June 25, 2015: War and Peace

Carl sat on the bed in the back of the RV. He sat next to Holly with Eva asleep on his lap. He watched quietly as Bob finished cleaning Michonne's leg.

Rick sat on the sofa bed still holding his arms around Michonne protectively. "She'll be alright, Rick. It's more than a graze but surprisingly the bullet didn't do too much damage to the tissue," Bob said reassuringly to his friend as he continued to wrap Michonne's leg in clean bandages.

Michonne finally relaxed into Rick's embrace."Thanks Bob,"

"Yes, thank you," Rick echoed with sincerity.

Bob moved over to the sink and began to wash the blood off his hands."Just tryin' to earn my keep."

Rick looked at Bob with gratitude and admiration. If it weren't for this man standing in front of him, there was a fair chance that Michonne, Eva and Rick, himself wouldn't be above ground. He was certainly an invaluable asset to the group, not only as a doctor, but as a leader and friend.

"You've earned your keep and then some," Rick said.

"I just patched her up. Nothing any of you couldn't have done," Bob replied casually.

"Your usefullness is only surpassed by your humility," Rick said with a crooked smile.

"If you say so," Bob chuckled. "I won't argue with you this time." Bob steered his attention from Rick and Michonne to something else preoccupying his mind. He stared out a window, visibly distressed.

"Bob, what's wrong?" Michonne questioned him with concern.

Bob emitted a heavy sigh before bringing his eyes back to Rick and Michonne. "There's something I've been keeping from you – from everybody, really."

"What is it?" Rick asked.

"I know we're going into battle. I know which way the wind is blowing and what needs to be done. The more I think about it, the more I think that this island is a goldmine. Its value is immeasurable and we need to be there. We need to have a safe home and do whatever it takes to get that."

"Bob, what are you keeping from us?" Michonne asked again, her concern growing.

"Sasha's pregnant," he finally said. "She's far along too."

Rick looked his friend in the eye. "How far along?"

"We're not sure. If I had to make an educated guess, I would say close to five or six months."

"Five or six months!" Michonne exclaimed.

Bob laughed uneasily. "I know, I know. She's a tiny little thing wearing baggy clothes and hiding it well. She didn't want me to tell anyone because she knew y'all would worry. She knew you'd want her to stop going out on runs and missions and she said she couldn't let the group down. She told me not to tell anyone but I told her yesterday we couldn't keep this to ourselves any longer. I begged her not to go on the mission with Abraham and Rosita but she's as hard-headed as you are," he said looking at Michonne.

"Sasha's tough," Rick replied, "not the type to let anything slow her down."

"You're right about that," Bob said then sighed again. "Look, I know she wants to go with you all when you make your attack on the island. She said as much. I tried to talk her out of it but she's a good shot and knows that you need her. She won't listen to me and she's got her mind made up."

"You want us to try and talk her out of it...get her to stay here?" Michonne asked.

Bob let out another uneasy laugh, "I would if I thought it would work but nah, ain't no one gonna be able to talk her out of going. She could be nine months pregnant and she'd still be gearing up. That's just who she is. And even though it scares the hell outta me, I'd never ask her to change. I may know how to patch people up and deliver babies but that girl...that girl is something else. She's braver than anyone I know. Did you know that she was only one of eight female fire-fighters in the whole state of Georgia? She doesn't have any fear, just determination."

"That's how we're going to win," Carl said assuredly as he walked from the back of the RV with Eva still asleep in his arms.

"How's that?" Rick asked.

"By not letting anything hold us back. By going into this with not even a single ounce of fear or reservation about what we need to do. By showing mercy to those who pose no threat and absolutely no mercy to those who deserve to die."

Rick narrowed his eyes and looked at Carl thoughtfully. He couldn't tell where his son's mind was. A few days ago he was saying he wouldn't sacrifice himself for anyone but immediate family and the next day he was risking his life for strangers. Less than ten minutes ago, he was savagely torturring a man and now, he had his baby sister securely cradled in his arms.

"You're right Carl," Bob said. "You said these people are trying to make the world, the way it used to be, treating humans like property. You said they think this is how things should be. Well they couldn't be more wrong. And we have to be the ones to set things right...to make it how it really should be – whatever it takes. If Sasha wants to be a part of that, I ain't gonna try to hold her back. I couldn't even if I wanted to. And I don't want any of you to try and hold her back either. The only thing I was gonna ask, was that y'all look out for her as best you can. Please, I'm beggin' you, keep her as safe as you can and just...just bring her and the baby back to me."

"We will Bob," Carl said soberly. "I give you my word."

…..

Glenn, Maggie, Sasha, Carol, Eugene, Liv, Lee, Clem and Desi rummaged through the packs and supplies of the seven men they had just taken down. They gathered three automatic assault rifles, two shotguns, a sniper rifle and five handguns. The men also had a fair amount of ammunition with them.

"This is gonna be a big help," Glenn said. "We went from having almost no ammo to a few hundred rounds."

Sasha pulled a flare gun out of one of the packs. She pulled out several flares too. Her eyes widened as the wheels in her head began to spin. "Hey you guys. Come over here."

All the others walked to Sasha's side. "What do you got?" Maggie asked.

"Flares. A lot of them," she replied.

"And?" Glenn asked.

"Tonight, we wait til just after dark. Then we shoot off a couple of these."

"And get more of the islanders to come to us," Glenn said astutely. "Another ambush."

"Exactly," Sasha replied. "There's no reason to think that if they came with flares that their people back on the island won't respond to them if they see them."

Liv spoke up with trepidition. "Don't you think that there's a good chance that if we use the flares, we could draw walkers on us too."

"Walkers aren't as intelligent as humans," Maggie said. "If they see the flares, I don't think they could pinpoint where exactly they're coming from."

"If using the flares gets more of their men off that island and on our turf, it's a win," Glenn said. "If walkers come, we'll deal with them – just like we always have."

"We should do it," Carol said. "We should gear up, be ready, and as soon as it gets dark, shoot them off and wait."

…..

Rick looked at his watch. It was 8:30 and dark enough to shoot off the first flare. He gave the signal to Sasha and she fired the gun. A long hiss sounded from the gun. The group watched as the flare let out a hard pop and lit up the sky. Fifteen minutes later, the sky was darker and another flare was shot into the sky. Fiteen minutes after that, a third shot was fired.

"Now we wait," Rick said confidently to the group.

Rick walked up to Michonne who was leaning comfortably against the RV. He stood close to her and leaned his back against it too.

"How's your leg feel?" Rick asked reaching out to take her hand.

"It hurts but it's fine," she replied stoically. Rick tilted his head and widened his eyes, questioning her with his expression. "What Rick? I said it's fine. I'm fine."

"I don't know why I'm even bothering to ask. You would say you're fine no matter what."

Michonne nodded and smirked, "Yeah, that's true. But this time I really mean it. I promise, I'm fine. And if you think for one second I'm not going with you to the island tomorrow, you got another thing comin'."

"Sasha's five or six months pregnant and you just got shot. And both of you are refusing to stay still. Are you two trying to one-up each other?"

"As if you wouldn't do the same thing," she said smacking his arm. "Now quit worrying and give me some jerky."

"If I had a nickel for every time you told me to stop worrying..." but then he stopped and chuckled at the foolish thought, "I guess I'd have a lot of useless nickels I couldn't spend on anything."

Michonne chuckled too as he handed her the bag of smoked and dried deer jerky.

Rick took his Colt Python out of his holster and glanced over it. Michonne looked at him with a satisfied grin. "How does it feel to have your gun in your hand again? It's been a long time."

"I won't lie," he replied, "it feels a little strange. Can't believe after more than two years we have bullets again." Rick looked down at his left arm. He studied it thoughtfully, looking at where his left hand used to be. "Who would have thought that I would ever get used to this? It's so much what I'm accustomed to now that I almost can't imagine having my hand back. It feels more normal than the gun. Crazy right?"

"I don't know. Things keep changing. As soon as we get used to one kind of crazy, a different kind comes along and stirs everything up again. The way things change and the way we have to adapt so quickly to the changes...I think that scares me more than most everything else."

"Carl's changing," he stated, not mincing words. "I'm worried about him...scared for who he's becoming."

"Why? Because of what he did to that man?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. He's all over the place, trying so hard to prove himself. He's got a lot goin' on in his head. I can tell. He's got a lot of of anger in him too. Did you see what he did?"

"I saw it."

"We have to kill people and sometimes it's brutal. I get that and for the most part, I've made my peace with that. I wouldn't have hesitated to end that racist piece of shit's life. I heard what he called you. It made me sick too. But there was no reason for Carl to do what he did."

"He was defending me," Michonne said, trying her best to defend Carl.

"I know he was. But he crossed a line," Rick replied. "I'm not saying that because I care one iota for that man. I'm saying it because I care about Carl. You can't do something like that and not have it damage you. You can't unring that bell and that...what he did, it's gonna stay with him. It's gonna blur the lines for him. I'm speaking from experience. It's gonna make it easier to do something like that again."

"Or maybe crossing that line will make him realize that's not who he is. Maybe it will make the line that much clearer for him. Rick, don't make too much of this," Michonne said looking him directly in the eyes. "Carl's going through things. He's trying to figure out who he is and what his place is in this insane world. There's no prescident for this. We're learning as we go and all of us have made mistakes. Hopefully he'll learn from his mistakes. Hopefully we're all learning from our mistakes."

"But I don't know if I can let this slide. I don't know if I can just not say anything."

"Did you see his face?" Michonne asked. Rick nodded. "He feels what he did. He knows that he lost it. He looked at you like he was ashamed of himself...like he let you down."

Rick shuffled and stared down at his boots. "I've never seen that look from him before. He's usually trying to put me in my place but I guess on some level, maybe he's still looking for my approval."

"Of course he is," Michonne exclaimed as she grabbed his hand. "Just extend him some grace – just this one time at least. This is scary and emotional shit we're dealing with...every day. He's just went through something on that island. He saved those girls. For the first time in his life, he's being a real leader in what we're up against. Not only that, I know he has Holly and the baby on his mind, all the time. Please, Rick, just cut him some slack – just this once."

"Alright. Alright. I'll do that," he yielded respectfully. "I don't know if it's the right call but I trust you enough to let you make it."

Michonne turned and leaned against him. "Trust me the way I trust you."

Rick nodded as he stared down into her eyes, captivated. Michonne extended her neck and torso upwards and reached her hand around his head to pull his mouth towards her mouth. Rick reciprocated, pulling her body relentlessly into his, and holding her as he kissed her fervidly. They kissed longer than they normally would have under the precarious circumstances, allowing the brief moment of passion and intensity to overtake them. Michonne lowered her body but Rick, still wanting more, leaned down and let his lips linger softly on hers as he gazed into her eyes and spoke again.

"What would we do without you, Michonne? Where would I be? What kind of man would Carl be? What kind of man would I be? The girls have this incredible momma that shows them love and strength every single day. I don't know what life would look like if you weren't standing with us...with me. I never want to know." Rick shook his head but held her gaze. "I can't begin to tell you how relieved I am that I'm not doing this alone."

Michonne put her hand on Rick's face and looked up at him adoringly. "That's all true for me too. I never want to wake up and not have you next to me. I see the way you lead your family and everyone else, making the hard decisions and selflessly doing whatever it takes to protect us. But when I think of you and think of what lies ahead for us, for the kids, I'm filled with this unreal sense of joy and peace, like we're living together in some silly dream. Reality shakes me out of that dream all the time, but then I hear your voice or I put my lips on yours or I lie down in your arms and feel your heartbeat next to mine and I come right back...right back to the dream. And I love the dream because it's real. And it's real because of you."

They stood there waiting for the immanent battle for close to another hour. They continued to talk quietly and contentedly, Michonne resting her head on Rick's shoulder while he held her close around the waist. The moonlight peacefully shone down on the two of them as they held on to each other. They could have lingered there in the warmth and tranquility even longer but Sasha's voice came crackling through the walkie talkie. They immediately went into position, drawing their weapons and readying themselves for combat.

"Heads up - theres's at least a dozen people heading this way right now. Desi made a clear ID and says it's them."

Rick looked at Michonne with somber gravity. Seconds ago they were embracing and expressing their innermost feelings of love and their desperate need for each other. In a few more seconds they would be executing a group of strangers.

Carl approached his parents from a few yards away. "Dad, what are you waiting for?" he asked urgently. Rick hesitated as he fixed his eyes on Michonne. "Dad, say it!" Carl shouted to get his father's attention.

Rick finally pressed the button on the side of the walkie and lifted it to his mouth. He swallowed dryly as he looked from Michonne to Carl. "Teams one, two, three and four: as soon as you have visual contact, open fire."