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'Right inspection time' Mo Effanga spoke loudly as she entered Jac's private hospital room early on Monday morning dragging a somewhat reluctant Ava behind her. 'I must admit I might have been taking the micky out the old fashioned-ness of the uniform but she doesn't she look so cute?'

'Mo, you're so embarrassing' Ava muttered red faced and visibly cringing.

Jac suppressed a laugh correctly guessing poor Ava had been proudly paraded around half the hospital by her enthusiastic godmother. 'You look beautiful Pumpkin, come and give me a hug.'

'Hey your drip has gone!' Ava exclaimed happily as she obliged to her aunt's wishes 'does that mean you can come home today?'

'Don't get too excited' Jac smiled as she let Ava go and fussed with straightening her navy blue beret for her. 'We'll have to see.' It was only late yesterday Michael and Serena felt they could trust Jac to take in enough fluids herself without the additional IV fluids they were supplying her with.

'Yeah seriously don't get too excited' Mo's spoke with her head down looking through Jac's notes. 'Serena Campbell's a strict one, she won't let you home if she thinks you won't follow orders.'

'Do you mind?' Jac frowned at her.

'Nope' Mo ignored her and carried on reading.

'Are you looking forward to starting school?' Jac asked Ava trying to be encouraging. Ava just shrugged looking downcast. 'I'm sure it'll be better than you think' Jac took hold of Ava's hand. 'Uncle Jonny will have to drop you back here after school; we could watch a movie together if you wanted?' Jac suggested, desperate to see Ava smile.

'Ok' Ava begrudgingly gave a small smile.

'My oh my Ava, don't you just look a picture!' Lola Griffin grinned as she entered the room.

'Seriously Lola, you can't spend all day here again.' Jac sighed.

'Can't I?' Lola asked her stubbornly sitting herself down in the corner of the room. 'Just a few words Jac, it is all it will take.' Lola sang as she searched through her knitting bag.

'Look at my wee miss, so grown up!' Jonny beamed as he entered the room dressed in scrubs.

'Why are you in scrubs?' Ava's face suddenly filled with concern. 'Who's driving me to school?'

'I am silly' Jonny pulled Ava into a hug 'we're just a bit short of nurses so I stepped in but don't worry I'm off duty now until I've safely dropped you at school.' He let Ava go and smiled at her 'so are you ready to go?'

'You can't drop me to school wearing scrubs!' Ava looked horrified 'everyone will see!'

'So?' Jonny laughed 'they know I'm a nurse.'

'Of course they do, don't they Ava?' Mo suddenly interjected 'Jonny if you hurry up you've got just enough time to get changed.'

'No I haven't' Jonny frowned as Mo started shoving him towards the door.

'Sure you have' Mo gave him a big push out the door 'Ava'll meet you at the entrance.' Mo shut the door in Jonny's face quickly before Jac could start her questioning at Ava's strange behaviour.

'Ava Marie Naylor-Maconie you'd better start talking and it had better be good' Jac frowned at her niece crossing her arms.

'What?' Ava crossed her arms and frowned back at her Aunt.

'Oh boy Ava would you look at the time' Mo cheerfully started shepherding Ava out of the room 'you'd better go and wait for Uncle Jonny at the entrance, there's a good girl.'

'This isn't over young lady!' Jac yelled after her niece as Mo opened and shut the door once more.

'Maureen Effanga soon to be Levy, you so better have an explanation for what just happened.' Jac now directed her glare at Mo.

'Erm, maybe it might be best if Ava explains it…' Mo started to say before Jac's increasingly icy stare changed her mind for her '...so what happened was this. Ava's at school on the last day of term, you know the posh school you send her to with the many rich children, and they start talking about what their parents do etc. etc. Anyway it occurs to Ava that the situation at her house is a little different in that the mother figure, that's you, doesn't stay at home organising whatever it is rich ladies organise and instead has a high powered important job and the father figure, that's Jonny, is…well…not the main bread winner.'

'This is causing me to have a headache' Jac complained slumping back against her pillows.

'Sorry' Mo gave Jac an apologetic look 'it's so much more complicated when you're not a twelve year old girl isn't it? So anyway the girls suddenly want to know what Ava's parents do for a living and Ava is a little reluctant to tell them. So then that snooty nosed Julia' Mo pulled a disgusted face 'suddenly starts teasing Ava saying she must be a scholarship kid because she's seen her at the hospital and both her parents are nurses.'

'How and when did Julia see Ava at the hospital?' Jac asked a confused look falling across her face.

'Seriously? That's the part you are focusing on?' Mo shook her head. 'Anyway so Ava, in her child like wisdom, says of course her parents aren't nurses her Auntie Jac is an internationally renowned heart surgeon and Uncle Jonny is the best CEO holby city hospital could hope for. Anyway that's when Julia made the bitchy comments about Ava's looks'

'Oh dear' Lola chuckled from her corner where she sat knitting.

'She really said that?' Jac's face lit up 'I'm internationally renowned?'

'Seriously?!' Mo exclaimed flopping down into the chair beside Jac's bed 'I think you're missing the vital point of the story!'

'Oh right yes she lied' Jac suddenly put on a serious face 'and that is wrong and will very much hurt Jonny's feelings when he finds out she embarrassed by his job.'

'But surely Ava realises being director of nursing is an important roll?' Lola queried.

'Eh to a kid he's still just a nurse' Mo shrugged. 'So what are you going to do?' she asked Jac.

'Surely Ava would know it wouldn't be hard for Julia' Jac pulled a disgusted face 'to find out the CEO of Holby City Hospital isn't Jonny Maconie?'

'She's still just a kid Jac' Mo laughed 'she might be your little genius but she's still acts like any other child when backed into a corner.'

'Maybe when Julia does find out Ava's own embarrassment will be enough?' Jac shrugged.

'What about Jonny?' Mo asked

'Maybe he doesn't have to know?' Jac asked Mo.

'Your call' Mo shrugged.

'Well thank you Godmother of the year that's very helpful.' Jac rolled her eyes sarcastically. 'Why didn't she tell me?'

'She told you about the 'ginger ghost' comments' Mo shrugged again 'maybe she just thought she'd be in trouble if she told you the first half of it.'

'What did you say to her?' Jac queried.

'That I thought she'd done the wrong thing and she'd have to work out her own way to right it' Mo chuckled 'although just then I thought today might not be the best day for that.'

'Being a godmother is so much easier than being the actual parent' Jac complained.

'It might not be my place to say…' Lola started to speak from her corner

'But I'm sure you will anyway' Jac sighed.

'I don't think Ava likes her school very much' Lola finished off.

'She's fine' Jac snapped 'it's a good school and the bits she doesn't like she'll just have to tough out.'

'You don't sound overly confident about that' Lola spoke quietly as she counted stitches.

'Hello my gorgeously beautiful wife' Jonny grinned as he entered Jac's room carrying a box. 'Oh sorry Lola' he suddenly blushed 'I didn't realise you were in here.'

'No, don't be embarrassed on my account' Lola stifled a laugh 'I'll go and get some lunch, leave you two alone.' She smiled to herself as she left room thinking how lucky Jac was Jonny meant the words he spoke to her everyday.

'She seriously isn't going to give up is she?' Jonny laughed as he sat next to his wife on the bed, setting the box down on her lap.

'Jonny' Jac shook her head at him recognising the box as the same one from Granddad George's will reading 'I can't open that.'

'Yes you can' Jonny kissed her cheek 'you're so much stronger now.'

'I've had two sessions with the psychiatrist and you think I'm cured?' Jac glared at him putting the box on her bedside cabinet 'I'm not ready.'

'What about this then?' Jonny pulled out of his pocket the envelope addressed to Jac in George's neat handwriting. 'I read mine the day you were admitted and it really helped.'

'If I can't look at my grandmothers' jewellery, you seriously think I can read my grandfather's words?' Jac glared at him incredulously. 'Just go back to work.'

'No, I'm spending time with you' Jonny set the letter down on the bed tray before putting his arm around Jac. She sat as stiff as board, refusing to give into him. 'You don't have to look at either of those, I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought them' he spoke softly now, realising he shouldn't have tried so soon. 'I love you' he kissed her neck and nuzzled her hair, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist as she leaned against him.

'I just want to go home, I hate being in here' she spoke sadly, burying her face against his shoulder.

'I know, but they want to be sure you're not going to end up dehydrated again.' Jonny smoothed her hair for her. 'Did you manage to eat any lunch?'

'I had half a cheese sandwich, will that do you?' Jac looked up at him smiling apologetically, feeling guilty her appetite still hadn't returned to anywhere near normal.

'It's a start' he smiled encouragingly at her. 'so have you thought anymore about a change of location?' he asked casually.

'Jonny, you said you weren't going to pressure me' Jac sighed.

'But have you?' Jonny looked at her with his puppy dog eyes.

'Have you?' Jac glared into his pleading blue eyes 'because if you really thought about it rationally you have thought about all we would be leaving behind.'

'Think about what we'd be gaining' Jonny implored her 'freash air, green environment, peace and quiet...' Jonny let his voice trail off seeing Jac's face wasn't going to soften. 'Maybe I'll just give you a little bit more space to consider it.'

'For your own sake I'd say that was a good idea' Jac muttered laying her head on his chest.

'So what did Jonny bring you?' Lola asked she sat herself back in her chair in Jac's room.

'Just something Granddad left me in his will.' Jac answered her not looking uo from the work she was doing on her laptop.

'Anything interesting?' Lola asked conversationally as she studied the pattern of the sweater she was knitting.

'Just some jewellery of my grandmother's, love letters written between my grandparents and a letter Granddad wrote to me' Jac answered her monotonously. She had tried ignoring Lola the previous day but that had proved impossible when Lola had filled in the empty silences with singing. 'I can't bear to open the box or read the letter so it was rather pointless of Jonny to bring it.'

'You can't bear to read a letter from your own Grandfather?' Lola queried rising an eyebrow.

'Now I know he knew, no I cannot bare to read his words' Jac sighed irritably.

'Seems a shame' Lola continued talking as she worked her next row of stitches 'he obviously had things he wanted to say to you.' They sat in silence for the next half an hour with Lola knitting and Jac typing on her laptop. Lola could see Jac taking side long glances at the unopened letter sitting on her bed tray. 'I'm going to get a coffee' Lola stretched herself as she stood up. 'You want anything hon?' she watched as Jac shook her head, staring at the letter as though it might disappear.

Jac waited for Lola to close the door behind her before picking up the letter with a shaking hand. She opened it carefully, pulling out a single sheet of folded A4 paper.

'My beautiful courageous Jac,

I always thought your letter would be the hardest and longest one I'd have to write but then more time I spent with you I realised I only need write the simplest truth; I loved you with all my heart. You are without doubt the most precious gift I was given and I was so proud of you.

I don't know if you knew but when you first came back into our lives Jasmine was a little jealous of you. I don't know what she expected to find but what she had was an older sister who was pretty, intelligent, successful and who had a life so full of love. Not exactly the picture her mother had painted of you. Jasmine said I'd doted on you, you were clearly my favourite. She apologised later for being childish but I'd understood. Whilst I loved both of you girls equally there was a bond between you and I, a gaping hole when you were gone in my life was suddenly filled again when she made you come back to us. I couldn't explain it to Jasmine then and I most certainly couldn't describe it to you now but you will always be my Jackie girl.

I owe you an explanation Jac for I know that my death will have brought to your attention the fact I knew things about your time in care you didn't want me know. I have a copy of your social services file that should either be in the hands of my solicitor or locked in the bottom draw of my desk. Jasmine had left letters on her laptop addressed to your mother, angry letters telling her what she left you to contend with. I'll admit it at first I was shocked. How on earth could this have happened to my perfect little Jac? Then I was angry; these things should never have been allowed to happen to you. I made a vow to myself as long as there was a breath left in my body I would get justice for you. Somehow those responsible for your suffering would pay. As to what I'd do to that piece of filth who raped you well let's just say he would meet quite a horrific end.

If you are reading this then I wasn't successful in my quest for justice for you and for that I am truly sorry. I loved you so much Jac it pained me know what you had endure. It wasn't your fault, please believe I knew it none of it happened to you because of anything you did or did not do. Also know I did not pity you; instead I admired your bravery, your strength and your sheer determination to carry on through the hell that tormented you. The word 'proud' does little to express the level of honour I felt at being your Grandfather. To be able to say to people at your work 'I'm Ms Naylor's Granddad' was a delight I never tired of especially to see the awed faces at the mere mention of your name. You are a magnificent woman Jac and I can think of no greater role model for Ava than you.

That child is a beautiful mixture of yourself and Jasmine. You and Jonny are doing a marvellous job of raising her. I have no doubt she will turn into an exquisite human being full of the all the kindness and well placed furiousness to match both her mother and you. Ava makes you happy Jac, I see it in your face every time you look at her. Cherish it and revel in it Jac for your smile is beautiful and should be seen every day. I'll add to that you should do the same with your husband. I meant what I said at your wedding; I willingly gave him your hand because he has given you his heart as gladly as you give him yours. Trust in that love Jac because it will last you a life time.

I love you, I am so proud of you, I will forever be your Granddad George'

'Oh Hon' Lola spoke softly to Jac when she returned to the room an hour later. Jac was laid on her side, the tear stained letter lying next to her. Her face was tear stained but she had exhausted herself of sobbing. Lola awkwardly lay her large frame next to Jac on the bed, smoothing the woman's auburn hair. 'Would you like me to get Jonny for you?' Lola asked her.

'No he's working' Jac spoke slowly.

'I'm sure he wouldn't mind' Lola soothed her.

'Lola, it wasn't my fault' Jac muttered softly.

'What wasn't Hon?' Lola kept her voice level although she was momentarily stunned her ploy had worked.

'The rape, it wasn't my fault' Jac whispered it, but Lola definitely heard it.

'Of course it wasn't Hon, it never was your fault.' Lola wrapped her arm around Jac and held her, a small comfort in this momentous moment.