Finally have this chapter ready. Thanks for being patient with me. I wanted to get this posted so I didn't send to the Beta Reader. Any and all mistakes are mine. Have a wonderful day all. ****HUGS FROM ME TO YOU****

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Every girl's crazy for a sharp dressed man.

The music jolted Tony awake and he jumped into a sitting position in a disoriented haze. Glancing around the room the images from earlier flooded back and he ran his hands down his face. Another chorus of Sharped Dressed Man blared through the room as he grabbed the phone and accepted the call.

"Hey." Tony said trying to sound completely awake and alert.

"Did I interrupt?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "No."

"Lunch?"

Glancing at his watch, Tony's eyes widened, already after noon. "Um, yeah."

"Something wrong Junior?" There was actually concern in Tony's father's voice.

"No, just give me an hour." Wrapping the blanket around his waist, Tony walked towards the kitchen.

"Carmine's?"

"Sounds good."

"Are you sure everything's alright?"

"It's fine! See you in an hour." Tony ended the call and went to step through the open basement door and ran into the man before him. He was about to stumble backwards when a strong arm captured him around the waist and held him upright. Blue eyes locked on green as the arm tightened around him pulling their bodies together. "I was um, about to come down to get you."

"I see that." Gibbs' steely gaze skimmed down Tony's body then back up. "Barefoot in the basement, not a good idea."

"Probably not."

"Nice blanket." Gibbs smirked. "Very sexy."

"Well the blanket look is in this year." Tony grinned surprised by Gibbs' jovial mood. He expected the man to be somber, distant, and wanting answers about earlier and to the question that was still unanswered. Happy smiling Gibbs was definitely not what he expected. "That was Senior on the phone."

"Figured. Lunch?"

"Yeah. Thought you might wanna come along."

"Um, no."

"Right." Tony snickered. It was worth a try.

"There's clean towels in the bathroom."

"Okay." Tony's fingers picked at a shaving of wood on Gibbs' shirt as he absent mindedly asked. "Wanna come wash my back?" He smiled up at Gibbs. "Or maybe something else." He jumped when the arm around him jerked him forward. Gibbs' blue eyes stared at him already filled with that familiar hunger that took his breath away.

"Oh I'd need a lot more than an hour to wash you thoroughly." Gibbs licked his lips as he leered down Tony's body again. "And I would definitely wanna get you good and dirty first."

The combination of Gibbs words and look sent a shiver down Tony's spine. "I can be late." Gibbs' lips captured his in an all too brief, but desire filled kiss.

"No, you can't. You two need to talk."

"Yeah." Tony sighed.

"It's different this time."

"I know, he's making an effort."

Gibbs nodded. "So go." He spun Tony around and smacked his ass pushing him towards the living room.

"Tease!" Tony smirked.

Gibbs' eyebrow went up.

"There are a lot of things I like that you still don't know about." Tony started walking backwards into the living room. "A LOT!" He dropped the blanket and grinned when Gibbs' eyes leered hungrily down his naked body. Then he turned around and disappeared up the stairs.

Gibbs ran his hand across his mouth as the man he loved disappeared. He let out a long sad breath. He wanted to discover every little thing that Tony liked, from the slightest touch to the darkest fetish, he just prayed he would get the chance. There was still something holding Tony back, Gibbs sensed it the moment he asked Tony to move in and it had only become more obvious as the question lingered unanswered between them. Part of him wished he hadn't asked, but the larger part of him knew he had to know. Holding back with Tony wasn't an option. Finally having Tony, being allowed to show the love he had denied for so long made it impossible, even knowing the trepidation Tony still felt. He knew where the trepidation came from, knew how Tony's past effected his relationships and how he dealt with emotions.

Still Gibbs thought with everything he'd told Tony, all the honest emotion he'd expressed, that Tony would understand that this relationship met everything to him and that he'd do anything for the younger man. Maybe that was the problem, the intensity of the relationship. He was an intense man in his everyday life, but when he was in love it was all consuming. That could be overwhelming for anyone. Tony had spent most of his life hiding from any real love and commitment, yet here he was pushing the Italian to move in with him.

Gibbs sighed as he leaned back against the wall by the basement door. Why couldn't he just enjoy what they had? Why did he have to press for more? Because you've lost too many people you've loved and you know time is short. He didn't care if Tony didn't want to move in, but he had to know that Tony wouldn't hold back with him and right now Tony still had a part of himself walled off. Pushing himself off the wall, he walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. Taking a long swig he swallowed and felt the hot liquid hit is stomach like a brick. It was never good when even coffee didn't calm him.

He didn't know how long he had been standing there, he was so lost in the thoughts of what was holding Tony back that he was surprised when he heard his name.

"Gibbs?"

Gibbs looked up at a smiling Tony.

"I'm heading out."

Gibbs nodded.

"I should only be a couple hours."

"Take your time."

"A few hours of my father is about all I can take." Tony chuckled.

"Yeah." Gibbs smirked.

Tony was about to bridge the distance between them when he suddenly paused sensing the chasm that again separated them. The sad part was, he knew this time it was his fault it was there. Gibbs had offered him everything…love, commitment, devotion, a life of blissful contentment with someone that wanted him with all their heart and soul. And what had he done? Skirted the question in every way possible, made a joke of it and put up all the walls he always threw up whenever anyone got to close. Stupid! He mentally head slapped himself. "Want me to bring you something back?"

Gibbs shook his head.

"Okay." Tony turned to leave. "See you in a bit."

"I love you Tony."

Tony's eyes close for a moment and he took a deep breath. He slowly turned back around and met the steely blue eyes. "I love you too."

"If you say no it doesn't change that."

"I know." Tony nodded with a slight smile. "Be back soon."

"Yeah." Gibbs watched Tony until the man disappeared and he heard the front door open and close. He ran his hands down his face. There wasn't enough coffee, bourbon or wood in the world to calm him now.

Walking into the restaurant Tony wasn't surprised when he saw his father sitting at the bar chatting up the attractive brunette bartender. Dropping down onto the barstool beside his father, the bartender smiled at him.

"You must be junior." She grinned.

"I must be." Tony said with a smile.

"Junior this lovely and delightful creature is Samantha."

"Sam please."

"Tony."

"Bourbon?" She asked with a smile.

Tony shook his head. "Little early for Bourbon. Beer, whatever's on tap."

She gave him a wink and headed down the bar.

Senior took a sip of his drink, looked at his son then back at his drink. "So what's bothering you?"

Tony's brow furrowed and he shook his head. "Nothing."

Rolling his eyes, Senior chuckled.

"What?"

"Anthony I may not have been the best father, but I can tell when something is bothering you." Senior took a sip of his drink. They'd come a long way in their relationship, but his son still doubted him.

"Just tired." Tony smiled as Sam returned with his beer then disappeared to the other end of the bar to help another customer.

Senior watched as his son took a longer than normal gulp of beer. "Did he ask you to marry him?"

Tony's throat seized as he tried to choke down his mouthful of beer. Coughing, he sat the glass down and grabbed a napkin from the bar. "No." Tony coughed clearing his throat. "Why would you think that?"

Senior shrugged. "Seems the next logical step."

"Did Jethro say something to you?" There was no way his father had just randomly asked that question.

Senior looked at his son with a questioning look. "Would it really surprise you if he asked?"

Tony's gaze settled on the glass in front of him and he shook his head. No, it wouldn't surprise him at all. Gibbs loved him, wanted a life with him…wanted forever and had told him that several times already.

"But marriage isn't what you want."

"I don't know what I want." Tony whispered still staring at his beer.

"Then get out, end it now before it goes any further."

Jerking his head to the side, Tony stared at his father with shock. "That's your answer, just get out, end it. What the hell kind of advice is that?"

"You're doubting him why continue?"

"I don't doubt him." Tony snapped to Gibbs defense. "Jethro wants a life with me, loves me more than I can comprehend. Jethro is not the problem…I am."

"You're not in love with him?"

"OF COURSE I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM! I TOLD YOU I WAS!" Tony was yelling and he suddenly remembered they were in public and lowered his voice. "I don't exactly know how to be in a loving stable committed relationship."

"Is that so?" Senior took another sip of his drink. "Why's that?"

Tony laughed. "I didn't exactly have the greatest role model for loving relationships."

"That's a convenient excuse."

Mouth falling open, Tony stared at his father.

Staring back at his son, Senior's gaze narrowed. "You weren't even around for most of my failed relationships."

"I didn't have to be around to understand." Tony glared. "Relationships were disposable. If times get rough, you get bored or someone better, richer comes alone, just move on. To hell with the promises you made to each other and trying to fix what's wrong."

"So that's what you want to do, move on, not even try?" Senior's green eyes locked on his son. "You want to be just like me?"

"NO!" Tony shouted. "That's the last thing I want."

Senior shrugged. Most fathers would have been offended by their son's adamant disapproval of wanting to be like them, but he knew his faults and understood. "Then what do you want?"

"I want something real. I want a home with someone. I want to fight and make up, I wanna celebrate the good times together and know that when it gets bad we'll work through it." He let out a deep sigh. "I want a family. I wanna love and be loved and know that will never go away." He suddenly cocked his head to the side as the recognition seeped into his subconscious.

Senior's eyebrow went up and he snickered. He picked up his drink and stared straight ahead. "Funny, I thought you already had that…with Gibbs." Finishing his drink, he caught Sam's attention and held up his empty glass. She nodded her understanding and a second later another drink appeared before him.

"Another beer?" Sam asked.

Tony didn't respond.

"No." Senior smirked. "Pretty sure he'll take that Bourbon now."

"Okay." She chuckled pouring Tony the drink and sitting it on the bar in front of him. "I'll check back."

"Thanks." Senior gave her a wink.

"You set me up." Tony's brow furrowed. "Goaded me into seeing what was right in front of me."

Bringing the glass to his lips, Senior took a drink then rolled the glass in his hand. "Believe it or not I do know what love looks like."

Tony gazed down into the Bourbon glass. "I remember how you use to look at mom."

Senior smiled with a sadness that only the memory of Tony's mother could bring to him. "She was an amazing woman…beautiful, smart, compassionate, caring and full of love." He glanced over at his son. "And stubborn as a mule sometimes."

Tony laughed. "I remember."

Senior swirled the Bourbon around in his cup watching the way the amber liquid danced around the glass. "If you have some need to emulate a relationship, then remember how your mother and I were together."

Staring at his own glass, Tony remember how in love his parents were. The way just a smile from his mother could make his father give in to her every whim, the way his mother's eyes lit up with devotion whenever his father kissed her cheek and the way they refused to go to bed angry with each other. "You loved her."

"Of course I did." Senior scoffed offended by his son's tone. "She was the one person that accepted me flaws and all." He sighed. "And the one person I wanted to spend my entire life with."

"You know in some ways you and Gibbs are a lot alike."

Senior's brow went up.

Chuckling, Tony shook his head. "You both lost the one person you truly loved and you spent half your life holding on to the ghost of that love and trying to replace her."

"Maybe." Senior shrugged.

"You did." Tony reiterated. "Your first two wives looked a lot like mom."

"Yeah." Senior could see that now. "But the big difference is…Gibbs let it go, because of you. He loves you."

Tony looked over at his father. "Will you ever let mom go, fall in love again, real love."

Senior was silent a moment, then shook his head. "I'm a nomad now, not a lifestyle suited for real love." He grinned. "But I have a hell of a lot of fun with the loves I have along the way."

As much as his father tried to make a joke about it, Tony could sense the loneliness in his father's voice. "I'm sure you do." Tony grinned back.

"Did I ever tell you about Haley and Tamara in Morocco?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Several times."

"Well, then you know the fun I have."

"I do." Tony rubbed his forehead. He'd lived his life exactly like his father, jumping from one woman to another, except he wasn't trying to replace anyone. Instead he was trying to fill a void, a void created after his mother's death. The void of not belonging anywhere or to anyone. So he settled for filling the void with one night stands and an apartment that became his fortress of solitude when the one night stands left him empty and alone.

"That's not your life anymore."

"I know." Tony downed his drink.

"Afraid you're going to miss it?" There was still more, something still gnawing at his son.

"God no." Tony balked.

"Then what is it because something is holding you back."

Tony stared at his empty glass. "He asked me to move in."

"Okay."

"I haven't given him an answer."

"So you had a fight."

"No. Just the opposite." Tony ran his hands down his face. "He said nothing will change if I don't want to move in."

"And it bothers you that he'll still love you even if you're not ready to move in with him?" The question was asked with complete confusion.

"It doesn't bother me, it's just…"

"Tony it's only been what, less than two weeks." Senior snickered. "He understands if you need more time."

"Time for what?" Tony questioned. "I love him, that house has always felt like home. My apartment is just a place to sleep, store things, and I dread the thought of going back to that emptiness."

"Then I don't understand." Senior paused. "What's the problem?"

Shaking his head, Tony laughed. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

Tony whipped his head sideways and stared at his father.

"You might not want to admit it, but you know." Senior turned the bar stool and faced his son. "And until you admit it to yourself, you can't admit it to him and that will keep a wall between you."

Looking away, Tony was silent.

"Are you keeping a wall between you two because he's doing the same?"

Tony shook his head. "I've never seen him more open."

"Then you need to decide."

"Decide what?" Tony glanced over at his father.

"Which is more important…keeping that wall up and possibly losing the man you love or letting the wall down and facing the fear with the support of the man you love."

Staring at the coffee maker he tried to will it to brew faster, but it just continued on its slow and steady drip, drip, drip. He ran his hands down his face and took a deep breath. Abandoning the coffee pot, he made his way into the living room and dropped down on the couch. Coffee wasn't really helping anyway. Nothing was helping. Wood and coffee, neither was calming him. He shook his head, he'd forgotten how aggravating it could be, being in love. The incessant adrenaline rush keeping you on edge, the constant want that is never satisfied, the overwhelming emotional need and the gut wrenching worry. He'd experienced it all before, long, long ago. Although, with Shannon it was youthful love, two kids trying to find their way in the big world, wanting out of their small town life, desperate for bigger and better things. They were both on the same roller coaster ride, experiencing everything together for the first time and in awe of how much life had to offer them. They grew up together, became adults without even knowing it, buying a house, having Kelly, building this beautiful life together that both of them treasure. The gut wrenching worry he experienced with Shannon was about her willingness to be a soldiers wife, to accept the fact that they would spend months, possible years apart. Even after he knew she accepted it, supported it, he still worried.

Loving Tony was different it was love with the wisdom that comes with age. Although all those same feelings were there it was completely different. It was a love built on friendship, mutual respect and years of denial. They were two lost souls looking for salvation, salvation from the pain of loss, loneliness, and years of searching for something to fill the void. He'd spent years wallowing in the loss and loneliness and trying to replace a woman that was irreplaceable. Tony had spent his life trying to find somewhere to belong after never having a true place to call home. The women, the short term relationships, they were just a temporary way to cure the loneliness for a moment, without getting to close and possible having to deal with the pain of losing someone again. They loved each other, he didn't doubt that, but there was still the worry. The worry that Tony wouldn't be able to accept that love. Tony had spent some many years putting up the walls, hiding from his true feelings, running from any kind of commitment that Gibbs worried he'd never be able to break through all the defenses the younger man had built.

He let his head rest on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He didn't want to sleep, he wanted to solve the problem, figure out exactly what it was that was holding Tony back, the wall that still existed between them. The exhaustion, the worry took its toll and he fell into a fitful sleep…sleep haunted by erotic images of them making love, then nightmares of Tony walking away.