Thank you guys so much for all your amazing, wonderful reviews! I've been having a tough week (we had to put our kitten to sleep and she wasn't even a year old) and then I get on here and see all your fantastic reviews and it makes my day better. I really, truly appreciate all of you so much!

gurl3677: it amazes me that people are so attached to my character. It makes me super happy that everyone is so protective of her XD

SaraLostInes: If you felt sick then it means I'm doing my job! Hope it wasn't too bad

MulishaMaiden: Yeah, the boys feel pretty awful about what happened to Mimi, but she's the one who got herself involved in all this, really.

Valerie Mackin: Thank you!

Sierra: I'm glad you liked it!

Azalia Fox Knightling: oh yes, lots of blood and sweat and everything else!

Dalonega Noquisi: Thank you!

.mightier: Less torture and more smut? haha well there will be more torture and really not much smut... I like sex but I try not to be to detailed about it lol

Callie: I'm so glad you're addicted!

AnnW: I'm so happy you love this! And your pm really made my day 3

Chapter 21

Begin Again

For so long, every time now, so long

All will see, all with breathe

Oh, I'll begin again, and it hurts

Oh so you really understand

-"Begin Again" by Gratitude

When I came to, the first thing I saw was Val's face up close to mine. It had only been a little over a month since I'd last seen her, but she seemed like something from another life. Her face split into that familiar sneering grin, and I knew she was happy to see me.

"Mimi! You're awake! Somebody! Mimi's awake!" She was gesturing wildly to someone I couldn't see.

I felt numb, so numb that I could barely move my head to look around. I was in a hospital room, one I recognized as being in Stewart Memorial. Those blank walls and tiled floors. I was in the hospital bed, a blanket pulled up to my chin. Though I couldn't feel it, I knew I must have been hooked up to all the machines pulled up around the bed.

There was the sound of heavy footsteps and two nurses came through the open door, wearing matching scrubs. Although I might have recognized them at one point, their faces now didn't register in my memory.

"How are you feeling, Mimi?" one of the nurses asked, checking my vitals on the monitors.

I opened my mouth but it took a few seconds before I could make a sound. "I'm thirsty," I finally croaked.

"I bet." The second nurse commented, checking the IV with the saline drip. "You were severely dehydrated when you came in."

I tried to wet my throat; it was so dry. "W-what happened?"

The first nurse frowned and glanced at her companion. "Isabel, why don't you take Val back to St. Rose for a while?"

The second nurse nodded and ushered Val, clutching Mr. Bear, out of the room.

"What happened?" I repeated, a little louder this time.

The nurse sighed and took my hand in hers. "Mimi, you've suffered a lot of damage. Your body isn't going to look quite the same as it did before."

I took a deep breath. I hadn't expected to even survive the torture room. Surely I could handle a little change.

"You've got a broken nose that was already starting to set when you were brought in. We re-broke it to set it correctly," the nurse explained. I brought my hand to my nose and winced; it was heavily bandaged. "There were also two broken ribs."

"And?" I was waiting for her to get to the most important part.

She frowned, looking down at the offending articles, hidden beneath the sheet. "Your feet and legs have been very badly damaged. You were in the ICU for three days, and then the burn unit for two. We don't know yet if the damage will effect your ability to walk."

"Can I see them?" I asked. I couldn't move my sore, numb arms enough to pull the blankets all the way back.

The nurse gingerly took the blankets and peeled them back. I looked, ready to be horrified, but both my legs were heavily bandaged all the way up past my knees. I couldn't even see a hint of flesh, mutilated or otherwise.

I sank back against the pillows, defeated. "What do they look like?"

The nurse replaced the blankets. "The burns are pretty bad. We've been doing the best we can to prevent scarring, but there's only so much we can do. The wounds all over your body have an infection, which is our biggest concern right now. The bottoms of your feet are really bad. There are..." She paused, thinking of a tactful way of saying it. "Whole chunks of flesh missing. We're doing our best, but you have to understand that your legs and feet aren't going to look the same..."

I looked past her suddenly, through the doorway. There were Connor and Murphy, looking more relieved than I'd ever seen them. The nurse followed my gaze and, when she saw them, excused herself.

They rushed into the room, closing the door behind them. Connor came to my left side, Murphy to my right. There was silence for a moment as though no one knew quite what to say.

Finally I said, "Hi."

"Christ, what the fuck happened, Mimi?" Connor finally demanded, taking my hand. It looked small and pale in his. I was on so much pain medication that I couldn't quite feel it.

I sighed, feeling Murphy take my other hand. "I was at work and the Romanian woman came in. Ana. I hid behind the counter so she wouldn't see me, but it didn't help. She shot one of my coworkers and my manager." I didn't like thinking about Katie. I kept seeing her blank eyes staring at me, as if asking for help.

"Aye, we heard about that from Dolly," Connor nodded solemnly, brushing a stray lock of hair off my forehead. "Nasty scene, that was. The media had a field day with it. So did she see you behind the counter?"

"I guess." Even though I must have been out for days, I was exhausted. "She grabbed me and hit me over the head. Next thing I knew I was in the torture chamber. She hit me and kicked me few times. I guess that's how I got the cracked ribs and broken nose. And she branded me."

"She what?" Murphy finally spoke, his tone absolutely incredulous.

I took my hands back so I could lift up my hospital gown and show them the puffy red scar there. It was still tender, though the pain wasn't nearly as intense anymore. The shape, once the swelling had gone down, looked like half a heart.

Murphy looked away, closing his eyes. "Fuck."

Connor tried to look at his brother, but Murphy refused to meet his gaze. "Is that when she put you in the spiked thing?"

"Yeah," I nodded, pulling the gown back down to cover my plain black panties. "The old man came in and told her to quit fooling around. Then I got put in the Chinese Iron Maiden. How long was I there?"

"Five days," Connor answered, leaning back in his chair. "The longest fucking five days of my life. We searched everywhere for you, Mimi. Everywhere."

I glanced at Murphy, still looking down. "Where was the torture room? It's here in Boston, isn't it?"

"Aye," Connor answered bitterly. "Right under our fucking noses. It's near the bay, underneath some old warehouse. Probably the warehouse they've been using for their deals."

I ran my tongue over my healing split lip. "Did you get her? Ana, I mean. I heard gunshots right before I passed out."

"I got her in the shoulder and the leg, but she got away." Connor ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know if the wounds will be bad enough for her to go to a hospital."

Murphy shook his head. "She won't go. They're into torture; she can handle a little fucking pain. She's not going to risk it."

There was a pause, during which Connor sighed again. "I better go call Smecker," he announced. "He wanted an update on your status." He pressed a sweet kiss to my forehead and left, pulling the door closed after him. I was pretty positive he wasn't going to call Smecker; he was just that good of a brother.

Murphy finally turned his eyes to mine, and he looked awful. He probably hadn't been sleeping. "I am so fucking sorry, Mimi," he began.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," I interrupted firmly. "I was the one who got myself into this mess, not you. And I'm alive, aren't I?"

I saw his eyes flicker to my covered legs, and I could only imagine that he'd seen them un-bandaged. "But the things that bitch did to you..."

"Look, I'm already supposed to be dead, remember?" I held up my arm, the one without the IV, to show him the scars. Though red, they obviously weren't fresh. "I have dysthymia. I tried to kill myself eight months ago. I'm not even supposed to be here now. Let's consider this a victory that I'm alive, okay?"

He forced a smile; I really loved him. "You're right. If you can be strong, then I can too." He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against my lips.

The door opened and he pulled away quickly. It was the two nurses again, with a little plastic basin of water and rubber gloves. "I'm sorry to interrupt," one said. "But it's time to change your bandages, Mimi. Sir, if you'll just wait outside, we'll be done shortly."

"No," I said firmly, grabbing his arm as he got up to leave. "He can stay. I want him to stay." I didn't want to face the disaster alone.

So Murphy moved out of the way, still holding my hand, his gaze unreadable. The nurses took the blankets off the bed and very carefully began unwinding the bandages around my left leg. The burn scars started just above my knee, very faint at first. They grew more pronounced as they went down, past my knee towards my ankle. It was a map of raised, red flesh, twisting and winding its disfigured way down my once smooth skin. I had to close my eyes. There was so much burned flesh.

Though I had been pretty numb so far, the second the nurses touched my feet an agonizing pain shot through my entire body. I gripped Murphy's hand tightly, my fingers turning white.

I couldn't see my feet very well from where I was at the head of the bed, but I could see that the bandages the nurses removed were bloody and stained with something brownish; the nurse hadn't been kidding about a bad infection. I could see literal chunks of my feet missing. One of my pinkie toes was nowhere to be found, just a little nub.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to just let it go. There was so much pain and so much scarring and so much permanent damage. Crying seemed about the only option. But I couldn't cry in front of Murphy. It would only make things worse.

The nurses finished removing the bandages as quickly as they could, and then they sponged my legs and feet gently. Even when they barely touched the soft sponge to my skin, it was like I was being tortured all over again. The thought that I might never be able to walk again crossed my mind, but I quickly banished it. Dr. Mendoza always told me during our individual therapies that thoughts were more powerful than medicine.

After they had sponged my legs and feet, they had two different ointments that they used. One they put on the burns; the other they used on the infected wounds of my feet. Then they wound fresh bandages around them and excused themselves.

"You're going to be okay," Murphy told me, moving so I could see his face again. He was very earnest.

I smiled; I didn't even have to force it. "I know. You're with me."

Connor arrived a moment later, grinning. "Mimi, your friends from St. Rose are on their way to pay you a little visit. The nurses thought it was important that I warn you."

The laugh that escaped me hurt my throat. "You obviously haven't met the psych patients here yet then. It is important. You two probably ought to get out of here."

Murphy smiled and kissed me again, pressing his hand to my cheek briefly. Connor waved and the two of them left, promising to be back in a few hours.

They left just in time. Not three minutes later, the door opened and all of the Crazies came barreling in, led by Val and Mr. Bear.

Though I felt that I had changed so much since I'd been released from St. Rose, none of them had changed at all. Bex was still eating everything in sight; Gina was still whiny; Clark was still using painting class to give himself "tattoos." They were refreshingly familiar.

And curious, of course.

"What the hell happened?" Allison demanded, perched on one of the chairs. "When one of the nurses said you'd been admitted in the ER, we were sure they had the wrong name or something."

Gina, ever the charmer, asked, "Did you do it to yourself? You could ask for attention a little less dramatically, you know."

"Did it have anything to do with those torturers out on the loose?" Patrick, who had always been the smart one, asked. "We don't get to watch the news updates about it, of course, but every once in a while I'll see a paper with a headline to that effect. Hell, the newspaper is on the point of straight-up asking the Saints for help."

I wasn't good at lying, but the Crazies were lied to so often they usually just accepted whatever was told to them at face value. So I lied. "I don't really know. After I got discharged I started working at this store down in South Boston, and I was working my shift the other day and somebody came in and kidnapped me. Tortured me. It was awful." At least that part wasn't a lie.

"How'd you escape?" This was from Clark. He was sitting next to Allison, picking at the paint caked to his hairy arm.

I shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. I was there for five days, they say. No food and no water. I was pretty delirious by the end."

They sat there for the better part of an hour, grilling me. Only Val said nothing. She just sat there and held my hand. Eventually one of my nurses came in and took them back to the psych wing, saying I needed my rest. She wasn't lying. I fell asleep almost immediately.

I guess this isn't so much a crucial, action-packed chapter, but after what Mimi went through I figured she deserved a break! Please review!