A/N—I'm back! I'm still settling back into my daily routine after vacation, and have been distracted by a lot of things so the writing isn't happening as often as it was before (or at all). I've gotten into a habit of posting twice a week for this story, but I need to write a lot more before I can post the next chapter so I don't know when it will be up. Hopefully not more than a week! Thanks for coming back to this if you're here, and I hope you enjoy this one! It picks up where the last one left off, after the emotional talk between James, Kendall, and Noah, followed by story time. :)

As was becoming the routine, James and Kendall kissed their way to James' bedroom, but Kendall interrupted the heated moment because there was something that needed to be said. "Hey," he whispered, that being all he could get out before lips were on him again. He gently pushed James away and continued, "I'm proud of you."

That surprised James enough to pause his ardor. "What?"

"I know how scary that was for you, to talk about your feelings with Noah. And to hear everything he had to say. And you could've said hateful things about his grandma, but you didn't, and I'm proud of you for it. I just wanted you to know that."

"You're proud of me," James repeated slowly.

"Yeah. Is that...okay?" Now Kendall wondered if he'd said the wrong thing, if James would somehow take that as being talked down to.

Long fingers slid up Kendall's chest to meet around his neck before James answered. "You know...you're the first person to say that to me for as long as I can remember. You said it once before, and I never told you how it made me feel, but...thanks. It means more to me than you can imagine, because I look up to you so much and if I can make you proud..."

"You really shouldn't put me up on a pedestal, James. I'm not perfect."

"You're the closest thing I've ever found to it." James followed the words with a long kiss that emphasized everything he was trying to say. "I need to go do my face before bed, but...don't forget where we left off."

Kendall frowned when James moved away. "Do your face?"

"Yeah." He flipped on the bedroom light, and once seated at the vanity he added, "I've been slacking off since Noah came into my life and I haven't had to dance, but this face is part of my meal ticket so I need to keep it in shape."

Amused, Kendall sat on the bed to watch as James picked up a pouch of some sort of face wipes. "You have nothing to worry about, babe, that face is beautiful."

"And just why do you think that is, sexy?" James smirked. "I have a ritual. Laugh and I'll deck you."

Kendall found it adorable. "Any other rituals I should know about before I marry you?"

"Well, you already know about the cooking thing, with the music and the wine." His face clean, he applied some sort of serum to it. "And I need to get back to working out. I miss that, it helps me cope. Once I get Noah in school, I can start hitting the gym again. Oh, that reminds me. Babe, can you check my phone and see if Paul called? It's in the kitchen. So is your dinner, but that can wait if you don't mind."

"No problem." Though he was quite enjoying the current view (for some reason he'd never understand, he found it fascinating to watch James apply mysterious creams and lotions to his face), Kendall hopped up from the bed. He'd made it halfway down the hall when James called out to him.

"It's on 'Do Not Disturb' so you'll have to turn that off!"

"Got it!"

Finding James' phone was easy; figuring out how to turn that off wasn't, as Kendall had never used the "Do Not Disturb" mode. Eventually he found the right button, and the moment he shut it off James' phone went into what felt like a never-ending series of vibrations as notifications popped up.

His boyfriend was certainly popular.

By the time it stopped, Kendall had returned to the bedroom and sunk down on the bed again.

"Anything from Paul?"

"Getting there. You missed a lot."

"That's why I use that mode."

"How come I always get through?"

"Because you're listed in my favorites, silly. I set up who I want to be able to reach me no matter what."

"Oh." That brought a smile to Kendall's face. "Thanks."

"Duh," James chuckled, now patting his own cheeks lightly for some unknown reason. "Anything from Paul?"

"Uh...let me see. Babe, you have twenty-five missed calls."

"Good, they're finally getting the message that when I say 'vacation,' I mean it. Yesterday there were almost fifty. Just look for Paul, I don't care about anybody else right now. Except Logan. Oh, and Carlos; he's supposed to call when he figures out the move-in date."

"He's thinking Sunday, but he'll call and let you know for sure." Kendall started scrolling, noting that Paul had indeed left a message three hours prior. Curiosity kept his thumb moving, though, and while most of the missed calls were from names he didn't recognize, Kendall did recognize one—and that name had called three times since morning. "Jett's sure anxious to get in touch with you."

"Ugh," James groaned. "I know. I really do need to call him, I feel bad. But he was a dick to my son, and to you. Unless...did you exaggerate that out of jealousy?"

"No! He really was. Why is he calling so much? Were you guys like...serious?"

"No, babe, nothing like that. Although I guess he was the guy I brought home most often." Apparently finished with his ritual, James twisted around on the tiny bench to face Kendall. "He works with me at the club. We were a duo for awhile. You know, we'd dance together on stage. But then the owner suggested I start doing my own thing, and..." James shrugged. "I feel a little bad about that, too. But I bring in a bigger audience, so..."

"I'm not at all surprised. I've seen you dance."

"He's not bad, he's just...I don't really know. For whatever reason, I'm the one people come back for."

Kendall nodded slowly. "Again, I'm not surprised. So you were sleeping with him, but also friends?"

"I guess. We never really hung out, except sometimes we'd stop and get food on the way here. But I made sure not to make him a habit because I didn't want him thinking we were going somewhere. So he was more like...god, this sounds so bad. You're gonna think I'm an asshole."

"Don't hold back with me, babe. I don't want you to feel like there's anything you have to hide."

James chewed on his bottom lip, eyes looking a lot like Noah's when the boy was afraid to say something wrong. "I just don't want you to think I'm some slut."

"Am I the only person you're sleeping with now?"

"Of course! There's been no one else since our first date!"

"Exactly," Kendall smiled. "I know that. You're not a slut."

"Well, I kind of was before you. But only when I was really lonely and couldn't stand it. Sometimes I'd pick up a guy at the club, but when I just didn't feel like putting in the effort, Jett was always willing to come home with me. And I feel like an asshole for taking advantage of that."

"Don't. He knew what you were offering, and more importantly, what you weren't. Does he know about Noah?"

"No. Nobody there does. All I told my boss was that I needed some time off for personal stuff, and since I never call out or anything he had no problem with it as long as I promised to come back. He says they don't make as much money on my nights off."

Kendall let out an amused sound. "Aaaaaaand again—not at all surprised."

"You're biased," James grinned, but he was loving the repeated compliments. "Most of those calls are from people who book me for private shows. It says on my outgoing message that I won't be available for a few weeks, but..." James shrugged.

"You're in high demand."

"Something like that." James actually blushed (Kendall finding that adorable, too) before asking, "So did Paul call or not?"

"Oh! Yeah! Sorry, babe, here."

James took the phone and found what he was looking for, then played the voicemail on speaker so they could both listen.

"Hi, James, this is Paul Gardenas. I know we haven't discussed our terms yet, but I went ahead and contacted Noah's grandparents about the birth certificate since I know you're anxious to get him in school. I was lucky enough to catch Pete, and he apologized for the inconvenience. He was under the impression that Sherry put it in Noah's suitcase. We set up a time in the morning when Sherry won't be home, and I think it's best if I go just in case she shows up. If you'd rather go yourself, let me know. Otherwise, I'm available to meet with you at ten to discuss the situation, and I'll have the certificate with me. Just let me know. Thank you."

Kendall's first question was, "Pete's the grandpa?"

"Yep." James seemed torn between being angry at Sherry and impressed with Paul. "He's easier to deal with than the bitch. I can't believe he already did all that, before we even discussed payment. Paul, I mean. He's awesome."

"I think he was a good choice to represent you, should that time come," Kendall agreed. "And ten is perfect for me, since that's about when I take my lunch break tomorrow. Unless he needs to meet you at his office, which...where is that?"

"Not far from Black Forest, actually. I'm not sure where Shannon was living when she died, but I'm starting to think she purposely chose a lawyer not too close to her mom's house. They're two cities over."

"Same county, though?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Just makes things easier when dealing with the courts. Not that you'll have to, I'm just thinking ahead. Based on what Noah said about her coming to get him, and the fact that they sent over no belongings other than a week's worth of clothes, I'm almost positive she's going to make a move soon."

The mere thought of it drained away the color James had patted into his cheeks. "What can she really do, though? I'm his dad. She can't make that go away."

No, but there were ways to paint James as an unsuitable parent. Kendall decided not to go into that, not now when James was finally getting a handle on his emotions. "Let's not worry about that until we have to. One day at a time, remember?"

"Right. Serenity prayer. Okay then. Let me just call Paul and let him know tomorrow is a go. I expect you to be naked and ready for me in thirty seconds."

It only took Kendall fifteen.

"He got the certificate! See you soon, sexy."

This was followed by a string of hearts and a winky face and...something else Kendall wasn't quite sure of but it might have been a kissy face? He wasn't too versed in the art of emojis.

Still, he grinned down at his phone display, his heart lighter for the text. After reaching for the coffee he'd prepared for himself before retiring to Black Forest's breakroom, Kendall put a call through.

"Babe! Did you get my text?! Paul got it!"

"I saw," Kendall chuckled, in love with the excitement he heard in James' voice. "Did he have any problems?"

"I don't know, I'll ask when I meet up with him later. We'll be there right before ten, if that still works for you?"

"It's perfect. I was thinking I'd take Noah across the street to the burger place, since I'll need to eat something. Did you guys get breakfast?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure he won't mind some fries or a cookie. I really need to start feeding him better."

"One thing at a time, babe. How's it going today?"

"Good, actually. Got him up and dressed, cooked breakfast, and tried watching some cartoons with him but he's not really into that. So now he's sitting in his room reading. But I don't feel like he's avoiding me; he just loves his desk. We miss you already."

The last two comments had Kendall smiling again. He'd built that desk. "I miss you guys, too."

"Hey, so when are you free for the uh..." James' voice dropped to a hush. "Shots?" Then he returned to his normal volume. "I want you to be there, because it might be hard on him. You have class tonight, right?"

Did he? Kendall still hadn't made up his mind about that, though he was leaning toward dropping the semester. "We can go after I get off work today."

"How much time does that give us? There might be a wait at the clinic and I don't want to make you late for school."

"Don't worry about me, babe. Noah's more important right now."

"You both are important. I can find a place closer to your school if that helps. But I just realized I don't even know where that is."

"Don't worry about it," he said again. "Let's get Noah taken care of. If we get the certificate and the immunizations today, he can start tomorrow, right?"

"God, I hope so. The woman said that's all he needed. Are you sure? I hate that we keep uprooting your life."

"You're not," Kendall promised. That wasn't exactly the truth, but Kendall didn't mind it, so it was fine. "I don't mind—"

"What? Yeah, you want to talk to him?" Two seconds later James said, "Kendall, he wants to talk to you."

"Oh. Sure!" Praying it wasn't anything bad, Kendall waited to hear Noah's voice.

"Kendall?"

"Hey, buddy!" The huge smile was back. "Good morning!"

"Hi! Daddy cooked pancakes again. You missed it!"

"I missed pancakes? Aww man! I'll make sure to get some over the weekend, when I have time to stay for breakfast."

"Daddy said we're coming to see you today! At the cabin!"

"Yep. I'm gonna take you out for lunch, if that's okay."

"Just me?!"

"Just you. I can't wait."

"When?"

"Soon. I actually have to go back to work now, but I'll see you in a few hours. Is everything okay today? No problems with Daddy?"

"No. We watched T.V. after breakfast. Now I'm reading! I finished the book about the dog."

"Did he solve the mystery?"

"He did! It was the butler! What's a butler?"

"Uh...it's a guy who works for a family and takes care of things around the house. He's always there and probably sees everything, so it would be easy for him to hide a crime."

"Yeah, nobody knew it was him! Now I'm reading about a boy who dreams about flying to other planets!"

"Sounds pretty exciting, bud. You'll have to show me that one tonight."

"Can you stay again tonight?"

"Absolutely. I gotta go, okay? But I love you."

Kendall hadn't meant to say that, hadn't even known it was a thought in his mind. When Noah said nothing in return, he realized what he'd said and swallowed hard. "Noah?"

"Babe?"

"James? Where's...did I scare him?"

"What did you say? He was fine, and then suddenly he wasn't. I grabbed the phone and he ran off to his room."

Kendall's heart sank. "I told him I love him. I didn't mean to, it just..."

"And that upset him? Really? He freaking adores you, why would that upset him?"

"I don't know. Maybe you should go talk to him about it."

"No way. I can't even get him to talk to me about me. You two can figure it out over lunch."

"I guess," Kendall sighed. "But still, check on him. I'll see you soon."

"Okay. I love you."

With James, there was no hesitation. "I love you, too."

"Hi, Carlos!"

Kendall was on his knees behind the counter, digging for a container of almond milk that had somehow been pushed all the way to the back, but he recognized that joyous greeting from Noah immediately. He straightened and moved closer to the register, James' eyes lighting up at the sight of him. Noah was slower to react, and when he did, it was to avert his eyes.

No. No fucking way, I am not going through this with Noah.

He rested his elbows on the counter and leaned forward. "Hey, kiddo. Ready for lunch?"

"Not hungry." Still he wouldn't meet Kendall's gaze.

"Well, I am, and I don't want to eat alone. Give me five minutes and we'll head out, okay?"

Noah said nothing. James offered Kendall a sympathetic gaze before paying for their order, and Kendall moved back to his place with a heavy heart. If this was how it felt to not have Noah's trust, he wanted no part of it.

There was an added coffee to the usual order, which Kendall assumed must be for Paul. Sure enough, the man stepped into the building a moment later and James greeted him with a handshake before leading him to a table, Noah's hand secure in James'.

Once the orders were done, Kendall called out, "Monica, I'm taking my lunch!" She waved him away, and he carried the three drinks over to James' table. "Here you go, gentlemen. Paul, nice to see you again. Thanks for coming through on that paperwork. Noah, I'm just gonna go take off my apron, okay?"

There might've a been a nod; Kendall couldn't be sure.

Because Noah needed both hands to hold his hot cocoa (also because Kendall wasn't sure if Noah even wanted to hold his hand), Kendall used one on the boy's shoulder to steer him toward the intersection. He allowed Noah to keep his silence until they were approaching the counter of the fast food place, then bent down to one knee.

"Want a snack to go with the hot chocolate?"

Noah shook his head.

"Not even some fries? I know you love those."

Again, the response was a negative. Kendall shrugged, then placed his order. He added on an extra bag of fries and a cookie, hoping he could sway Noah. By the time the order was ready, he realized the conversation they needed to have might not work in a public place. "How about we take this back to the cabin?"

There was no agreement, but also no argument. Kendall took that as a yes and together they returned to Black Forest, again in mostly silence.

James started to stand when he spied them, worried something had gone wrong. "We're gonna eat in the breakroom," Kendall shared. He shook his head when James opened his mouth. "Come find us when you're done."

"I got it," James blurted.

Well, that was welcome news. "Great! Thanks again, Paul. Noah, come keep me company while I eat lunch."

Again the boy said nothing, but Kendall wasn't going to be deterred. Noah hopped up onto a chair in the breakroom, holding onto his hot cocoa as if it was a safety net. "Is that still warm enough for you?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Let me know if it gets cold and I'll make another one." When Noah fell silent, Kendall bit into his burger and said, "Okay, spill it. What did I say that upset you?"

Scared hazel eyes glanced up at him before dropping. Noah sipped at his cocoa.

"Noah, I'm a wizard. I can tell when you're lying or hiding something. I need you to be honest with me." He gave Noah time to think that over, then gently prompted, "You can tell me anything."

"I don't want you to go."

"Go where?"

"Away."

Kendall leaned forward, having to strain to hear because Noah was staring down and barely moving his lips. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You will if I say it."

Kendall's brows drew together. "Say what? I won't get mad."

"But you'll disappear. Like my mom did."

It took a bit for Kendall to puzzle it out, but after thinking back on what he'd said, he thought he understood what Noah meant. "Did you tell her you love her?"

"She left."

"When?"

"After I said it. She left and never came back."

"And you think it's because you loved her? Because you told her you did?"

Noah shrugged, unsure.

"Had you said it before?"

A shake of blond hair was the answer.

"I see. So you said it, and then she left, and then she died."

Tortured, pleading eyes finally met Kendall's. "I don't want you to die."

Kendall slid an open hand across the table. Both of Noah's remained in his lap until Kendall wiggled his fingers, silently inviting the touch. Finally a smaller hand settled over his and he wrapped his fingers around it. "Your mom didn't die because you love her. She died because she was sick. Remember, you told me about that."

"But she was sick all the time. She didn't die until I said it."

"That's not why. I promise."

"Then why did it happen?"

"Because..." Why indeed? Kendall thought he knew why, but how to explain that without tainting his memory of Shannon? "Because she made a mistake. A big one."

"Daddy said he makes mistakes, too. He's gonna disappear, isn't he?"

The fact that Noah seemed distressed by the idea was actually progress, in Kendall's opinion. "He won't make that same mistake. He doesn't do the bad stuff anymore. And that's why your mom died. She was doing the bad stuff. But she didn't mean to leave you."

"What if I say it again and you and Daddy don't come back?"

Kendall shoved his bag aside, then held out his other hand. Noah took it so that both sets of hands were holding tight. "Say it now."

"No!" He tried to pull away. Kendall didn't let him.

"I'm right here and I'm not going to disappear. Try it."

"No! You'll leave and you won't come back!"

"Hold on tight to me and say it. I love you, Noah. Do you love me?"

Noah shook his head wildly and was still trying to free his hands. This wasn't going to work. He tried a different tack. After letting go of Noah's hands and scooting his chair out, he patted his lap. "Come hold on to me so I can't go anywhere."

That much Noah could do. He hopped up and hugged Kendall tight, Kendall returning the gesture. "Say it now."

Noah didn't want to.

"You're holding on so I can't leave. It's okay. Say the words."

Noah's entire body was trembling.

"I love you," Kendall whispered. "I'm right here."

"I..."

"Yes?"

"I'm scared."

"I know. But you're not alone. Loving people means you're never alone."

"Promise?"

"On Scampers' soul."

"Okay, I'll try. But if you disappear after I say it, remember that I love you."

Kendall's lips quirked up. "I won't forget. You ready to say it?"

"I don't know."

"Guess what, buddy? You just did."

Noah leaned back suddenly, wide eyes full of terror. "What?"

"You already said it. And I'm still here."

The realization hit that Kendall was right, and Noah waited in fear. Slowly he calmed down.

"You ready to let go?"

"You won't go anywhere?"

"Nope. I'm just gonna sit here and eat my burger. And my fries, which are fantastic."

Clutching fingers loosened. Kendall reached for a fry and offered it to Noah. The boy opened his mouth, Kendall grinning before popping it in. "Good, right?"

"Yummy."

"Why don't you head back to your own chair and you can have more? I bet your hot chocolate's starting to get cold now, so you'd better drink it up."

The threat of cold cocoa was enough to get Noah moving. He slid off Kendall's lap and jumped onto his chair to sip from the cup, a hungry gaze drifting to the fries.

"So are we okay? You're gonna talk to me again? It hurts my feelings when you don't look at me or talk to me. I miss my buddy."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I know you were scared. But what's important is to tell me why you're scared, like you just did. Your dad, too. We just want to help you through whatever's upsetting you. So if you get scared again, you can tell us. We'll fix it. Okay?"

"Kay."

"Want some more fries?"

"Yeah. I wish I got some."

Kendall leaned forward as if to impart a secret. "Well, lucky for you, wizards can predict some things. I had a feeling you would. This bag of fries is for you, and so is this cookie. Though I might want a bite of that."

A gasp transformed Noah's face into that of a happy little boy again, which Kendall thought they hadn't seen nearly enough of. Yet. Noah eagerly reached for his fries, then changed his mind and went for the cookie instead. He surprised Kendall, though, and broke it in half rather than dig in. "Here." One half was set down next to Kendall's burger. "That's for you."

"Thanks! You're the best buddy a guy could have."

Back to his old self, Noah chewed happily on his fries. Kendall did the same.