I don't own Drrr. So I did what I was supposed to do from the very start and searched up symptoms of depression. Yeah, yeah booo me. I'm an improviser, I'm sorry. So I think Izaya is more clinically accurate here, but probably OOC cuz of that. Then again he's been OOC this entire time, so wtw. Tell me is it better or should I go back to improvising.

„Awww, Shizu-chan, won't you let me watch my show one more time before I die. Puff no need to get so angry."

"I'm tired Shizu-chan, leave me alone. I don't wana get air. I wana sleep."

"Awww, does Shizu-chan not trust me? Tch, tch I assure you I have quit Yakuza once and for all. I am a man of my word Shizu-chan. It hurts me that you don't believe me."

"…okay."

"Leave me alone Shizu-chan! This is all your fault, don't try to pretend it's not! If it was up to me I would be dead long time ago!"

"Shut up, just shut up and leave me alone."

"I'm not crying you protozoan, I don't cry. I never cry. Shut up. Go away!"

"Stupid…"

" You can have it if you can catch me~ But we both know you can't, hello Simon?"

Two weeks have passed and Izaya was not sure what to make of himself anymore. His emotions were spiraling out of control. He would be happy one minute, enjoying taunting Shizuo and just generally being close to him. The next one, he wanted nothing to do with the Neanderthal bartender and would close himself in the bathroom just wishing he could sleep until it's his time to die.

He couldn't understand himself anymore. He didn't know what he was doing, what was the whole point of this. Why didn't he refuse Shizuo's offer, why was he so desperate to spend more time on this planet, amongst the people that loathed a mere mention of his name.

Why was he so desperate to spend more time with Shizuo?

He couldn't fix the things he's done. He couldn't turn back the time, make everything okay. He was no God.

He was just making it worse.

He could see how annoyed Shizuo was at him. The blond spent more and more time smoking and smashing things out of sheer annoyance. Izaya didn't like that. He didn't want Shizuo to follow him to death because of lung cancer or getting shot by police or something like that. He wanted Shizuo to be happy, to live the life he always wished for. Calm and happy and no trace of fleas anywhere.

That's what Shizuo wanted, so why was he so hung up on the idea of saving Izaya. Sure he was a good guy and the raven knew Shizuo would do that for literally anyone. But couldn't he just let him go? What did the blond think, that Izaya would magically get better by the power of kindness and progress to become a decent human being that skipped around the streets throwing flowers on the pedestrians, giggling all the way.

The thought of it made him gag.

No. It was too late for him. Izaya knew it; his body and mind told him he was done here. He gradually grew more tired, no matter how much he would sleep, his appetite decreased and pretty much only thing he ate right now was otoro. He was no longer interested in watching humans or gathering information on them. It brought him too much pain to think that once he's gone, they'll just carry on with their lives, most of them forgetting him in a second. When all he did his entire life was try and make them like him. Try and make them notice him.

He was tired and felt blank. As if he died long ago and for some reason his body decided to live on. Izaya lived in a world of gray, losing his interests one by one to the overwhelming sadness. He would sleep the entire day of just to avoid thinking, just to avoid facing the world. Just to avoid facing Shizuo.

Shizuo.

Shizuo was one bright light in his dark world.

He restlessly tried to make Izaya see that the life is worth living and for his sake, Izaya would smile and pretend to enjoy himself. He would tease and chat with Shizuo, making sure he sounded like his old self…like his fake self.

It was worth it. Shizuo would smile, seeming excited that his 'therapy' was working. He was far more enthusiastic about this then Izaya originally thought. He hoped that his death won't stain blonde's happy little world.

For it was all a disguise. Izaya was a master of camouflage and Shizuo was to naïve to see through it.

Izaya was still empty, still sad. Every day after Shizuo would end his little therapy session and went of to work, Izaya would sigh in relief as he was allowed to turn back to his darkness. He enjoyed Shizuo's company, but the endless walking around Ikebukuro exhausted him. Heck, everything exhausted him these days. Getting out of bed exhausted him, opening his eyes exhausted him, existing exhausted him.

Pain and sadness he felt at the begging were no more. They were replaced by numbing nothingness. He felt as if he was in a come, waiting for Shizuo to pull the plug.

His emotions were drained out like watercolors. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep, not wake up. It was too tiring to wake up.

Just two more weeks.

He just has to hold on for two more weeks.

Then he can rest.