I wake up with a start… it takes some time to figure where I am… I'm at my old house… I feel like I had a dream last night... a very pleasant dream… I check the clock and see it's seven in the morning… I have a flight to catch at nine forty five… there's a photo on the bedside table… it's James and his daughters in his arms… he's laughing and so are the kids… then it hits me… it wasn't a dream… I practically run out of the bedroom and hear him whistling with the song that's playing on the radio… I stand there watching him moving in his white T-shirt which is beautifully clinging onto his chest muscles and he's in his black sweatpants that are hanging on his well shaped hips and he's bare foot on the ceramics of the kitchen… he's making breakfast… his hair is still wet from the shower he's taken… I can't believe it's all happening… I feel like I'm asleep… he notices me on his way to the fridge and beams at me…
" Hey beautiful, sleep well?"
I nod unable to speak… he walks towards me and dips his head and I know he wants to kiss me but I move my head so he kisses my cheek… I put my right hand on his chest and the left in front of my mouth…
" I haven't washed my teeth yet… I might have a bad morning breath…"
His gray eyes dance with joy and says…
" I don't care, baby!"
" I do! Give me five minutes…"
He kisses my forehead and says…
" Take all the time you need… I'm making breakfast…"
I go back to the bedroom and to the bathroom… I watch myself and regret running out before checking my hair… it's like a bird's nest… I roll my eyes and brush my teeth and take the brush from the vanity and try to do something with this nest on my head… I've cut it so I can't even braid it... so I try to pull it into a pony tail which is not so successful… some of it fall down around my face… I sigh and give up… I shouldn't be worried after all… who am I kidding?!... James has seen me in every worst shape possible before… I change into my black jeans and red button up shirt and after putting on some lip gloss and mascara, I put the clothes I've been wearing last night in my satchel and I grab my phone and I go out of the room to the kitchen… I still can't believe what happened… I put my satchel on the counter top and hug him from back and I put my chin on his shoulder… he stops moving immediately and inhales sharply… he puts his hands on mine and rest his head on my head… putting a kiss on his neck, I release him... he turns and runs his fingers through my hair and put a soft sweet kiss on my lips and pouts…
" Can't you stay? I'm afraid you go and don't come back…"
I smile at his dear face and run my index finger on his pouty lips and say…
" honey, I have to go… it will only be a day or two at most…"
He tucks the left part of my hair behind my ear and says…
" I'll come with you…"
I come out of his arms and sit on a bar stool and say…
" Don't be such a baby… now give me my breakfast and then send me away…"
He pouts again and starts putting fried eggs and bacon on my plate… and then he puts some for himself and then lays the plate of pancakes down on the bar… after pouring a glass of orange juice for me and a glass of milk for himself, he takes his seat next to me… I'm starving so I dig in… he has never cooked for me before… this is a first… and he's really good… I look at my watch it's seven thirty five… I have to hurry up if I want to make it in time for my flight… I clear my plate within minutes… I look at James and see he's picking at his food… it's the first time he seems not to have the appetite … I put my left hand on his shoulder and say…
" Hey, I'm not going to go for ever… I will hand in my resignation to the hospital as soon as I reach there… and I'm going to tell my mom and dad and Jim what I decided and after I said goodbye to them, I will get on a plane and fly right back here… in your arms… I promise!"
He turns and looks at me… he takes my hand and kisses my knuckles…
" Call me, okay?"
I stroke his cheek with my other hand and say…
" Of course… now eat your breakfast…"
He smiles and starts eating…
" I will come with you to the airport…"
I pick up my satchel and take my keys and say…
" No, James! That's not a good idea at all… your divorce news are still out there… you don't need to face " James Dornan and his rebound girl at the airport!" I rented a car and I have to give it back to the agency at the airport… I'll be fine…"
I go stand in front of him and put my hands around his waist… I look him in the eye and say…
" So here's what you will do… you will go to Amelia's and you will play with your kids and take them out shopping or to the amusement park or what ever… you will have a play date with your kids today and you will be happy… and you will take them back here and wait for me to come back home… I want to see them so much… will you do that for me?"
He watches me in wonder and says…
" Yeah baby, I will definitely do that…"
" and do not tell Amelia about us… let's wait for a while… Don't even mention my name… okay?"
He nods and says…
" Okay, ma'am…"
I kiss his cheeks and go out…
" Honey, you sure about this?"
Dad asks with worry… My mom and dad are sitting in dad's living room with me… I called them after I handed in my resignation and said I wanted to talk to them and I asked mom to come over … she's crying but she assured me hundreds of times that they're happy tears… dad is more worried though… I put my hand on his knee and squeeze gently…
" Yeah dad, I'm sure… they are offering me a great deal… I will be at the hospital three days a week and I will have two days to visit my patients privately in my own office… and I will be off on weekends… and the money is really good… not that I need that much money but I have to build up my life so I do need it… so yes, I am sure! And I know why you're over thinking this… I decided to take the job before I saw James… I talked to Jason and he assured me that hospital is the best and I can have lots of cases to study on there… I want this…"
He can't help it… he's my dad and it's his job to worry about me … I look at mom and she beams at me… I love this woman so much… I take both their hands and say…
" There is no amount of words enough to thank you both for the past year… you are the best parents ever… thank you so much for taking me in when I needed you… I will come visit more often, I promise that… and you have to come visit me, too!"
I hug them both… I used to hug them like this when I was a kid…
" I have to go say goodbye to uncle Pat and Jim, too… my flight back there isn't until seven p.m. So mom… can you please stay here and cook dinner? And ask Jack and Lucy to come over, too… I will be with Jim for the lunch…"
I wipe my mom's tears with my thumbs and kiss her beautiful puffy blue eyes and say…
" Enough with the water works, Mom!"
She kisses my cheeks and says…
" Okay, Darling! Bring Jim for the dinner, too!"
" I will…"
" So this is it? You're leaving? Just like that?"
His voice cracks at the last word… we came to the beach together… saying goodbye to Uncle Pat was quick and easy… he wished me the best of luck and told me to call whenever I needed an ear to listen to me… now I'm here and I have to deal with Jim… he's leaning on the hood of my car and staring at the angry waves … The weather is kind of cool… I look at his structural profile… his strong jaw and his steep nose… he is frowning and pouting… which makes me smile … he kind of looks like how James looked this morning… he's crossed his arms on his chest and he's never once looked in my eyes since I said I'm leaving… I go stand in front of him and take his head in my hands to make him look at me… when he finally does, I say…
" Yes, I am leaving… but it's for the better… the job they're offering me is all anyone can dream for… this is what I want …"
He gives me a sideways look and says...
" Is it about the money? I can give you all you want!"
I rise my brows and say…
" Hey, you don't get to talk to me like that, understand? I know you're super rich, well flash news… So am I! I may not look like it but I am pretty damn rich myself… I don't want your money… I want your friendship and if you can't give it to me anymore… I understand…"
He eyes me warily and says…
" No, that's not what I meant… it's so good to have you here, you know… you're the only person I can talk to without being afraid that I might say something that will destroy my reputation or whatever… being friends with you was the best thing that could happen to me after what I've been through… you took my hand in so many situations… you've always been there for me… I'll be an ass not to do the exact same thing for you… I'm happy for you and I really hope you and James work out … but I'm always here for you… if you want anything at all, any time… I'm here… you know that, don't you?"
I smile at his scarred face… scars from years and years of playing a cruel game… I touch the one on his chin and say…
" Yeah, I know… let's go… mom's making us dinner… it's the last dinner before I fly off to Seattle!"
He chuckles and tucks me under his left arm and starts spinning me… I squeal and grab onto his waist to steady myself… this is a very fine man… I hope he finds the one in his life…
Lucy picks up her glass and says…
" I want to propose a toast…"
Every one pick up their glasses and smile at me… she throws her right arm around me and says...
" To our brilliant young pretty and successful psychiatrist who's going to be the head of psychiatry in Seattle Press Hospital… cheers!"
" Cheers!"
She kisses my cheek and says…
" I'm so happy for you, honey! Call me if you need anything or any kind of advice on lingerie or something, okay?"
I flush at her audacity and look around… fortunately they aren't paying attention…
" Thanks, Lucy! I'll handle it…"
She rolls her eyes and says…
" Anna, there are things that you can't discuss with your mom… because it's weird and she's your mom… and of course you can't ask your dad… because you're his little girl… so you would need me… you've got my number so call me any time… okay?"
I look into her kind beautiful hazel eyes and say…
" Okay… thank you so much… it means a lot to me…"
Mom has made lasagna and some chicken salad and my favorite broth... Jack is here too… he's telling us stories about his trip to Reumont with mom a couple of months ago… the way he looks at my mom when she talks and the way he talks about her… it makes me fly… they are totally in love with each other… the same is true about my dad and Lucy… I never would have guessed a girl who's only eight years older than me would be my dad's girlfriend… but life is always unexpected… I'm so happy to see them happy… I would be more happy if they were happy together… but life doesn't always go the way we want it to… so it's best out of the worst situation…
Lucy and mom help me pack my stuff and my clothes… they give me advice on how to set my satin dark blue dress with shiny black pumps and how to use wisely of my lace underwears… God, they are going to make me kill myself… it's so embarrassing to get sexual lectures from your mom and your dad's girlfriend who by the way declares that they're having the best sex in their lives… I put my fingers in my ears and start to sing out loud… I don't want to hear about their sex life… I know they mean good but they're just embarrassing me…
" Dad, Will you sell Michelle for me?"
It takes him a moment to understand I'm referring to my car… he pulls me into a big bear hug and says…
" Of course, sweetheart! I will put the money in your bank account… and Anna this house is yours, too… so feel free to hop on a plane and fly back here any time you wanted…"
I kiss his shoulder and say…
" I know Dad, Thank you… for everything!"
I hug Jack and mom and Lucy goodbye, too! Jim said he would take me to the airport… so the goodbye with him will not be until later…
He's upgraded my ticket to first class again… they call my flight at six thirty-five and I have to go for check in… I turn around at Jim and say…
" Thanks for everything… I will text you when I land…"
He takes me into his arms and keeps me for several seconds… then he kisses beneath my ear and releases me…
" Thank you… for helping me through my crappy time… I'm always here for you… if you need help at any time, take out your phone and call me… I'll be on the first plane to Seattle and I'll come get you…"
I smile at his kind green eyes and say…
" Of course!"
They call my flight for the fourth time and I really have to go… I stand up on my toes and kiss his cheek and go…
It's almost nine o'clock when the taxi stops at my old house… the driver gets off the car to help me with my suitcase… I pay him and stand at the front yard… I take in a deep breath and walk towards the door… I knock on the door… three sharp knocks… I could ring the bell but I don't know why I didn't … after five seconds the door opens and I see him in the door frame… he's in a pair of pale blue jeans and a white button down shirt… he beams at me and says…
" Hey, welcome home!"
I smile at him… home… it's a warm word... he opens his arms, waiting for me to go to him… I take three steps and I'm there… the place I always wanted to be… he wraps his arms around me and inhales in my hair… I smell his heavenly scent… it's kind of sweet and cool… it's not his perfume or aftershave… it's him… my personal favorite smell in the whole world…
I'm in one of my cocktail dresses… it's long sleeved and dark green and the collar of the dress is black lace… it's kind of cold for this weather… James strokes my back and releases me… his sparkling gray eyes are dancing… he takes my suitcase and satchel from me and closes the door… I look around and see Dulcie and Phoebe are on the floor playing with the alphabet cubes… God! I've missed these little angels so much… Dulcie looks up and squeals…
" Annie!"
And she runs towards me… I sit down and open my arms for her… she runs to my arms and throws her little chubby arms around my neck… I kiss her angelic face over and over and she giggles the whole time… she has grown so much…
" Hey Angel, look at you! You've grown so much! The last time I saw you, you were your sister's size…"
She beams at me showing her perfect little round teeth and says…
" Yes I am big now… Daddy tell me he has a surprise… you are surprise?"
I kiss her hard on her cheeks and say…
" Yes sweetheart, I am the surprise Daddy told you about…"
She claps her little hands and says…
" Yay, I love Annie!"
My heart sinks…
" I love you, too, Darling girl!"
I look at Phoebe and see she's watching us in wonder… she obviously doesn't remember me, because she was one when I last saw her… she looks exactly like her older sister… I wave my hand for her and she smiles… oh my God! She's shy… not so much talking like Dulcie… she stands up and goes to James who's now back from the bedroom… he takes her in his arms and says…
" Hey honey, that's Annie! You don't remember her because you were so much little when you saw her… but she's Daddy's friend and she loves you a lot… she used to play with you…"
Phoebe looks at me again… I take Dulcie in my arms and stand up… I walk to James and stand in front of him… Dulcie starts to wriggle and I know she wants to be in Daddy's arms, too… James laughs and takes her… I take out my phone and take a picture of them… this is what I love… this is what I want…
" So how was your flight?"
After playing two hours with the kids and putting them to bed, we're finally talking to each other… James sips his beer and I drink my green apple flavored tea… we're sitting on the couch cross-legged next to each other staring at the rain from the glass wall in the living room…
I turn to my left so that I'm facing him… I smile at him and say…
" It was nice actually! Jim got me a first class ticket so I had no problem with my seat or anything…"
His eyebrows shoot up and then furrow…
" Well, that's so nice of him! Remember me to thank him for taking care of my girlfriend!"
I rise my brows… he sounds disapproving… I frown and say…
" Hey, he's my friend! I helped him through hell… and he did the same for me! He just wanted to be nice… he wants the best for me!"
He puts his beer down on the table and takes my empty cup and put it next to the bottle… then yanks at my hand so I'm in his arms… my heart starts beating with a frantic tune… I try to sit back but he won't let me…
" Stay here! I wanted to hold you like this all day… and thinking I can do this when you're back made me function all day… so stay where you are…"
I don't know how to feel or react… I just feel joy and rush and love… I put my head on his chest and listen to the song his heart's singing… the movement of his chest when he's breathing is soothing… I feel like I'm going to drift…
"You must be really tired… so I'm not going to bombard you with questions… Come on! Let's get you into bed!"
My whole body stiffens… and he starts laughing…
" For sleep! I'm going to put you to bed and come crash on the couch here!"
He stands up and takes me with him… my head is hurting like hell… I've been on and off the plane three times since yesterday… and I don't react well to the change in the pressure... he pulls off the duvet before I fall down onto the bed… he walks to the closet to get some covers and a pillow… I move to the side of the bed I usually sleep and say…
" Hey, can you…"
He stops and turns around… he watches me patiently… waiting for me to complete my sentence… I feel so shy suddenly… I start twisting my fingers and picking on imaginary spots on my blanket …
" Can you stay here? In the bed… with me? Just hold me?"
I can't see him but I hear his sharp inhale… he takes five steps and stops at the bed… I dare myself to look up at him… he's watching me with a huge amount of affection and love and wonder… like the way I look at Dulcie and Phoebe… I pout and turn my back to him and push my face into the pillow… I feel so shy… I never had a real boyfriend… I've never even get in bed or fall asleep beside anyone other than my mom or dad… I hear some sounds and the mattress goes down and he hugs me from back… he puts his chin on my left shoulder and kisses my throat… I roll on my side and face him… he's taken his shirt off and I love his bare chest... he moves my hair out of my face and smiles kindly at me…
" So you like cuddling! Baby, feel free to tell me what you want… I know this is all new to you… and I'm sure as hell you're not ready for anything further now… we're not in a rush… we will take our time and go step by step… you fine with that?"
I smile at him and say…
" I feel like I'm fourteen! How do people do this? How can they just trust someone and do this? I feel like … I feel so insecure and I am sort of afraid… I'm twenty nine for God's sake… but I feel like I'm a high school girl…"
I sigh heavily and roll on my back and face the ceiling…
" All my life I was fine going on without boys… I never could have trust anyone to begin a relationship or to fall for them… I know it's not like this for most of the people… for most of them it's just the sex that matters… just physical not any emotions… but I could never do that… I freaked out even thinking about sleeping with someone who I don't know… I heard my friends, girls and boys talking about the one night stands they had… I could never figure out how they did that… how people trust someone to invite them into their most private places… without even knowing them?!"
I know I'm just tired and nervous and I'm basically rambling… but he's a gentleman and he just listens patiently and strokes my hair… which is really soothing actually and I can feel that the words are beginning to fail me… I reach to a point that I can't get a feeling of what I'm saying…
" Baby, I know what you mean… we will talk about this tomorrow… fall sleep sweet Anna! I love you…"
I roll and lay my forehead on his chest and close my eyes… he throws his arms around me and says…
" Sleep tight, baby!"
I kiss his chest, right on his heart and say in Korean…
" I love you, too!"
And I fall into a sweet sleep where I'm in a meadow with James by my side…
" Hey, wake up… easy, easy… wake up… it's okay… it's fine… I'm here… I'm here… I'm here!"
James shakes me and I open my eyes terrified… I'm gasping unable to breath… he runs out of the bedroom and comes back within the seconds with a pitcher of water and a glass… he pours a glass of water and puts the pitcher down on the bedside table… he switches on the lamp and hands me the glass of water… my hands are trembling and the water spills onto the blanket… I look at it in horror… he takes the glass and strokes my hair…
" It's okay… it doesn't matter… come on, let me help you drink this…"
He puts his right hand behind my head and puts the glass on my lips and tips my head a little… I drink the water and begin to feel a little comfortable… he takes the glass and put it next to the pitcher… he continues moving his fingers through my hair… like combing through my hair and it's really soothing… my breathing is still ragged… he sits by myside all sleepy hair and wide eyes… I bring up my right hand and touch his face… he looks real… he feels real… he leans his face to my touch and takes my hand and kisses my palm… his eyes search my face and says…
" You okay? Need anything?"
I shake my head and stare at him… he takes my head in his hands and runs his thumbs through my cheeks… I haven't realized I was crying… he dips his head and kisses my tears then my eyes and my face … he kisses me chastely on my lips and says…
" Anna, it's fine… it was just a bad dream… you're okay… I got you… I'm here…"
My lips tremble and I throw my arms around his neck and cling onto him… he's taken aback by my attack but he hugs me hard… crashing me into his body… after I don't know how many minutes of weeping into his neck, I'm all cried out… he moves slowly so that he's leaning on the headboard of the bed and I'm still clinging onto him… he croons me, moving his hand up and down my back… he doesn't say anything… after some minutes I move away from him and watch his beautiful horrified and worried gray eyes… I touch his face again… to feel that he really is real… I don't want to talk… I'm exhausted and I need to sleep… I put my hands on his shoulders and he lies on his back on the bed... after switching off the lamp, I put my head on his chest and take his arms and wrap them around me… he hugs me hard and continues his soothing movements of his fingers on my back… as much as I'm panicking that I might have a nightmare again, I am dog-tired so I close my eyes and go to sleep…
I feel so warm… I hate it when I'm warm… I try to move and find a cool spot but I can't move… I'm stuck… my eyes spring open and I realize why I can't move… I'm in James arms… his head is on my chest and he's pinning me down with his torso… his arms are wrapped around my belly and his legs are tangled with mine… I can't move my left arm but my right arm is free… I bring up my hand to run my fingers through James's soft golden hair… he moves his head slightly and mumbles something… but doesn't wake up… I don't know how many times I fantasized waking up with James by my side… but they don't matter now… I'm having him in my bed now and it's far so much better than what I thought it would be… I take a deep breath and seize the moment… his body stirs and he looks at me sleepily and lost… I smile at his confused face run my fingers through his tousled hair…
" Good morning, Mr. Dornan! Slept well?"
He gives me a breathtaking smile and says…
" Good morning yourself, Dr. Pritchett! I haven't slept like this in years…"
I give him an ear to ear grin and say…
" Good, because the kids will be up soon! And I'll appreciate it if you let me go! I need to shower…"
He moves so that he's hovering on top of me… he's put his weight on his elbows on either side of my head… I stare at him wide eyed and say…
" Whoa! What are you doing?"
He gives me a lopsided grin and says…
" It's only seven A.M. I know my kids they sleep at least until eight which gives us one long sweet hour… we should use it wisely!"
I swallow hard and suddenly my whole body tightens… I bite my lip and close my eyes trying to get my breathing under control… I don't know why but by some reason I'm scared… I wanted this since ten years ago… but I don't know what I'm afraid of… suddenly he starts laughing… my eyes spring open and I'm speechless… is he a maniac or something? I should run some tests on him… I can have a field day with that... he moves again and takes me in his arms and crashes me into his chest…
" God, your innocence is so sobering…"
He takes my chin with his thumb and forefinger and tips my head...
" Baby, I was messing with you… of course I'm not going to do it like this… I will to take you on a date… tomorrow night… we will celebrate your new job and us… and we will come back to the house … and we will have some fun… I told you last night, step by step… we're going to take one step at a time… there's no rush… I'm not going anywhere and you're here so we're going to take our time…"
I let my breath out and visibly relax… I haven't noticed I was holding my breath… I smile at his glowing face and after putting a kiss on his well-shaped chin and get out of the bed and go take a shower…
It was a really nice ten minute shower… I washed all the plane scent that has been on me… I put on my bathrobe and come out… James is not in the bedroom but I hear the music so I know he's probably making breakfast… I put on one of the many sets of sexy underwears my mom has purchased for me… it's black lace… I can't even look at my self in the mirror… I yank on a pair of black sports sweatpants and a loose white v neck T-shirt… after brushing my hair I try to subdue it with a clip… but it's no use… I sigh and let it fall around my face… at least I try to make it into a performable shape… I go out and see the cutest scene in my life… James has both of his daughters in his arms and he's dancing around with the music in the kitchen … I love to see him with them and see how much he loves and cares about his kids… my heart constricts that he can't have them always here… I still can't believe he's divorced… Dulcie catches my eye and squeals…
" Goo monin, Annie! You are pretty…"
I laugh at her comment and realize whatever has changed, this hasn't… I take three long strides towards them and take her from her Daddy… she willingly comes to my welcoming arms and taking my head in her little chubby hands, she kisses my cheek with her sweet wet little lips… oh God! This feels divine… the way I feel about these girls… it's like their my own children … I never felt like this about Jason's daughter or my other friends' kids… it's only these two that are playing with my heart like this… James is looking at us with love flooding in his eyes… he has taken a shower and he smells mighty fine… I smile at him and say…
" You really are going to spoil me by making breakfast every day…"
He dips his head put a soft kiss on the tip of my nose and says…
" I love spoiling you… that's my job actually…"
I put Dulcie on the counter top and go to get a bowel of cereal for her…
" Hey, Dulcie… do you still want warm milk in your cereal?"
" Yes, Annie! I love you a lot…"
My heart skips a beat and starts pounding like crazy… I put the bowl and cereal on the cabinet and go to her and crash her into my chest… I close my eyes and savor her sweet and innocent scent… I heard " I love you" from lots of people… but hearing it from this little girl was the best one I've ever heard from anyone…
" I love you, too, beautiful darling girl!"
She wriggles in my arms and I realize I've been pressing her so hard… I let release her and kiss her angelic face… James puts Phoebe on the counter, too… across from Dulcie… they start playing with each other instantly… I put a bowl of cereal for each of them… it was only last year that I had to trick Phoebe into taking the bottle of powder milk… time flies by so soon… after toasting the breads and putting out the plates I sit on the bar stool and wait for James to serve the Chef's Specials… he's so radiant… I don't know what it is that made him this happy, but I hope he remains like this… he puts fried eggs and bacons and pancakes in my plate and his… and some boiled eggs for the kids… I feel so hungry so I dig in…
" You know, I loved boiled eggs when I was a kid… my dad used to keep at least ten boiled eggs in the fridge for me… it was like a candy bar for me… in fact I didn't like candy when I was little… it was like I was crying crazy one minute and he gave me a boiled egg and I stopped…"
I say eating my perfect breakfast made by my perfect boyfriend… wait! Is he my boyfriend? Hmmm… we're practically living together… and last night he called me his girlfriend… so he is! He cracks one of the eggs and give it to me… I take it from him and beam at him… he laughs out loud and says…
" you still got it!"
" Daddy, me!"
Both girls say at the same time… apparently they have finished eating their cereals… they're so much like their daddy… they don't talk while they're eating… I give mine to Phoebe and James cracks another one for Dulcie… they start nibbling and beam at each other…
" looking at these little angels makes me want to die… the amount of love I feel for them is so much… I've never felt like this before…"
Blinking my tears away, I take my orange juice and start drinking… he throws his right arm around me and says…
" Baby, I feel the same way… that's because they're my kids and I'm their dad… you feel like this because you love them… like your own kids…"
I lay my head on his shoulder and say…
" Yes, I do feel like they're my own kids..."
He kisses at the top of my head and says…
" I'm glad you do…"
James is out… after playing with Denise for about four hours and eating the lunch I made after a year in this house and bathing the kids after lunch together and having lots of fun, he took the kids back to their mother's at four in the afternoon… I hope they don't mention me to their mother… she's going to go postal again if she realizes I'm back… I like her and I don't want her to get hurt…
Walking around the house I realize how much I missed my own house… the lid on the piano is up… I sit on the bench and check the keys… they're perfectly tuned... so James has been playing it… I close my eyes and think about the last time I played on this piano… the one in my dad's place is for when I was a kid… I started playing piano since I was five… we had this old rusty piano in the basement and I used to go play with its keys when I was little… I liked the sound it made when I pressed my fingers on the white keys… one day my dad heard me and came and ask me if I wanted to learn how to really play this thing… I was so happy when he said that… he took me a piano teacher… Mrs. Smith was a cute pretty middle-aged woman who came to our house two times a week to teach me how to play this shiny pretty white piano my dad got me for my fifth birthday… I smile at the memory of her… my size was bigger than the other kids of my age and my mother taught me how to read and write by the time I was four and I was so tall for my age… so she thought I was eight or nine… well this happens when your father is six feet two… and apparently Bella, my birth mother was a model and she was tall too!
I hear the car engines outside the house and go check out the window… James is back and he's feeling kind of blue… I know that not being with her kids is a big deal for him… and I hate to think this has something to do with me… I open the door before he knocks and smile at his sad face… he lightens up and comes in wrapping his arms around my waist… he starts kissing me… it starts so smooth and easy at first but his lips grow more fierce as the seconds tick by… he closes the door behind him with his left leg and lifts me in his arms without breaking our connection… I don't know what happened to him out there or what became of him but I like being kissed like this… he moves to the couch and lays me down on it… moving his lips to my throat, he starts to kiss his way down to my clavicle… his lips make my body tingle and my whole body tightens at his touch… he moves up again and starts putting feather like kisses on my face… my chin... jaw… cheeks… nose… eyes… forehead … and he starts kissing my lips again…
" You. Look. So. Beautiful…"
He says between kisses… then he lays on top of me and looks down at my eyes… I watch him wide eyed and surprised…
" What happened?"
He moves his fingers down my face to my throat and then to my shoulder and touches one of the straps of my top… Lucy has bought this for me a couple of months ago and she said it will make me look irresistible… well I have to call and thank her for that…
" This top looks so good on you… and I like your jeans, too!"
Then he moves taking me with him that he's lying beneath me and I'm lying on his chest… I move my fingers on his chest… he has a really nice body… we lay still for a few minutes to catch our breaths… I listen to his heart beating crazy… I write my name on his chest right on his heart… he takes my hand and kisses my fingers…
" You are in my heart, Anna! You won't need to write it down on my heart …"
I put my chin on his chest and look up at him… he smiles kindly at me and says…
" when did you get this top?"
" Lucy, my dad's girlfriend has picked it out for me… she said it suits me…"
" Well, I should call and thank her for that I think…"
He moves his index finger down the straps and he stops at the top of my breasts… I stop breathing… he brings his hand up and cups my chin… he runs his thumb on my parted lips and says…
" As much as I want to fill you up right now I know you're not ready for that yet so we're going to stop now…"
I sit up and stare at him wide eyed and open mouth… he has no shame!
" James Dornan! You literally have no shame at all!"
He chuckles and says…
" Shame of what? You're my girlfriend… It gives me the ability to tell you these kind of things… and you can't be like that when you look like this! You look so distracting right now…"
He sits up and says…
" I'm famished… let's eat dinner… what are we having, by the way?"
I shrug and say…
" I haven't cooked anything… unless you want to eat the leftovers from lunch…"
He shakes his head and says…
" We're ordering pizza, then!"