Chapter 21 – Denerim
The closed city gates of Denerim loomed before the party. Ayu reread the letter from Arl Eamon once more as the cart steadily approached the capital city.
"Where is the Arl's estate?" Alistair asked from the driver's seat of the wagon.
"Once we are through the gates, the estate should be on our right. It says that it is facing the market courtyard." Ayu paraphrased the Arl's written words for her fellow Warden.
"It certainly was nice of him to allow us to stay in his home while we make our way to the Dalish." Leliana piped up from her spot beside Ayu.
Ayu nodded. "It was very kind indeed." She folded the parchment and stuffed it into her bodice. "We are also fortunate that the majority of the Templars are not within the city at the moment. The Chantry is also in the marketplace and that alone would make resupplying extremely difficult."
"It seems as though we are still ahead of the men chasing us."
"For the moment, yes Leliana. However, I wish to be on our way to the Brecillian Forest as quickly as possible. Once we are within the forest, we shall be far more difficult to find."
"Is it easy to get lost in the forest?"
"Let's put it this way: you will only see the Dalish when they want to be seen." Ayu winked at her friend.
Leliana laughed. "I knew you Dalish were sneaky!"
Ajax stopped in front of the massive iron-bound gate and snorted. He tossed his head, making the harness jingle. Ayu poked her head up to the front of the cart where Alistair still sat.
"Is there a problem?" Ayu asked him quietly.
"No. Not as far as I can tell anyway. We're just waiting for the guards to open the gate." He replied over his shoulder.
A moment later the wide gates swung open and the party entered Denerim. The horse's hooves clapped on the cobblestone streets as they made their way toward Arl Eamon's estate.
After successfully navigating the city streets from the main gate, Alistair brought the cart into the marketplace. The sound of the busy stalls and hundreds of conversations buzzed in their ears as they made their way through. Ayu moved within the cart and peeked out from behind the rear flap, nearly sitting on Oghren as she did so. The dwarf only waggled his eyebrows at her and smiled toothily.
Ayu shook her head, silently laughing to herself.
Through the flap of the canvas covering, Ayu took in the boisterous activity of the market. She saw a dwarven man running an armor stall; a woman selling textiles and bags; another man selling weapons; and stall after stall of fruits and vegetables from the surrounding farms and elsewhere. Her stomach growled as she watched the market shrink away and a grandiose stone archway pass overhead.
Alistair drew the wagon to a halt and it lurched as he jumped from the driver's seat. That was the signal that the companions had been waiting for. They had arrived at the Arl's estate and they could finally get out of the cart. One by one they all disembarked, stretching limbs appreciatively as their feet hit the packed earthen yard at the base of massive stone stairs.
Oghren whistled in awe. "I've never seen a home so big that wasn't attached to the stone."
Ayu chuckled. "It certainly is huge isn't it? This isn't even the biggest home. Alistair said that this is one of the smaller ones. Apparently the Arl of Denerim has an even bigger one." She winked at the dwarf as she laughed.
A stable boy had run up to Alistair and offered to take the horses for feed and a rub down. Ajax stood patiently as he was released from the harness and followed behind the boy quietly. Lothren jerked back as the stable boy reached out for his lead-line. Ayu quickly jogged over and grabbed the lead.
"Be gentle, Lothren." The Warden cooed into a black shell-shaped ear. "He means you no harm love." She lovingly rubbed his fuzzy muzzle as she turned her attention to the boy. "What is your name?"
The boy looked shocked that she would actually address him. "S-Sam, m'lady."
"Now Sam, Lothren here can get a little upset if he is separated from his friend. I would suggest keeping them together if at all possible."
"Oh, yes'sum," Sam vigorously nodded. "We 'ave a stall that'll be plenty big for the both of 'em. I can keep 'em together no problem!"
Ayu smiled. "Thank you Sam, I appreciate that. Lothren shall be good as gold for you I promise, but I would prefer if you personally took care of our horses. Ajax isn't finicky, but this big guy here is." Ayu patted the black horse's neck as she spoke.
"I can do that for you m'lady. I'd be honoured!"
"There's a good lad." Ayu handed him Lothren's lead rope.
Sam took the rope in his other hand and quietly led the horses away to the small stable around the side of the estate. Bodhan and Sandal had moved the cart to one side of the yard, keeping it out-of-the-way of the various training dummies.
A manservant had stepped out onto the stair at the commotion of their arrival. He now walked up to the Wardens. "You are the Grey Wardens, correct?" He held his hands behind his back and spoke in an educated tone. He obviously held a position of power within the estate over the other servants.
"Yes. We are the Wardens. I assume that Arl Eamon told you of our coming?" Alistair replied.
"He did Ser. He sends his regrets that he has been called away on urgent business, but you are welcome in his home for as long as you need. If you will follow me, I shall show you to your rooms. We will be serving lunch within the hour. If there is anything that you should require, do not hesitate to ask either myself or one of the other staff. We shall do our best to accommodate you. Please, this way."
The man turned on his heel and began to walk up the wide stone stairs once more.
The Arl had assigned a wing of rooms to his guests, each more lavishly decorated than the party had seen before. Arl Eamon obviously wanted his guests to have every comfort during their stay. Ayu's room was the second largest, Alistair receiving the biggest of the guest rooms. Her bed was broad and piled high with blankets and pillows. Ayu dropped her pack onto the floor next to the vanity and flopped onto the bed. She stretched out, relishing in the plush softness of the bed. Beren joined her, twisting around on the bed until the covers were in a tangle around them both. The Warden laughed and wrestled with her mabari before a thought stuck her.
Ayu leapt from the bed, smoothing her mussed hair, and called Beren after her. The pair left the room, heading back outside to the main yard of the estate. The elf wandered over to the cart and fished around inside for a moment before stepping back outside. Beren sat eagerly, waiting for his master, curious as to what she was up to. When Ayu returned from inside the cart, she had a mischievous smile on her face and was holding one hand behind her back. Beren stood, wagging his short tail furiously. She pulled a fist sized leather ball from behind her and shook it in front of her mabari.
"It's been a long time since you were able to just be a dog, huh boy?" she asked him playfully.
Beren barked, bounding around her feet excitedly.
Ayu laughed and threw the ball as hard as she could across the yard. Beren took off after it, churning up dirt in his path. Beren grabbed the ball in his jaws and chewed it eagerly before returning it to her. The pair kept up the game until Leliana appeared at the top of the stairs.
"There you are Ayu," she giggled. "We have been looking for you. Lunch is ready and we have all been summoned to the hall."
"Oh, I am sorry Leliana. I should have told you that I would be out here." The Warden laughed in return. "How did you figure out that I was out here?"
"Well, we could hear Beren barking inside the house for one, and Zevran saw you both out here from his window." Leliana pointed up to a line of windows along one side of the estate to her right.
"Ok boy, time to go back in." Ayu clapped a hand on her thigh and the mabari ran to her side, chewing on his ball happily. "You can keep that as long as you don't destroy it."
The table in the dining hall was laden with various dishes from soups to roasted meat and fluffy crusted rolls. Ayu's stomach growled hungrily. She hadn't realized just how hungry she was until she saw and smelled all the delicious food. She sat at an empty seat, with Leliana beside her. Beren laid down beside her feet on her other side. The companions ate ravenously, enjoying the comforts of being indoors. The conversation at the table eventually turned to the plans for the rest of the day.
"I would like to go to the market while it is still open." Ayu said around a mouthful of roll. "But I am open to other suggestions, if anyone has anything that they want to do. Other than that, I just want to have a bath and relax while we get the chance. Once we hit the Dalish, I am sure we will be camping out again. We should enjoy the luxuries while we have them."
"I will go to the market with you Ayu." Alistair offered. "I wouldn't mind stopping at the armorer."
"Sure, we can do that."
That afternoon, the Wardens, accompanied by Zevran, Oghren and Beren, went into the marketplace carrying old arms and armor to sell. They made their way through the throngs of busy shoppers, until they arrived at the dwarven armorer. The dwarf smiled broadly as he saw the group approach.
"Hello my friends!" He extended thick arms wide in greeting. "How may I be of service to you?"
Ayu dropped a heavy plate chest-piece on the counter of his stall. "We would like to sell some of our gear in hopes of getting new items." she said succinctly.
"Well you have come to the right place my dear lady!" the merchant's braided beard swung as he reached for the items they carried. "Let me have a look at what you have brought and I can appraise them for you. Once we have a value, I can show you what I have to sell."
"Excellent." Ayu responded as she stepped to one side of the stall.
The merchant began looking each piece over as they were handed to him.
Alistair, once he had deposited his bundle, sidled over to his fellow Warden. "Hey, Ayu," he spoke quietly near her ear. "I was wondering if you would help me with something?"
Ayu looked at him curiously. "What is it Alistair? You seem nervous?"
The man was indeed fiddling with the ties on the front of his shirt. His eyes kept glancing across the market to a line of small houses. "Ah, umm . . well – you see . ." he stammered.
"Alistair, spit it out. What is it?"
He ran a hand through his short hair, blowing out a nervous breath. "My sister lives here." He said in a rush. "She lives over there in one of those houses, and I want to meet her, but I want you there, because I don't know how she will react when she finds out she has a brother – maybe she already knows – I don't have any family – besides you – and I really want you there when I meet her . ."
Ayu grinned. "Now was that so hard?"
Alistair looked sheepish, his cheeks reddening.
"Are you sure you want me there? I will go with you, don't misunderstand, I just want you to be sure."
"Yes, I want you there. I need you. I – I don't know how this will turn out. I don't know what she's like." he chuckled to himself. "I have a sister . . sssiiiiissstter. Ok I'm babbling, let's just go."
Ayu walked over to Zevran, placing a hand on the elf's arm. "Alistair and I have to run a quick errand. Here is the coin," she slipped a small coin-purse into his pocket, "get what we need from here and we will meet you at the weapon smith."
Zevran nodded, understanding. "Be careful." He whispered to her as she turned away.
A few minutes later, the Wardens stood before a wooden door to a small house at the edge of the market.
"Here we are. This is the one." Alistair said twisting his fingers together. "Do you think she's nice? I bet she's nice, and I will be welcome and have dinner with her family. Maybe she has kids? I could be an uncle! But what if . ." he ran both hands through his hair, turning away from the door. "I can't, I can't do this."
Ayu knocked on the door and smirked at Alistair's horrified expression.
"I cannot believe you just did that!"
The door opened.
"Eh? You got linens to wash?" a tall woman with shoulder length brown hair stood back from the door to allow them in. "I charge three bits to a bundle. You won't find better."
"Ah, no. We're not here to have any washing done." Alistair took a quick breath before continuing. "I'm – well this is strange, but are you Goldanna? If you are then I suppose I am your brother, Alistair."
"My what?" the woman looked shocked and angry all at the same time. "I am Goldanna. How did you know my name? What sort of tomfoolery are you up to?"
"He speaks the truth. Listen to him." Ayu offered soothingly.
"Look, our mother worked as a servant in Redcliffe castle, a long time ago, before she died. You know about that don't you? Well, she . ."
"You! I knew it!" she spat. "They told me you was dead along with mother. You were the babe that killed her. I knew they was lyin'!"
"They told you I was dead?" Alistair was taken aback. "Who, who told you that?"
"Thems at the castle. I told them the babe was the King's and they said that you was dead. They gave me coin to keep my mouth shut and sent me on my way. I knew it!" Goldanna was visibly shaking she was so angry.
Alistair looked saddened at this news. "I am sorry . . I didn't know that. The babe didn't die. I am him; your brother."
Goldanna scoffed. "For all the good it does me! You killed mother you did! And I've had to scrape by all this time! That coin didn't last long let me tell you." she pointed a finger at the Wardens accusingly, "and they ran me off when I went back."
"We should go Alistair," Ayu turned to her friend, "this is not going well at all."
Goldanna focused her rage on the elf. "And who in the Maker's name is this now? Some tart following after your riches I expect."
"Hey!" Alistair said forcefully. "Don't speak to her that way. She is my friend and a Grey Warden, just like me."
"Ooooooh a prince and a Grey Warden, too!" Goldanna crossed her arms in front of her. "Who am I to think poorly of someone so high and mighty compared to me? I don't know you boy." She spat. "Your royal father forced himself on my mother and took her away, and what do I got to show for it? Nothing! They tricked me good. I should've told everyone! I got five mouths to feed, and unless you're going to help with that, I have less than no use for you!"
"I'm . . I'm sorry. I don't know what to say." Alistair's voice was soft and sad.
"It appears all she wants is your money Alistair." Ayu was sympathetic toward her fellow Warden, but her eyes held a steely wrath.
"It appears so. I didn't expect my sister to be so . . . I am beginning to wonder why I came at all."
"I don't know why you came either, or what you expected to find, but it isn't here. Now get out of my house, and take that elven whore with you. Whoring and slaving are the only things elves are good for." Goldanna glared at Ayu.
"Let's go Alistair."
"I agree. Let's get out of here."
Ayu turned her friend toward the door behind them and practically pushed him out into the street. She closed the door behind him.
"How dare you!" Ayu whirled around, one hand on the door as she held it against Alistair. "He reached out to you! He wanted to have a family! You had that! You still have that! You have no idea what he has been through either! He grew up with no parents, no siblings, and was given away to the Templars as a boy!"
Goldanna's shocked expression quickly turned to ire.
"Ayu! Open the door!" Alistair was banging against the wood, but Ayu held fast, keeping it closed.
"He joined the Grey Wardens, and believe me that is an honour to be chosen, but he had to watch the only family he knew get ripped apart by darkspawn! How would you feel if I destroyed those five mouths of yours right in front of you? How can you be so cold to your own brother? I will never understand humans!"
"You stupid knife-ears! You know nothing! Go back to your whoring!" Goldanna advanced on Ayu, her arms outstretched and her fingers clawed.
Ayu, however, was far quicker. Slipping to the side, Ayu released the door and shoved Goldanna into a nearby wall in one swift motion. A firelight began to glow in the elf's eyes.
"What is this trickery?" Goldanna choked out from under Ayu's firm grip.
"Be careful how you speak to people. Just some friendly advice." the Warden let the woman go, as Alistair finally pushed the door open.
"Ayu . . I heard shouting . . LOOK OUT!"
Ayu twisted back to face Goldanna. The woman had grabbed a vase from the small table nearby and was holding it above her head. Without blinking an eye, Ayu punched the woman in the temple. She fell to the ground in a heap, the vase smashing on the floor beside her.
Ayu sighed, shaking her head. "Why do people always think they can beat me up?"
Alistair gave a half-smile in spite of himself. "It's because you're little."
"Come. Help me put her on the couch. She'll be more comfortable there when she wakes up."
"Did you have to hit her? I know she's a . . . well she's . . but she's still my sister."
"I know she is, and she will never get to see your kindness. I can only hope that she realizes it one day."
Alistair nodded as he stood from setting Goldanna on the couch. He covered her with a thin blanket and reached into his pocket to pull out a few coins. He dropped a few silvers on the table. "I feel bad for her kids, having a mother like that."
Ayu reached out to him and ushered him out the door.
"But did you have to hit her?"
"She called me a whore! On several occasions I might add. It was an affront to my person! Besides," Ayu smirked where she stood just behind him, "I would have done worse to her for the way she talked to you. Thinking that she is the only one that has suffered in this life, seriously!"
"You really would stick up for me, wouldn't you? You are the best friend I've ever had. I never dreamed that this meeting would have gone so horribly." He shook his head sadly. "This is the family that I have been wondering about? That shrew is my sister? I can't believe it. I guess I was expecting her to accept me with open arms, without question. That's what family is supposed to do, right? I feel like such an idiot."
Ayu wrapped her arms around his as she towed him away from Goldanna's house. "Unfortunately Alistair, the one thing that I learned from being in human lands is that everyone is out for themselves. They don't care about others. It's a tough thing to learn, but you need to realize that it happens too." Her voice was calm and even.
"You're right. I just didn't want to believe that all the good in this world is gone."
"It's not gone Alistair. We are fighting for it right now. But just remember that through all the bloodshed, you need to be happy too, even if it's a small thing. I was lost for a while too, but I found my way. You'll find yours, and I will right there, kicking your ass every step of the way." She smiled up at him.
He chuckled. "I know you will. Thank you Ayu. I am glad that you were there. Let's meet up with the others, I don't want to talk about this anymore."
The pair found Zevran, Oghren and Beren finishing up with the weapon smith.
"You are safe." Zevran visibly relaxed as Ayu approached. "Did you complete your errand?"
"Yes, we did." Ayu replied. "But I think we should stop at the Pearl for a drink, hmm? What do you guys think? I could use a drink."
Oghren belched and grinned. "I'm with the Warden! She has good sense this one."
Zevran eyed her suspiciously, but a glance at Alistair, and he knew she suggested it for his sake, not her own. "Alright. I go where you go." he said simply, shrugging.
"Good!" Ayu clapped her hands together once, "Let's be off then!" She turned on her heel and made her way to the Pearl.
The small group arrived at the Pearl to find the tavern fairly quiet. Only a handful of tables were occupied with midday drinkers. Ayu chose a table in the center of the room and sat down. A young buxom woman approached carrying a wooden tray. Ayu ordered drinks for everyone and the girl bustled away to get their order.
Ayu leaned forward with her elbows on the table. "So how did we do?"
Zevran reached into his pocket and dropped the full coin-purse in front of her. "I think we did quite well. It helped that Oghren's father knew the merchants father way back when." He grinned.
"Ah, I only got us a bit of a discount. It wasn't much." Oghren replied pulling at his moustache.
"Every bit helps let me assure you." Ayu laughed. She took the coin-purse and hid it in her bodice as the serving girl reappeared. She placed the tankards on the table and left to help another table.
The party drank in silence for a few minutes before yelling and a table being flipped over broke the calm of the inn. Ayu looked toward the back of the room, over Zevran's shoulder from where he sat across from her. A human man was yelling at someone standing behind a corner. It had been him who had flipped the table. The bartender left the bar and escorted the man out.
A woman with darker skin stepped from around the corner to watch the man leave. She had dark hair pulled back under a blue bandana and large golden earrings. Her dress, or lack thereof, is what caught Ayu's attention the most. The strange woman wore a white dress barely long enough to cover her assets with boots that were tall enough to nearly meet the hem. The woman looked around the tables, before spying the Wardens and walking over.
"Look who we have here," the woman stopped at the end of the table standing between Zevran and Ayu. "Come to apologize for leaving me bereft without my lord husband and disappearing without a trace?"
Zevran set down his drink before twisting in his seat to look at the strange woman. "You know that was just business, Isabela. Business that appears to have turned out well for you. You inherited the ship I take it?" His voice was amicable toward her at best.
"Hmfph." Isabela scoffed. "I suppose I never did like the greasy bastard, and the Siren has been better to me than she ever was to him." She turned her big brown eyes toward Ayu. "But any catching up that Zevran and I have to do won't be happening out here in the open. Shouldn't you introduce me to your luscious friend Zevran?"
Ayu's cheeks reddened as she realized that Isabela meant her.
Zevran looked at her apologetically from across the table. "Indeed. This is Isabela, queen of the eastern seas and the sharpest blade in Llomerryn. Isabela, no doubt you will amused to discover that I am in fact traveling with a Grey Warden." He gestured to the Wardens. "This is Alistair and Ayu, our leader."
"A Grey Warden? Charmed." Isabela sat beside Ayu, perched on the edge of the bench.
Ayu scooted down slightly, unnerved from the flesh of the woman's bare arms pressing against her. "So . . you're the captain of a ship?" Ayu's voice nearly squeaked. She had never, knowingly, been hit on by a woman and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about it.
"Yes, the Siren's Call – my pride and joy." Isabela beamed, obviously proud of her ship. "She's seen from my home in Rivain and the isle of Llomerryn to the coast of Par Vollen. All I need is my ship and the wind at my back. Once my men have had their fill of the pleasures of dry land we shall be off again and away from this Blight."
"You are obviously a skilled fighter, why leave?" Ayu asked curiously.
"Heh, I am not going anywhere near that Blight and neither would you if you had any sense in that pretty head of yours." Isabela reached out and touched Ayu's hair.
"She has a lot of sense!" Alistair piped up from Ayu's other side. "She wouldn't be in charge if she didn't!"
"Oh, come now," Isabela stood and walked over to Alistair, draping an arm across his shoulders and leaning against him seductively. "I didn't mean to get you upset. Though you are even cuter when you are."
Alistair stammered uncomfortably and took another drink, avoiding eye contact with Isabela.
"What do you say, Zev? Care for a romp for old time's sake? Maybe we can get some company this time." Isabela rubbed her fingers along Alistair's shoulder.
Ayu plucked the pirate woman's hand from her friend. "Leave him be, Isabela. He has had a rough enough day without having to worry about curing himself from whatever disease it is you're carrying."
"Oh ho! Well aren't you a feisty one!" Isabela stood and wandered around the table the long way to stand behind Zevran. She kept her eyes on the elven woman the entire time. Once she was standing behind Zevran, Isabela leaned down, wrapping her arms over his chest. "I like her, Zev. Do persuade her to come play, will you?"
This woman had Ayu flustered and angry. She'd known that Zevran had been with other women, but meeting one was different. She was jealous that Isabela had been with him first. Ayu stood up, slamming her palms onto the table. "Stay away from my friends you sea skank!"
Isabela smirked and slipped a dagger from its hiding place. She held it against Zevran. "Say that again." It was a game now.
"You heard me." Ayu growled, leaning forward onto the table. "Leave them alone."
Isabela spun around Zevran, attempting to land a blow beside Ayu with her dagger. Ayu parried the blow, gasping her own dagger and blocking in time. Isabela produced another dagger and came at Ayu, smiling the entire time. The pirate woman grasped Ayu and pushed her down onto the edge of the table. Ayu used her single dagger to hold off the other woman as she laid trapped on her back. Grunting, Ayu pushed back, knocking Isabela away. Ayu rolled backward onto the table, and springing back to her feet.
Isabela was openly laughing now and she also jumped up onto the table. Ayu grabbed her other dagger, so she too, was holding both weapons. The women sparred to the hoots and hollers of the men within the inn, while tankards and bowls toppled to the floor with a clatter.
"Zevran! Stop her!" Alistair cried. "She's going to hurt Ayu!"
"No," Zevran crossed his arms from where he now stood beside Alistair and Oghren. "This is how Isabela is. She's playing with her. If you're so concerned, why don't you save your precious Warden?" Zevran's voice held a hard edge.
"Wooo hooo! Drinks and a show!" Oghren shouted. "This place is great! Get'her Warden!"
"Zevran!" Alistair cried again.
"Fine!" Zevran walked to the end of the table and grabbed Ayu by the belt from behind. He yanked hard and she squeaked as she fell backward into Zevran's arms. He set her down grouchily. "Stop it Isabela. You've had your fun."
"Aww Zev, it was just getting good!" Isabela pouted. "You're jealous that she got me all wet and you didn't, aren't you?" she sheathed her weapons behind her.
"Isabela, enough." Zevran could feel Ayu's hard eyes burning into him.
The pirate laughed. "You know you're pretty good. Who trained you?" she asked Ayu.
"I did." Zevran answered for his Warden.
Isabela laughed even harder. "Well that explains everything!" She walked up to Ayu and placed an arm around her like they had been friends forever. "Listen sweet thing, I like you. You remind me of . . well me. Anyway, I want to show you a thing or two. Zevran can only teach you so much, and, well I can teach you so much more. What do you say? It's a one time offer. Once the Siren leaves I cannot say that I will see you again and you will have lost a great opportunity."
Ayu thought for a moment, angry because of her past with Zevran, but also angry because the pirate was right. She did have techniques that she could learn from the other woman. "Promise that you'll leave the boys alone, and I will accept your offer." Ayu remained cool.
"Deal." Isabela smiled and squeezed the Warden. "Don't worry sweet thing, I will leave your boys alone. You however, will be under no such luck. Come now, there is space on the deck of my ship that we can practice on." Isabela escorted Ayu out the back door of the inn and to the Siren's Call. Neither Zevran nor Alistair trusted the women to be alone together, so they followed as well, sitting on the railing of the ship and watching. Oghren grunted and ordered another drink.
It was early evening when the group returned from the Pearl to the Arl's estate. The others were curious as to what took them so long, and Alistair filled them in about the market and Isabela at the Pearl. He left Goldanna out of his tale. As the party was talking, a servant entered the room and summoned them all to dinner. They began to move into the dining hall, Ayu trailing behind the majority of the group.
Ayu felt a tug on her elbow from behind. She looked over her shoulder to see Zevran standing there. He motioned for her to follow him and she complied. He moved across the hall and into another room. When Ayu stepped into the library, she could see Zevran pacing and running his hands through his hair. She partially closed the door and stepped further into the room.
'This is not good,' She thought. 'He's upset about something.'
The Warden stopped and stood quietly for a moment. When he didn't initiate, she did. "What's wrong Zev? Why are you so agitated?"
"Do you love him?" Zevran's eyes looked hurt and angry. "If you do then I will step aside, but . . I have watched you with him. There is more there, isn't there?"
"Zev," Ayu's voice was soft.
"Don't call me that unless . . . unless you . ." he blew out a breath.
She smiled and took a step toward him. "He is my brother in arms Zev; my fellow Warden. No more."
He looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Then what was all that sneaking about today and telling Isabela to stay away from him, hmm?"
Ayu covered her face with her hands in discomfort. 'What do I tell him?!'
Tell him the truth.
'Mythal? What? No I cannot tell him about Goldanna. It's not for me to tell.'
No, Ayu. Tell him the truth. If you keep it from him, he will only grow more suspicious and you may lose him. He is a jealous creature, as much as he pretends not to be.
Zevran was looking at her expectantly, tapping his foot. She gazed at him from between parted fingers. She took a deep breath and lowered her hands. "We went to see his sister."
"His what?" Zevran actually looked stunned.
"His sister, or - half-sister. They share the same mother, but the previous king was his father. He wanted me to go with him when he met her. You know how nervous he can get. So, that's where we went. She lives here in Denerim and I wanted him to have the chance to connect with his family." Ayu looked thoughtful, remembering Goldanna. "It did not go well. That's why I suggested going for a drink. I had no idea that we would run into your - friend Isabela." She still wasn't happy about meeting her, even though the woman was genuinely nice and had been a very good teacher.
"I had not expected to see her, here off all places, either." he conceded. "But why are you so protective?"
Ayu sighed. "I – I'm protective of all of you. Now that I have no clan, you guys are my family. I guess I get a little aggressive where you are concerned. But that doesn't mean that I love Alistair. He's not the . . there's only one . . he's not . ." Ayu flushed. 'How do I tell him that I love him without him running away?' A thought struck her. "I don't want you to go anywhere, if that makes you feel better, Zev. I – I need you."
Zevran relaxed. "You know I hold no claim over you and I want you to pursue your fancies as you wish, but I must admit, I have no desire to . . step aside."
"So don't." Ayu closed the gap between them, planting a kiss on his lips.
He held the kiss for a moment, before pulling her away from him. "There is more I must speak to you about." He walked over to a short wooden table sitting against the far wall and sat on it. His expression was distant, and Ayu's heart fluttered.
'What could he possibly have to tell me?'
Zevran cleared his throat and motioned her over to sit beside him. She complied. "Do you remember how you asked me about my final mission? The one that brought me to Ferelden?"
"Yes I remember. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to." She gently touched his knee. "It's okay."
"No. No I want to tell you. You . . you need to know. I want you to know."
Ayu nodded and sat quietly, letting her hands rest on his thigh.
Zevran drew in a deep breath and began his tale.
"There is a reason that I took this mission to Ferelden, so far from home, and it had nothing to do with any wish that I might have had about leaving the Crows. Meeting you, after all, was quite an accident. My last mission in Antiva . . did not end well.
You must realize until that day I was cocky and arrogant. I was the best of the Crows, or so I believed, and I boasted of my conquests . . as both an assassin and a lover. One of the Crow masters grew tired of my boasting and my bid on an incredibly difficult mark was accepted – much to my surprise. It was a wealthy merchant with many guards and had to be a completely silent job. Taliesen agreed to be a part of my team as well as an elven lass named Rinna. She was . . a marvel. Tough, smooth, wicked, with eyes that gleamed of justice. She was everything that I thought I desired."
"You fell in love with her?" Ayu asked softly.
"Rinna was special. I had closed off my heart, I thought, but she touched something within me. It frightened me. When Taliesen told me that Rinna had accepted a bribe from the merchant and told him of our plan, I agreed that she must pay the price. I allowed Taliesen to kill her.
She begged me not to. On her knees with tears in her eyes, she told me that she loved me and had not betrayed us. I laughed in her face and told her that even if it were true, I didn't care. Taliesen cut her throat as she stared up at me. I watched her bleed and spat on her body for betraying the Crows. When Taliesen and I finally assassinated the merchant, we discovered the true source of his information. Rinna had not betrayed us after all."
"Oh, Zev. I am so sorry."
"I . . wanted to tell the Crows what we had done, our mistake. Taliesen convinced me not to. He said it would be a foolish waste, so we reported that Rinna had died in the attempt. But it was pointless. The Crows knew what we had done. The Crow master that disliked me told me so to my face. He said that the Crows always know, and that they didn't care. He told me that my turn would eventually come. I suppose he did it to rub it in my face; that I am nothing. That she was nothing.
You asked why I wanted to leave the Crows, well the answer is that I wanted to die, in truth. What better way than to throw myself at one of the fabled Grey Wardens? And then . . this happened, and here I am."
"Zev . . I am so sorry. I had no idea." Ayu squeezed his hand in hers.
"It . . feels good to speak of this with someone. I swore that I never would. Whatever I was seeking when I left Antiva, I think I have found it. I owe you a great deal."
Ayu rested her head on his shoulder. "You don't owe me anything Zev. I am glad that you talked to me though." Ayu was thoughtful for a moment, remembering how he pulled away in the Deep Roads. "I remind you of her . . don't I?"
Zevran was quiet and squeezed her hand. "Truth? Yes, in some ways you do – you did. All I could see when I looked at you . . was her . . . and my shame. I couldn't bear it. But now, now all I see is you. Rinna's ghost plagues me no longer."
"I am glad to hear that." Ayu kissed him on the cheek. "Spirits have a way of sticking around sometimes."
Zevran chortled and fell silent once more.
"Umm, Zev?"
"Yes?"
"Why do you think that Taliesen would tell you that Rinna was the informant? I mean she was supposed to be on your team right?"
"Well, yes, but I – I do not understand where this question is going."
"Ummm, oh bless the spirits, how do I ask this?" she thought aloud.
"I have nothing to hide. Not from you."
"Out with it then, got it. Okay, so I guess what I want to know is if you – and Taliesen had been . . intimate?"
"You mean did we have sex? Yes, twice and we were both very drunk. I have told you of my preference for women, have no concern."
"That wasn't what I was meaning Zev. Is it possible that a good time for you was . . . more for him? Is it possible that he was jealous of how close you and Rinna were and wanted you for himself?"
Zevran shrugged against her. "Anything is possible if you look at it that way. But, I – I am unconvinced that was his intention."
"Just a thought."
Zevran drew another breath. "There is one more thing."
"You don't kill all your lovers, do you?" Ayu tried to keep her voice light and joking.
He laughed. "Well, no. It seems that one has managed to get away." He laid his cheek on the top of her head. "No it is something far more serious as far as I am concerned. Ayu, coming into Denerim I saw Crow trail markers. They are within the city certainly. I – I do not wish you to be in the city without an escort of some kind. Whether it is me, or another, it makes no nevermind. But do not go out alone. I fear that we must confront the Crows if I am truly to be free of their grasp."
Ayu grinned broadly, rising from her seat. She pulled Zevran to his feet and let go of his hand, beginning to walk across the room. "Well when that day comes, if they want to get to you they'll have to go through me." She tossed her hair playfully, a wicked grin on her lips. "I am after all a fabled Grey Warden and a very deadly sex goddess. I think I shall give them pause, no?"
Zevran laughed heartily, throwing his head back.
"Come now," she held out her hand to him. "Dinner is getting cold and the others will be wondering where we got to."
"I will go wherever you go." He took her hand and followed.
A/N: Woo another chapter down! The elves are next and things are going to get hawt! One of the girls at the bakery went on Mat leave just after Christmas, so my shifts are conveniently all over the place. I will make strides to get the next chapter hammered out as quick as I can. We are getting more into my predetermined head-cannon (as opposed to the I'm-making-this-up-on-the-fly writing that I have been doing), so these next couple chapters should be a breeze. Until next time! Hugs!