodded firmly at the questions posed to him. "It doesn't matter. For John, I'll do it."
The Queen stood higher, raising her bulk up beyond him, almost as if she were prepared to throw herself down on him and crush the life out of him. Kaidan only watched, waiting strong.
"Your decision will have consequences, little note," the Queen boomed resonantly, "You must understand, as we have, the legacy of sacrifice."
"I've made my decision," Kaidan said with stubborn determination, "I may not know about it as much as you do, but I'll find out soon enough."
"As you sing," the Queen intoned. It drew back down and sent him another questioning gaze that he returned blandly, "We wonder, why it is so easy for you to accept this decision. To accept this solution as final. Your fleeting moments are well known to us, and always do they struggle against the siren call of the Silence. Why are you different?"
What could he say, Kaidan thought to himself. That there wasn't much time? That he didn't have anywhere to turn to if this didn't work? The deal between life and death was always messy and complicated, but when they got down to it and cleared the finer points, everything ended up going smoothly, whether you wanted it or not; putting oneself against the balancing scales for the life of another. Another that was special. That was more than you thought, and had given you that much. None of them sounded as well as he'd liked so he flung caution to the winds and spoke the truth.
"I once heard someone say, 'It's better that I suffer in Hell, so that he can stay safe in Heaven'. With this in mind Rachni Queen, I will gladly give up my life for John Shepard," Kaidan held the Rachni's gaze, back straight and eyes proud as he let slip the final piece of himself, of his determination to see this through to the end, even if it meant that he couldn't be there, waiting for Shepard when the man stepped back into the light. That was going to be his legacy.
"Then you sing your songs well for one so young. We will begin."
Before Kaidan could ask what he would need to do to prepare, before he could even think to address the Rachni Queen, he felt a wet warmth clamp down on the top of his head, his hair giving no impediment to the resilient tentacle. His eyes widened in shock and he turned to look up, tracing along the slim, graceful curve that lead from just above his fringe to a small part of the Queen's side. He felt the thick muscle contract and suddenly, a bright spark surged through his brain erasing all of his thoughts and sending convulsions across his muscles. His suit's warning sensors were screaming in his ear, but it sounded far away and muffled and another jolt staggered him as it fired through his synaptic neurons, again and again.
His world turned white and then black, dwindling rapidly as he felt the last of his self leave the empty shell of his body. With a dull thud, that which had once been Kaidan Alenko, Alliance Major, talented and scarred biotic and lover of the Saviour of the Galaxy, slumped bonelessly to the ground as the Queen lowered herself into quiet repose, her tendrils still attached to Kaidan's head as another drew out of her body's sheath, along the side of her massive abdomen, and made its careful way down toward the still form of John Shepard, seemingly at serene rest upon his stony tablet.